Grand Jury speculation thread

[Mariposa Electrique]

Prison is the safest outcome for Chris. Best outcome is he's released but barred from returning 14 Branchland. Best opportunity for his orbiters to nut up or shut up on housing him.

Personally, I'm more irrate at Chris being proven a liar about "dire finances" despite whiteknights coming to his aid claiming the house is under a 6 figure mortgage and also claiming that Chris does not have it in his nature to lie while Barb is pulling the strings. I never believed it for a second.

 

[RodgerDodger]

All this does seem to implicate Chris is in tougher shit than we all thought, but when is this going to take place?

First time an official continuation has not produced a date.

Because its being handed off to a diferent court. That court will schedule the next hearing. The good news is since its out of Family Court it will become easier to track. Hearings and filings wil be public unless specificallyy sealed.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

That could be a reason for it, but it should also be noted they CAN put you into some kind of psychiatric care if you're deemed incompetent to stand trial for any reason, which according to Chris, he was. This doesn't necessarily mean that you're deemed mentally retarded or anything either, and it should be noted that one's mental state is irrelevant to being deemed "competent", it all depends on their state of mind during the proceedings. For all we know, Chris didn't freak out, and instead had to be educated on how serious his position really was, and how he shouldn't constantly be talking dimensions or getting his toys back during the court hearings.

It's like the whole guilty / not-guilty thing in court. If you are declared "not-guilty" it doesn't mean you're innocent. It means that the prosecution either didn't present the proper evidence to get you convicted or the defense did a great job in casting doubt on what happened. But too often it's seen as, "they weren't charged so they're innocent". That's just not how the criminal justice system works.

But for Chris to be sent to the crazy house there needed to be a reason. After all jail is just where these people go to await trial because they were denied bail or couldn't afford it. It's a holding pen and because the system is so backed up he's practically been there for a year at this point. Most inmates never need to get a competency hearing so he must have done something, or several somethings, to get transferred there. And since it came around the time of his birthday it's a safe bet to assume that something related to that was the impetus to get him sent there.

The problem is we don't know the exact reasons so we're guessing and we'll continue to guess until we can somehow learn the truth.

 

[Jack Awful]

Prison is the safest outcome for Chris. Best outcome is he's released but barred from returning 14 Branchland. Best opportunity for his orbiters to nut up or shut up on housing him.

Only if he's put in solitary.

If he's in gen pop the other prisoners are going to regularly beat the shit out of him for being annoying.

 

[Mason Verger]

Unless he's gibbering, shitting himself, and having constant seizures, he's fit to stand trial. The standard is very, very low.

He’s got 2 out 3 on lockdown.

 

[pickle_boy]

Only if he's put in solitary.

If he's in gen pop the other prisoners are going to regularly beat the shit out of him for being annoying.

Solitary would be a great punishment. Maybe it will make them more skitzo than they already are.

 

[Jack Awful]

Solitary would be a great punishment. Maybe it will make them more skitzo than they already are.

Are we saying mental or physical safety?

 

[Octavia]

Only if he's put in solitary.

If he's in gen pop the other prisoners are going to regularly beat the shit out of him for being annoying.

Maybe Chris nuts the fuck up and brings the same energy he did to Gamestop.
He's gonna come out of prison looking like an MS13 member I swear, covered in sonichu tats.

 

[WelfareNiggerQueen]

DNA evidence from the rape kit and potentially used condoms if they found any.

Unironically Chris is the dude that would wear condoms while masturbating or fucking a sex doll then Barb is the type of bitch to nag on him for trying to throw away perfectly good finger gloves for maybe one day cleaning the house.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

at times i cant believe this is the same little retarded man who played with legos and screamed into his shitty pisscam.... boy, this show had such humble beginnings, the writers really took it to a weird place in recent seasons.

Just you wait for the redemption arc, that's gonna be a mother of a blowout.

An unfounded fear really.

Chris is in reality un-punishable, even if he’s too dumb to realize it.

Aside from losing his toys (which will hurt, but we all thought losing his PS3 would break him, and it didn’t.) there is nothing that the prison system can really do to him.

Now your average Joe, would have a shit ton to lose by going to jail. Their family, friends, jobs, hobbies…

Chris though? Aside from a con once every couple of years, he only goes out as a chore.

In jail he’ll get three meals a day, all the snacks he can eat from the commissary, and will be free to concentrate on his passions: Playing Tetris, watching movies on his prison tablet, and day dreaming.

He’ll get sorely needed structure, occasional socializing if he chooses to, and won’t have to worry about any adult stuff like Barb dying or bills getting paid.

The couple of hundred dollars he will need every month for Fanta and chips, will be easily made through a halfassed drawing here or there.

If Chris goes to jail, he is about to live his best life.

While I wholeheartedly agree, I feel I need to point out that Chris is merely unpunishable cause his life is pretty much hell already.

He has no family that wants to interact with him, he has no friends, no place to hang out, no hobbies he shares with others. He has Lego, vidya and people talling him weird shit on the internet.

The only thing he has going for himself is his tugboat, which at least allows him some financial security in theory... I guess he could sink his tugboat if he piles up too much debt or gets fucked over by the court.

Also, the times when Chris could make a few quick bucks with a shitty drawing will come to an end sooner or later. He'll be SOOL in prison when that happens. He'll have to work and that's going to lead to hilarious results, but not much cashflow, I assume. Too bad we won't know any details about the working-in-jail hijinks.

I know it’s fun to pretend that Chris between bumping someone with a car and indirectly maceing someone at GameStop is some sort of dangerous lunatic and societal menace but come the fuck on.

Well, he deliberately drove into a person and he didn't "indirectly" mace someone, he deliberately sprayed mace at someone.
In both cases, he was saved by his own incompetence to effectively achieve what he tried to do. Being a bumbling retard that fails to assault someone doesn't really take away from said bumbling retard's deliberate decision to assault someone.

Doesn't mean he's a threat to society, but it's not really appropriate to pretend he didn't pose a threat to some people in the past.

 

[anti SJW]

Only if he's put in solitary.

If he's in gen pop the other prisoners are going to regularly beat the shit out of him for being annoying.

Not an alpha male like Chris. Within a week, he will rule the yard. The members of the Sonichu's will all be wearing a medallion so they know not to be screwed with.

 

[Yksi_Toveri]

Only if he's put in solitary.

If he's in gen pop the other prisoners are going to regularly beat the shit out of him for being annoying.

He's in Protective Custody in jail and will likely also be in PC in prison. Solitary is a punishment for bad behavior. PC just means a cell by himself in a wing where prisoners who are at serious risk of harm in GenPop are placed (usually ex-cops and pedos, but a tard like Chris is at danger as well).

 

[AnOminous]

Not an alpha male like Chris. Within a week, he will rule the yard. The members of the Sonichu's will all be wearing a medallion so they know not to be screwed with.

The Sonichus will mop the floor with those pathetic fucking MS-13 maricons and Carlos Chantor will be their master.

 

[Thorgrim Grudgebearer]

Just remembered how Chris took money from Barb's account despite being under a no-contact warrant or whatever the name is and that was the tipping point for Null

Surely it'll go into the list of things he can be charged for (felony as well iirc)

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Maybe Chris nuts the fuck up and brings the same energy he did to Gamestop.
He's gonna come out of prison looking like an MS13 member I swear, covered in sonichu tats.

There was a copypasta like that on 4Chan in like 2012.

Chris goes to jail for some minor sentence, a dude tries to rape him in the shower but freaks out when he realizes that Chris shat himself in terror. Chris then pushes the sex-pest over, causing him to bash his brains out on a bench and Chris gets an increased sentence.

After having killed Tyrone The Shower Fucker, Chris ends up the leader of a growing prison gang called Sonichus. After several years, he leaves jail as a hardened criminal with a body shaped by endless body-building with a list of names who wronged him: Mary Lee Walsh, Micheal Snyder, Liquid Chris, The Man in the Pickelsuit, Alec Benson Leary, Surfshack Tito, Clyde Cash and many more who will feel Chris' wrath.

 

[Bluewhalechampion]

i think chris being autistic and mentally unwell, i assume he probably will get scot free

 

[Lorne Armstrong]

Unironically Chris is the dude that would wear condoms while masturbating

What’s wrong with that, again? I have calluses on my hands because I’m a good ol’ down home country boy so I always wear a condom when engaging in phone sex with my wohmun.

https://templeoftcap.freeforums.net/thread/18476/get-condom

 

[Robotic Richard Simmons]

This thread is awful. It's bad when the Mighty Wings thread looks like Citizen Kane in comparison. You all should feel bad.

 

[My Name is Mud]

i think chris being autistic and mentally unwell, i assume he probably will get scot free

Maybe a few months ago, but now it's clear they are actively trying to nail him. His case is being brought to a Grand Jury. Maybe there once were a chance that the evidence was not strong enough to convict him, and maybe he once had a chance to grab a sweet plea deal and get off easy, but now it's too late. Plus, he already spent a year behind bars, and he will most definitely not be allowed to go back to 14BC or contact Barb even if he is let go. I wouldn't call that scot-free, and that's the best case scenario.

ETA: even if he's a tard, he will definitely not be found criminally insane or even unfit to stand trial - it's exceptionally difficult to be found that mentally ill.

 

[AnOminous]

This thread is awful. It's bad when the Mighty Wings thread looks like Citizen Kane in comparison. You all should feel bad.

Don't talk shit about Mighty Wings.