Game of Thrones Thread

[Truthspeaker]

Aerys is not Tyrion's father, that completely ruins the dramatic irony of Tyrion being Tywin's true heir. It's a exceptional and useless theory. Always has been. Just like Oberyn poisoning Tywin, Quentin Is Alive, Euron=Daario, and

Spoiler

the Cleganebowl, which will certainly happen in the show but never in the books.

Martin's been implying Tyrion was Aerys son for longer than Rowling implied Harry was a horcrux:

• Mutations, such as but not limited to, conjoined twins, albinism, heterochromia, and dwarfism, are ridiculoudly common amogst Targaryens. Tyrion has two of those.
• Targaryens are known for their astonishing resistance to conventional diseases, and their obsessions with fire and dragons. Tyrion was untouched by greyscale and the bloody flux, used wildfire to win the Battle of Blackwater, and has been obsessed with dragons all his life.
• Tywin almost never refered to Tyrion as his son. Only that he was a Lannister. Joanna Lannister was Tywin's first cousin, so he wouldn't've been lying by saying that.
• Tywin always had a mean streak, but he had a notable soft spot for his beloved Joanna and his best friend Aerys. The death of Joanna only partially explains his hardening.
• Aerys was repeatedly described as lusting after Joanna. This is a guy who burned lords alive for fun in front of their family members. There's no way he gave a shit about whether a woman he lusted after would consent.
• Aerys put Jamie in the Kingsguard, who serve for life and are barred from having families or inheriting titles. Tyrion being Aerys' son gives him far more reason to do this than he'd have otherwise.
• Aerys was murdered by Tywin Lannister's son, even though the entirety of Westerosi tradition went against him doing this. Though Jamie was completely right to kill the fucker, no one gets away with behavior like that in Martinland without it coming back on them.

GRRM isn't George Lucas. He's a master foreshadower. Every major event in the series has tells, often less tells than he gave to A + J = T.

Your feelings about it are your own (you're still wrong, and I'm still right, but it's yours all the same). But Martin's put these tells in every single one of the Song of Ice and Fire books, and there's no way he did it for a red herring.

 

[Your Weird Fetish]

Occam's Razor will cut most of that to "Tywin's heir is a fucking dwarf and it's humiliating". You don't need any of that to explain anything you listed. Plus Tyrion is pretty inbred anyway. Besides the expected early modern noble inbreeding, Tywin and Joanna were first cousins.

By the way have you ever noticed that Euron and Daario are never in the same place at the same time? Makes you think...

In any case, here's the tier list of Lannister parentage theories:

 

[Truthspeaker]

Occam's Razor will cut most of that to "Tywin's heir is a fucking dwarf and it's humiliating". You don't need any of that to explain anything you listed. Plus Tyrion is pretty inbred anyway. Besides the expected early modern noble inbreeding, Tywin and Joanna were first cousins.

By the way have you ever noticed that Euron and Daario are never in the same place at the same time? Makes you think...

Occam's razor'll also tell you King Robert died in a hunting accident, King Renly was murdered by Brienne of Tarth, King Joffrey was poisoned by his uncle, and King Balon was killed in a tempest.

It's an axiom for solving problems in the natural world. It was never intended to explain politics, espionage, or dramatics. Nor could it possibly be effective for the broad strokes of any of those things.

 

[Your Weird Fetish]

It's also bullshit in a dramatic sense and if GRRM actually did it I'd be mad. I wasn't crazy about Maggy the Frog either honestly. I didn't need a magical prophecy to explain why Cersei hated Tyrion.

 

[Truthspeaker]

It's also bullshit in a dramatic sense and if GRRM actually did it I'd be mad.

How? Because Tyrion wasn't really Tywin's heir?

Sure, Tywin would've known, and his inner circle might've suspected, but the same was true of Ned Stark's Fake Bastard. The difference was that Ned committed to treating Jon like his son as best he could, and Tywin did the opposite. And had Tywin not treated Tyrion like he was Aerys' Son, he wouldn't've been murdered by Aerys' Son.

I wasn't crazy about Maggy the Frog either honestly. I didn't need a magical prophecy to explain why Cersei hated Tyrion.

Cersei heard that prophecy when Tyrion was already three. By which point she'd already spent years hating him for killing her mother. Before he could walk, she pinched his penis 'til he cried for fun.

Good writers have this trick called "adding layers". You should learn about it sometime.

 

[UngaWunga]

Lol applying Occam’s Razor to fantastic fictional settings. That’s like the last panel in a galaxy brain meme about applying Occam’s razor.

 

[Your Weird Fetish]

Good writers have this trick called "adding layers". You should learn about it sometime.

It was useless filler.

But sure whatever, let's go full Dark Shadows supernatural soap with this shit. Who's the secret Targ? The answer: Everyone BUT Jon. Who is obviously Ned and Lyanna's bastard. Why do you think Ned was so soft on Cersei?

 

[Marissa Moira]

Cersei actually has an unborn baby lodged in her stomach that calcified and hybernated from a pregnancy she didn't realize she had. That baby is the real heir and upon her near death and she's escaping wounded, the baby goes full Jonas Jr. and rips itself out of her stomach and runs away.

That baby is also the new night king.

 

[Mike Hunt]

While part of me is glad the WW plot won't resolve the battle for the throne with a nice little bow by killing everyone off, damn that was disappointing.

Especially after seeing how Endgame dealt with a massive villain threat.

This is probably what made the latest episode's problems more glaring. It came right on the heels of Endgame which has a well-written villain and plot, time travel holes aside.

 

[Spatula]

What if Martin told D&D to write the show like this, just so he can test the audience reaction and rewrite the last 2 books?
Maybe that's why it takes so long for the fat man to release winds of winter, he is rewriting it as we speak.

 

[UngaWunga]

I was thoroughly entertained by the episode, despite some quibbles (Mostly involving lighting and a couple too many reaction shots that made it seem like characters had died) and it got the kind of nerds who spend a lot of time obsessively theorizing over things to the point they come to expect it all angry. A good episode.

The last two episodes are going to lead to an outpouring of nerd rage the likes of which even God has not seen. It's going to be amazing.

 

[John Titor]

I have to say, with all the flaws in the show, I think Tormund makes up for some of them.

So what characters in the books do you wish were on the show? I like Arianne Martell and Arellas/Sarella. Also Balon Swann and Cortnay Penrose.

EDIT: Whoops, forgot Val.

Quaithe, because I wanted to know what her deal was before they ceremoniously forgot she existed.

I don't even think Joss Whedon, at his most burned-out on Buffy or Angel, was ever this bad about phoning it in with the scripts. I don't get it. I'm a total Final Fantasy fangirl and the localization teams for that series, especially XIV, can't stop trying to ape GRRM's style, and yet the actual show based on his books doesn't seem to have any writers capable of doing it. (Yes, I did just say Final fucking Fantasy XIV sounds more like Game of Thrones used to than Game of Thrones does now. I'm as alarmed as you are.) So now when you hear the characters talk, it feels like a "theme park" version of the earlier seasons. Or like some high-fantasy Facebook conversation. Even a couple of my friends who only watch the show casually have noticed it.

A bit of trivia: Have you played Palace of the Dead? The boss there is from another game called Tactics Ogre where the translators deliberately rewrote the dialogue to make it sound more Ice and Fire-ish (both Tactics Ogre and Final Fantasy Tactics were released years before the show).

You aren't wrong, they know how to capture the tone.

 

[darkhorse816]

Cersei actually has an unborn baby lodged in her stomach that calcified and hybernated from a pregnancy she didn't realize she had. That baby is the real heir and upon her near death and she's escaping wounded, the baby goes full Jonas Jr. and rips itself out of her stomach and runs away.

That baby is also the new night king.

This show needs Henchmen 21 and 24 like crazy.

 

[Zersetzung]

Dany has fucking dragons she should have won already. She has an aircraft carrier loaded with bombers in an age where the pike phalanx was the pinnacle of warfare.

But she's an insane retard, oblivious to the Eastern drums she follows unquestioningly, who cannot escape the self-delusional narratives that justify her half-assed cargo cult ideology, kind of like the plastic morons driving all the IRL aircraft carriers. Wow it's like a metaphor maybe

RIP all those banging fucking donks that named their kid "khaleesi"

 

[UngaWunga]

I'm sure the lady who's the product of centuries of incest who's also doing incest is going to use her weapons of mass destruction with tact and restraint and for the good of all.

 

[GeePee]

Who had

Spoiler: SPOILER

the whole Dothraki race

in their deadpool?

funnily enough,the people from Essos are probably thankful for that.

 

[UngaWunga]

At least now even if Winter is still coming, Winterfell has enough horse meat lying around to last them a long time.

 

[GeePee]

So are they going to end up refilling their army with people from the Iron Islands now? Yara went off with the ships so I imagine they are probably going to somehow have her roll in with like 100 ships and an army in a few weeks. Otherwise I don't know where the hell they even get any more people to fight at all at this point. Westeros population has dropped like 90% over the last couple seasons.

there are also Daario and the Second Sons.Dany left them behind to watch over Meeren,but she will have to get all the reserves she needs now...
Also,what happened to Royce?he's been the face of the knights of the Vale for a while but he was completely absent in this episode and we don't know his current status.

 

[Mola Ram]

Also,what happened to Royce?he's been the face of the knights of the Vale for a while but he was completely absent in this episode and we don't know his current status.

 

[Travoltron]

Doomcock summed up my thoughts on the episode pretty well.