Grand Jury speculation thread

[A-№1]

have you not seen the videos, just hearing him speak you know he's a tard.

I'm not saying he wouldn't be awful. I'm just saying he wouldn't be as awful if he hadn't been allowed to get away with his bad behavior "because autism".

Chris' stupidity and autism are not the worst things about him.

he would have probably been abandoned outside the village to die as a baby,

Not necessary. I think the wolves would have got him anyways.

i spefically used an example from the 1500s AD

In the 1500s in Europe and Asia he would have made a perfect Village Idiot (which is kind of what he is today for the Online Village). In 16th century Americas it depends on the specific civilization. I like to think the plains tribes would have sent him out on a vision quest and then packed up their tepees and moved on before he found his way back. The Aztecs likely would have eaten him. In Africa the lions would have done the same (or Hyenas or Hippos - it's Africa, take your pick). Fuck knows what the Australians would have made of him.

There are still a few hunter-gatherer societies even today.

What if Chris went to North Sentinel Island?

 

[Pointless Sperg]

What if Chris went to North Sentinel Island?

He'd break the record for person murdered the fastest by the Sentinelese.

Though if Chris were *born* into a hunter gatherer society, he'd never have modern conveniences or mass media to give him a sense of entitlement. He'd still be a frustrated virgin since the girls in the tribe would not want to mate with him, but he wouldn't have mass media with "loser-gets-the-girl" plots to inspire him.

 

[Ophelia]

Though if Chris were *born* into a hunter gatherer society, he'd never have modern conveniences or mass media to give him a sense of entitlement. He'd still be a frustrated virgin since the girls in the tribe would not want to mate with him, but he wouldn't have mass media with "loser-gets-the-girl" plots to inspire him.

Some unfortunate girl might be forced into wifing him in those circumstances. At least Bob would get her goat dowry.

 

[A-№1]

He'd break the record for person murdered the fastest by the Sentinelese.

Assuming he doesn't drown on the reef on the boat ride in.

Does Chris even know how to swim? I know he knows how to float, but then so do logs.

Though if Chris were *born* into a hunter gatherer society, he'd never have modern conveniences or mass media to give him a sense of entitlement. He'd still be a frustrated virgin since the girls in the tribe would not want to mate with him, but he wouldn't have mass media with "loser-gets-the-girl" plots to inspire him.

If Chris were born in a hunter gatherer society, he still wouldn't have ended up a hunter.

But we don't need to go so primitive. There were still village idiots back in the 19th and early 20th centuries. Chris is one of the few people who could have benefited from the poor house system, horrible as it was.

Some unfortunate girl might be forced into wifing him in those circumstances.

People like Chris are why primitive hunter gatherer societies invented polygamy.

 

[GypsyBard]

What are you talking about? There are still a few hunter-gatherer societies even today. Not everywhere got agriculture, and some groups actually lost it. Most of them were on tiny islands or something but the inuit stayed as hunter gatherers until very, very recently. (I guess they're still gatherers since they gather tax money).

Amazing how we went from talking about speculation on the hearing of a autistic mother rapist to a formative debate on hunter-gatherer society

Absolutely fascinating

 

[Cedric_Eff]

Chris’s gonna be listening to the shitty Kanye West song about jail for the next few months huh.

 

[Kramer on the phone]

"But back in the stone age..."

exactly fuck you and whoever is in charge of highlights, i specifically said 1500s native american tribe to avoid that exact thing you dumb piece of shit. how dare you and everyone else on this website pretend i said otherwise. you know 50 years ago we'd have you upside with a fucking fork up your ass

 

[FinnSven]

He'd break the record for person murdered the fastest by the Sentinelese.

Would being killed by them be murder, strictly speaking?

I know they would intend to kill him and make every effort to do so, but his presence on their island would be an undeniable hostile act of aggression from an outside force.

It would be an adequate response to a suspected bioweapon attack.

On reflection, could the plan by the courts be to send him as a missionary to North Sentinel Island?

The delay may be because they are trying to get an exemption from the Indian Government so he can visit there?

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

I like the discussion about the way pre-industrial societies cared for mentally ill and physically disabled children, I'd just like to point out in less civilised parts of the world this sort of thing still happens sadly, in some parts of the world it doesn't even have to be a disability it could just be your sex.

I know they would intend to kill him and make every effort to do so, but his presence on their island would be an undeniable hostile act of aggression from an outside force.

As bad as it sound's Chris poses a much more serious threat to them if they came into contact with him, those guy's live isolated on a island and have 0 contact with the outside world so any infection he'd be holding off naturally even asymptomatically could prove fatal to them, from what I recall they don't approach the people they have killed they leave them on the beach as a message and drop them with arrows.

Now that I say it, I wonder if they managed to put 2 and 2 together from previous encounters and that's why they kill at range and don't approach.

 

[Dr. Silvestrechu]

He also corrected the judge on his gender pronouns at the October hearing and the judge just let him whine like a baby.

Judge is a Chris enabler.

 

[LoveYouLongTime]

Oh hey, you're back!

Did you ever think Chris would reach the Terry Davis level of religious crazy he's hit now? It's so different from when he was arrested. His old pre-jail Merge babble seems normal and realistic in comparison.

I really think they won't even have him in the courtroom anymore, at least not unless it goes to Circuit Court, where he'll legally have to appear.

I come and go just to check to see if Chris is still alive and to see if what my favorite lolcows are doing. And no, I never expected to get this infamous. I thought he would just be known within the Chan type communities.

 

[AnOminous]

Rain Man was a Hollywood movie that came out in 1988. It's not real life. The state run mental institution is on it's deathbed.

And in the movie Rain Man was the heir to millions. You only get this kind of care now if you have lots and lots of money to pay for it. As for the rest of you, you don't go to the Cadillac hospital, you go to the state run snakepit if you go anywhere at all.

hunter-gather societies stopped being a thing in the 1000s BCs and i spefically used an example from the 1500s AD but sure just keep imagining your own bullshit answers faggot

giggling-girls.jpg
>he's never heard of the North Sentinelese.

 

[Lol4loko]

We should party like it's 1999.

I wanna go back.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Some unfortunate girl might be forced into wifing him in those circumstances. At least Bob would get her goat dowry.

Humans are not naturally monogamous. Genetically, we have twice as many female ancestors as male ancestors. In some societies that goes down to 15% male contribution (even if that society is monogamous today).

Dowries, bride prices, etc. come from agrarian societies, not hunter/gatherers. H/g societies usually don't have much notion of property other than what you can carry on your person. The number of people in a group is very small and everyone is related so it doesn't mean that much.

Someone like Chris would most likely be able get a wife in an extremely religious agrarian society that practiced strict monogamy with difficult divorce -- basically in parts of Christian Europe.

 

[Optimus Prime]

exactly fuck you and whoever is in charge of highlights, i specifically said 1500s native american tribe to avoid that exact thing you dumb piece of shit. how dare you and everyone else on this website pretend i said otherwise. you know 50 years ago we'd have you upside with a fucking fork up your ass

Imagine being this mad because somebody quoted (at least what I thought was) a well known CWCism from the old Sonichu comics.

 

[ABE LINN COHN]

whoever is in charge of highlights

who's gonna tell him

 

[I swear she's 18]

exactly fuck you and whoever is in charge of highlights, i specifically said 1500s native american tribe to avoid that exact thing you dumb piece of shit. how dare you and everyone else on this website pretend i said otherwise. you know 50 years ago we'd have you upside with a fucking fork up your ass

who's gonna tell him

You see Kramer it all started way back 13.8 billion BC where Christine is a resident of Kidasuna before being exiled by aprox. 66 million BC. During this time cave men, but not cave whamen, were so stupid you had to tell them twice to get anything done. Mostly because our early human ancestors couldn't understand as the concept of language did not appear until 3 thousand BC. The "cavemen" era ended roughly around 10 thousand BC, also known as the Paleolithic period, before evolving into modern humans. Of course with Christine's infinite wisdom she took this knowledge and when she was reincarnated as Christopher Weston Chandler in the year of 1982. Who, upon remembering this event went to write it down as a joke in episode 7: Anchuent Prophecy on the stardate of 12 Sept 2008. Sonichu replies to the then Christian Weston Chandler with the phrase "You don't have to tell ME twice! Return to stone age?" In reference to her previous encounter with the brutal, violent, and slow in the mind men in caves.

 

[Ophelia]

who's gonna tell him

I don’t know how highlights work either

 

[ABE LINN COHN]

I don’t know how highlights work either

it's automatic, it automatically highlights posts that are more important than others based on the number of ratings

 

[A-№1]

Amazing how we went from talking about speculation on the hearing of a autistic mother rapist to a formative debate on hunter-gatherer society

It's relevant. The homeless community is a hunter gatherer society, and guess where Chris is eventually going after all these hearings?

how dare you and everyone else on this website pretend i said otherwise

Do go on. Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

you know 50 years ago we'd have you upside with a fucking fork up your ass

"We'd"? Were you there?

Would being killed by them be murder, strictly speaking?

The Indian government considers it murder, but declines to prosecute.

I like the discussion about the way pre-industrial societies cared for mentally ill and physically disabled children, I'd just like to point out in less civilised parts of the world this sort of thing still happens sadly, in some parts of the world it doesn't even have to be a disability it could just be your sex.

It's not so much a matter of age as the peculiarities of the specific society. Two thousand years ago, the "civilized" Romans threw unwanted babies, defective or not, onto the trash heaps while the same act was anathema to the "barbarian" Celts. In the modern world some countries were setting up foster homes for abandoned children while the Khmer Rouge were taking them from their parents and teaching them to kill millions with plastic bags.

Now that I say it, I wonder if they managed to put 2 and 2 together from previous encounters and that's why they kill at range and don't approach.

Or maybe whoever gets in the first shot gets extra coconuts that night. People stuck on islands with no cable television or internet have to make their own entertainment.

Someone like Chris would most likely be able get a wife in an extremely religious agrarian society that practiced strict monogamy with difficult divorce -- basically in parts of Christian Europe.

Even then it would be some slow-in-the-mind spinster whose parents are desperate to get her out of their household. And then only if there's a high labor mortality rate among the males.

In such societies, such girls tend to marry older men who have already killed off one or two previous wives in childbirth.

You see Kramer it all started way back 13.8 billion BC where Christine is a resident of Kidasuna before being exiled by aprox. 66 million BC. During this time cave men, but not cave whamen, were so stupid you had to tell them twice to get anything done. Mostly because our early human ancestors couldn't understand as the concept of language did not appear until 3 thousand BC. The "cavemen" era ended roughly around 10 thousand BC, also known as the Paleolithic period, before evolving into modern humans. Of course with Christine's infinite wisdom she took this knowledge and when she was reincarnated as Christopher Weston Chandler in the year of 1982. Who, upon remembering this event went to write it down as a joke in episode 7: Anchuent Prophecy on the stardate of 12 Sept 2008. Sonichu replies to the then Christian Weston Chandler with the phrase "You don't have to tell ME twice! Return to stone age?" In reference to her previous encounter with the brutal, violent, and slow in the mind men in caves.

Why does that sound like a secret scientology document costing thousand of dollars to learn about?