Getting back on the dating apps is rough. The more I swipe, the more I start to turn into a misogynist. It doesn't help that I'm an atheist that isn't some left-wing socialist dipshit.
I'm kind of at a crossroads now. Part of me wants to keep dating for adventure because I always come back with wild stories for my friends. Part of me wants something serious. That part of me has severe doubts that is possible. I've seen too much, except for what I'm actually looking for. It's literally not out there. It doesn't help that I can't talk to women for the sole fact that I'm completely disinterested in, divorced from, and disgusted by pop culture.
It makes a man wonder. How close is close to a woman? What are you even supposed to share in common? Is my disgust unreasonable? Are you just supposed to find a pretty face to fuck? I've always wanted more than that, but I genuinely feel that anything other is just a western cultural folktale and the real world has never worked that way. That we all follow some biological script and then window dress it with what's culturally acceptable, all the while we do what we've done for millions of years.
And women's naked and obvious lust for material possessions is really getting to me. Maybe I'm rich, maybe I'm poor. Who can say? Either way, I don't want the women I date to comprehend my money situation. Because it seems like either they are attracted to what I can provide them, or they get upset that I can't feed their impulsivity.
Fuck me, man, it just hit me.
What a sad state of affairs the world is in when I come to kiwifarms primarily to chat about "big topics" or more substantial things. That's why I'm here, it's not for the cows, it's to read real ideas that isn't regurgitated socially approved horseshit.