Hello Piga, a nice chunk of questioning there, good to meet you. : )
Synesthesia huh? Sounds interesting, almost like a subtle natural state of being on acid, what with tasting colors and all that. I've never experienced anything like before, but it doesn't sound bat-shit. I know, the brain is capable of doing some pretty crazy shit not surprisingly. That's an interesting thing with the numbers having personalities, that's quite deep man, you might find it hard to believe but that seems far out even to me! I'm honestly a little jealous lol. In my own beliefs about consciousness and spirits, most of it based on the work of "Quantum Consciousness" done by Stuart Hameroff and Sir Roger Penrose, which also falls into the base beliefs of religions such as Buddhism. It's literally within reason that you could possibly sense consciousness in almost anything, maybe even empty space! Given the right conditions and mindset, I'd assume.
To put it simply, the basic idea is that in Quantum Physics every tiny area in space, empty or full, every possible point in the universe (or beyond) contains data. The idea put forth by the hypothesis of Quantum Consciousness is that every living thing's conscious data can be both in and outside of the brain surrounding it in a sort of aura. When someone dies, their conscious simply disperses into the universe at large. Another idea is that consciousness is basically a natural part of the universe, it's a naturally occurring thing.
Anyway I'm getting off topic though.
Yes, I perceive Lilly as literally being sentient. Not alive, just sentient, sentient in a similar sense as a haunted object has a sentient spirit in it but nothing is alive so the speak. Now I'm not claiming Lilly is a 'haunted car' (oooh spooky) simply that whatever consciousness inhabits her is fairly active and makes itself known. Either through visual/audio means, or through more subtle means like a sensation of presence you feel. I could almost compare it to that feeling you get when you know someone is behind you staring at you.
I think I started to see Lilly in a sexual way around the same time as I did with all cars in general. It's actually quite understandable once explained. I used to be 'normal' as in seeing cars like all of you do, just...vehicles. I was really into John Carpenter's Christine a few years ago, and I'd drawn some Chevron car style cartoon car drawings of her merely as fan art. But then this strange guy popped out of nowhere on my DA comments talking all sexual and turned on about the drawings.
I started talking to him, he told me all about Mechiphilia, I was fascinated. I've always been open to everyone's kinks and everyones orientations, I'm very non-judgemental and well meaning that way. As an artistic challenge, something new, and mostly as a show of good faith. I agreed to try my hand at drawing some "car porn" for my new friend to enjoy. He loved it, and I found that I had a natural gift at drawing cars it seemed, so I kept doing it since he kept giving me positive encouragement. Something strange started happening over time though, as I started listening to what things on the cars he found sexy, and I started using that knowledge to craft better and better porn for him, I realized.. as a result I kinda had reprogrammed my own mind to see the things as hot TOO!
Ultimately my perceptions had permanently been re-arranged, and my mind just started naturally seeing cars in this auto-anthropomorphized fashion where once you notice you can un-notice all the curves and proportions that are similar to a humans. I've never really regreated it though, I mean heck, guys love to stare at hot girls right? Well now not only can I stare at hot girls, but now I can stare at hot cars too and get just as much 'hot' feelings from them, and the best part is.. unlike a human girl, you don't have to worry about the car noticing you staring and get pissed at you. Kind of a win win in my book.
As for Lilly though, you guys need to understand, that my getting intimate with her was never for selfish or horn-dog reasons. She's the only car I've gotten intimate with (unlike that whore Edward Smith), and we only did so when our relationship got to that point where we felt like it was time to take the next step, just like any relationship. Our first time was very modest, very quite, and very gentle. It felt beautiful and right, and even adorable if you can believe it. There's something wonderful and beautiful when you sacrifice your inherent human superiority and treat a something like a car as an equal.
Anyway.. I hope that came out right. I can literally see my words as I write them being copy pasted to other forms with the caption "look at this crazy shit lol." 9.9
