First stop is
Amercian Samoa. That's the standing of the last season in 2024.

The 2024 season lasted from July 27th til November 27th so I assume the 2025 will happen in the same window then. Anyways, Pago Youth scored an average of 9.9 goals per match. Surprisingly the worst defence isn't been found within the team that ranked last. It's Lion Heart with 170 conceided goals in 20 matches, that's 8.5 on average.
Couldn't find any information on the league on
Cook Islands. Not even sure if they have a regular league. They seem to have some clubs but couldn't find any info, not even on the official homepage of the CI association.
The
Fiji top league is surprisingly mild. Or low energy? Or balanced? At least judging by the standings for the 2024 season (the 2025 season is still going on).

The worst team conceided 43 goals in 18 matches, that's ~2.39 on average which isn't that bad. The best team scored 45 goals in 18 matches which is 2.5 goals/per match.
Fiji Premier League was established in 1977 and Ba is the best team with 21 championships so far but they only ranked 5th last season. This season they are 3rd at the moment after 10 matchdays.
Next is
Kiribati and they don't even play every year. Sometimes there is a gap of a year, sometimes it's 2 years, sometimes it's 3 years, sometimes nobody knows what's even going on. Wtf.
Ok, so
New Caledonia has a top league but I can't find any league standings. Wikipedia only lists every season's winners and that's it. Other sources I checked have even less information
(Zero. Other sources provide zero information on the New Caledonian top league.).
So let's move to
New Zealand then. I was looking into the NZ league system a few days ago, when the club WC started and I got confused by it. Auckland FC seems to play in two different leagues and they seem to have two men's teams but also not and there are different leagues where clubs play to qualify for the top league which sounds like some sort of relegation but it's not a relegation system and somehow everybody plays everbody but also not and I just gave up. Oh, and one team, the Western Phoenix Reserves, also get's it's spot in the top league safe every year bc reasons I guess. The "New Zealand National League" seems to be the official top league but was only established in 2021.

At the end of the season the two top clubs play a final match to crown the league winner. Auckland FC won that match for the 2024 thus they are the champions.
Again, the league looks pretty mild. But then again, how much can things escalate if you only have 9 matches to play?
Papua New Guinea got their top footy league only back in 2006. And they seem to have several seasons to be played delayed bc lack of interest from teams, spectators, sponsors and everyone else but also bc nature seems to fuck them up here and there. Oh, and one player once died bc he got kicked in the fucking stomach and then you just fucking die bc healt care seems to be fucking vodoo magic in Papua New Guinea. Out of 17 seasons played the PNG super duper premier league saw astonishing
two teams securing the championship. They play a regular season and then have a little knockout tournament where the best teams play. Winner get's crowned as champions of the season.
Samoa has the Samoa National League and they have one fucking stadium for the whole league to play in.

Apparently it seems to be closed for renovation so I guess no league then? More detailed information is sparse.
Next is the
Solomon Island S-League, also known as Telekom S-League bc sponsor reasons, and they actually play just a normal, regular season.

And the 2024 standings look like a normal, regular season. Neat.
And then there is
Tahiti ...
The Tonga Major League looks like this:

Uhm, ten teams but every team plays only one match per season? Huh? That can't be real. That's how the 2019 season looked in the end:

I don't know what happened there in 2024 bc again, information is sparse so let's move on to
Tuvalu.
Oh boy.
So it looks like they have a league but I can't really find an info on how the league works. But they have a lot of cups on Tuvalu. Like a league cup, the Independence cup to celebrate the independence of Tuvalu, the National Bank of Tuvalu cup sponsored by the National Bank of Tuvalu, the Taganoa cup, the christmas cup and then there are the mighty Tuvalu Games! All I could find out is it's all the different islands doings sports against each other where they also play football and people get wasted on island moonshine.
Last but not least is
Vanuatu. Looks like they have three leagues but I can't really find any further information on how relegation works. At the end of their season the top four clubs of the top (?) league play a little tournament and the winner plays in the OFC champions league.
To end this little trip around Oceania and their leagues here is the current standing of all OFC members and their men's national teams in the FIFA world ranking:

OFC doesn't have provide the worst men's national team bc it's UEFA with San Marino (#210).
Godspeed to all the island dwellers and their leagues
