Game of Thrones Thread

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Oh man, this episode must have been a real piece of shit if nobody even bothered to comment on it.
 
Nah, just hadn't watched it yet.

It was fine, another 'set shit up' kind of episode, but the Mountain pulling off heads and the Hound doing an Axecop is always cool.
Holy cow I was right in my optimistic rating. Watched it and the previous episode with my friends and I'm actually somewhat flabbergasted at how this all went down. Episode 7 was actually pretty solid for a filler episode, in that the cinematography was fantastic (and they eased up on that blue filter shit for the North) and the things they were setting up seemed good, if a bit rushed. The Arya shit was dumb as fuck because it revolved around a character holding the idiot ball for drama, but hey, maybe they were setting it up for something cool, right? But then episode 8, holy shit. I guess spoilers?

THE GOOD:
The acting is mostly fantastic as always. I would say that its pretty disappointing seeing glaring errors like Arya switching her dominant hand around when they emphasized it in the commentary tracks earlier in the seasons, but whatever, that's just the show being lazy about stupid shit. Regardless of the script, we saw some really nice acting from Jaime and Brienne, and it was great seeing Sandor Clegane getting more screentime. Him teaming up with the Brotherhood seems like an exciting direction and a turning point for his character. The locations and sets remain solid, a significant step up from season 5, and Riverrun looked awesome. The House of Black and White continues to look beautiful, and they even had a pretty neat shot of the ships coming into Mereen which did a good job at establishing how overwhelming the attack would be. Jaime bluffing out Edmure was solid, and it was neat seeing Jaime actually accomplish something besides being a joke character, like he's been for the last two seasons.

THE BAD:
Let's start with Jaime. While I said I enjoyed his bluff of killing Edmure's child, it somewhat falls flat in the execution. While it should be obvious to viewers that Jaime would never launch a baby out of a catapult, we do know that he is still madly in love with Cersei. He didn't come to the Riverlands to accomplish anything, he essentially was sent out on an errand and wants it completed as quickly as possible so he can go back home. Combined with his dismissal from the Kingsguard, this makes his character feel somewhat lost. So, in that regard, it wasn't really an effective bluff and it made him seem like a huge piece of shit yet again.

This gets worse when we actually look at the terms of his negotiation with Brienne. Okay, it was a nice reunion scene and I enjoyed him parting with the sword, but are we really expected to accept that Jaime would be okay with a rebel army marching North to join with a rebel's forces? Keep in mind that at this point, the Lannisters are opposed to Sansa Stark and are (as last we heard) opposed to the Boltons as well. This obviously does not happen, but that Jaime would agree to these terms is ludicrous and just makes him seem like a shortsighted idiot who wants to return to Cersei. Is that really all his character is anymore? Boring.

Then we have Blackfish go from AS LONG AS I'M ALIVE THIS WAR ISN'T OVER to LOL FUCK MY FAMILY I'D RATHER KILL SOME OF MY OWN MEN THEN HELP LATERS, which is just embarrassing. I think that is partly why they didn't end up showing the fight, because it would have looked awkward as fuck. Brienne then sails away and I actually like the forlorn farewell that she and Jaime share, even if it was super cheesy.

Let's jump to King's Landing, and Qyburn's "rumor". I don't know if the writers of this show are even trying this season, because all of the "mysteries" they're relying on (DUHHHH WHO IS SANSA WRITING THE LETTER TO? WHO IS IN THE TOWER?") are super obvious and even spoiled by the pre and post episode previews. It comes across as a hamfisted way to build suspense in a season that is building towards a formulaic and predictable conclusion. We all know what the rumor is. We know exactly what is going to happen. They only included that moment as a watercooler talking point. Lazy.

Then we have the Mereen scene, where Game of Thrones turns into a Spanish soap opera. Dany enters breathlessly, and everyone basks in her glory. Thank goodness the Unsullied didn't bother to report a dragon sighting, or the Dothraki horde amassing outside the city. We don't even get a shot of Drogon burning the ships.

And can I just say how fucking awful Peter Dinklage has been this season? Remember how wonderful season 2's political intrigue was? Remember the fun of him figuring out which advisors were reporting to Cersei and all his scheming and plotting to keep the city safe? Nope, we get a 5 minute scene of him drinking and joking, because we haven't already had that multiple times this season. We saw him do one cool thing this season (negotiating with the slavers) which turns out to be a total waste of time because lol, we have to have villains for Dany to beat! So the slavers show up and Grey Worm (who seems to be getting worse and worse at speaking English every season, holy shit knock that shit off D&D) blames Tyrion for all of this? What the fuck? Pretty sure the slavers would have attacked anyways because hey, Dany is fucking gone and the dragons are locked up/gone too. Varys had the right idea to eject himself from this plotline.

And finally we have Arya versus the Terminator. So after walking around completely out of character in episode 7 in order to get stabbed, we find out that the actress she spared has magic anime bandages that can cure severe stab wounds and treat infections from the fall into the canal. This stems back my issue with Sansa and Theon crossing the frozen river in episode 1. Just because its a fantasy show doesn't mean you can break the rules of reality. It turns the show into a cartoon when characters just plow through that shit like nothing.

We have a chase scene that goes on for far too long that uses no facechanging or interesting stunts, just goofy running through streets filled with Braavosi assholes because milk of the poppy gives people super recovery powers, bleeding out be damned. The Waif, to be fair, is a cocky fuck who wants Arya to die painfully, so I can excuse this sloppy chase mess as fitting with her character. But that's actually kind of shit too, since it contradicts what we learned in season 5. Do you remember when "Jaqen" drank the poison, and Arya turned around to see the Waif wearing Jaqen's face? That was meant to show that these people really are faceless men. There was no Jaqen, no Waif. These are faces they're wearing. But nope, in season 6 we're back to Jaqen being a character who has a fondness for Arya and the Waif being a character who hates Arya. This is so glaringly obvious that I can only imagine, much like Dorne, they ended up scrapping a plotline that they were having difficulty with.

So we finally get to the conclusion and its Arya fighting in the dark. Cool, that's fitting. I was personally hoping for Arya to prove that she had mastered the lying game and was luring the Waif down to a place where she could ambush her. For example, blood on the wall leading her to believe Arya was far more fucked up than she was, her struggling to stand and falling to her knees while the Waif approaches, only for her to reveal the hidden Needle and stab that shit assassin. It would have been a nice conclusion to her arc because she started out so garbage at lying, but hey, I'm okay with her showing she can fight in the dark. But this just makes her getting stabbed seem even lamer, since that was clearly her just being dumb. If this is supposed to be Arya after her training is complete, she's failing to impress.

Finally we have the return to Jaqun, and apparently he's cool with it all. He smirks knowingly and says to Arya (a girl still holding the sword that she was told to give up as it means a special thing to her) that she is no-one, and Arya calls him out on his bullshit saying that she is Arya Stark. He smirks even wider and nods, probably to save his own life since the Faceless Men are fucking failures who can't accomplish a single assassination mission properly in two seasons.

So why was Jaqen cool to let her go back home? Was he just happy to be rid of two failed acolytes? Was he just happy to not be stabbed? Are we supposed to believe that this was his plan all along, this convoluted Naruto-tier training arc concluding with Arya just leaving to go back to Westeros, with the secrets of the Faceless Men? She didn't even take the Waif's face with her! Combined with the previous episode featuring Arya's complete failure at reading the crowd, this just comes across as a totally unsatisfying conclusion. I feel that, much like Theon suddenly abandoning Sansa in order to go back to the Iron Islands, Arya is just going through the motions to reach some contrived plot point that will feel completely unnatural if you look at the previous four seasons of character development.

So really, that's it. Cool Hound stuff. Acceptable King's Landing stuff, especially finally seeing Robert Strong action (spoiled in the previews, though). Some neat Riverlands stuff, albeit rushed. Blackfish sucked. It was weird Edmure would care about a baby he never saw and a wife he fucked once who was part of the eradication of his loved ones, but hey, whatever, she was cute. I'm okay with that stuff. Awful Mereen stuff, fucking awful Tyrion/Greyworm/Missandei stuff. God only help us if Theon and Yara arrive in Mereen, because its going to be nothing but LOL NO DICK jokes. Terribly disappointing Braavos stuff.

I guess I'm left wondering what the point is? I haven't even watched all this season, but I know the battle will be Ramsey versus Jon. Jon will be losing and then Littlefinger shows up to save the day. We know this because of the letter Sansa wrote. Compare that the Blackwater's setup and payoff and it comes across as shockingly sloppy and lazy. They're probably going to rely on SHOCKING subject matter such as characters getting killed off, like the first half of the season. If I had to place bets, Wun Wun and Ghost are probably going to die because the eat at the budget and because they're audience favorites. Rickon is going to die because OMG RAMSEY IS SO EDGY, that hasn't gotten old at all. Maybe Davos will stab Melisandre because they spoiled him finding the pyre they used to burn Shireen in the preview, but Davos is a total mess of a character now so who knows.

I'm left wondering what characters I'm interested in anymore, and I guess the answer is Bran. His storyline seems the least crippled by bad writing, no pun intended, and I'm curious about the mysteries behind Benjen and the White Walkers, and how Bran is to play a part in all of that. Everything else is incredibly predictable and forced. There have been zero twists this season, with the focus going towards shock killings in what must be an effort to thin the cast.

It was better than the first episode of the season, but not by much. Now feel free to give me all those autistic ratings and tell me that if I don't like it, don't watch it.
 
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Didn't Littlefinger say to Cersei 'Stay out of the Stark/Bolton slapfight and let them finish each other off' a few episodes ago?
Which goes against Cersei's character to not want nutso vengence on Sansa, one of the people she blames for Joff's death (another reason why the Dorne storyline is such garbage), but that's a fair point. The problem is that by allowing the Tully forces to go north, Jaime would have provided those Stark rebels with more forces and caused an even bigger mess. Once the Boltons (or Starks) were destroyed, the North would be unified and mounting an offensive against the North in winter is a bananas proposition. I mean, I get that this plan was immediately dropped off the table and they captured the castle, but it seems ridiculous that Jaime would even entertain such an idea.

I get that none of this really matters to Littlefinger's plan, because he's playing Cersei like a fool and would actually love the Tully forces to help Sansa weaken the Boltons. So the Tully's going north would be great for him. But in King's Landing all fucking hell would break loose. It would basically be a big flashing sign of BWOOP BWOOP LITTLEFINGER'S A TRAITOR FOR ALLOWING THE TULLY'S TO BYPASS MOAT CAILIN TO JOIN THE REBEL STARKS and would instantly show his true colors towards the Lannister forces.

There's also the issue of what exactly Littlefinger is planing to do once he cleans up the mess, since he's going to be committing treason if he disobeys Cersei and doesn't give Sansa back/have her killed. But I guess he read the script and realized he doesn't have to worry about that, thanks to the events coming up in the next two episodes.
 
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Which goes against Cersei's character to not want nutso vengence on Sansa, one of the people she blames for Joff's death (another reason why the Dorne storyline is such garbage), but that's a fair point. The problem is that by allowing the Tully forces to go north, Jaime would have provided those Stark rebels with more forces and caused an even bigger mess. Once the Boltons (or Starks) were destroyed, the North would be unified and mounting an offensive against the North in winter is a bananas proposition. I mean, I get that this plan was immediately dropped off the table and they captured the castle, but it seems ridiculous that Jaime would even entertain such an idea.

I get that none of this really matters to Littlefinger's plan, because he's playing Cersei like a fool and would actually love the Tully forces to help Sansa weaken the Boltons. So the Tully's going north would be great for him. But in King's Landing all fucking hell would break loose. It would basically be a big flashing sign of BWOOP BWOOP LITTLEFINGER'S A TRAITOR FOR ALLOWING THE TULLY'S TO BYPASS MOAT CAILIN TO JOIN THE REBEL STARKS and would instantly show his true colors towards the Lannister forces.

There's also the issue of what exactly Littlefinger is planing to do once he cleans up the mess, since he's going to be committing treason if he disobeys Cersei and doesn't give Sansa back/have her killed. But I guess he read the script and realized he doesn't have to worry about that, thanks to the events coming up in the next two episodes.

I'm thinking Littlefinger's just thinking with his dick and is wanting some Sansa poon seeing as he can no longer get at Catelyn's.

Also, what does Littlefinger have to do with Moat Cailin? He's in The Vale, and anything they do can be written off as Robin getting involved in the fray.
 
I'm thinking Littlefinger's just thinking with his dick and is wanting some Sansa poon seeing as he can no longer get at Catelyn's.

Also, what does Littlefinger have to do with Moat Cailin? He's in The Vale, and anything they do can be written off as Robin getting involved in the fray.
They mention very quickly that the Boltons lost Moat Cailin in an earlier episode this season. I'm blanking at the moment but its an extremly quick line that is glossed over. There is only one force currently capable of capturing Moat Cailin and that's Littlefinger, meaning he's in a great position to ride up Ramsey's asshole.

And so you guys have something else to laugh at aside from me sperging hard, here's a gem from earlier:
image.jpg


Edit: Littlefinger confirms he has Moat Cailin in episode 5
 
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They mention very quickly that the Boltons lost Moat Cailin in an earlier episode this season. I'm blanking at the moment but its an extremly quick line that is glossed over. There is only one force currently capable of capturing Moat Cailin and that's Littlefinger, meaning he's in a great position to ride up Ramsey's asshole.

And so you guys have something else to laugh at aside from me sperging hard, here's a gem from earlier:
View attachment 103903

Goddamn Leslie Jones is really trying to piss nerds off!
 
Probably the best episode of the season, which isn't really a compliment.
The Good:
Some beautiful shots. Even though the preview spoiled Davos finding the pyre (who cares, since that shit was obvious anyways), the sunrise behind him was gorgeous. They obviously tried harder on the Dany stuff to make her stuff not look like complete shit, like in S5E9. Even ignoring the action stuff, the dragons are visually fantastic, and I love seeing them all together again. Some fun dragon action for people, some fun regular action for people. The first half of the Battle of Winterfell is pretty excellent, and I love little 'twist' of Jon saying Ramsey will come at them full tilt ending up being something he does instead.

Carice van Houten was excellent, it was fun to see her again and she really did a nice job at displaying a faith that was shaken but not broken. Kitt Harington has also seriously stepped up his game, and he really sold all the scenes he was in.

Wun Wun smashing the gate and then roaring as he fell to his knees with the men pouring in around him, fighting and dying. What a visual spectacle!

The Bad:
Everything about Mereen felt disjointed and weird. I don't know why the slavers suddenly forgot that Dany had dragons after she flew in on one the previous night, or why they would want to stop and negotiate peace with her when they could just keep attacking. You think killing the dragons would be their number one priority but whatever, gotta have an action scene. Dany remains a dull presence with no character arc or charisma, and I think this is captured by her dopey expression when flying around on Drogon. I hope she has Tyrion help her make a saddle and harness soon because seeing her on Drogon's back as he swoops around looks super shitty.

Then we have a bizarre scene with Theon and Yara, where Tyrion reveals he has the thinnest fucking skin around. We get a whole season of him drinking and making cock jokes, and all of a sudden he's having a hissy fit about Theon calling him "Imp" five years ago? I guess you could say we're supposed to assume that Theon was making offscreen jokes that Tyrion overheard, but eh, it just came across as an excuse for Tyrion to be snarky. I'm just grateful we didn't have a scene of him making dick jokes to Theon, because that shit is just pathetic at this point.

None of this dialogue was very interesting, save for Tyrion's comment on the "Iron Fleet". This stood out to me because it reveals that the writers have no fucking idea what is happening with the Iron Islands or what their ship situation is, because Euron just said earlier he was rebuilding the Iron Fleet. Also apparently it only takes a couple months to build ships using the vast, rich forests of the Iron Islands. What a fucking joke; its clear that we're expected to turn our brains off and just accept what the characters are telling us even when it contradicts information we've already been told (a great example of this is Davos claiming that he hadn't seen a demon, despite seeing one in season 2).

Anyways, the real point of this scene was just an excuse to work in Yara and Dany eyefucking each other because this show handles LGBT characters as well as Cersei handled the Faith. Subtlety is thrown out the window and the smirking is nonstop, and we get a hilarious moment when Dany tells Yara that her people better not rape anyone, or else! I wonder what Dany thinks 100k Dothraki will do when they land on Westeros? Awful writing, just awful. We're clearly supposed to be seeing Dany as a badass ruler, but all we're getting is a child with delusions of grandeur.

Speaking of children with delusions of grandeur, holy shit Sansa. She shows up at the war council sulking and then bitches about not being included in anything (despite it being shown that Jon is freely conversing with his advisors and is open to communication), and then has the gall to bitch to Jon about how he's handling stuff? I couldn't laugh hard enough at how quickly she went from WHY DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN TO ME to I DON'T KNOOOOOW, I DON'T KNOW BATTLES! There was zero reason for her not to tell Jon about Littlefinger aside from creating tension for idiots, because they already showed her writing the letter to Littlefinger. This was incredibly lazy and basically killed the tension of the battle, since it was all just waiting for Littlefinger. Every life lost is essentially on Sansa, and while morons may go HURRR THAT WAS THE POINT SHE DIDN'T TRUST JON AND WANTED TO WEAKEN HIS MEN, that's just an excuse for sloppy, shitty writing. Sansa is a bad joke this season.

In terms of the battle itself, it was stupid that Wun Wun didn't have a log or something. It was also stupid that Ghost wasn't present, but hey, gotta save money for the dragons. But what was really stupid was how the Boltons somehow surrounded Jon's forces with shields. Apparently shields are light as fuck in Westeros, because they zoomed around them in 2 seconds flat, conveniently right after Davos and his men had charged in (somehow around/over the corpse wall?). The corpse wall was ridiculous as all fuck, and really Wun Wun should have just smashed through it in two seconds. But the real issue is that this is the part where the camera work breaks down, and we're subjected to cuts every .5 seconds in Baby's First Effort to Show Claustrophobia. Combined with some really ugly snap zooms, this made the second part of the battle just fall apart for me.

Ramsey getting eaten by the dogs is a perfect metaphor for this episode. Sure, its fun to watch, and sure you're like "Yay, take that Ramsey!" But when you use your brain actually think about what is happening, you realize that Sansa wasn't present at the meeting when Ramsey said he hadn't fed his dogs in seven days. So the fun scene (pandering and predictable as it was) completely falls apart at the seams and you're left with a visual spectacle with absolutely no substance, all because of how lazy the writing is.

At this point I'm done. I don't care, you know Cersei is just going to blow up the Sept, and I have zero fucking desire to see another Sam scene ever again. I wish I had actually stuck with my decision to bail on the show after S5E9, but at least I had fun watching it with friends. So if there is something good to take from this post, it is knowing that I will keep my sperging away from these threads and leave you all to enjoy this shallow show in peace.
 
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