Grammar and language issues that drive you utterly berserk - Pet peeves

[Neurotypical Mantis]

newkyular

 

[Sugriva]

I hate when people speak Spanish. Maddening. Just use English like a normal person!

 

[Womble of Wimbledon]

Two that seem to occur around me all the time:

Using 'his' instead of 'he's', eg. "His going to be there" or "I think his sick". What the fuck, how can you not know that's incorrect?

and

Using 'brought' instead of 'bought', eg. "I brought my groceries at that supermarket". The people who do this use brought in its proper context too, but the word bought is not in their vocabulary.

The fact that these errors are perpetrated by so many people just blows my mind!

 

[Active User]

Using 'his' instead of 'he's', eg. "His going to be there"

Unless this is being typed, it feels like something that's probably more accent/speaking quickly than the person deliberately swapping his for he's.

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

Using 'his' instead of 'he's', eg. "His going to be there" or "I think his sick". What the fuck, how can you not know that's incorrect?

No idea where you're hearing this. Perhaps it's an accent? People from West Virginia say some fucked up shit like "Pin" instead of "Pen".

 

[Womble of Wimbledon]

Unless this is being typed, it feels like something that's probably more accent/speaking quickly than the person deliberately swapping his for he's.

No idea where you're hearing this. Perhaps it's an accent? People from West Virginia say some fucked up shit like "Pin" instead of "Pen".

Always typed. Unbelievable, I know.

 

[Flatline]

What's an easy, memorable rule for using semicolons?

 

[AnOminous]

What's an easy, memorable rule for using semicolons?

If I feel like it. Actually, if there is a rule, it's something like the parts being independent, i.e. could these two have been separate sentences? However, the sentences need to be closely related enough that they reasonably constitute a single sentence. That, or it's to separate elements or lists of things which themselves include commas.

Usually, if you could use a semicolon to connect two independent clauses, you could also have connected them with a conjunction like "and" or "therefore" or "because." I think it is essentially a matter of taste; I generally prefer just to use the conjunction.

The exception is obviously when, in the example of lists where the individual elements themselves include commas, it disambiguates between elements of the list where just using commas would be confusing.

Also, peeve. "Basically." But not other people using it. I use this bullshit word way too much. I sometimes go over some post I wrote and am like "wtf why did I say 'basically' five fucking times." Because "basically" (usually) basically means "what comes after this isn't exactly what I meant to say but fuck it I guess it's good enough." It's a lazy cop-out.

When I run across an old post of mine and it is peppered with "basically," I cringe.

 

[BirdUp]

What's an easy, memorable rule for using semicolons?

https://www.thepunctuationguide.com/semicolon.html

Most commonly, the semicolon is used between two independent clauses (i.e., clauses that could stand alone as separate sentences) when a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so) is omitted.

The semicolon is also used between two independent clauses linked by a transitional expression (e.g., accordingly, consequently, for example, nevertheless, so, thus).

 

[Saddam Hussain Obama]

im disintersted in using stupid poser garbage like puncitation

 

[AnOminous]

https://www.thepunctuationguide.com/semicolon.html

Missed the list containing elements that themselves contain commas.

 

[murph]

Actually, if there is a rule, it's something like the parts being independent, i.e. could these two have been separate sentences?

I don't know or remember a general rule, if I'm trying to be fancy, I think of it as a breath or pause.

That's very vague, but I don't mentally think someone's retarded if they misuse it. Sometimes the rules are strange, even to native speakers who try to get their shit straight.

 

[Pedophobe]

What's an easy, memorable rule for using semicolons?

Don't.

 

[deputydogshit2.0]

It pays to be known as someone who can speak decently.

PL incoming.

My family was the victim of a bunch of spoofing texts. One was sent to my daughter. She didn’t fall for it. I asked her how she knew it was bullshit. She told me “the grammar was so bad, I knew there was no way you typed that.”

 

[Overly Serious]

The auto-correct on my phone keeps trying to make me type "won't" instead of "wont". Wont is not short for "Wo not" you stupid fucking machine. Nor is there any means to stop it doing this. I fucking hate the way a few powerful companies now have power to guide the shape of our language.

 

[Baraadmirer]

"Wo not"

Doesn't autocorrect begrudgingly accept a word it doesn't recognise if you choose it enough times?

 

[Flatline]

Don't.

They'll make my writing look smarter.

 

[DDR Yoga]

American butchery of the 3rd conditional.

If he had done it... (correct)

If he would have done it... (hamburger)

 

[Overly Serious]

Doesn't autocorrect begrudgingly accept a word it doesn't recognise if you choose it enough times?

You would think. It did with some words. For example, I have finally got through to it that I will never tell someone to "duck off". But "won't" seems stuck in it as a 'correct' word. So it will accept wont without underlining it as an error, but it still prefers won't and will try to correct to that as well.

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

The auto-correct on my phone keeps trying to make me type "won't" instead of "wont". Wont is not short for "Wo not" you stupid fucking machine. Nor is there any means to stop it doing this. I fucking hate the way a few powerful companies now have power to guide the shape of our language.

Wont is a behaviour. Won't is the contraction of "will not".