How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Woodchipper]

How did you do burn yourself like that?

Edit: muh fingies look like a 'roo baby now

Spoiler: Forbidden Gummy Worms

Hurts like hell but I'm very happy I'm in the clear as far as infection goes. Time to go home, rattle my pill bottles and holler about whorses, I reckon

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

Update!
They're going to skin my fingers, so here comes that straight fent
Also, barring anything bad found in my blood samples I'm currently in the clear as far as infection, so heck yeah.
I know some of you are just as morbidly curious as myself and this is the most unique wound I've had, so here's what it presently looks like.

Spoiler: Burn Dox

View attachment 5494936

Will update once the burned areas have been removed and cleaned

jesus christ dude, are you going to make a complete recovery?

 

[Woodchipper]

jesus christ dude, are you going to make a complete recovery?

Oh yeah, just have to stretch the hand hourly to prevent permanent stiffness and keep the antibiotic bandages changed. Luckily I'm at a good hospital and they're sending me home with all the wound care supplies I need until I meet with wound care and hand surgeon next week. Burn unit ladies are experienced and they're quite confident I'll be solid by this time next month.

 

[AnOminous]

Oh yeah, just have to stretch the hand hourly to prevent permanent stiffness and keep the antibiotic bandages changed.

That's going to suck. But being able to use your hand afterwards is definitely worth it. Had an injury once where I had to break open the webbing between the fingers on one hand basically daily to make sure it didn't scar together in a less movable way.

Whiskey helped!

 

[Woodchipper]

That's going to suck. But being able to use your hand afterwards is definitely worth it. Had an injury once where I had to break open the webbing between the fingers on one hand basically daily to make sure it didn't scar together in a less movable way.

Whiskey helped!

That's fuckin' gnarly man but life's better without a gimpy flipper.
Yeah, not looking forward to it but I somewhat neglected the PT following an injury to my ACL+meniscus and I feel the results of that apathy whenever it rains so I'll definitely be tending to this on the hour.
Wish I could drink but oxycodone will be more than enough. Just glad they weren't fags about prescribing it.

 

[Betonhaus]

My stitches are pretty gnarly but my foot seems to be healing fine. I have an airboot I wear outside and as needed but I'm so happy to have the cast off. It seems my foot is curved inwards a bit so I might have some physio to ensure I'm not walking on the side of my foot all the time.

Spoiler: Gnarly stitches

 

[Dude Snakes]

View attachment 5495007
Edit: muh fingies look like a 'roo baby now

Spoiler: Forbidden Gummy Worms

View attachment 5495090View attachment 5495096

Hurts like hell but I'm very happy I'm in the clear as far as infection goes. Time to go home, rattle my pill bottles and holler about whorses, I reckon

Was this an accident or a bet? Touching molten metal is nuts. I hope it heals. As for me I'm mad at the state of the world but feel powerless to change it. Im mad then I'm sad. My finances are shit.

All that said I have a living family to back me up. On top of that we are going to see a 3 year old cocapoo ie cocker spaniel poodle cross if she would be good for us. I'm excited and hope Sadie my 8 year old golden retriever will be okay with a second dog in her life.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

I'm in a weird state. I've been in super doomer mode lately and it's really been getting me down. The arts especially. I guess right now I'm wondering how the hell anyone can actually take off and get noticed with new creative works. It feels like even Youtube is a dead platform for anything creative. So that's got me in a rut, wondering how I'm going to move forward to make anything and get it seen.

I'm also at a stage where everything is objectively fine but I feel like I should be further along in life. When looking at it from a further perspective, I've made incredible improvements in this year alone compared to the last... ten. I've lost weight, have a semi-decent job, gotten better at socializing and things can get a lot better at the start of next year for me. But it feels like too little too late. I thought I'd be taking on the world and doing really incredibly things by now, but I got lost in a lot of (somewhat justifiable) anguish and pain for a long ass time and am only just recently making real progress. People really don't elaborate how painful and isolating actual self-improvement can be sometimes. It's worth it but damn it's really difficult to make progress sometimes. Especially if you have the mentality that it's never enough, because the truth is... it isn't and that way of thinking is the only thing that has actually helped me change anything consistently.

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

I'm in a weird state. I've been in super doomer mode lately and it's really been getting me down. The arts especially. I guess right now I'm wondering how the hell anyone can actually take off and get noticed with new creative works. It feels like even Youtube is a dead platform for anything creative. So that's got me in a rut, wondering how I'm going to move forward to make anything and get it seen.

You're the one that made that one thread awhile back, right? I totally understand where you're coming from. You're not the only one that thinks this. I've told people, if you had a great idea for a band, who would join? Nobody, because every kid today wants to be a rap nigger. It's hard to be creative when the society around you has such stunted minds. I've rambled autistically on the forums for my love of 80s new-wave era music, and surprisingly only on the farms do people recognize the source of my avatar--blows me the fuck away, because everyone in real life insults my music taste while they listen to garbo mumble rap dogshit. It makes me mean because I really hate how uncreative our society is, how everyone needs paint-by-number plotlines in movies and all the music is overproduced generic-sounding beats with a fast-talking nigger spouting antisocial babyrhymes. I have a few friends online where we complain about this shit all the time.

It doesn't help that now the arts demand you to speak with a progressive message in everything you do. It's an insidious control campaign and these people need <censored to avoid triggering my assigned FBI agent>.

I'm guessing you're thinking this but didn't want to sound too self-absorbed--that most people just don't appreciate anything creative, and you wonder how you could do something new and innovative and be appreciated. I feel the same way. The average person today is such a programmed cookie-cutter piece of shit.

I'm also at a stage where everything is objectively fine but I feel like I should be further along in life. When looking at it from a further perspective, I've made incredible improvements in this year alone compared to the last... ten. I've lost weight, have a semi-decent job, gotten better at socializing and things can get a lot better at the start of next year for me. But it feels like too little too late. I thought I'd be taking on the world and doing really incredibly things by now, but I got lost in a lot of (somewhat justifiable) anguish and pain for a long ass time and am only just recently making real progress. People really don't elaborate how painful and isolating actual self-improvement can be sometimes. It's worth it but damn it's really difficult to make progress sometimes. Especially if you have the mentality that it's never enough, because the truth is... it isn't and that way of thinking is the only thing that has actually helped me change anything consistently.

I also feel the same way. It feels like unless you're deep in the same world everyone else is, you're socially stunted. I thought that way. Then I got out of a terrible relationship with an absolute fucking psycho, and dated some more and realized that I really wasn't the broken one. These people are all pretending and they're just really fucking dishonest and obsessed with their pride. Most people are absolute trainwrecks behind the shiny smiling exterior. You need to remind yourself that other people in our society truly are fucked. Just look at all the time they spend on tiktok, and the fact they think that bullshit has value and is worth sticking in their brains. This is just a real sick society, and it's not your fault.

I complain a lot about my lack of ability to talk to people. It's for a lack of having anything to say to them. I enjoy working on my little projects, learning, discovery, doing things. You can't get other people to do anything anymore. They just want to sit around, smoke weed, listen to rap music or electronic bullshit, and talk about the shitty things they saw on TV or some real basic normie-tier internet shit. I don't know know how many times I've uncomfortably hung around fatnerds and they talk about shit like which Final Fantasy game is the best with a passion the subject matter doesn't deserve. (It's FF6 by the way.) And they're ignorant, and listening to their theories on what is going wrong in the world is painful. Most people live in a very simplistic and superstitious little world and they kind of get angry when you tell them they are wrong, they call you a know-it-all when they're a know-nothing.

You read old letters from people in the past, there was that heritage of wanting to make new things, create new things, discover new things. That doesn't exist anymore. Even academia is mostly a process, everything must be formalized, and everything must be done with permission to get the grant money. Independent drive is really rare these days.

Don't judge yourself in relation to other people.

End disjointed rant.

 

[DoomsdayElite]

I'm getting over a particularly stubborn cold. Had to plug my damn nose up with tissues last night because it wouldn't stop running. It seems like everyone I know is sick. I went to see a friend yesterday and he was asleep when I showed up around 1:00, which is unusual for him. I could hear him hacking away as he came to the door so this shit has really gotten around. We tried to make the best of it. Smoked a couple bowls. I played peekaboo with his one year old daughter, who's starting to recognize me when I come over.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

I'm guessing you're thinking this but didn't want to sound too self-absorbed--that most people just don't appreciate anything creative, and you wonder how you could do something new and innovative and be appreciated. I feel the same way. The average person today is such a programmed cookie-cutter piece of shit.

You read old letters from people in the past, there was that heritage of wanting to make new things, create new things, discover new things. That doesn't exist anymore. Even academia is mostly a process, everything must be formalized, and everything must be done with permission to get the grant money. Independent drive is really rare these days.

Don't judge yourself in relation to other people.

Thanks for all the kind words man. I really appreciate it.
I guess my issue is... "So then what?"
I refuse to just sit on my ass consuming shit and being depressed about reality anymore. At this point it literally is "Fight or die" for me. I would unironically rather be dead than live in a world I know I have no way of positively affecting.
I've unironically thought of trying to move in any way I can. I know to a lot of rightleaning americans think that's unpatriotic and cringe or whatever. But I legitimately want to ask the more rightwing people who say that if that's just cope. At a certain point, you just have to fuck off and leave. The boat's sinking and staying on out of pride isn't going to stop that. I'm not saying that it isn't bad in other countries. Obviously parts of the EU are fucked. But this complete rape of the arts is for the most part primarily in America. I've still seen several classics come from Europe in the most recent years. Fucking CHINA has released some of my all-time favorites in the last... 5 years.
I know the right thing to say is "the system is broken but we need to fix it" or "I still love this country even if I hate what's happening to it". But honestly, I kind of hate every single thing this country represents anymore. I'm not saying things would be perfect anywhere and in some ways they're further down the spiral than we are but they at least they still MAKE shit. They make shit that expresses how desolate things are. They don't ream us with capeshit and a sequel to a reboot that tells us that "things are perfect, mmkay."
I'm not going to become a fucking Passport Bro, but I do want a change of scenery and I don't think that's wrong.

I just think the issue is the only thing most people have anymore are copes. Every single thing I've seen given by advice or used as a mantra by people is a cope. And not in an honest "things are absolutely fucked but we can't all kill ourselves so let's find a way of survival" way. It's just pure unadulterated cope on the verge of self-hypnosis for accepting the unfunctioning world people were given. I think if somehow we entered a period of social prosperity again, we'd have some of the greatest minds ever write/make/create some really beautiful stuff due to how much fucked up shit their generation deal with. But for right now, the best anyone with a soul can do is cope.
And I don't want to be that guy anymore. I actually want to try to bring great things into this world and help people who are similar to me. I can't do that just accepting Clown World.

I know I'm probably not helping my look of being a depressed autistic faggot on here so I'll stop there.
I don't want to give up hope. I've come a long way from what I've been dealt. I just want to see a better world in my life time and I don't know how much just being a slave to this shit is going to help that. At this point I really have almost nothing to lose.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

At this point I really have almost nothing to lose.

So...go. Pick a place, stack some coin, make your plans (a lot or a little) and just...go. Why not?

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

Thanks for all the kind words man. I really appreciate it.
I guess my issue is... "So then what?"
I refuse to just sit on my ass consuming shit and being depressed about reality anymore. At this point it literally is "Fight or die" for me. I would unironically rather be dead than live in a world I know I have no way of positively affecting.
I've unironically thought of trying to move in any way I can. I know to a lot of rightleaning americans think that's unpatriotic and cringe or whatever. But I legitimately want to ask the more rightwing people who say that if that's just cope. At a certain point, you just have to fuck off and leave. The boat's sinking and staying on out of pride isn't going to stop that. I'm not saying that it isn't bad in other countries. Obviously parts of the EU are fucked. But this complete rape of the arts is for the most part primarily in America. I've still seen several classics come from Europe in the most recent years. Fucking CHINA has released some of my all-time favorites in the last... 5 years.

Trust me, I get everything you're saying, and I don't think there's anything wrong with pouring your heart out or "whining" or just talking about these things. It's a very real thing people aren't addressing. The social justice cult isn't just making life experientially bad, it's robbing people of their dreams.

And yes, rightleaning Americans have this patriotism cult inside them, but the red, white, and blue isn't going to stand for the same thing after these boomers are gone, and it's gonna be ugly. I've had the same thoughts of leaving myself. I can tell you that the culture in Europe, other than the faggy socialist shit and other eurowhining stuff, it's just better. When I'm there it kind of feels like home in a strange way that American locations don't give me.

I know the right thing to say is "the system is broken but we need to fix it" or "I still love this country even if I hate what's happening to it". But honestly, I kind of hate every single thing this country represents anymore. I'm not saying things would be perfect anywhere and in some ways they're further down the spiral than we are but they at least they still MAKE shit. They make shit that expresses how desolate things are. They don't ream us with capeshit and a sequel to a reboot that tells us that "things are perfect, mmkay."

You're damn right, and I've ranted about this exact same stuff to Europeans and they just couldn't believe me and thought I was being a faggot, but you see it the way I do. Seriously dude, you're not alone in these kinds of worries.

I'm not going to become a fucking Passport Bro, but I do want a change of scenery and I don't think that's wrong.

I just think the issue is the only thing most people have anymore are copes. Every single thing I've seen given by advice or used as a mantra by people is a cope. And not in an honest "things are absolutely fucked but we can't all kill ourselves so let's find a way of survival" way. It's just pure unadulterated cope on the verge of self-hypnosis for accepting the unfunctioning world people were given. I think if somehow we entered a period of social prosperity again, we'd have some of the greatest minds ever write/make/create some really beautiful stuff due to how much fucked up shit their generation deal with. But for right now, the best anyone with a soul can do is cope.
And I don't want to be that guy anymore. I actually want to try to bring great things into this world and help people who are similar to me. I can't do that just accepting Clown World.

And it's hard, because when it comes to creativity and art, your success depends on what other people enjoy your output, and in a world that trains people to eat from the pig's trough, it seems like you either make this degenerative childish garbage shit, or are excluded. It seems like all literature or movies require some great LGBT or race social justice message or the white women and fags that act as tastemakers and editors will exclude you.

I know I'm probably not helping my look of being a depressed autistic faggot on here so I'll stop there.
I don't want to give up hope. I've come a long way from what I've been dealt. I just want to see a better world in my life time and I don't know how much just being a slave to this shit is going to help that. At this point I really have almost nothing to lose.

No, you're just being human. KF kind of discourages showing any kind of emotion becuase it's a heckler's troll den, but this thread isn't really the place for that. And you're not wrong. It's very harrowing to look down this future. Fuck, I chose this username for a reason, dude.

I would suggest visiting Europe for an extended period of time, if you can.

But do not tie in your feeling of self-worth to the approval of the everyman or their tastes. Don't tell yourself you're a failure because lesser minds don't appreciate you. It's okay to be misanthropic, it's okay to be a bit anti-social, and it's okay not to have the collectivistic socialist priorities other Millennials and Gen Zers are trying to shove down your throat. It's okay to rebel against the modern world.

 

[Judex Meus]

Do you ever get so stressed that you kind of just stop feeling anything? Like at the end of the day, you don't even want to do the usual stuff to relax like watching TV, play vidya, whatever. It's not depression exactly, where you feel miserable and down on yourself, but you just kind of shut down mentally and can't bring yourself to do much else besides going to sleep so you can deal with another day.

There's been a lot going on with work and extended family stuff - not one thing in particular, but a bunch of independent, unrelated factors that have kind of just piled up all at once. There's not really one major factor that I can point to, but it's just reached the point where I don't really know how else to process it besides suppressing it and waiting it out.

I don't mean for this to sound edgy or melodramatic. I just want to check if this is normal or if I snapped and need to see someone or something. There's been a number of times where I've been pretty stressed like with school and other stuff that I've been able to deal with, but this is the first time where I've really felt everything just turn off and go blank.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Do you ever get so stressed that you kind of just stop feeling anything? Like at the end of the day, you don't even want to do the usual stuff to relax like watching TV, play vidya, whatever. It's not depression exactly, where you feel miserable and down on yourself, but you just kind of shut down mentally and can't bring yourself to do much else besides going to sleep so you can deal with another day.

There's been a lot going on with work and extended family stuff - not one thing in particular, but a bunch of independent, unrelated factors that have kind of just piled up all at once. There's not really one major factor that I can point to, but it's just reached the point where I don't really know how else to process it besides suppressing it and waiting it out.

I don't mean for this to sound edgy or melodramatic. I just want to check if this is normal or if I snapped and need to see someone or something. There's been a number of times where I've been pretty stressed like with school and other stuff that I've been able to deal with, but this is the first time where I've really felt everything just turn off and go blank.

Yes. And there's nothing wrong with seeing someone about it.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

Do you ever get so stressed that you kind of just stop feeling anything? Like at the end of the day, you don't even want to do the usual stuff to relax like watching TV, play vidya, whatever. It's not depression exactly, where you feel miserable and down on yourself, but you just kind of shut down mentally and can't bring yourself to do much else besides going to sleep so you can deal with another day.

The joke is that primarily is what depression actually is. I'll never understand the "can't get out of bed" stuff but the truth is actual capital D depression isn't that you feel sad or despondent. You just fucking shut down. You don't even feel feelings.
And I would say that honestly, maybe you're doing the right thing. I can't give the best mental advice. But I think one of the biggest issues in the modern era is people try to give advice for sometimes insurmountable pain. You can only lookmaxx, firm-handshake, pray and stoic your way through so much. Some shit people go through is just objectively fucking painful and will take a while to deal with.
I don't care what anyone says or if it's cope. I still think the fact that I can get up every day, go through the motions and try to work towards a better future for myself slowly and haven't unloaded a 22. in my mouth, or are bitching about how I feel or finding some boogeyman to hunt on twitter or discord, is INFINITELY more respectable than half of the shit people are doing to cope with shit in their life right now.
You CAN try, you CAN be strong. You can do your best. But ultimately sometimes you just have to deal with the shit you're handed and if just sleeping or not doing some sigma-grind self-masturbatory social climbing, that's completely fine.
If I'm going to use the best example extremely autistic example I can, sometimes life is like that scene that happens two thirds through a movie or series where everything goes to shit, the bad guys win and everyone's left in a state of shell-shock. Can things have a happy ending? Possibly. Can you rise back from this? Eventually. But sometimes you just reach a point in life where you are just knocked back and feel a loss for breath and you realize "Oh shit, this is the reality I'm in now."
It's not your fault. It's not something you should feel guilty about. Sometimes it's just better to reach almost catatonic, muscle-memory levels of existing because even if you try to suppress it and strongarm your way through, it will cling onto you and create worse situations for you if you don't ever properly grieve or rest.
Things can get better, but not going at 100% or even barely interacting with the world for some time is the best thing you can do. Hope things work out my man.

Trust me, I get everything you're saying, and I don't think there's anything wrong with pouring your heart out or "whining" or just talking about these things. It's a very real thing people aren't addressing. The social justice cult isn't just making life experientially bad, it's robbing people of their dreams.
And yes, rightleaning Americans have this patriotism cult inside them, but the red, white, and blue isn't going to stand for the same thing after these boomers are gone, and it's gonna be ugly. I've had the same thoughts of leaving myself. I can tell you that the culture in Europe, other than the faggy socialist shit and other eurowhining stuff, it's just better. When I'm there it kind of feels like home in a strange way that American locations don't give me.
You're damn right, and I've ranted about this exact same stuff to Europeans and they just couldn't believe me and thought I was being a faggot, but you see it the way I do. Seriously dude, you're not alone in these kinds of worries.
And it's hard, because when it comes to creativity and art, your success depends on what other people enjoy your output, and in a world that trains people to eat from the pig's trough, it seems like you either make this degenerative childish garbage shit, or are excluded. It seems like all literature or movies require some great LGBT or race social justice message or the white women and fags that act as tastemakers and editors will exclude you.
No, you're just being human. KF kind of discourages showing any kind of emotion becuase it's a heckler's troll den, but this thread isn't really the place for that. And you're not wrong. It's very harrowing to look down this future. Fuck, I chose this username for a reason, dude.

I would suggest visiting Europe for an extended period of time, if you can.
But do not tie in your feeling of self-worth to the approval of the everyman or their tastes. Don't tell yourself you're a failure because lesser minds don't appreciate you. It's okay to be misanthropic, it's okay to be a bit anti-social, and it's okay not to have the collectivistic socialist priorities other Millennials and Gen Zers are trying to shove down your throat. It's okay to rebel against the modern world.

Thank you so much for the support or validation. I really do appreciate it.
I'm trying my best man. And the truth is things aren't bad when I take a step back and look at things from a distance. I just got back from watching some horror movies with a friend I made just recently, who also is on the same wavelength as me. I actually have a job where I'm allowed to be myself and get to be around a bunch of people who are essentially a lot like me while making okay money. I'm going to be making a move to a better state early next year. Things are actually okay. I just end up drowning sometimes in the memories of the past and how cringe/dumb I've been and the stuff shitty people put me through that I allowed in a way to happen to me. I've dropped those people and I'm way less of a sperg than I was before. But it just gets to be a lot sometimes. And I never feel like I'm doing enough to reach my dreams/goals, which truthfully I'm not. It's hard to enjoy movies/music nearly as much anymore because I'd rather be making my own stuff than enjoying other peoples' works. Even if it's something I enjoy.
I have some weird hope for art. I realized recently how many good shows/films/"""content"""" came out only 7 years ago or even a little sooner. There is still good stuff being made and the institutions in place are really going out of their way to fuck themselves a lot. So who knows? I just feel like there's no way I'll ever go from working a wage job in bumfuck nowhere to making great films/comics.
I know the whole "just grab a camera and make something" is kind of outdated cope from boomers, but at the end of the day the only way I'm going to make something... is if I make something.
Fuck it, I'll make a one-man film about a dude with no hope who wants to kill himself and I'll pass out copies to people. I'll post it on every single piece of social media I can. I'll start my own film festival and invite the rejects from everywhere else (unless their film is truly shit) and I'll make my own way. I'll fake my death Biyuu style so people pay attention. I'll make my fucking film. If no one else is going to really going to trudge through shit or wait for approval for their shit to be out there, I'll do it for them.
This may just be some manic episode or delusion of grandeur, but I really don't think so. Hell or highwater, in the next couple of months, I'll make my goddamn shitty art film and make sure people watch it. I'm sick of waiting on these faggots and waiting on myself.
Done powerleveling but thank you guys for the support.

 

[.iota.]

Do you ever get so stressed that you kind of just stop feeling anything? Like at the end of the day, you don't even want to do the usual stuff to relax like watching TV, play vidya, whatever. It's not depression exactly, where you feel miserable and down on yourself, but you just kind of shut down mentally and can't bring yourself to do much else besides going to sleep so you can deal with another day.

what you're describing sounds like anhedonia, and yes, it happens. clinically, it can be a symptom of anxiety, depression, stress, and/or trauma, but it can also simply be a funk that you slip into for awhile. if it's having an effect on your ability to do the things that need to be done, or if you're having thoughts that frighten you, see someone.

your mind needs stimulation, but it needs positive stimulation to function well. if everything that you're doing requires your mental energy, but your mind is not being rewarded for providing that energy, you mind essentially says, "fuck it, this is exhausting, why am i doing this" ... and everything begins to lose its appeal.

regardless of how listless, or tired, or utterly uninspired you may feel, do something good for yourself, especially when you're feeling that way. nothing big or bold, just something that releases the tiniest bit of dopamine. that little bit of positive chemical stimulation will help your mind recalibrate. the more little things that you do (chocolate, a hot shower, a walk around the block at sunset), the more your mind will want to engage with the world around you.

this world demands so much of our attention and energy, but it rarely derserves as much as we give it. you deserve your attention. find small things to relish, and allow yourself to do so, without over-indulging or ruminating about what coulda, shoulda, woulda been. allow yourself some grace, if only for a moment. the world will still be here to demand more from you, but you'll be better able to find the beautiful little bits that it also has to offer you.

 

[mannic]

I've fucked up.

 

[LonesomeDud]

I am so hungry and it is borderline enraging to be able to afford food and starving myself of my own free will like a 15 year old in Tumblr.

 

[Skyline Enthusiast]

I got shafted out of my days off of work, pretty much failed NaNoWriMo, got into Black Metal and been outright miserable and bored.