Grand Jury speculation thread

[Tits Warrior]

Depending on the type of homeless quite a few have internet access from my experience.

Mostly either an Obama phone (heard they changed the programs name) or any government assistance they spend it on a simple phone plan. You could also get a cheap jail broken and bum out at places with free wifi. Those who do normally aren't on hard drugs and are just down on their luck.

Chris also knows about the local library so unless he's causing problems. He will somehow someway gain access to the internet. Even if he's limited/restricted.

The only govt assisted program requires you to already have monthly service to get a discount on service. It's not free. And most of the people on the street don't have established credit to qualify for monthly service. So they eat the cost 100 percent most times, of buying a new phone that has a pay as you go card renewal plan.

This talk about "Obama phone" and a subsidized govt phone an homeless get for free must be from the other dimension bc it certainly isn't here in the United States

 

[Pickle Inspector]

Even if Chris did manage to survive long enough, and even if he did have an (arranged) marriage, and even if his wife was as ugly and awful as he is, he'd still be cucked to the moon and back.

Given Chris’s naivety and later sexual perversions maybe his parents would try and get Chris in some religious order where he could do menial work and the strict structured living might agree with him?

 

[A-№1]

Either a pair of shoes and a baccy pouch, or else an extremely suspect pork pie.

I was thinking more about the aboriginal Australians.

Homeless Chris would have to walk everywhere unless he somehow gets a car. That would probably limit him more than the bannings he currently has.

You can get a brand new <50cc chinese vespa knockoff for about $500. If weens can afford "some lego", they can afford that for Chris.

This talk about "Obama phone" and a subsidized govt phone an homeless get for free must be from the other dimension bc it certainly isn't here in the United States

Assurance Wireless

Given Chris’s naivety and later sexual perversions maybe his parents would try and get Chris in some religious order where he could do menial work and the strict structured living might agree with him?

Like the Benedictines or Cistercians? Chris would only qualify as a lay brother and would soon be cast out for laziness. He might make it as a mendicant friar, but that's basically homelessness with better marketing.

He might make a good anchorite, now that I think about it. Just wall him up somewhere and shove the occasional food or "some lego" through the hole.

 

[Jack Awful]

You can get a brand new <50cc chinese vespa knockoff for about $500. If weens can afford "some lego", they can afford that for Chris.

I don't trust Chris's ability to drive a Vespa.

 

[A-№1]

I don't trust Chris's ability to drive a Vespa.

Neither do I. What's your point?

 

[Ophelia]

Given Chris’s naivety and later sexual perversions maybe his parents would try and get Chris in some religious order where he could do menial work and the strict structured living might agree with him?

Chris raised by monks could have been interesting. But it would go like most What Ifs about Chris raised by anyone other than B&B: Without them patting his ass, blowing up his ego, and enabling his laziness, he would still be stupid and autistic, but he would probably be more pleasant and maybe less lazy.

You can get a brand new <50cc chinese vespa knockoff for about $500. If weens can afford "some lego", they can afford that for Chris.

I like the thought of weens wasting money and the thought of Chris having this means of conveyance without being able to use it due to his stubbornness and stupidity.

I don’t like the thought of him figuring it out and possibly hurting people.

 

[A Grey Cat]

The prosecution and defense meet in court, Chris stays in jail for the hearing being represented by heilburg as they meet and determine without felony charges to move the case out of family court, they'll have no choice but to release Chris on the first.

His only consequences being whatever legal and court costs they can get out of him, possible court ordered therapy, a possible restraining order to keep him away from Barb, but ironically no sor. Not out of sympathy but rather because they know he'll fail at following the requirements for it and end up back in jail anyways.

Chris will meet with hielburg in jail, be told they avoided felony charges and he'll plead guilty. (despite Chris's protests that he's not guilty) The plea deal will include everything mentioned, Chris will reluctantly agree to the terms, be given his clothes and possessions taken off him when he arrested and bus fare back to town.

Where it goes from there remains to be seen, but if the courts order another epo or restraining order that keeps him from going back to Barb and 14 branchland then the long awaited homeless saga could begin.

 

[Exceptional Chimp]

Where it goes from there remains to be seen, but if the courts order another epo or restraining order that keeps him from going back to Barb and 14 branchland then the long awaited homeless saga could begin.

No mortal protective order will keep the Goddess from the autistic Soul Bonding schedule so it'll be right back to the clink for Chris.

If they can't get him to voluntarily spend his tugboat on tardhouse room and board after one year they'll have to send him to big boy court with a felony charge. Releasing him to rape his mother again will have political consequences.

 

[Ser Ciappelletto]

I was thinking more about the aboriginal Australians.

Chris would have died of thirst and hunger on his Walkabout after drinking his own semen to stay hydrated.

 

[A Grey Cat]

No mortal protective order will keep the Goddess from the autistic Soul Bonding schedule so it'll be right back to the clink for Chris.

If they can't get him to voluntarily spend his tugboat on tardhouse room and board after one year they'll have to send him to big boy court with a felony charge. Releasing him to rape his mother again will have political consequences.

Would "slipping the owners of some cheap motel a couple hundred a month," for an extended stay count as " tardhouse room and board?"

 

[Exceptional Chimp]

Would "slipping the owners of some cheap motel a couple hundred a month," for an extended stay count as " tardhouse room and board?"

Only until he needs "some Lego".

 

[Male Idiot]

No mortal protective order will keep the Goddess from the autistic Soul Bonding schedule so it'll be right back to the clink for Chris.

If they can't get him to voluntarily spend his tugboat on tardhouse room and board after one year they'll have to send him to big boy court with a felony charge. Releasing him to rape his mother again will have political consequences.

Doubt they would make a political spectacle out of it, but this will likely end with Chris being at the Sonichu temple. With Barb dead or alive, until he is dragged out and its demolished or he is locked up for good.

 

[A-№1]

I like the thought of weens wasting money and the thought of Chris having this means of conveyance without being able to use it due to his stubbornness and stupidity.

Also the fact that it will likely break down in two weeks even if Chris did try to maintain it (he won't) and cost more to get running again than was originally paid for it.

Beyond that, you know he's going to decorate it with magic stickers and shit. Once it breaks down, buy it off him with "some lego" and sell it on to weens at a tidy profit.

I don’t like the thought of him figuring it out and possibly hurting people.

How about this thought? He is far, far less likely to hurt someone while on a scooter than if he somehow gets a car.

Chris would have died of thirst and hunger on his Walkabout after drinking his own semen to stay hydrated.

I think the dingoes would get him first.

slipping the owners of some cheap motel a couple hundred a month,

The fleabag motels that take in indigents like Chris charge a hell of a lot more than that.

this will likely end with Chris being at the Sonichu temple.

How, exactly, do you think that's going to happen?

 

[Ophelia]

How about this thought? He is far, far less likely to hurt someone while on a scooter than if he somehow gets a car.

He shouldn’t be operating any kind of vehicle. Chris in a sped home with weekly supervised trips in a van to get groceries is the happy ending.

 

[the khat quaffer]

have you not seen the videos, just hearing him speak you know he's a tard. these is no way he doesn't get diagnosised, even if he was born to a native american tribe in the 1500s they'd still be like "oh he's a no spirit, his mother was cursed, stay away from him"

Chris in the old timey America would have been basically a neanderthal.

"Unga... Cave-Chris warn of anchuent jerkop prophecy..."

 

[nvrwastetree]

It's the obvious outcome.

Nobody wants to waste time trying Chris, and the court is legally obligated to find a care home for him somewhere if he's convicted (which he will be because hes guilty as hell). They're probably looking for somewhere way the hell out of Greene County so he's someone else's problem the next time he fucks up.

Just send his fatass to the tip of Alaska. Knowing Chris, he wouldn't be able to figure out how to get back to Virginia, nor would he be able to use his phone to ebeg online because there virtually no cell phone service there. It keeps Chris in one place very far away from his mother and the public for a very long time...that is until he figures out how to get to the nearest town.

 

[Josterman]

Just send Chris to baked Alaska‘s house or trailer let him deal with him

 

[A-№1]

He shouldn’t be operating any kind of vehicle.

You're one hundred percent correct there. He shouldn't.

But if he does gain access to a vehicle, I'd much rather it be a sub 50cc scooter limited to 35 miles per hour or less (likely much less when pushing Chrischunk's mass around). Even a Prius can be deadly in the wrong hands, i.e. Chris' hands.

However, weens gonna ween. We can't stop that. If one is bound and determined to provide Chris with a vehicle, let it be a vehicle that's far less dangerous to the public than a car. And also one Chris would look really stupid riding.

And before any vespaphiles get their back up, I personally I like the look of classic Vespas, but not with Chris riding one. Also personally, I hope he never gets another vehicle at all, if only for all the potential Uber chimpout videos that would result.

Just send his fatass to the tip of Alaska.

Unfortunately, I believe Greene County is limited to finding him somewhere within the state of Virginia. I'm personally rooting for Accomac. Otherwise they'd have already sent him to therapy from Dr. Greyhound (and Cole would have woken up to a nasty surprise at his door).

 

[anti SJW]

If Chris is just let out, even agreeing to stay away from Barb and 14BC, that's the first place He will go if He doesn't have a tard wrangler assigned to Him. Would the police have a cruiser parked on the street outside 14BC the day Chris is released?

I can also see Chris not wanting to be released because He is used to the jail routine.

 

[YourSistersAss]

You're one hundred percent correct there. He shouldn't.

But if he does gain access to a vehicle, I'd much rather it be a sub 50cc scooter limited to 35 miles per hour or less (likely much less when pushing Chrischunk's mass around). Even a Prius can be deadly in the wrong hands, i.e. Chris' hands.

However, weens gonna ween. We can't stop that. If one is bound and determined to provide Chris with a vehicle, let it be a vehicle that's far less dangerous to the public than a car. And also one Chris would look really stupid riding.

And before any vespaphiles get their back up, I personally I like the look of classic Vespas, but not with Chris riding one. Also personally, I hope he never gets another vehicle at all, if only for all the potential Uber chimpout videos that would result.




Unfortunately, I believe Greene County is limited to finding him somewhere within the state of Virginia. I'm personally rooting for Accomac. Otherwise they'd have already sent him to therapy from Dr. Greyhound (and Cole would have woken up to a nasty surprise at his door).

I, for one, love the idea of Chris tooling down the bike lane on a too-small-for-him scooter with his unicorn horn on and wisps of thinning hair blowing majestically in the oncoming wind. I imagine him wearing a pair of pink tinted motorcycle riding goggles as his gunt, hairy and uncovered by his medium sized MLP t-shirt, jiggles up and down with each pebble he rides over. People honking their horns at the grotesquely fascinating sight of a manchild in kids clothing grinning like he owns the road as he doesnt even attempt to maintain his sputtering douchemobile in the bike lane, and Chris in turn waving at them with a smile, as he deludes himself into genuinely believing that they are either fans of his, or avid supporters of trans rights rooting him on. "Go, you beautiful goddess, you, go!" he imagines them whooping in their cars as they pass by. He sighs contentedly. "Mmmmmmm"
I want to see that dailymotion video.