Former Celebrities

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Frankie Muniz seems to be rattling around on Twitter a lot (where his life is so dismally boring he gets worked up over things like golf.)
Other than Sharknado 3, he's been doing some work for a Veteran PTSD documentary and...pretty much just playing golf. There's a pretty exciting run in with some spiders a few months' tweets back, but otherwise the man is single-handedly keeping Marie Callender's in business.
 

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Just read through the thread, surprised nobody's really mentioned Shia LaBeouf or Megan Fox - after Transformers both really went downhill.

For Shia, following the third TF film he appeared in a few other films (Eagle Eye, some film called 'Source Code' which is basically kind of using the rewind-time gimmick of Edge of Tomorrow except it's on a train or something and a lot less exciting from what I remember, and of course Crystal Skull) but he suddenly dropped off the face of the earth for a while...until he showed up in articles about getting arrested for getting drunk and either assulting somebody or just drunk driving I don't recall which. He's kept going downhill ever since, between showing up at some public event wearing a paper bag, then making a big deal about appearing in some porno, but the worst had to be that plagiarized script. Seriously, if you're apologizing for blatant plagerism, you look like a real piece of shit when people learn your apology was also heavily plagiarized! Thankfully after that debacle, the only thing of note he seems to have done since was make some motivational video though for what reasons I have no idea.

As for Megan Fox, generally screaming at your boss on set that he's Hitler is a surefire way to screw up your career. Not like she really had one - she's ok in the first TF film but you can literally see her in the background of some shots rolling her eyes or doing other things entirely out of character, and she's not much of an actress to begin with in the talent department. Then she got plastic reconstruction or something and, I don't know about anybody else, but frankly I think she looks uglier for it. I'm guessing the only two post-TF2 roles I know of she's actually gotten - some prostie in Jonah Hex and as the main possessed chick who screws all her victims in Jennifer's Body, both films being pretty terrible for the record - indicate most people agree as well, since past 2010 I don't know what she's been up to but it probably isn't starring in good films.
 
Well, talentless pairs of tits gotta eat too.

I'm really not surprised LaBeouf destructed so fast, he didn't even have the luxury of ever having a "beloved and popular" stage to fall from, most people seemed to regard him as a product of Hollywood hype from the get-go and knew he was a goner once people saw enough of him to realize he had nothing beyond looks.
 
Well, talentless pairs of tits gotta eat too.

I'm really not surprised LaBeouf destructed so fast, he didn't even have the luxury of ever having a "beloved and popular" stage to fall from, most people seemed to regard him as a product of Hollywood hype from the get-go and knew he was a goner once people saw enough of him to realize he had nothing beyond looks.

Most or all American actors whose appeal is being young, white and attractive necessarily have a shelf life of ten years or less. Shia's big break was Disturbia, which was released in 2007, so time was already working against him. So I'm also not surprised he's already grasping for relevance.
 
I wonder why Michael Bay was willing to let her on the project when she compared him to Hitler.
IIRC, Bay didn't actually care all that much about the Hitler comparison; Steven Spielberg was the one who wanted her off Dark of the Moon, and even then I'm not sure it was the only reason so much as just being the straw that broke the camel's back.

In the same vein, Katherine Heigl didn't do herself many favors by calling Knocked Up sexist before it had even hit the DVD shelf, although in that particular instance I think Judd Apatow's fanboys were almost as lolcowish for the way they royally chimped out over the whole mess.
 
IIRC, Bay didn't actually care all that much about the Hitler comparison; Steven Spielberg was the one who wanted her off Dark of the Moon, and even then I'm not sure it was the only reason so much as just being the straw that broke the camel's back.

In the same vein, Katherine Heigl didn't do herself many favors by calling Knocked Up sexist before it had even hit the DVD shelf, although in that particular instance I think Judd Apatow's fanboys were almost as lolcowish for the way they royally chimped out over the whole mess.
Heigl is a joke. Apatow handled her idiocy brilliantly by encouraging people to watch and decide for themselves.
 
Also, Edward Furlong was mentioned in passing a few pages back, but he's the perennial example of a fallen child star.

He was momentarily on top of the world when Terminator 2 got big, but his career started to capsize around the end of the 90s when he stopped making the cut for a bunch of so-and-so films; American History X was the only notable film after T2 where he landed a leading role. He was ravaged by a drug addiction he developed when he realised his career was stalling and went in and out of rehab for a number of years. Also immediately after T2, he got involved with some woman twice his age who would rip him off for like a quarter of his money some years later.

Later on, being passed over to play John Connor in Terminator 3 crushed him, supposedly because he was eager (or desperate) for the opportunity to cash in on his original success and revive his fame. He's been on the periphery of relevance since then, scraping by on shitty sequels and DVD-only releases he blew on drugs and hopping in and out of jail on domestic violence charges from his failed marriage and beating his subsequent girlfriend. Last I heard about him a year or two ago he was in rehab again for his last assault charge and broke from child support payments.

He's an interesting story to me because after American History X he should have just disappeared from existence, but the media's been playing a tiny violin for him ever since his drug and money problems became obvious. Most people only care about his tragedy because it's fascinating how quickly he fell from his stardom in the early 90s, and I suspect he'll be a footnote in entertainment news until the day he dies.
 
Frankie Muniz seems to be rattling around on Twitter a lot (where his life is so dismally boring he gets worked up over things like golf.)
Other than Sharknado 3, he's been doing some work for a Veteran PTSD documentary and...pretty much just playing golf. There's a pretty exciting run in with some spiders a few months' tweets back, but otherwise the man is single-handedly keeping Marie Callender's in business.

He was doing a AMA on Reddit last week and I was half tempted to ask him what ever happened to his career. But even I thought that was too mean, so I didn't. I'm sure other people asked him the same thing though.

Just read through the thread, surprised nobody's really mentioned Shia LaBeouf or Megan Fox - after Transformers both really went downhill.

For Shia, following the third TF film he appeared in a few other films (Eagle Eye, some film called 'Source Code' which is basically kind of using the rewind-time gimmick of Edge of Tomorrow except it's on a train or something and a lot less exciting from what I remember, and of course Crystal Skull) but he suddenly dropped off the face of the earth for a while...until he showed up in articles about getting arrested for getting drunk and either assulting somebody or just drunk driving I don't recall which. He's kept going downhill ever since, between showing up at some public event wearing a paper bag, then making a big deal about appearing in some porno, but the worst had to be that plagiarized script. Seriously, if you're apologizing for blatant plagerism, you look like a real piece of shit when people learn your apology was also heavily plagiarized! Thankfully after that debacle, the only thing of note he seems to have done since was make some motivational video though for what reasons I have no idea.

As for Megan Fox, generally screaming at your boss on set that he's Hitler is a surefire way to screw up your career. Not like she really had one - she's ok in the first TF film but you can literally see her in the background of some shots rolling her eyes or doing other things entirely out of character, and she's not much of an actress to begin with in the talent department. Then she got plastic reconstruction or something and, I don't know about anybody else, but frankly I think she looks uglier for it. I'm guessing the only two post-TF2 roles I know of she's actually gotten - some prostie in Jonah Hex and as the main possessed chick who screws all her victims in Jennifer's Body, both films being pretty terrible for the record - indicate most people agree as well, since past 2010 I don't know what she's been up to but it probably isn't starring in good films.

He was in Lars von Trier's Nymphomaniac and in addition to it being an overly pretentious art house film, he does the worse attempt at a British accent since Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins. But he also wore a paper bag over his head during the premiere that said "I'm not famous anymore." So at least he's self aware.

Can't say much about Fox but I think it's well known that if you're only known as an actress for being "hot", you're career isn't likely to last long. Her openly comparing Bay to Hitler doesn't seem very bright either, even though Bay seems like a douche himself.
 
Can't say much about Fox but I think it's well known that if you're only known as an actress for being "hot", you're career isn't likely to last long. Her openly comparing Bay to Hitler doesn't seem very bright either, even though Bay seems like a douche himself.
Michael Bay is a douche but he was the douche who paid her salary.
 
As for Megan Fox, generally screaming at your boss on set that he's Hitler is a surefire way to screw up your career. Not like she really had one - she's ok in the first TF film but you can literally see her in the background of some shots rolling her eyes or doing other things entirely out of character, and she's not much of an actress to begin with in the talent department. Then she got plastic reconstruction or something and, I don't know about anybody else, but frankly I think she looks uglier for it. I'm guessing the only two post-TF2 roles I know of she's actually gotten - some prostie in Jonah Hex and as the main possessed chick who screws all her victims in Jennifer's Body, both films being pretty terrible for the record - indicate most people agree as well, since past 2010 I don't know what she's been up to but it probably isn't starring in good films.
Megan Fox was hired for one reason, and it's because Michael Bay decided she was the hottest girl. Which indicates he has shit taste because I don't think she's attractive at all, let alone super hot. When she got fired after the second Transformers I remember she actually said something to the effect of "I don't need to be good at acting because all that really matters is I look good" (no I don't have an actual quote, nor do I know when and where she said that). Jennifer's Body came out shortly after and immediately proved that nobody gives a shit about Megan Fox when she's not standing next to Michael Bay CGI abominations.
 
Megan Fox was hired for one reason, and it's because Michael Bay decided she was the hottest girl. Which indicates he has shit taste because I don't think she's attractive at all, let alone super hot. When she got fired after the second Transformers I remember she actually said something to the effect of "I don't need to be good at acting because all that really matters is I look good" (no I don't have an actual quote, nor do I know when and where she said that). Jennifer's Body came out shortly after and immediately proved that nobody gives a shit about Megan Fox when she's not standing next to Michael Bay CGI abominations.
It's possible that Michael Bay thought that because she was a model she would be attractive to a general audience, not realizing that models tend to be weird looking due to memorability being the thing that drives their careers over real attractiveness
 
I've got loads of Scientology stories. Operation Clambake and Lermanet are gold mines.
David "Slappy" Miscavige, current CEO of Scientology Inc., threatened a staff member with "I'll send Tom Cruise to kick your ass." Worst threat ever.
Scientology is a perfect breeding ground for celebrity lolcows because it encourages egotism. Its adherents literally believe that they are the only ones capable of saving the world. That, incidentally, is also why so many people do awful shit in its name - they believe the end justifies the means. They also believe, again literally, that when they reach the top levels of the religion, they will have godlike superpowers. The celebrity members get special treatment because they're a useful recruiting tool, so they're surrounded constantly by yes-men. The result is that the celebrities become incredibly arrogant and totally unsuited to the real world. If you're someone like Tom Cruise, that doesn't really matter - his movies make a shit-ton of money, so Hollywood indulges him. But someone like Kirstie Alley, who doesn't have the star power of Cruise, isn't so lucky.

David Miscavige would make a pretty good lolcow/horrorcow himself. He's a ridiculous little man who dresses as a sailor and thinks he's a god.

I actually find Tila Tequila pretty fascinating. She's probably the purest example of someone who blurs the line between a lolcow and a celebrity. She's also the only person on said border I can think of who was the former before becoming the latter.

I wouldn't consider anything she's done dignified or worth repeating by any other human being, but it's still fascinating that it happened at all.
Yeah, Tila is an interesting one, in that she will do anything for fame. She's the purest example of fame for fame's sake. She has no real talent, but she will do whatever it takes for attention. Reality TV, claims of bisexuality, offensive tweets, she's even done actual porn. I kind of feel sorry for her, because I just think you have to be pretty fucked up in the head to act like that.
 
I've got loads of Scientology stories. Operation Clambake and Lermanet are gold mines.
David "Slappy" Miscavige, current CEO of Scientology Inc., threatened a staff member with "I'll send Tom Cruise to kick your ass." Worst threat ever.

David Miscavige is both a lolcow and a horrorcow, the latter becoming more apparent if you decided to look up his wife on Google. The documentary Going Clear goes into his shenanigans more as well L. Ron Hubbard's, Tom Cruise's, and John Travolta's (Although the documentary did make me feel a bit bad for Travolta though).

For the record, I know Going Clear was a book before but I've only seen the movie.
 
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As if Scientology isn't bad enough, the version celebs get fed isn't even close to what the "regular" people get, the horror stories of people who got drug in by family/marriage and had to fight their way out of it's grip only makes the celebrity endorsers that much more reprehensible.
 
David Miscavige is both a lolcow and a horrorcow, the latter becoming more apparent if you decided to look up his wife on Google. The documentary Going Clear goes into his shenanigans more as well L. Ron Hubbard's, Tom Cruise's, and John Travolta's (Although the documentary did make me feel a bit bad for the Travolta though).

For the record, I know Going Clear was a book before but I've only seen the movie.
Scientology specifically states that there's no such thing as mental illness. It's all a conspiracy by psychiatrists and thetans.

If it weren't for those fuckers, Travolta's son would still be alive. David Miscavige should be burnt at the stake.
 
David Miscavige is both a lolcow and a horrorcow, the latter becoming more apparent if you decided to look up his wife on Google. The documentary Going Clear goes into his shenanigans more as well L. Ron Hubbard's, Tom Cruise's, and John Travolta's (Although the documentary did make me feel a bit bad for Travolta though).
Yeah, I feel a bit sorry for Travolta. Cruise is an android, Jenna Elfman and Kirstie Alley come across as kind of assholes. Travolta seems, on the whole, to be a nice guy. The trouble is that he must be aware of the accusations against the Church, and he's one of the people who could bring some influence to bear against Miscavige, yet he does nothing. One could speculate that the cult has info he might not want leaked.
 
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