A
AP 297
Guest
kiwifarms.net
Glaive was demodded because I can't trust him. Wizardchan is a good example of why I can't trust him.
Do you know why Glaive was modded to begin with? He came over to the forum to defend his community and talk to us about how Wizardchan was a fun place filled with friends that was distinct from lust. He pitched it as a sexless community for both men and women who are virgins and more concerned with hobbies, work, and money. The defining feature of Wizardchan, he said, wasn't that you had to be a male virgin who hated women, you just had to be a virgin who knew feels and liked work. When he came to the then-CWCki Forums to pitch this idea to take heat off his friends, it worked. He naturally gained off-topic access and became the first Wizard allowed into the club, and his sheepish and lurking presence crept into something louder and more friendly. It eventually ended up in him shocking people with his photos. Everyone expected him to be gross, but he was cute.
This made it all the more gutwrenching when Anachronos de-admined him in 2014 for being a part of his community. Glaive was distraught at being "exiled" by his former friends on Wizardchan just for coming over here and making the case that they weren't gross basement dwelling losers like we thought they were. To us, he had been suddenly and inexorably cast out of a warm circle of friends for little reason and so I made him mod to cheer him up. He had community experience, he was amazingly easy to love, and he was technically competent. He understood the concept of lolcows and was a long-time Chris fan so there was no reason not to.
And then I get shit like this.
I don't like knowing people. Do you think I like knowing you fucking assholes? No, I don't. I do it because it's a necessity. I have servers I play with and line graphs to fill up with new members and the means and modes of this equation are fucking nothing to me. I told you in 2013 this is a game to me, I want to see how far I can push this shit over the line. Part of the operation in doing so is having staff that can make decisions without me being there, so fuck me when someone comes along that I actually like and fucks up this system. You know all these people with colored names aren't sycophants, they're people I:
1. Like as a person.
2. Trust to make good calls.
3. Mutually respect, and who respects the community.
That's the reason that since I took over there have been exactly two demotions and one retiree in three years, and of which only Glaive has followed up with a ban. Everybody I promote brings something new to the table that ends up furthering my beautiful line graphs a little more and filling up the servers that now pay for themselves so I have some cool shit to play with. When I get bored of a toy, I build a new toy, and soon all my toys will sync up together and everyone will think they're really fucking cool because I know they are because I built them and fuck you. This how I occupy my thankless fucking days in between birth and death and the only time I catch feelings is when you motherfuckers get in my way.
When Glaive tells me that he didn't care about Wizardchan and only did it to harass "lifeless losers", he's either telling me that he lied about the grief he felt when I initially modded him, or he's lying to me then to seem cooler. Either way he is fucking with me and I don't trust him. Keep in mind he was an administrator, meaning he had access to everything this server contained. All your email addresses, your encrypted passwords, usernames, username history, private messages, all that shit was on the server and he had direct access to it. It would be incredibly naive of me to let someone bragging about deliberately manipulating an entire community for fun to have that kind of system control. All that trust and respect I had for him over two fucking years immediately evaporated because he went out of his way to be as much of a nuisance and threat to me as possible.
Now I know Dynastia supported my decision to de-admin him, which is fair, but you criticize me for banning him. Immediately after he wad de-admined he began bragging about a competitor site and was talking about what domain names to buy in chat to fuck over the forum, and (by extension) my beautiful line graphs. I told Glaive the week before that I felt he was about to break off and that it worried me, and that if he did so he would probably be the only person capable of operating a successful splinter site. If a significant portion of the community did leave to go with him, I probably wouldn't even bother to compete and would just shut it down and send all traffic his way to get rid of my responsibilities on an unsuccessful site. Glaive has the money and free time to do whatever he wants. His new job provides him with unlimited access to hardware and a lot of desk time with nothing to do. He could easily, easily take the community away and host it himself. I don't pretend to think I have more friends here than Glaive. I've been told for three years my presence is an unwelcomed burden, and that if you swapped me out with any other working part the community would be better off because of it. So if you were waiting for that, here comes Herr Glaive to sweep you off your feet.
That's why I banned him. I had to get rid of him because I know he'd sit in chat every day for his entire work week doing his best to piss me off as revenge for his drama thread, passively advertising his competitor site in private and over Skype. If I didn't get rid of him then, it would continue to blow up. This was his modus operandi, a slow death of atrophy. So before you fucking wag your finger at me and criticize it as a rash, emotional decision, know that we had fully discussed the ramifications of a Glaive de-admin situation together weeks before it happened.
Now you can backtrack and say, "but Null, if only you hadn't of bloodlet!" -- Yea no shit, and if only Glaive hadn't attacked other users at the request of Snakes. Dynastia criticizes me for spinning some web of lies about her, but the proof is in the original fucking thread. A 20 reply conversation chain with some innocent sweet as fuck girl who didn't do shit, all because this woman asked Glaive to. Glaive goes out of his way to document everything he does, but for some reason this particular encounter with the other girl went unmentioned. Not a fucking peep from either of them until months after the fact when I'm trying to unravel what happened to Deagle Nation. Then I find out, "oh by the way Snakes had this kid by the balls so tight he was fucking with other people by request". How do you think I feel knowing that one of the people I trust the most fucked with someone else I like like that? She was so fucking battered by this encounter she didn't even tell anyone else.
And then you can say, "de-admin him on the spot and work it out from there". I believed in Glaive. I had absolute fucking confidence in him being able to hurdle over the obstacle of a little embarrassment. Fucking hell, I do it on a routine basis. I thought for sure that Glaive would take his scolding like a man, recognize that he is not allowed to berate other users like that, and learn from it. I had been told by multiple people that "Glaive is mad at you", but I thought that was a misinterpretation. We still talked every month about shit going on on the forum and in our lives, he'd show me pictures of his trips and beer and all sorts of shit. I assumed he had done exactly that, let it fucking go. Exactly what I wanted. I thought I had gotten away with bloodletting and accomplished everything I set out to do while retaining the only person I cared to keep. Then this happens. The dude gets his dick wet with some dangerhair cunt and the very same week starts acting like king of the fucking world, insulting me every day after months of being chill as shit.
When I say I accomplished exactly what I set out to do with that thread, I mean it. This isn't my "cool sociopath facade", this is reality. I wanted to expose the drama and amputate it. The fact that Glaive is now a part of the culling is not unanticipated, rather disappointing. By this point I expected him to be over it or gone.
There's my horrible evil angry tween retelling of history, @Dynastia. Make of it what you will.
That is a lie and sadly the one you are lying to the most is yourself. You care about the people here and it shows in the passion in your work and the occasional times you respond to things. I refuse to believe that you don't care about anyone. Null the more you say this the more obvious it is that you are severely hurt right now. Please just own it and learn from it.
Everything Dynastia is saying is true. Your staff members have told you this as well. You would not put this much work into a site for lifeless graphs. You do it because you love having this place around you. You love having these people around you.
You were given the infinity project because people believed in you. We put our faith in you and you have met your guide posts. A lot of people could have done the project, but people believed in you. They believed in your person and your character, not your fucking graphs.
Perhaps it is your curse as a prodigy to have lackluster emotional maturity, but it does not need to determine everything you are like this.
You contacted Jace after his accident because you were concerned about him. Tried fruitlessly to steer Gabe Navarro off the site. Organized help for Chris after the fire. Established rules meant to prevent things like the Shaner mess from happening. These are not the acts of a person concerned with graphs. These are the acts of a person with a conscience.
I really wish you could just stop hiding yourself away. It really hurts everyone. Especially you.
Glaive meant a lot to us. I have no idea why he said those things about wizardchan, but if I had to make a guess - he was likely emulating someone - my guess is you Null.