Gamergate: The Movie - Unfortunately a real thing being made - Hide the booze so Jaimas doesn’t drink himself to death

Gamergate was an event with no winners and countless losers. Everyone on both sides thought they were the winners of the war for gaming, if the movie would've been about how insignificant gamergate and the drama around it was then this would've been at least competent. But to be fair, a movie by buzzfeed would be tremendously hilarious in it's shittiness and would be worth it to experience ironically.
 
So do we have a betting pool on how much this tanks? Like Mars Needs Moms level or Cutthroat Island level?
 
I think that I have come up with the bones of a plot for a GamerGate film, that deftly sidesteps any potential lawsuits from people, who might wrongly feel that their likeness and experiences have been co-opted:


When l33t, female hax0r, Zaidi Quann (Lena Dunham), uses her coding skills to literally break into the male-dominated videogame industry, she earns herself a powerful enemy in the sardonic form of Milton Theopolis (Macaulay Culkin) - a Catholic-Jew, techno-queer, with a penis-duelling scar on his left cheek.

Armed with the power moves that she learned from watching her male family members playing Street Fighter II, Quann must stand her ground against The Five Guys – a guild of her jealous ex-boyfriends, who have retrained as ninjas. Can she convince her would-be assassins to kill themselves, while also completing work on the text adventure that is to be played in competition at the forthcoming Z Games?

Fortunately Quann is not alone. Fighting by her side is fellow feminist, Amanda Serkissian (a GGI cartoon squirrel, voiced by Nancy Pelosi) who has amassed an encyclopedic knowledge of videogames by reading the spines of XBOX 360 titles in jpegs of GameStops.

The pair are supported by cisgendered, male allies, such as internet soy templar, Joshua Raincoat (Wil Wheaton, in blackface, to meet Academy Awards diversity quotas) and by trans duo, agent Brenda Hu (Danny Trejo) and Sasha Norborg (Nick Nolte) - a pair of men who are attempting to escape the treadmill of videogame development by disguising themselves as women.

We guarantee that you will fall in love with Quann's 200 ton animal sidekick, Rangee harpoon – a performing orca whale at the Ocean Planet theme park (Melissa Mccarthy, Kathy Bates and John Goodman, crammed into a whale suit) who gains formidable programming skills after she swallows the hacker known as 4chan.

Go home gamer girl (because all of the cinemas are closed) and stream the movie that Brie Larson turned down for being too tone deaf. You'll wonder where the budget was spent (mostly on pedigree air dogs and trips to Japan).
 
Why would you cast Ellen Page as a collage student? The bitch looks like she could be someones mo-... well someones aunt I suppose even if she wasn't a muff diver I don't know who'd nutt in that thing.
Isn't Ellen Page supposed to be some sort of Tutor in this movie? I guess it's gonna be the "had to leave college due to some fratboy ex-lover being a sexist dickhead to force her out" plot.

Fuck, now that I wrote that, and based on what we know of this movie already and how it ties into the Gamergate narrative: She's gonna be some skilled gamergirl and some dudebro, possibly her boyfriend, most likely will be into eSports, at some point, she outdoes him or otherwise hurts his fragile ego and in retaliation, he'll do something incredibly fucked up like releasing nude photos he took of her secretly or smear her by accusing her of sleeping around. She'll be forced to leave college and do some shitty job. Protagonist Prodigy Gamergurrrl (henceforth PPGG) will find her and it will be a story about how Ellen Page redeems herself, takes revenge on dudebro and make PPGG into the Usain Bolt of her College's "I can't believe it's not Fortnite" competition. And then they add some shit they stole straight from Moneyball.

And if they are as desperate as I think they are, I expect them to bastardize the whacky Mentor/Pupil training sessions from Karate Kid (and... well... "Cars") so Ellen Page will force PPGG and her possé to do weird, menial shit instead of teaching them how to play (like knitting in the dark or something equally stupid), that makes no sense to PPGG et al. whatsoever, but in their hour of need, they will realize "Those knitting lessons gave my thumbs enough dexterity and swiftness to perfectly use my controller!".
Yes. I expect them to be this fucking creatively bankrupt.
 
Armed with the power moves that she learned from watching her male family members playing Street Fighter II, Quann must stand her ground against The Five Guys – a guild of her jealous ex-boyfriends, who have retrained as ninjas.
They even invented their own martial art: cuck-fu.
 
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I wish I could tell you why games aren't taken as seriously as movies though.
It mainly has to do with the whole perspective on life thing that is super prevalent out west here, and it can be summed up in this term: "Keeping it real". Plus, there's the whole thing about sequential art, even video games, not being as "on par" because their development out west has been massively restricted by censorship while movies and live action TV got a free pass to do whatever the hell they wanted in the late 20th Century. Other things that hit my mind are an objective focus on "believablity", nostalgia for the times when actors and movies used to be big, and a more materialistic and less intrinsic driven mindset even into today. Plus, established corporations and monopoly enterprises want to be on the government's good side, which means playing symbiosis and doing anything that helps further both of their agendas, but of course their own if by only so much.

That's the irony of all this is is that's a disservice to female gamers, saying female gamers can't take a little trash talk as well as any guy, that they can't be amused by sexy female characters and can only feel threated (because sending the message that you should always compare yourself to media images instead of having a strong sense of self worth is totally a good thing) and that they can't simply love video games just because.

But the secret behind all this SJW shit is it's not actually about women and minorities or whatever, it's about mind control, putting it under the guise of helping women and minorities is just the spoonful of sugar for the poison medicine of what it's really all about and that's for the media to have the power to be able to control what you say, what you do and what you think, that's why they can't let Gamergate go, it's one of the first times the conditioning broke down in a big way and they can't have that.

This is what it's always been about is power, the power to control people's minds and the main method for doing so is preying on people's better nature and emotions ("You don't want to be sexist/racist do you? Now buy our product and vote for our candidate.") it's never had diddly squat to do with actually helping people.
Another thing to fit into all of this is this. The big wig movie and live action TV industries are threatened and claim oppression by video games's existence because they threaten their agendas with the more greedy powers that be. How? Imagination. Along with sequential entertainment that mostly succeeded the predecessors like anime and manga, video games showcase how they don't even necessarily need actors and a great degree of manpower to entertain people, and if one could realize that if they study and train hard enough, they can do more creative things than just meet criteria for grunt work or not meet physical capable criteria like being physically fit or aesthetically pleasing, both of which demand birth given traits. Imagination demands people use their brains and hearts on their own voilition and indepedence as their own human being, and whatever agenda's going on right now, it doesn't want us to use either, because it inevitably bleeds over into critical thinking too.

It's not like we don't need TV and movies, we still do. Problem is that there is no want for imagination or creativity and fruitful hard work these days, only money money money. Everything uses shitty CGI, conspicuous use of darkness on set, and shitty warning sirens in their scores these days while hoping to draw upon hot button topics loosely to pull at the general public's heart strings before irrevalently switching into their main scenario and forgetting they ever brought up the hot button topic bait in the first place to not dare to shake things up and get people to question the world, and presenting pretty yes men who will not object to shit for a pretty penny on command. Whomever's in power wants to use their power to tame and shame whatever that does have power beyond their scope until it's able to be molded into their agenda for their own gain. This is why I'm glad Epstein and Weinstein are dead and rotting in hell; outside of child fucking, they've pulled this shit for years.
The Woke Left is fucked. If Trump wins they're fucked for really obvious reasons, but can still pretend to be the REEEEEsistance and tap that outrage. But if Biden wins and the Dems sweep Congress, then they're even more fucked because at that point they're a useless liability.
Greetings, I am a visitor from the future. Biden won.

I can't wait to see the subhuman subculture trash pogroms Yuri Bezmenov spilled the beans about back in the 80s. Shit's gonna be so cash.
This leads to surreal shit like Anne Rice, William Shatner, and Richard Dawkins all supporting GG, not because they have any dog in the fight, but because the Antis antagonized them into telling them to fuck off

:thinking:Is this where Kick Vic got their inspiration from?

All in all though:

Gamergate was an event with no winners and countless losers. Everyone on both sides thought they were the winners of the war for gaming, if the movie would've been about how insignificant gamergate and the drama around it was then this would've been at least competent.
 
Sargon an Apple Bee's employee pitching his idea of a gaymergate movie to Jim, a Hollywood exec:

Hey *chuckles* what if-what if we made a movie about gamergate *chuckles* Jim think about it *chuckles* it'll be super funny. We can get Donald Trump in on this Jim *chuckles*. Think about it. Don't be such a white nigger Jim *chuckles*
 
Greetings, I am a visitor from the future. Biden won.
I failed to take into account the scenario where neither side really got a clear victory. The Woke Left is still fucked in this scenario, though. They absolutely reamed themselves out of a future with their terrorist riots. They are the obvious reason Democrats didn't get anything like a mandate at the polls, despite fighting against a massively unpopular Republican Jimmy Carter loser.
 
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I failed to take into account the scenario where neither side really got a clear victory. The Woke Left is still fucked in this scenario, though. They absolutely reamed themselves out of a future with their terrorist riots. They are the obvious reason Democrats didn't get anything like a mandate at the polls, despite fighting against a massively unpopular Republican Jimmy Carter loser.
I mean, we still have to deal with this bullshit of them refusing to ever let this shit go until anyone gives up out of sheer attrition, and even then, time only proves in the long run who does win or not. I'm honestly surprised that many of the smarmy know it all assholes I met back in the day stuck with Anti-Gamergate myself, and it's laughable that the fake progressives are fighting a cause shallow in motivation by them until they reach the drop point as deep as the ocean.

Again, I await the societal pogroms of the fake progressives who are merely ego posturing to hide the skeletons in their closets. Indeed the far left sabotaged Democrats ever getting a mandate at all- Even I think for Bernie Sanders, he knew what was up and doesn't have the patience to deal with their bullshit. Despite all of the dirt and flipsides I've heard, Bernie is not the kind of candidate their kind deserves at all for America, until they prove they do, and even then, I don't believe he'll ever run for president in their lifetimes. Even so, the breads and circuses must be delivered, and it will make for good setup before the assclowns get shoved against the wall metaphorically.

If there was anything to lose, I'd say their attitude turned away many aspiring devs and video game creators for a good while, until probably their likes are put back into the muckheaps they came from. I know I dodged a bullet.
 
If only someone tells that beta cuck Frank Cifaldi that GamerGate was 6 years ago and he'll never get laid for white knighting.
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"He" is no longer involved and was replaced by Ruby Rose.

Oh god no this unprofessional bulldyke. Can't wait for her scene where she breaks down from the threats
She does the Gal Gadot method of crying without tears.
She's a cardboard actor
 
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