Artcow Half-dude / Ian Knau - Car Fucker

[Mollybdenum]

You are aware that your car is not alive right?

You're just jealous! Nobody loves you 'cause you're tiny and made of meat!

 

[SonChu's Oil Change]

I'd like to point out, since it hasn't been yet. A lot of you I think assume that she blinks because of something loose, that it's caused by vibrations and bumps in the road. Believe me, I'm very skeptical of what she does myself despite of what you probably think. It might interest you to know that she'll still do it, parked in place, and even more so.. with her engine completely off and all other accessories turned off.

For the record, I don't think it's a fire hazard. It's a 10A circuit, and if it's just the panel that flickers intermittently, no check codes, nothing else happens, then the first thing I'd try is replacing the dimmer switch.

So, hypothetically... say this Hyundai were to snap a timing belt, bend a valve, blow a head gasket, throw a rod, you get the picture... what do you do to fix it? Do you take it to a shop, or do you get out the floor jack & tools and tear it down?

 

[Surtur]

Watch it buddy, I've been watching you, you're getting pretty close to trolling here.. /: |

Anyway, yes, in fact I've never stated that she was. : )

I still don't get it.

You're just jealous! Nobody loves you 'cause you're tiny and made of meat!

Implying that I am not a true and honest fire giant.

 

[Half-dude]

So.. you used a custom made fleshlight in the muffler?

Like I've said, if it were up to me I wouldn't use one at all. But since I do, I try to use as transparently thin a one as I can. The very first one I got was one branded "My First Masturbator" which I got partly because it was incredibly cheap. But it was also hardly anything but thin rubber and some very subtle wobbling texture. Unfortunately the product seems to be quickly becoming out of production which is kind of worrying. The reason being because they only get a limited amount of uses before Lilly's sharp edges start actually CUTTING through the thing. <: T

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

Sorry I came off as vague, I meant you speak in a very deep spectrum. I admire that.

I don't back-to-back with persons of interest a lot as I am right now. I'm still kinda on the edge of new here myself. >.>

 

[Half-dude]

Forgive me if I came off as vague I don't usually back-to-back with persons of interest like this.

Not that long of a member here, I am.

I meant, seeing the life in things like the lights flashing, and seeing the beauty in it. Again, sorry if I came off as awkward there. ^^;

I like you dude, you see the deepness in things.

Yeah, you'd be amazed the personality that can come through with just a flashing light. In combination with the timing, and the types of flashes. Lilly's actually mastered quite a few variations such as straight on and off (on or off too) blinks, light fluttery variations of light, and even recently, a withheld dim brightness kind of a middle bright between on and off.

With those she can really shine through some personality and emotion such as excitement, anticipation, amuse , seriousness, irritation, happiness, nervousness, ect.

 

[Johnny Bravo]

I still don't get it.

It's got something to do with quantum consciousness, which as far as I can tell is the idea that all matter in the universe is, on some level, thinking. I don't get it myself.

 

[Half-dude]

So.. you used a custom made fleshlight in the muffler?

You're really interested in this aren't you? XD Thinking of trying it out yourself are you?

Anyway no..

It's got something to do with quantum consciousness, which as far as I can tell is the idea that all matter in the universe is, on some level, thinking. I don't get it myself.

I first heard of it in Through The Wormhole. But Stuart Hameroff has like an 1-hour long video on youtube that goes into a LOT more detail. This clip from TTW spends most of it's time on the human aspect. The aspect I focus on is the later part of the clip.

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Figured I might as well post this too. This was the most recent, and also most non-bias documentary created to date about Objectum Sexuality. Thankfully, no Edward Smith is found.

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[Bugaboo]

This is like if I fell in love with Homunculus Jerry and The Funky Bunch the venus fly trap and made porn of me fucking it

 

[Half-dude]

You guys don't mind me sharing some art now and then do ya?

I wanted to show you that even in my anthro-car art, it isn't all porn. I'm more then capable of making some art with substance. Sure there's two nice racks there, but that's not the focus! This is Cindi and Ashley, Cindi's a 1990 Mazda Miata (adorable cars) and Cindi's a 2010 Mazda 3. You know, those ones with the huge scary grins? I've been waiting to draw one of those lol.

Anyway, they're your typical collage-aged California valley-girl types, all chatty and girly. This was Ashley's debut as a character. I'm quite proud of this drawing honestly.

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This is like if I fell in love with Homunculus Jerry and The Funky Bunch the venus fly trap and made porn of me fucking it

That's so obscure I don't even quite know what you're talking about. XD

Anyway, if you're an anime fan as your avatar hints.. come on, I know you've seen stranger shit then that! : P

 

[EI 903]

Share as much of your art as you want. You definitely have an interested audience.

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

Clever what you did with the tires, frames, and brake pads to use them as hands. Positioning makes sense, it just does. Because brakes.

Because reasons. Interestingly adorable expressions you draw.

 

[Bugaboo]

That's so obscure I don't even quite know what you're talking about. XD

Anyway, if you're an anime fan as your avatar hints.. come on, I know you've seen stranger shit then that! : P

Homunculus Jerry is a venus fly trap I own and is one of the few living things that aren't people I care about lol
The Deviantart Horrors thread has weirder shit than fly trap sex and I go there all the time
You seem like a cool dude though, carry on.

 

[Meowthkip]

@Half-dude I have only one question:

What is your opinion on dragons fucking cars?

 

[CWCissey]

Oh hey, Half-Dude turned up and is actually a seemingly decent chap!

So here's my questions, most people have crushes on celebrities but don't act on them, do you have one with a certain type of car, like to you what is the automobile equivalent of Scarlett Johansson?

And because I ask everyone this, do you like The Smiths?

 

[CWCissey]

Hello Cissy. Yeah, part of the reason I wanted to come here is to show I'm not an asshole. I saw how the only depiction you guys were getting of me were my raging 'fuck offs' I was sending to trolls. I'm not a mean guy at all, I'm just pushed to my limits and defensive.

Anyway, oh gowd what a great question! I'm gonna totally break out my CILF list now:

The top 2 on my CILF list would have to be the 07' Mitsubishi Eclipse, and the 05' Nissan 350Z both for similar reasons... they got a... GREAT ASS!. In my opinion Nissan is like the Brazilian race of cars, so many Nissan models have these amazing round curvacious asses. I also love the 350/370Z's rear for the fact it's tires are so wide set and it's got these big curvy hips (rear fenders) it's kind of the equivalent of a girl having wide hips and leg gap. The big tailpipes are pretty hot too, kind of like a girl with plump camel toe.

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Plus the Eclipse's permanent expression amuses me lol.. it's got this shocked expression like someone just poked it in the butt. lol

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Following close under that would probably be the modern Chevy Camaro. You might find it interesting that to me, the newest models look LESS sexy then the models previous. The Camaro is probably one of those examples where I feel like I'm gay as long as they're cars... because the Camaros are very masculine looking. For me, rear end and hips really play a big part in a car's sexiness. The Camaro has hips for DAYS!

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I also find the Camaro's aggressive angry persona quite attractive, he's kinda got this dangerous 'don't mess with me' vibe that kinda gives you this feeling of risk like you're messing with this powerful beast that'll rip your face off if you anger it. Kinda sexy thinking about that the persona is all grumpy and defensive but maybe deep down it's hiding a desire to have you touch it. X 3

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It's actually something I find kind of amusing. All these macho guys buying Camaros and Mustangs and all these cars that look all aggressive thinking it makes them look scary. When people like me actually think their cars look sexier because of it. Makes me wonder sometimes if that's why people get so defensive and angry about people like me. Like it hurts their ego to think someone thinks their badass car is sexy.

Ahh, so you're more likely to go for Renault Megane types?

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You didn't answer my second question by the way.

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

You've really thought this stuff through, Dude. Interesting concepts.

 

[Half-dude]

Ahh, so you're more likely to go for Renault Megane types?
You didn't answer my second question by the way.

Close! Though that abrupt angle midway up it's rear really hurts it's look, it just looks weird.. like someone tightened a belt and is squeezing it's asscheeks in half. O__o

A car close to that one I love is the '01 Audi TT (tittie)

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I noticed that, sorry. I have no idea who the Smiths are. XD

You've really thought this stuff through, Dude. Interesting concepts.

That's what I do. XD

BTW Ever wondered how the nuclear cars from Fallout 3 worked? Took the liberty of overthinking a lot and showing a possible design. XD I had to do a bunch of studying into nuclear power just to do this!

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[CWCissey]

Close! Though that abrupt angle midway up it's rear really hurts it's look, it just looks weird.. like someone tightened a belt and is squeezing it's asscheeks in half. O__o

A car close to that one I love is the '01 Audi TT (tittie)

I noticed that, sorry. I have no idea who the Smiths are. XD

Ahh that's fair. I have you down as a fan of Madness or Gary Numan anyway.

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Any thoughts on the new Aston?

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[Trans Fat 41g]

There was something special about the cars we never got to see in action in Fallout. Hopefully Fallout 4 gives you (and us) a closer animated look at those.