Happy 2023 - Drunk Spergery

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Chantal and Salad break up by Valentine's Day.

Peetz doesn't transition but cross dresses annoyingly more often.

Tommy Tooter is going to wither away.

Amberlynn has numerous health scares and becomes apartment bound.

Neginald (Negz) gets arrested for something stupid and Memaw (DCMedia) leaves him.

Dylan Mulvaney becomes crusty and more disgusting.

Chris Chan gets out of jail under conditions of release.

Nader is found innocent, Crazy Mae goes insane.

Tammy Slaton dies from FAT.
 
It will be revealed that Rekieta tried to have a threesome with Vic.
Ralph will have a stroke and get a permanent sloopy face.
Fuentez will be hospitalized due to choking on mcdonalds.
 
Chris Chan leaves the Jail of Fail.

Cyraxx gets caught in another sting, and potentially gets in real trouble.

Peetz goes activates full troonout

A cunning copyright lawyer realises the controversy of AI image generation can be used to further strengthen copyright, weaken fair use and rape the average person harder than ever before.
 
  • Ethan Ralph will be beaten again. He will also most likely develop the affliction that will kill him someday, whatever that may be (could be instant death via cartel, could be heart failure, spin the wheel Farms)
  • KingCobraJFS has broken the seal on trouble with law enforcement and will be arrested or harassed by cops at least twice next year. He will have a blowout with Clint and then Clint will go back to coddling him again within two days, tops
  • Chris's trial will be delayed until the last quarter of the year and he will be released with time served. The state has never wanted responsibility for the teflon tard and they will not take it now. Barb will survive 2023 but the house will be gone
  • DSP will be doing the same shit he's done every other year, with regularly timed drama blowups (exacerbated by him, on purpose) roughly three times a year. He will crowdfund a stream upgrade that will become vaporware by year's end. He will not be divorced, but maybe in 2024
  • Amberlynn Reid will still be on her weightloss journey and will still be fat and I STILL WOULDN'T HAVE SEX WITH HER!!!
  • Tamers12345 will be elected President of the United States. Kanye will show up dead in a river in mid-January or else will start an illustrious career sucking dick for cock on Pornhub
So mote it be and the Witches' Circle
 
News Events:
  • Andrew Tate will be convicted, and get some extremely long prison sentence, i.e. 666 years, or gets executed publicly. If the latter happens, then his body will be used as a "DESIGNATED SHITTING SPOT".
  • Canada will go further all-in on their MAiD policies, removing any actual medical evaluations to perform them, remove all age limits to then (so Canada returns to the Spartan era of offing "defective" babies), and somehow includes the Convoy Truckers, or anyone with the "Freedom Convoy" gene or symptoms, to be mandatorily given MAiD, no questions asked.
  • Xinnie the Pooh will re-instate their Zero COVID policies again, and go even further with that. Chinese news media will make fake footage of people dying in mass in other countries, as in the 100 GORILLION DEAD NO IPHONE VUVUZELA deal, will start up a mass extermination plan for pets (because COVID bad), and even go as far as chaining people up in their homes, in addition to sealing up doors and windows.
  • Chris somehow goes free, for reasons. Someone then gives Chris a free place to live for life, no questions asked, and we have more Chris material to see, maybe even a return to the Classic Age of Chris, in a bastardized form.
Games:

  • Blizzard doesn't provide the updates for World of Warcraft, as shown in their roadmap. Many updates will be either be massively delayed until next year, or outright cancelled.
  • Diablo 4 becomes a financial flop, that support for the game is dropped, and they go all-in on Diablo Immortal for the future of the franchise.
  • Fire Emblem Engage will be either Battlefield 2042 or Pokémon Scarlet/Violet levels of unpolished, yet the game will still sell very well. And commence their fandom being even more insufferable, just because.
  • DOTA 2's The international prize pool will be even lower than last year's one, which was already less than half of 2021's TI. (2021 TI: $40 million -> 2022 TI: $18 million -> 2023 TI: $8 million)
  • The Smash community will keep on playing Smash Melee, and Nintendo seethes so hard, that they pay the CCP to send tanks to Smash Melee tournaments. A Tiananmen Square 2.0 picture is made, this time being two smelly men playing Smash Melee, with a tank facing them. The tank kills a lot of people, and yet people will still play Smash Melee.
  • A Korean team will win League of Legends's Worlds, for obvious reasons.
 
More globohomo shenanigans

Doomer take would be us directly getting into a slapfight with glowies and feds due to some stupid reason. Optimistic take would be some troons who caused the BS last year 41% or get themselves into a deep yet, funny shit, some lolcows we know get themselves into a really retarded situation. Hell it already happened with Andrew Tate, though it was a day before new year's eve.

Also ADF makes a return, Jack Scalfani gets a 4th-5th stroke that debilitates him further and yet he still continues to film, even while he's drooling thanks to his wife for pitybux, and we find the whereabouts of Dobson.
 
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