How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

My life is a dumpster fire again, after some peaceful winter months. Health issues, school, etc. combined to create the worst times of my life. But that isn’t the reason I’m here today.
My Lolita, for lack of a better descriptor, is the sole light of my life and I fear that light may have been extinguished. My misery runs through my body, I can feel my soul twinging in heartache. I cannot see this being the end of our tangled affair.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury- I wept.

Update: Last night we agreed to marry while Lo was drunk and I delirious on painkillers.
 
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This just in Kiwis, cooking is great for my anxiety. Am I good at it? Yet to be seen. But I have something that works and damn does it feel good
Something very comforting is to cook nearly any kind of stew, chili, roast, or whatever for a full day while braising it fills the house with a soothing aroma. It's almost like being a normal person.
 
That project I had been working on with the pedo crap for organization... it's coming along. over 300 folders. Yay me. I find out more stuff ever time I work on it, then I get to do other things for a few days because it's so damn heavy I can't take it.

Was trying new stuff for health issues. Told some people I don't trust that I was going to start working out in a different fashion recently. The thing is, every time I try to do this thing, oddly that health issue that almost killed me just pops up out of the blue, like it's externally caused. I wanted to see what happened. My health is been pretty good lately and the moment I was away from those people, oddly the health issue, which had been manageable for several months, went insane on me for many hours. How interesting. My suspicions to say something were correct.
I'm still going to up my game health wise though. I won't become a /fit/bro, but sometimes a guy needs to be better than he is.

Past those things, been in a pretty good mood. Having fun watching people I think are filth expose who they are in front of the eyes of the world. I have loads of popcorn and soda for the shows. I hope you all are doing well.
[/Magepress blog]
 
Writing a thesis (about a quite upbeat topic) with all of the shit in the world going on right now feels surreal.

I'm okay otherwise. Just incredibly tired.
You know, the kind of tired that neither sleep nor coffee can fix.
But I can do this. I'll pull through.
 
My life is a dumpster fire again, after some peaceful winter months. Health issues, school, etc. combined to create the worst times of my life. But that isn’t the reason I’m here today.
My Lolita, for lack of a better descriptor, is the sole light of my life and I fear that light may have been extinguished. My misery runs through my body, I can feel my soul twinging in heartache. I cannot see this being the end of our tangled affair.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury- I wept.

Update: Last night we agreed to marry in a gas station while Lo was drunk and I delirious on painkillers.
Update: It’s over. Part of me is relieved that I no longer have to endure this, and another part of me is in despair. But the remaining majority part of me feels nothing. I can only move forward and learn.

I suppose I’ll handle this the same way I handled it in October and onwards: Kiwifarms fueled omegacope. Laughing at the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe always soothed my soul in a way that nothing else could. It’s better than therapy.
 
gonna be 19 in just a few days. when i turned 17 i felt like i hadn't really grown much and i wasn't 'ready' to be a year older now but now i think i'm good to go. i'm honestly surprised at the fact that i've actually been maturing naturally. idk. young people problems
 
I'm good. I always say that and I don't mean it at all. I just don't see the point of telling people how I'm really doing. I don't like dumping my feelings and my troubles on people. I don't want advice, I don't really want to vent because I'm at an age where I am very careful about who I trust. My mom likes to gossip and my dad likes to fix things. They're both in their 70s and they don't need to hear about my issues, I don't want to dump on my husband because he'll immediately think it's something he did (only child, a little self-centered), I don't want to dump on my friends, so anytime anyone asks, I always answer I'm doing good, how are you? To which they'll tell me how they're doing, I listen, help where I can, give advice if needed and I feel a lot better because I stop ruminating about my own maladies and I genuinely enjoy taking care of others.
 
Almost had a mental breakdown from following Covid, immigration, LGBT, politics and the Ukraine war, so i banned everything remotely current event related from my life (apart from this site) and going to live my life in ignorance, happy thoughts and games from this day onward. So far it has gone pretty well and if a nuke is to find me i hope it brings lube because i am running out.
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