Game of Thrones Thread

[Your Weird Fetish]

For spectacle I have video games.

 

[cecograph]

The real question is, "Are the showrunners stupid enough to end the army of the dead at Winterfell?"

That would complete a gloriously shitty writing arc. Last season, someone came up with the harebrained idea of going beyond the wall to capture a Wight, drag it all the way down South to show Cersei, in the hope that it would convince her to send her own armies North. It was completely ludicrous, needing generous use of the Westeros network of wormholes, and in the end, it completely failed. Cersei agrees to help and then a second later goes "lol! Not rly!"

If the Army of the Dead is defeated at Winterfell, then it will further highlight the utter pointlessness of last season's silliest plot.

 

[Secret Asshole]

I mean, I don't really care about the Iton Throne shit at this point. It's far clearer the bigger, more interesting threat was the army of the dead. You have prophecies around it, this overarching mystery and then, what? Oh they get stopped at Winterfell. Wow, you just wasted the most interesting shit the series had.

Part of my worries is that a large majority of the important characters just don't give a fuck. Dany doesn't care, Cersei doesn't care, you've got like the 3 dudes left in the night's watch, Beric and Bran. Everyone else is just there for a reunion. Even Jamie's point is just to tell them Cersei doesn't care.

So it makes me worried that this will all be resolved because normies like the dumb Iron Throne shit better.

When in reality the entire season should be about them.

 

[Tookie]

The biggest theme of the entire series has been that everyone is too busy bickering over the Iron Throne and not paying enough attention to the Army of the Dead. Of course they're continuing that theme with Dany and Cersei still being obsessed with it even as everyone is about to get zombified.

This isn't getting resolved next week. It will be resolved in the finale likely with Jon/Dany sacrificing the other to become Azor Ahai or possibly Jaime offing Cersei to fulfill the role.

edit: fuck.

 

[_blank_]

I honestly don't think Winterfell has a chance in hell of beating the White Walkers, barring the outside possibility Mellisandre and Team Lord of Light come barreling in on monster trucks screaming, "Praise the Sun, Bitches!" At best, this is going to be a chance for the living to put a dent in the White Walker's march before they get to King's Landing.

This is my theory on how this is going to work:

Spoiler: Hardcore Guess-timations

• White Walkers show up and the initial waves are wiped out due to dragonglass and pointed sticks and rampaging Tormnds.
• Ah, but the White Walkers are sneaky pricks and will probably manage to either breach the walls or as some are speculating, do some console command trickery and resurrect the dead hanging out in the Winterfell crypts. Who knows, maybe we'll get to see Lady Stoneheart show up and wreck some shit.
• We'll probably see mass panic coming from inside and outside Winterfell with the castle population being separated, a faction of which will be able to barricade themselves away and/or somehow escape Winterfell via secret forgotten tunnels or whatever.
• Now here's where things might get interesting... I suspect there may be some changing of the guard when the Night King confronts Bran. I suspect if the Night King dies, he's going to warg his essence into Bran -or- he's going to somehow possess Dany or -maybe- Jon, but that's an outside chance. Perhaps Sansa, then we can all make memes later on how she's the Ice Queen here and the Phoenix in the upcoming X-Men movie.

In any case, even if the Night King falls, the march will not end.

-After the battle, the survivors will be scattered. Most will try to make their way through the riverlands and to King's Landing, and some will try to escape via the Iron Islands. The ones that got to the Iron Islands will survive, the rest will be met in a pincer attack between the Golden Company and the White Walkers.

-White Walkers manage to worm their way into King's Landing. Cersei says, "Fuck It All. Kids are Dead. Jamie hates me. Euron gave me a horrible case of Deep Ones Crabs. Qyburn, get the wildfire. All of it. And nukes most of the city.

-Epilogue finds the castle hall just the way Dany saw it in her vision while at the Temple of the Undying. Everything is fucked. Such is the price for those who crave power. Hamfisted monologue about destroying ourselves, etc. etc.

 

[darkhorse816]

The biggest theme of the entire series has been that everyone is too busy bickering over the Iron Throne and not paying enough attention to the Army of the Dead. Of course they're continuing that theme with Dany and Cersei still being obsessed with it even as everyone is about to get zombified.

This isn't getting resolved next week. It will be resolved in the finale likely with Jon/Dany sacrificing the other to become Azor Ahai or possibly Jaime offing Cersei to fulfill the role.

Remember Davos is in the running as well for Azor Ahai. And the Valonquar can be any younger sibling because Valyrian is gender neutral. So Sansa, Arya (Arya wearing Jaimie’s face after her dies a heroic death).

Also a little off topic but has anyone played Reigns? They do a Game of Thrones edition which is great and shows what would happen if various characters got the throne.

 

[GC_Positive]

The rations?! Gilly no!

 

[darkhorse816]

View attachment 736078

The rations?! Gilly no!

Maybe she’s pregnant with Little Sam Jr?

 

[Feline Supremacist]

it irks me how some people undersell Dany's backstory.

To me this is story about a girl who somehow hatches three dragons that are completely loyal and under her control and makes her way back home to reclaim what's hers but has to beat the ice zombies first. Everything else is peripheral except when it isn't, like Jon being a secret Targaryen. I suspect there's more that isn't, like possibly the Azor Ahai and Maggie the Frog prophecies. HBO is hit or miss with it, like Sand Snakes or the over the top Thenns and Ramsey Bolton but does get it right sometimes.

It will be over soon so there's that. I'll miss some characters, like Bear Loli, Jorah the Andal (who is apparently a player IRL) and Dolorous Edd but we'll have a truly awful prequel to bitch about though.

 

[CWCissey]

Maybe she’s pregnant with Little Sam Jr?

In her chin?

Also I fully expect Jaime to be Azor Ahai at this point for slaughtering Cersei with a normal blade (isn't that essentially how you make Valarian steel?) Jon already has Longclaw, and I think he'll fall out of love with Dany when she turns.

 

[Your Weird Fetish]

View attachment 736078

The rations?! Gilly no!

Couples really do always end up looking like each other after awhile...

 

[darkhorse816]

In her chin?

Scratch that. Sam stole several books from the Citadel, and they had to get rid of the evidence to escape the Maester police.... or she could be getting her first decent meals in years.

 

[OttoWest]

That would complete a gloriously shitty writing arc. Last season, someone came up with the harebrained idea of going beyond the wall to capture a Wight, drag it all the way down South to show Cersei, in the hope that it would convince her to send her own armies North. It was completely ludicrous, needing generous use of the Westeros network of wormholes, and in the end, it completely failed. Cersei agrees to help and then a second later goes "lol! Not rly!"

Go ahead and find a worse, more convoluted and ridiculous way to give the Night King an ice dragon. I dare you.

 

[Spatula]

My problem with Arya is that she is ugly(i'm sorry) and is one of the people I never want to see naked in the first place.

The actress having the acting capabilities of a driftwood doesn't help.

 

[Salt_Merchant]

Go ahead and find a worse, more convoluted and ridiculous way to give the Night King an ice dragon. I dare you.

Dragon lady wakes up and it was all a dream

 

[Zersetzung]

Cercei fancies herself Tywin's proper heir so she's aiming to show up late to the battle and take the glory. That implies Winterfell is getting gangfucked, but we knew that already.

There's a symmetry emerging between the big female characters. Even Sansa is wearing the same armour as Cercei.
But Arya stands out, because I really doubt after all that shit she went through she's just going to return home and reclaim her humanity. So what could she need king jizz for?

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

As much as I hate to say it, I fear Tormund isn't long for this world. Neither is Jorah, Davos or Theon.

One missed opportunity here, though: They should have stuck a piece of Dragonglass on Jaime's golden hand, so he could bitchslap a couple wrights into the afterlife.

Terrible episode. A lot of talking, but few good character moments. Everybody was the same combination of weepy and introspective. Contrast that to the Blackwater where you had everybody dealing with the impending battle differently.

That "lots of talking" is what I would consider character moments, though. I really liked it, especially in contrast to the Blackwater thing, otherwise it would have just felt like retreading ground. And besides, people still did different things (like the Hound/Berric, Arya/Gendry, etc.)
I liked how these different characters ended up in the great hall next to the fireplace, pretty much for their own reasons, and started talking a few things. It's a neat somber note to lead into the battle... and it gave us Tormund's scene.

Also, lol, at stuffing people in the crypts. Send them south to Greywater Watch where they'll be safe, you imbeciles.

If they can reach that in time. Given how the undead might have spread out already with their cavalry (and their dragon), sending people to Greywater might make them end up on the pointy end of an ice lance.
People seem to criticise sending people to the crypts over the buried remains of the Starks being down there, however afaik, the Night King can't just raise random dead, can he? Especially when they have been dead for such a long time that there's, at best, a few bones remaining, which ware placed beneath a life-sized statue made of rock.

I'd argue the crypts are the most secure place for anyone not fighting.

I didn't quite understand the point of it. Brienne was already a Kingsguard under Renly, had bestowed upon her a Valyrian steel sword and sent on a knightly errand by Jaime, and was given a squire. The only thing she lacked was the title, and we were given no indication at all throughout the series that the title was important to her or to anyone.

Ina feudal society, that title is still very important. Contrast that with our real history. There's countless examples of people fulfilling the same role as a knight in warfare, however they were no knights, thus their privileges were not equal to that of a night. In Westeros, the difference between some dude with a sword and an actual anointed knight is pretty huge.
I liked the scene of her becoming a knight, it was genuinely touching and it just feels so right for Brienne to be finally recognized as a knight, even though by only a small number of people.

If night king follows Bran, why the fuck not send him to KL. He's got that homing beacon on his arm, so send him to KL and hide him in some dungeon. Dead dudes fuck Cersei up, then Jon and Danny show up, fuck them up, the throne is right there, perfect ending!

King's Landing has roughly half a million inhabitants. It's not going to be able to withstand a dragon and a horde of undead, that has been grown by a cross-continental killing spree. And after taking King's Landing and its inhabitants, the Night King would be unstoppable.

Daenerys is my favorite character because she's largely a self-made woman. Hatching her dragons, freeing the slaves, earning her army, etc were all done without any help from others.

While she did end up in a pretty amazing position, saying she did this by herself is a pretty weird statement. What about Jorah and Selmy? What about Tyrion and Varis? The List goes on. In the books, she's a decent character with a neat plot, but in the show, Dany is constantly doing something stupid that shoots her own efforts in the foot. Like making Meereen hate her for killing that one dude even though everyon told her that it would make the population hate her.
And given the aforementioned burning of the Taryls, it seems she's now as bad as ever.
The endless bickering about who's going to sit on the iron throne is something that I don't get at all about her character (or anyone else bickering about it either). Jon is the only level headed guy in that shitshow. Who the fuck cares whether he's the King in the North, when the survival of the entire continent is at stake?
Dany could just promise him the North as his own kingdom for his service in the great war against the Night King, but no one should care about this nonsense anyway. The Iron Throne is the kind of future problem that you tackle once you find out whether there even is going to be a future or not.

 

[iRON-mAn]

The King in the North issue is stupid because Daenarys could just give them princely preference the same way her ancestors did for Dorne out of respect and the fact that they couldn't outright conquer them.

I also don't understand the insistence of this twist that the Night King is marching around Winterfell to King's Landing instead and coming back up to flank them. I know this show messes with time, but there's absolutely no way to simply march down from the North and back without the team at Winterfell getting suspicious. Like Thormund seen them marching to Winterfell. Unless, we're suggesting that wasn't the main force and NK was already on his way to KL by that point. They'd realise something was up when the army of the dead should have gotten to Winterfell days ago and didn't.

Even assuming that NK left at the wall, and went straight to KL with another force, there's no way to march an army to KL without being seen. NK on a dragon could fly straight there, fine, but you have to march an army through the neck and the riverlands, there's no other way south except by boat which the wights can't use. Cersei might be short-sighted but she's not an idiot. She knows either Daenarys or the dead are marching down from the North. Either Qyburn's informants or Cersei's scouts would tell her if an army was marching down. And if he were to march down, he'd need the white walkers on horses to get there fast, and we already seen those at Winterfell. So the only way NK is going to sneak attack KL is by going alone, by himself, to KL with his dragon...to a place where he's out numbered, and they have arrows capable of taking down dragons and a ton of wildfire. Ok, we don't know if any of that will or won't be effective, but Widow's Wail, Joffrey's valerian steel sword is still held in the Red Keep.

I can see this Winterfell battle being brutal, and maybe it lasts an episode and a half, but I'm almost certain it's going to end here.

 

[CWCissey]

What if the Night King attacks The Iron Islands on Dragonback?

 

[Judge Holden]

Slight realisation of who "condescending smile" Dany reminds me of...