/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

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I fucking despise Rotten Tomatoes. An entire nerdy middle class, middle aged wankfest, devoted to smugly mocking people for enjoying whatever the fuck they want, just because they didn't read some overly long cinema history book.
I just ask myself if I'm entertained by a movie. If I am it's a good movie, if I'm not it's a bad movie. I'll take cheesy dialog and silly rubber masks over something that dull. Like, I enjoyed the short Heck a lot more then Skinamarink. Damn movie was too long for what it was doing.
 
I had this crazy random thought the other night, what if Rob Zombie directed Funny Games 2008? Would it be shot-for-shot, or his own vision?
 
I fucking despise Rotten Tomatoes. An entire nerdy middle class, middle aged wankfest, devoted to smugly mocking people for enjoying whatever the fuck they want, just because they didn't read some overly long cinema history book.
The fact that Chris-Chan's almost as autistic half-brother is an actual "Tomatometer" critic says all you need to know. It used to be at least semi-useful before they started outright rigging the ratings.
 
The second part of 28 Years Later is getting the "Fuck you, it's January!" treatment along this movie that's just Cujo, but with a chimpanzee (and the critics love it apparently)

 
The second part of 28 Years Later is getting the "Fuck you, it's January!" treatment along this movie that's just Cujo, but with a chimpanzee (and the critics love it apparently)

Oooooohhhhh. That's a chimp, I thought that was this year's version of Sinners. Now it makes more sense.

As for 28 Years, part one was trash and you're taking away the at least competent director who actually has made something decent (granted it's been about a decade and a half) and replacing him with a literal retard. It's possible it will be so bad it's good, but I think it's just going to be boring and stupid. Even moreso than Part 1.
 
The second part of 28 Years Later is getting the "Fuck you, it's January!" treatment along this movie that's just Cujo, but with a chimpanzee (and the critics love it apparently)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=wo87F-va410
SO someone saw the Gordy killing scene from Nope and decided to make a movie of it. Goodie I guess.

Since his name is Ben I'm surprised they didn't make a somber scarier version of the Michael Jackson song as trailer music:
 
Well chimps can fuck up someone pretty bad, so hope there's gonna be at least some decent gore.
And it all started by people letting out chimps that has been experimented on. Could be a good full circle, end the story sort of moment.
 
The second part of 28 Years Later is getting the "Fuck you, it's January!" treatment along this movie that's just Cujo, but with a chimpanzee (and the critics love it apparently)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=wo87F-va410
I don't know what it is about some modern movies, maybe the way they're shot or something, but the movie always looks off in some way. I think they made the chimp act too human, at least from what I can see from the trailers. It's kind of goofy with how he acts. I think I'll stick with Monkey Shines and Shakma.
 
I think they made the chimp act too human, at least from what I can see from the trailers. It's kind of goofy with how he acts.
This chimp is more intelligent than he's supposed to be. The opening the car trunk scene borders on the Planet of the Apes reboot series territory.
 
I don't know if it qualifies as Horror or maybe Suspense, but I saw The Housemaid by Paul Feig. You know what? It was okay. It's an entertaining but deeply flawed movie. Spoilers ahead.

First thing to get off the ground, this is a pre-existing book and it's in the same genre of women's literature as borderline smut feminist fantasy. I can totally see why it's popular and why women would eat this slop up. That being said, Paul Feig and his team didn't write any of this so the good and the bad of the writing is not what I judge the movie on, but rather presentation. The general outline is a pretty faithful adaptation apparently except for a few minor changes.

The good is that Feig manages to get quite a bit out of Amanda Seyfried and Sydney Sweeney. There's a good dynamic early on where neither character is presented as dumb to the mental games being played and both have intentions that aren't being revealed. He even gets Sweeney to go nude which is always a plus in my book. I think is the guy's name is Brandon Sklenar or something like that, also does a decent job. It's a pretty fun ride for a solid 2/3 of the movie. The final leg though, has two major problems.

The first is Paul Feig's feminist fucking preaching. Holy mother of God this faggot cannot and will not shut the fuck up. This movie is not a 2 hour movie. The last 15 minutes of it are absolutely fucking pointless. It's just more Feminist Pandering by Paul Feig. This man just has no fucking restraint whatsoever. The movie and story are done with by the 1:45 mark, but he insists on dragging it out longer, and changing the ending solely so he can have more Girl Power dialogue for literally no reason. Did nobody ever tell this faggot no? The cop scene is pointless but he changes the male cop to a female cop because muh women. The funeral scene is mostly pointless. You could jump to the last minute and miss nothing. Someone needs to tell him to learn to put his foot in his mouth.

The other problem is Sydney Sweeney. I finally understand why Hollywood hates her so much. She is an actress born in the wrong time. She's a more toned down and restrained actress and is best suited for serious roles. However, we live in a post Marvel Quippy 2025 Hollywood Meta where serious actors and actresses don't exist, even if it's for the worst. She is ill suited for an industry that demands every other line be some half baked joke. The moment she's asked to chew scenery, she just can't do it. She sounds forced, bored, wooden, and is simply incapable of it. She can't be over the top. I think Paul Feig realized this. Sweeney's scenes toward the ending have a much choppier editing style to them compared to the rest of the movie and I think he tried to rush through this part as quickly as possible. I decided to look up the book, and Sweeney's role at the end should've been a little bit longer. I largely suspect Paul Feig saw how wooden she could be and realized these scenes were unusable and decided to cut down her role in the ending. That's why there's so much pandering bull crap at the end. I don't have any proof of this, but it would make sense. I'm not saying Sweeney isn't good, but her range is clearly limited.
 
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