Grand Theft Auto Grieving Thread - Yep, I've been drinkin' again...

[DeadwastePrime]

Closest thing to a "billy club" in GTA would be the baseball bat and golf club.

it did, but it's under the name nightstick

 

[José Mourinho]

Have you actually fucking WATCHED South Park in the last couple of years?

3. They explicitly had Garrison rape/kill a Canadian Donald Trump (not Justin Trudeau as TV shows are forbidden to mock him) then spent several seasons shitting on Trump via Garrison complete with mocking his biggest supporters (The Whites, who has nothing but bad shit happen to them) and doing a bit where the town has to be told point blank "you can't joke or outright state you want to kill Trum... I mean Garrison because people will try and cancel you").

5. Oh and the reason they made Garrison into a Trump stand-in is "we don't want to give Trump any publicity by having him be a character on the show" even though they spent the entire Trump Presidency whining about how "making Garrison President ruined their ability to use Garrison as a character" even though they fucking had a huge gap between seasons where they could have dropped Garrison running for President, but opted NOT TO because they REFUSED to make Trump a South Park character.

Just a few things since South Park is mentioned and I really cannot resist letting it all out:

I find the Canadian Trump episode alright but I see zero reason why they have to make like at least one season dunking on Trump because the Canadian Trump one is already more than good enough. As for the jokes involving Trump, there really isn't any much substance to it. "Put it Down" is ok since it involves Tweek freaking out over Garrison's tweets but after that it's just mocking Trump's low approval ratings with no substance to it, or at least something that isn't even memorable.

Looking back on Season 21, I think that was the season where South Park jumped the shark real hard. You can argue Season 20 was the point where they did as such, but even at least some of the episodes I saw and recalled had some soul into it (One episode I randomly rewatched from that season was "Weiner's Out" and it was pretty good). Rewatching few of the episodes of Season 21 out of randomness, even the ones which don't even involve Trump (the episodes I picked are "Franchise Prequel" where they just unfunnily make fun of Mark Zuckerberg with the Coon & Friends, and "Moss Piglets" which involves Timmy and Jimmy's science fair project and the plot is very predictable) feel soulless, even when compared with the previous season which was regarded to be the worst season, like there's no heart being put into them.

If there's one episode where I think "Okay, I think South Park is pretty much dead", that'll be "Splatty Tomato". This is the season finale of a season which in my opinion where South Park really lost their soul even when compared with the previous season, which was the icing on the shitcake. After the second-last episode where they did a mediocre job ripping off the South Park movie plot with the sides swapped and ended with Garrison nuking Canada, we get an entire episode of Garrison being shat on because of his low approval ratings (again).
Then we have the Whites, who are not only the most unnecessary characters in the show (and besides you already have existing characters about white nationalist rednecks and even had them at the start of the fucking season, in which the episode sucked ass), the jokes involving them are extremely repetitive and dreadfully unfunny, it's just "Nobody cares about the Whites!" over and over.

The part you mentioned about not making jokes about murdering the president is actually a lot worse in my view, it's just the writers putting themselves into this dumb dialogue where they whine about "We want to joke about killing the president but we can't", and I think of it because of you cannot make death threats to him, like you really really want him to be gone for good but you just can't because of laws about death threats to the president:

The episode is so bad and pretty bad at trying to get the point across, along with plot devices which are all over the fucking place that someone on IMDB actually thought it's mocking those who are against Trump because of how over the top it was, which is clearly false and bullshit:

So yeah that's South Park for you. If you're wondering what happened to them now, it's just them whining about making so much money from streaming companies (Paramount Plus) and how their quality went downhill.

Back to Grand Theft Auto.

I don't give a shit if the main character is a woman or Latina or whatever the fuck as long as they're well written.

I'm concerned that they're saying they won't be "punching down" anymore, which is code for "we're going to make all the satire and the narrative really boring, safe, and one sided" which is the opposite of GTA.

Plus, GTA Definitive Edition is a bad omen on the quality of the studio.

Pretty much this. I don't give a bother if the main character is a Latina female which honestly on paper, shaking things up on paper can lead to interestingly different stuff and make it unique, but this is the same company which as I said before, had a dumb E3 panel where they discussed nothing about games at all so I suggest don't get your hopes off especially with the travesty that is the trilogy definitive editions.

 

[The Last Stand]

it did, but it's under the name nightstick

Oh, I forgot about the nightstick. GTA III didn't even HAVE nightsticks. Cops would just punch and headbutt you at one star.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I don't know why I can't help but not believe this at all. I don't suppose anyone has a forum from back then to prove if this is actually true.

There's possibly some truth to it, but I certainly don't think it was Wind Waker levels of backlash at least. I never noticed it at all, personally.

give you the ability to dress her slutty or hell even go streaking, would be a start

giving the character at least some depth and not just yet another typical bland Mary Sue would be even better

Wokeshit is retarded but you sound ridiculous, were you joking?

 

[The Last Stand]

Wokeshit is retarded but you sound ridiculous, were you joking?

Nah, he's serious. This is the same person that got upset about Cammy's ass in SF6.

 

[Dom Cruise]

There's possibly some truth to it, but I certainly don't think it was Wind Waker levels of backlash at least. I never noticed it at all, personally.



Wokeshit is retarded but you sound ridiculous, were you joking?

Saints Row 2 lets you deck out your female character in a Borat style slingkini and it was hilarious.

Saints Row 3 and 4 let you give them comically oversized breasts.

One way to make a female character interesting is good old fashioned T&A, so fucking sue me, disagree with me all you want, but that's how I feel.

I understand liking vidya gurm T&A is not popular here and I don't give a single fuck, I like it, you don't like it? Fine, but spare me the salt.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Nah, he's serious. This is the same person that got upset about Cammy's ass in SF6.

Then I guess he doesn't realize the inherent contradiction of wanting a dumb slutty character who runs around nude, but also has intricate character arcs and real depth. That's like wanting a porno to be on the same level as Shakespeare or something, isn't it?

Not trying to make a big thing out of it btw.

One way to make a female character interesting is good old fashioned T&A, so fucking sue me, disagree with me all you want, but that's how I feel.

I understand liking vidya gurm T&A is not popular here and I don't give a single fuck, I like it, you don't like it? Fine, but spare me the salt.

That doesn't make the character interesting, that makes it fappable. I'm not salty at all, don't be so defensive.

 

[Soycast Guy]

I wonder how Trevor was “openly queer” when I didn’t even know he was bisexual until Swegta brought it up. Even then, I genuinely don’t care. A characters sexuality won’t keep me up at night unlike what Swegta would like to think.

 

[The Last Stand]

Saints Row 2 lets you deck out your female character in a Borat style slingkini and it was hilarious.

Saints Row 3 and 4 let you give them comically oversized breasts.

One way to make a female character interesting is good old fashioned T&A, so fucking sue me, disagree with me all you want, but that's how I feel.

I understand liking vidya gurm T&A is not popular here and I don't give a single fuck, I like it, you don't like it? Fine, but spare me the salt.

First thing you see when starting your car at your driver's window:



And she isn't a prostitute.

 

[jje100010001]

To be perfectly honest, a GTA gamed based on Bonnie and Clyde is a brilliant idea with a ton of potential. However, given abysmal state of Rockstar, this is most likely gonna be an absolute shitshow.

I sort of want a RDR-GTA hybrid with Jack Marston in a Bonnie and Clyde partnership set in the 1930s.

Also lmao, Latina Bonnie Parker. InB4 it's revealed that we're just gonna be playing as fucking Catalina.

I dunno, the HD universe is segregated story-wise from the 3D universe. That being said, I could see someone based on her being a MC set in a Vice City 80s-era game.

 

[Prophetic Spirit]

I wonder how Trevor was “openly queer” when I didn’t even know he was bisexual until Swegta brought it up. Even then, I genuinely don’t care. A characters sexuality won’t keep me up at night unlike what Swegta would like to think.

He's not openly queer, he just can use dresses. That doesn't mean nothing.
The bisexual part is 'cus he spooned Floyd and can go with bitches with booty calls and shit.
SWEGTA is just a retard piece of shit with a horrible voice. I mean, how he can live with that?

@The Last Stand is acting again like a NPC and @Dom Cruise is again being the coomer he always has.
God save us all.

 

[Soycast Guy]

He's not openly queer, he just can use dresses. That doesn't mean nothing.
The bisexual part is 'cus he spooned Floyd and can go with bitches with booty calls and shit.
SWEGTA is just a retard piece of shit with a horrible voice. I mean, how he can live with that?

@The Last Stand is acting again like a NPC and @Dom Cruise is again being the coomer he always has.
God save us all.

Speaking of Swegta’s voice, did he have a British voice or the faggot fairy voice?

 

[The Last Stand]

I sort of want a RDR-GTA hybrid with Jack Marston in a Bonnie and Clyde partnership set in the 1930s.

Then it would directly compete with the Mafia series based on that time period alone. The potential advantage that such a GTA would have over Mafia would be the world's interactivity and social commentary. I'm not bashing your general idea. I just realized that Take Two would directly compete with itself with that move.

 

[Nobunaga]

>tfw you were supposed to be a representation of your series' playerbase but you ended up being a representation of modern woke culture instead

By having no personality or storyline and your only gimmick being wacky wahoo crazy just like franklin?

 

[Headshotmaster138]

Speaking of Swegta’s voice, did he have a British voice or the faggot fairy voice?

He's from Sweden.

By having no personality or storyline and your only gimmick being wacky wahoo crazy just like franklin?

I feel like a very small minority in this but I feel like Michael should've been the main character of Gta 5 while Trevor and Franklin are just DLC similar to Gta 4.

 

[Korpon]

I find the Canadian Trump episode alright but I see zero reason why they have to make like at least one season dunking on Trump because the Canadian Trump one is already more than good enough. As for the jokes involving Trump, there really isn't any much substance to it. "Put it Down" is ok since it involves Tweek freaking out over Garrison's tweets but after that it's just mocking Trump's low approval ratings with no substance to it, or at least something that isn't even memorable.

@José Mourinho
Couldn't quote post, but them dropping the ball on making great jokes on Trump was a massive bummer. I'm a supporter of him but dammit if there isn't plenty of meme material of the guy and especially for South Park jokes, them just reusing lame ones and nothing else shows how much T&M fell off. The biggest example of that is them doing zero jokes on Biden, who is even more prime for great jokes.

Oh, I forgot about the nightstick. GTA III didn't even HAVE nightsticks. Cops would just punch and headbutt you at one star.

GTA III cops have always been so charming to me, even if they are the "weakest" of the 3D trilogy cops. They'd just roll up on your ass most likely running you over, hop out and proceed to throw hands with Claude yelling "A L L R I G H T D R O P D O W N", which was great. Next game in VC had spike strips, way more aggressive AI, the main characters from fuckin Miami Vice rolling up on you in a Cheetah, etc. See, GTAVI will never be able to replicate the great feelings I have with the original games.

 

[The Last Stand]

Okay, I want to make this clear for the SJWs and @Dom Cruise, so listen carefully (or don't.)

There's nothing wrong with implementing a female protagonist in games, especially something like GTA. The issue people see with it would be the execution of said female protagonist for GTA 6.

The entertainment industry has proven the past few years to arbitrary create "diverse" characters without any development, depth or originality. They would literally exist to satisfy a checklist and nothing more. Worse, they would be created to push an agenda or belief that would compromise the plot and/or audience engagement.

If R* has proven their case with this hypothetical female main character, they would likely create a Mary Sue to entice an audience that would not stay engaged outside of potential monetization or blind consumerism. See their revisionism with Phil Cassidy and his Confederate shirt with DE or removing drag queen NPCs from GTA V: E&E.

We're not asking for Shakespearean levels of character; we're asking for competent writing that can hold its own without submitting to "public outrage." In an M-RATED VIDEO GAME no less.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

resident shitbag stoner SWEGTA gives his take on the news:
( Link / Archive )
View attachment 3540182

>openly queer
>gender non-conforming
>pro environment

 

[The Last Stand]

"GTA, at least in the HD era, is supposed to be a little more grounded."

HD era GTA:

View attachment 3540534View attachment 3540535View attachment 3540536View attachment 3540537View attachment 3540538

In fairness, GTA in the HD era WAS grounded until GTA Online. Although, I think IV's car handling leaves a lot to be desired.

 

[Ita Mori]

Okay, who (besides @Dom Cruise) is upset about GTA having a female protagonist?

Me. Because we all know they're almost certainly doing it for all the wrong reasons.

I want a badass femme fatale that can exude the same level of confidence and idolatry that 80's action heroes did. Basically I want the female version of that shot of Rambo in FBpt2 where he's mowing down poor sods with his M60 like it's going out of style, with an equivalent physique to match.
We won't get one; we're getting a narrative-approved, politically correct Mary Sue who will stick it to the neo-con man.

I want a game with a vision and direction that's brilliantly executed. What we'll get is a focus-tested, journalist-skill level certified mess. Or as I like to call it now, Saints Row 2022 with a high budget and bigger brand recognition.

10 years ago I would've been jumping for joy at the idea of a female protagonist for an EFLC expansion or Chinatown Wars type spin-off.
Now I don't want it anymore. If they can't do cool guys right anymore, what hope is there for them to do women right?

I think Roman, our favourite cousin, will face the might of the Latino Liberator, murdering him after it comes out on 'Shitter' (get it?) he has committed several historic sex crimes. A true #MeToo inspired murder.

I think Roman's the one who's canonically dead already.
My guess is if they do it, they'll do it to someone like Mori or Luis; womanizers who are oh-so toxic.

you also had tons of kids pissed off they were playing a black man.

True. My Mexican cousin outright refuses to play SA to this day because he doesn't "want to play as a jungle monkey... Can't I just have a sequel with Tommy instead?"