Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery

[D is for Stupid]

Where does it say that?

https://sonichu.com/cwcki/July_2014_Facebook_Posts#Honor_Roll

July 18th.

Intresting, I read that last week

Edit: wordz

It looks like Chris got a D+ in English, so it looks like Jon is telling the truth. Not sure why the Cwcki says that Jon is lying about being in his class when the final grade agrees with what he said

I think they believe jon was lying being in his same class since his report card leaked not too long before the post.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I think they believe jon was lying being in his same class since his report card leaked not too long before the post.

Oh, I didn't know that Jon's report card was also leaked. How the hell did they get that?

 

[D is for Stupid]

Oh, I didn't know that Jon's report card was also leaked. How the hell did they get that?

I mean Chris's was leaked. Yeah, you can tell i was never on the honor roll .

Words r hardz

Edit: I shouldn't post while half asleep.

 

[Optimus Prime]

This is pretty horrible even thinking about it. But I will stick to the possible lying part.

I mean lets compare to other incidents that were true.

He was never super hung up with mia hamm, he doesn't talk about winning saga contest as a kid that deeply over the years, pretty much anything that really went his way.

So it makes sense he might be lying but here's 2 things that know he's not.

To get China on the regular is a big deal, his whole quest in life was to get China all the time, he just finally broke down and did it and brag about it it's part of his whole life.

And the police had tohave some evidence the crime happened. Yes they put you in jail but they give you a court hearing and your next trial with a restraining order and your kicked out till the trial to figure if he did was true or not. The only way they keep you there is if they have evidence and you can't make bail.

Like caden peck, he was in jail, they had evidence that he was trying to grow shrooms so he stayed in jail. If I'm not mistaken, he didn't want to make bail cause he might of been too dumb to know about bail bond or know how bond works.

The biggest clue is that Chris actively dances around outright denying it most of the time. The example that comes to mind is he tried employing what little he understood of multiversal theory and claimed that it was a different Chris from another timeline that boinked his mother. This simultaneously implies that yes, it did happen, but Chris washes his hands of the matter because it wasn't specifically him. Even though previously he stated part of his omnipotent godhood is effectively being a multiversal consciousness and thus the idea it happened in another dimension doesn't matter because it's still the same Chris.

Obviously, Chris isn't smart enough to comprehend that and likely forgot this claim when he literally threw himself under a bus in another dimension. But since Chris views everything that happens in his mindscape as 'canon' to reality, why make up such an elaborate excuse for fucking his mother if it supposedly didn't even happen? The mere fact this event, according to him, did in fact happen within the scope of all creation, means he can't resolve his own history with the reality he wants to project. This is true of all things that actually happened in his life - he'll whitewash and twist his version of events to suit his ends, such as how he lied about what became the Gamestop Macing incident (he claimed it was an altercation, video evidence clearly shows Chris just wanted an excuse to mace somebody to feel like a powerful woman), but he won't consistently deny these events happened no matter how bad it makes him look.

Remember that Chris doesn't deny the mother fucking happened because he's innocent, he denies it because he's cognizant enough to have learned it's viewed poorly by everyone else no matter how he tries to spin the story. He cares only for himself in the end, as evidenced by how the jail letters had him outright wish for his own mother's death because it meant he could get 14BC to himself and that somehow would get him out of prison (even though the main reason he was arrested in the first place was him violating a protection order trough withdrawing funds from Barb's account).

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I mean Chris's was leaked. Yeah, you can tell i was never on the honor roll .

Words r hardz

Edit: I shouldn't post while half asleep.

I assume that Chris's was found by trash raider

 

[Beardless Lenin]

I assume that Chris's was found by trash raider

By @garbageraider himself.

 

[WonderWino]

The biggest clue is that Chris actively dances around outright denying it most of the time. The example that comes to mind is he tried employing what little he understood of multiversal theory and claimed that it was a different Chris from another timeline that boinked his mother. This simultaneously implies that yes, it did happen, but Chris washes his hands of the matter because it wasn't specifically him. Even though previously he stated part of his omnipotent godhood is effectively being a multiversal consciousness and thus the idea it happened in another dimension doesn't matter because it's still the same Chris.

Somehow that doesn't surprise me. He's clearly too stupid to realize that insanity of that explanation aside, any attempt to make it requires him to admit that his mother did in fact get fucked by him. He's just trying to manipulate others into not holding him responsible for that because it was totally an alternate universe version of him. That he thinks it would be a wise move shows he can't be too bright at all, but he is extremely manipulative

It also sounds eerily similar to bulla's excuse that he didn't rape his stepdaughter - his evil demonic clone that he saw at pizza hut did it. Major sex offender logic there. Really makes me wonder what else he's capable of. If he's willing to fuck his mother I wouldn't put it past him to be a pedo, at the very least in an opportunistic way if such a situation should present itself, if not go out of his way to creep on one

I am extremely skeptical of the claims of that freak legitimately making the honor roll in high school and the dean's list in college.

I'd like to agree with that, but standards in high school and colleges have dropped far more than many people realize. Lets not forget lucas werner of all people made the honor roll for english in college and brags about it to no end. The same lucas werner who has shit spelling, atrocious grammar and who publicly admitted to submitting multiple essays and such on the topic of how its totally good for 40 year olds to fuck teen girls cause of telomeres and that whole 'i'm ready to be a dad' one that made my skin fucking crawl and in any sane school should have resulted in him being called into the instructors office for a long talk about what is and isn't appropriate to put in an essay, if not immediately gotten him flagged as an obvious pedo and potential campus predator. But since he's stupider than rocks the geniuses at SCC decided to earn their progressive points by giving him an obvious bullshit grade in english and putting him on honor roll....despite the fact he managed to fail every other course including remedial math and biology...and didn't even graduate high school or have a GED and still managed to somehow get into college

So yeah, i''m not so skeptical about the idea that any idiot who is probably too stupid for college to be able to get on the honor roll these days through similar stupidity

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I mean Chris's was leaked. Yeah, you can tell i was never on the honor roll .

So yeah, i''m not so skeptical about the idea that any idiot who is probably too stupid for college to be able to get on the honor roll these days through similar stupidity

It is likely best to assume anything that lolcow says about himself that's flattering or makes him look good is a lie, unless known otherwise. After all, he's "healed" Barb.

 

[King Kiwi]

It is likely best to assume anything that lolcow says about himself that's flattering or makes him look good is a lie, unless known otherwise. After all, he's "healed" Barb.

Yeah thank you for mentioning that but it would be very bad to believe anything Chris ever says when he's trying to be nice.

It's either because he's being prodded to do it or because he possibly stands or thinks he stands to get something out of it.

he tried employing what little he understood of multiversal theory and claimed that it was a different Chris from another timeline that boinked his mother. This simultaneously implies that yes, it did happen, but Chris washes his hands of the matter because it wasn't specifically him.

And thank you as well for putting this sufficiently.

I know he said this many videos ago but it's nice to have a bit of a summary even if my eyes are crossed now.

 

[AnOminous]

But since he's stupider than rocks the geniuses at SCC decided to earn their progressive points by giving him an obvious bullshit grade in english and putting him on honor roll....despite the fact he managed to fail every other course including remedial math and biology...and didn't even graduate high school or have a GED and still managed to somehow get into college

He was never on honor roll (or at least probably wasn't). Even Bob admitted that on a phone call.

 

[Stinkyboy]

Bob did all his school work. Bob got on honor roll

 

[James Brown]

There's no way the legitimacy of honor roll is being debated in 2025.

 

[King Metalia]

There's no way the legitimacy of honor roll is being debated in 2025.

You must be new here. A general rule around these parts is everything Chris says is probably a lie unless it's something batshit or deviant.

 

[James Brown]

You must be new here. A general rule around these parts is everything Chris says is probably a lie unless it's something batshit or deviant.

Well excuse me nigger. It's been known that honor roll is a complete lie for a decade. Hence, it's pretty insane to even be debating it in 2025 since we know he had D's in at least one class. This drought is pretty rough huh

 

[Ammyterasu]

He was never on honor roll (or at least probably wasn't). Even Bob admitted that on a phone call.

I agree, but it's possible his school had some kind of unofficial "honor roll" in-name-only to make the less fortunate kids feel better about themselves and Chris self-deluded he was getting the real thing (then he got butthurt they didn't kiss his ass enough by giving him better awards). Chris was wearing a thing over his graduation robe that usually indicates honor roll (idk how it works in the States, if the school provides them or if it's the parents who bought them)

 

[King Kiwi]

Bob did all his school work. Bob got on honor roll

Did he really?

I'm not surprised but that would explain if Chris got on the honor roll at all.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

Did he really?

I'm not surprised but that would explain if Chris got on the honor roll at all.

Chris said something along the lines of Bob did the "brain work" in community college, which I took to mean, Bob did all the actual work on Chris's projects.

If you look at his comics vs his CADD work, you can definitely tell Chris didn't do it. Outside of his goofy Sonichu logo, everything looks relatively well done, except for the grotesque proportions and enormous size of everything.

Chris probably spent more time being disruptive, making his Gimme Pussy ads to hang all over the school, or getting into fights with Mary Lee Walsh than actual studying. Come to think of it, I think he was asked what he remembered most about college and he didn't say anything like cramming for tests or being worried about a project, just some ice skating outing he went on.

 

[King Kiwi]

Chris said something along the lines of Bob did the "brain work" in community college, which I took to mean, Bob did all the actual work on Chris's projects.

If you look at his comics vs his CADD work, you can definitely tell Chris didn't do it. Outside of his goofy Sonichu logo, everything looks relatively well done, except for the grotesque proportions and enormous size of everything.

Chris probably spent more time being disruptive, making his Gimme Pussy ads to hang all over the school, or getting into fights with Mary Lee Walsh than actual studying. Come to think of it, I think he was asked what he remembered most about college and he didn't say anything like cramming for tests or being worried about a project, just some ice skating outing he went on.

His father did his college work for him hilarious.

 

[Head]

how the fuck does she still not know anything about him? maybe a retard or problematic like him

 

[PhoBingas]

So how is she tolerating him for a year+? Not just tolerating but seemingly really attached to him? Even other autists and terminally online brainrots have friction when interacting with Chris after a very short time.

Caden is paying her. That's the only reason I could see some Finn willingly hanging out with mister mother-fucker. I figure Caden's paying her in shrooms or weed or cash to be Chris' pretend girlfriend. Caden is probably using Flutter as the carrot in a carrot and stick scheme to keep Chris pumping out etsy shit.