Growing up really does suck

[Anasûrimbor Kellhus]

I find adult life dreary but I prefer it infinitely over being a kid. I didn't have a bad childhood relatively speaking, or at least not a REALLY bad one but I despised being a child otherwise.

I blame public ed I was thrown to the wolves, near every day was tormented by retarded losers that went on to overdose in their adulthood. I love the power and freedom of being a moderately competent and intelligent adult brings me, even in our current nightmare clown world. This isn't like a power trip thing I am just appreciative that as an adult my hard work and generally kind disposition to most people is now reciprocated. I am at least treated with a SLIVER of deference and a modicum of respect from my peers, the same that I show them.

Pretty much all I'm saying is I'm glad I don't get fucked with on the reg by people who really had no place to do so. I can live my life unmolested by losers now.

if I sound a little bitter I am I suppose though I don't really dwell overmuch on these things unless the topic comes up.

Regardless I've never experienced in my adult life the level of unnecessary disrespect I did from my peers when I was a child and as such would never dream of going back to my childhood unless I can be sent back with the knowledge to buy bitcoin.

also I was no angel as a kid either which is something else I don't like about my childhood. Didn't have the emotional regulation that I do as an adult. kids can be demons when they want to lol even I gave my parents hell that I cringe at to this day.

 

[Patrick Bait-man]

I don't really miss being a kid again, I miss how good things were in the 90s/2000s before everything irreparably changed for the worse.

 

[Odd Opossum]

There's plenty of bad natural things about being an adult, but it only really sucks if you as a person suck, so just stop sucking so much (tall order for a lot on here).

 

[seri0us]

With no power comes no responsibility ;D

 

[HOMO FOR LIFE RETURNS]

I don't really miss being a kid again, I miss how good things were in the 90s/2000s before everything irreparably changed for the worse.
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Only the good about our childhood (unless you are gen z and beyond. Good luck with your shit). It was an awesome time. No social media. Internet was relatively free and wild. Boobs were cool. Sexy was sexy. Thing were straight as arrow. 4chan was fun. Lolcows were genuine and truly lolzy.

 

[peepoopeepoo]

Eh, childhood kinda sucked, adulthood still kinda sucks.

I guess some people are just not good at life.

 

[Geddy Lee's Fee and See]

A lot of adults here rightfully point out OPs apprehension to family and marriage is kinda dumb (since you can ultimately gain that sense of magic and wonder from having kids), but then they go in the complete opposite direction and pretend the adult world isn't filled to the brim with soulless retards and that a good chunk of adults are mentally and spiritually dull. Why do you think sportsball is a huge ass industry pr Marvel movies?

Like everything in life, balance is key. Don't be an immature manchild who cannot accept any responsibility for anything but don't overcorrect and become your average spiritually dull nitwit who can't make baudy jokes, be expressive or forces himself to have "adult" hobbies because it is expected out of him and cannot have a sense of appreciation for the world around him (at least in a non-professional context). Frankly, this is so obvious it really explains why everyone is so fucked up and depressed: they aren't acting like human adults, they're acting like children or wheels in a cog.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I miss how good things were in the 90s/2000s before everything irreparably changed for the worse.

The West as a whole was certainly in a much better place before Current Year.

No "social media", no crappy economy, no SJWs, no unchecked mass immigration.

 

[Frostnipped Todger]

My thirties have kicked ass compared to my twenties, which kicked ass compared to my childhood

I feel the same way, and my forties have been even better. Keep the faith!


Also, looking at life through an idealistic lens is always a bad idea. I'm sure there were people who thought that the 80s sucked (and the cold war was no joke, people were legit terrified of nuclear war), but I'm sure there were people complaining in the 1880s too. At the end of the day, you live in a great place, and a great time. If you don't want to recognise that, that's your right, but I was a miserable faggot for years, and then I realised that I was only bringing myself down. I have gotten typhoid for years, and I haven't gotten polio either! My ancestors would have been amazed at a world where you could have all of your siblings survive the first 3 years of life, or they didn't get forced into some war because the king or chieftain got uppity.

 

[Fag Albert]

Holy fuck I had you pegged for mid 20s at the oldest all this time

 

[skykiii]

I recommend Blackjack.

You mean, like, hitting people with one, or...?

...but not even a single response said that, a few said that the fact you're rejecting the stages of life by refusing to have a wife or kids is contributing to your sense that there's nothing of value in being an adult.

All those arguments seem to be coming from a perspective of "have a wife and kids and suddenly things will be good again," which not only have others posted "I tried that and it just made life worse" responses.... in my personal experience, I get the feeling that's exactly how it would be for me.

I had three ex-girlfriends, and the experience was miserable all three times--they always turned out to be completely insane. They demand you prioritize them over yourself. As for kids, I got a taste of that just taking care of other people's kids temporarily. Kids can be cute when you only have to deal with them for a short time but I could see them quickly becoming a problem (especially with some of my physical issues) if it was a full-time job.

That's just my own experiences. Friends of mine have had to deal with shit like having stuff stolen from them by an ex who wanted revenge (one of my friends lost a book given to him by his grandmother and which was intended to be a family heirloom because of this).

Gonna be honest I also tend to immediately distrust concepts like "biological imperative" and other "you HAVE to do this, science says so!" concepts. Those feel like just using science language to justify what you already want to do anyway.

 

[Geddy Lee's Fee and See]

Gonna be honest I also tend to immediately distrust concepts like "biological imperative" and other "you HAVE to do this, science says so!" concepts. Those feel like just using science language to justify what you already want to do anyway.

Because it's bullshit. If the biological imperative aspect of having kids is true, than your average hick or hoodrat with 10 neglected kids all living in poor conditions is more successful than a person who waits to have kids with the right woman (or something close to right) at a reasonable time in their lives where they can devote enough time, energy, resources and most importantly love to raising the few kids they have well. Not to say having multiple kids is bad, but you have to do it in a manner that will make them good people and with a spouse-friend that will help you achieve this end. I feel most people have kids because of some variant of the biological imperative without really understanding you should have kids because you want to bring in a new generation of people to experience the many joys of existence and making them good people that contribute to themselves, their communities and the world at large so the cycle can continue, not because religion/society/the government/biology or whatever else told you to. It's why so many people are trapped in bad or loveless marriages or get divorced in addition to not raising their kids well. I can understand the poorer classes not understanding this, but the middle class is full of idiots that can't understand the sheer gravity of this mindset when raising kids and it has caused so much damage to pretty much all facets of human existence.

 

[Ken Barlow]

I had three ex-girlfriends, and the experience was miserable all three times--they always turned out to be completely insane.

Once is unfortunate, twice less so, three times? Patterns of behavior. Sounds like a you problem.

Whatever you are aimlessly searching for you will not find it here in this thread and certainly not on this website.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

All those arguments seem to be coming from a perspective of "have a wife and kids and suddenly things will be good again," which not only have others posted "I tried that and it just made life worse" responses.... in my personal experience, I get the feeling that's exactly how it would be for me.

I can't think of many things more recklessly irresponsible than telling someone to get married and have children because it'll fix the problems in their life.

If you don't want to get married or don't want children, don't. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that personal decision, and it is up to you and you alone. The only people who complain or judge negatively either regret their own decisions and are projecting, or have ulterior motives that have nothing to do with your wellbeing or happiness. Oftentimes they're childless themselves.

It may be you aren't called to the married life. Catholic theology discusses this in the context of vocations and it's a worthwhile read no matter your beliefs.

Gonna be honest I also tend to immediately distrust concepts like "biological imperative" and other "you HAVE to do this, science says so!" concepts. Those feel like just using science language to justify what you already want to do anyway.

That's because they're irrelevant. You're a free human being who can make your own decisions.

 

[parsnip]

I loved being a kid. I love being an adult. I've got a spouse and kids, and I work. Working is shit, but everyone is responsible for feeding themselves you know?
Whenever I feel like life is kinda meh it's probably because I haven't made time for my hobbies, or gone on a trip in a while. Even a cheap day trip exploring new hiking spots can do wonders.
I don't even make a lot of money, so this isn't a rich person everything is wonderful and easy POV. I think at a certain point you have to accept if your life feels shitty, but you have your basic needs met, maybe you're spending too much time focusing on what you don't have, or you're not making any effort to have fun.

 

[Cardinal Cardinal]

You mean, like, hitting people with one, or...?


I had three ex-girlfriends, and the experience was miserable all three times--they always turned out to be completely insane. They demand you prioritize them over yourself.

I meant cards but you can probably make good money with mugging too.

It's not uncommon that women will want to spend more time with you then you do them (in general) . I don't know if you are exaggerating that they demand you prioritize them or you just don't see the need to be around as much as they want. Which I get, two days out of a week is the max amount of time I can stand if they expect me to "spend time with them". Looking back it may have been that I wasn't into them that much.

If it isn't working out, there's probably a reason it isn't working out. Don't try to fix it if you are miserable. It's also important that you like who you are.

 

[mindlessobserver]

Ah, there’s a solution to this. You have children. And then you get to do all the fun things and relive the daft fun things. You get to buy Lego ‘for the children’ (of course!) and you get to be a kid again.

This.

Have sex. Make children.

 

[melty]

Being an adult is way better than being a kid. As a kid I had to follow a million rules I didn't understand, go to school every day with people who hated me, get screamed at by my mom for no reason, couldn't drive anywhere, had no money. As an adult I can buy and do most things I want. Taxes and paying bills are not as bad as I was led to believe. Taking care of myself isn't hard. I spend most of my time playing games, bullshitting online, buying and eating what I want and my job is pretty easy, much better than going to school all day with low iq shits, plus I get money for it. I really like being in control of my life which didn't exist as a kid. I think most people do too much stuff, I set up my life to be easy and enjoyable and it is.

 

[pentangle]

If it isn't working out, there's probably a reason it isn't working out. Don't try to fix it if you are miserable. It's also important that you like who you are.

His problem doesn't seem to be that he doesn't like himself enough - it's that he likes himself a little too much (or maybe put less retardedly, he's a bit self absorbed). There's no point in getting into a relationship if you aren't willing to spend time with your partner or actually like them - part of relationships involve giving up the degree of autonomy and self absorption you had before them. It's unfair to other people to date or pursue them if you aren't willing to accommodate them into your life in some kind of meaningful way. Especially if it happened 100% of the time, all 3 times - it sounds more like a "him" problem than a "them" problem.

Like everything in life, balance is key. Don't be an immature manchild who cannot accept any responsibility for anything but don't overcorrect and become your average spiritually dull nitwit who can't make baudy jokes, be expressive or forces himself to have "adult" hobbies because it is expected out of him and cannot have a sense of appreciation for the world around him (at least in a non-professional context). Frankly, this is so obvious it really explains why everyone is so fucked up and depressed: they aren't acting like human adults, they're acting like children or wheels in a cog.

God I really feel this dating in my late 20s. Why do you think such a stark dichotomy exists? I don't understand how so many people let themselves fall into this trap - there's nothing about prudentially planning for the future, getting a real job, and avoiding addictions to asinine bullshit that should necessarily preclude you from having even moderately interesting perspectives, hobbies, a sense of humor or authenticity etc.

 

[skykiii]

His problem doesn't seem to be that he doesn't like himself enough - it's that he likes himself a little too much (or maybe put less retardedly, he's a bit self absorbed). There's no point in getting into a relationship if you aren't willing to spend time with your partner or actually like them - part of relationships involve giving up the degree of autonomy and self absorption you had before them. It's unfair to other people to date or pursue them if you aren't willing to accommodate them into your life in some kind of meaningful way. Especially if it happened 100% of the time, all 3 times - it sounds more like a "him" problem than a "them" problem.

Love how you somehow drew this psychoanalysis from a relatively sparse statement. It reeks of a need to jump to the defense of women.

First of all, I did not actually pursue women. I don't go to clubs or use dating apps (not that any would've existed back in the day anyway) or anything like that. All three of the girls I briefly dated were ones I just happened to meet in the midst of other activities. And in two of the cases, they were the ones who asked me out.

Here's an example of the kind of shit I put up with (being vague with some details to A - prevent accidental self-doxxing and B - to keep the story from being novella-length):

With the first girl, there was a brief time I was away from her area and back visiting my family, and she insisted I stay in contact via the internet. Keep in mind this was during the days of dial-up modems. One of our conversations happened on a stormy night. I insisted I had to go because it was thundering (I had no surge protector then), but she said she'd break up with me if I turned off the PC and says I'm just being paranoid about the lightning thing...

Lightning strikes and fries my modem.

The next day I contact her using my sister's PC (the storm is gone now) and the convo goes something like this:

HER: "Why the hell did you leave last night?"

ME: "Modem got fried! I told you it was storming!"

HER: "How are you talking to me now?"

ME: "I'm using my sister's computer."

HER: "Why didn't you get on her PC last night?"

ME: "Because frying my own computer is one thing, but I won't fry someone else's."

HER: "I still think you were being paranoid about the lightning."

ME: "... It literally DID fry my modem."

HER: "Look, what matters more, a modem, or me?"

ME: "How am I supposed to contact you without a modem?"

HER: "You hate me, is that it?"

You get the idea. And yes, pulling the "you hate me, don't you?" card was a common tactic. Being away from her for two days plus being asked to destroy someone else's property (I've always held people's personal belongings are sancrosanct) were events that helped me realize this relationship was toxic.

But go on, tell me how all this somehow evidences I'm being "self absorbed" and wasn't giving the relationship a fair shake, and how someone who is really trying would've had no problem with risking a relative's PC, or in fact would not have gone home for awhile at all.

Once is unfortunate, twice less so, three times? Patterns of behavior. Sounds like a you problem.

Exactly! After the third time, I figured out that any girl who shows a romantic interest in me should be avoided at all cost. Pattern recognition is a thing.

I feel you brother.

Here's a YouTube-channel I imagine you might fancy; hopefully as much as I do:

https://www.youtube.com/@thinking-ape6483

Stay sane, fren.

I gave him a shot, but just from what little exposure I've had, I'm not sure he's for me.