Grammar and language issues that drive you utterly berserk - Pet peeves

[AnOminous]

"Would of" and "could of".

Psuedo-phoenetic spelling of simple everyday phrases really bugs me. I think it indicates most people don't really know how to spell and don't care, but I never realized before the Internet came along because I didn't have to communicate with them in writing.

We need AI filters to exterminate these retards so you can't even see what they say. If they do this particular thing, they just need to fucking DIE.

 

[Magnum Magazine]

"Apparently", meaning supposedly or seemingly. It's almost like it's used in this weird ironic way when something isn't apparent (obvious).

"Apparently, he never said that."

 

[Mr.Miyagi]

I'm willing to forgive most errors, if done once or only occasionally, especially in spoken rather than written language. But part of my previous work involved doing some copy editing, and it really opened my eyes to just how little people care. They just do not give a shit. Even in published works or products, beyond your standard emails or text messages. They just type whatever they think is right, and they hope spellcheck and autocorrect does the rest. Which, of course, "fixes" typos by changing them to completely different words, but people won't ever bother to look over their writing before hitting "submit." I don't even mean more complex questions of grammar or edge cases, I mean simple stuff like "its" and "it's."

Ever since that job, seeing simple errors in products like games just annoys me to no end. You make a typo on a forum post? Whatever. You fuck up every tooltip in a game and have "you're" instead of "your"? Fuck you. It's somewhat understandable if the devs are ESLs, but it just reeks of being lazy. Spend five minutes reading your localization text aloud, and you'll catch 99% of these mistakes easily.

 

[Dr. Sexbot]

My pet peeve? People who have more than one "pet peeve." E.g. "one of my pet peeves is..."

No, motherfucker. It's your pet peeve. You only get one. It's the shitty apple of your eye. The rest are just peeves. You're not a goddamn linguistic animal hoarder.

 

[KeepHopeAlive]

Trying to teach kids this

 

[Magnum Magazine]

I don't even mean more complex questions of grammar or edge cases, I mean simple stuff like "its" and "it's."

I'm completely fine with people swapping "its" and "it's" because its fucking gay. 's for every other possessive but not for "its" because 's is already taken for "it is". Yeah fuck off that's stupid.

 

[AnOminous]

Irregardless

I refuse to believe in the existence of this so-called word.

 

[Magnum Magazine]

I refuse to believe in the existence of this so-called word.

I'm pretty sure it's a confusion with irrespective, often synonymous with regardless.

 

[millais]

People thinking that "bemused" is an acceptable substitute for "amused". It's not: "bemused" is synonymous with "confused". It's such a common error that I have seen it appear in professionally published literature and media that has definitely been reviewed by an editor at some point.

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

Just about anything that comes from the mouth or fingers of Gen Alpha, all of it, not a syllable of it is right

 

[beautiful person]

"Would of" and "could of".

I think this is the one that pisses me off the absolute most, because it illustrates just how lazy people are, in that they'll write something down purely based on how it sounds, rather than take a split second to think about the mechanics of the sentence. Sure, it sounds like "should of," but that's because you're actually saying "should've" as in, "should have." "Should have" makes actual sense, whereas "should of," "could of," "would of," etc., are never going to make sense on the most basic grammatical level.

The other ones listed usually only mildly annoy me, kind of like how tripping on a small rock annoys me, unless I notice I've made one of those mistakes. Then it pisses me off. Especially when I fuck up "it's" versus "its," because I usually like to consider myself clever for actually knowing which one is the correct one to use. But I only like to consider myself clever for that, because "it's" versus "its" is one the few common grammar mistakes that I can actually understand people making, because the proper way seems almost ass-backwards.

Idk, I get really autistic thinking about this stuff.

 

[Pierre D'Olnique]

The classic, "it's" as a possessive. I only needed to have it pointed out to me once, and now I avoid it like the plague.

 

[Dilligaff]

People using "exasperate" when they mean "exacerbate" makes me throw things. The first means to irritate and frustrate someone intensely and the second means to make things worse. So I get exasperated when people exacerbate the problem each time the words are misused.

 

[BirdUp]

separating two dependent clauses with a comma
placing a comma before a subordinating conjunction
setting off essential information with a comma

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

Instead of saying "for", when people say "fir". I caught myself starting to do this and beat it out of myself.

Don't forget "warsh" instead of "wash".

"Pin" instead of "pen".

This may be the wrong thread for this; but, when people say "speak -insert name-" because they do not understand the words you're using. Instead of asking you to explain, they demand you lower yourself.

 

[Flatline]

Using "unironically" when "seriously" is sufficient. Pure chanspeak brain rot.

 

[Friendly Primarina]

I'm completely fine with people swapping "its" and "it's" because its fucking gay. 's for every other possessive but not for "its" because 's is already taken for "it is". Yeah fuck off that's stupid.

"It" is a pronoun. No rules are broken because no other possessive pronoun is spelled with a 's. Interestingly, according to Wiktionary "it's" was the original possessive. It replaced Old English "his." As much as non-native speakers complain about English being inconsistent, this is a rare case of English becoming more consistent - 's is for nouns and nouns only i.e. not pronouns.

 

[The Last Stand]

"It" is a pronoun.

Speaking of which, I hate it people unnecessarily highlight "their pronouns" on their bios or resumes. It gives me an impression that I do not understand how pronouns works. On that note, the joke of "my pronouns are X, Y, Z" is as stupid because they're using terms that AREN'T EVEN PRONOUNS.

 

[AnOminous]

People thinking that "bemused" is an acceptable substitute for "amused". It's not: "bemused" is synonymous with "confused". It's such a common error that I have seen it appear in professionally published literature and media that has definitely been reviewed by an editor at some point.

This one really pisses me off because you sometimes see otherwise intelligent people doing it. A lot of these, while I hate them, are things that are at least somewhat useful, because it's retards who think they're smarter than they are who do them, so when you see someone doing them, you know to lower your estimation of their intelligence.

 

[kvas]

"give me it" instead of "give it to me"