How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[dick brain]

I've pretty much written off this specific job and decided I should probably focus on getting into grad school, but somehow I still feel so anxious about everything going on. I don't know how to avoid this stress, logically I shouldn't be stressed at all.

That's called "being conscientious".

Or CPTSD, take your pick.

 

[56 others]

Pretty bummed that we basically had no winter, but I've pulled the motorcycle out of storage 2 month earlier than usual, so that's nice

So tired tho I went to bed at 7pm

 

[eatler]

Pretty bummed that we basically had no winter

Don’t jinx it man, we’re still in March. We’re not exactly out of the woods yet.

 

[56 others]

Don’t jinx it man, we’re still in March. We’re not exactly out of the woods yet.

I want my fucking snow!

and a late deep freeze to kill all the fucking ticks

 

[The Feline Solution]

Was a gud boi yesterday. Went to my dealers house (GF wants to make edibles today for herself, i don't do anything weed, one toke of a spliff gets me more paranoid and fucked up than being up for four days wired to the gills) and didn't buy or order anything, just played with his cute little dog instead.
Talked to one of my best friends, he wants to go to a korean place on the weekend and i am hyped, it's supposedly one of the best joints in town. It's weird how much i crave social interactions when i am not using, i wasn't a really social person long before i got into drugs but in these phases it really flares up.
Day before that i visit my cousin who wants to cook some elaborate shit for us (pistacchio cream with frutti di mare as an entreé amongst it) and i am hyped for that, too, he's the best cook i know, even if he always pretends he isn't, a là "I am not sure if it will come out good" and then it's some gourmet shit that you could serve in any restaurant.
It's funny how he came out the best cook and not me, we were a restaurant family with multiple places open at a time and my father was the head chef, then again my cousin spent more time with my father than i ever did when he was still alive and most likely loved him more than i ever did, too, because he was the only adult in his life that gave a fuck about him, arguably more of a fuck than my father ever gave about me. Absolutely no hard feelings there, though, my family history and especially my relationship with my father is/was complicated. Plus my cousin was my brother long before my kid brother was born and we are still as tight in adult life as when we were snot-nosed latch key kids. Ah, memories surging up.

Edit: Yeah, fuck me, of course i get fucked every time i feel halfway good. Just got a Gestapo letter how my passport isn't valid since two years and i need to get a new one until the 28th or i risk penalty payments blah blah blah. Not even mad i have to move my ass but a new passport costs 40€ plus the cost for new photos and i just was happy about my wallet looking more healthy thanks to not splurging on drugs and shit. Great introduction in the letter, "As you very well noticed, your passport has been out of date..." which i actually didn't BECAUSE I DON'T USE IT FOR ANYTHING! Bitch, even the niggers in the Jobcentre didn't notice, i got my tugboat last month with it, and last year, too, when i was on bennies for three months!

 

[DenseDeerFather]

Gods dammit Alex Kister. GODS DAMMIT.

(You may give me the top hats. I am, in fact, mad.)

Oh jeez what has he done now?

Pretty bummed that we basically had no winter, but I've pulled the motorcycle out of storage 2 month earlier than usual, so that's nice

So tired tho I went to bed at 7pm

I'd love to give you some of our winter. We got a dick ton of snow in November and early-mid December but it melted before Christmas. Then come January we get a fuck ton of snow again that melts after a few weeks. Then in early February, a snowstorm hits my town and it melts after a week but it's still cold as fuck near freezing temperatures so puddles and slippery shit everywhere.

And they theorized more snow here in March. Fuck off already.

Jobcentre

Damn you got those too? I've grown to fucking hate them. Some of them. Aesthetically we use old school and communal buildings so they have an old fashioned feel to them that makes me think of the time I visited Berlin and saw the old DDR facilities.

Regarding administration, if you're not fucked in the head like I am, they feel very-prison like. Thankfully because I am fucked in the head, I can hold my meetings at home.

Anyway a very mixed day for me. I'm at a gathering place right now where someone thought it would be a good idea to invite an actor and play "theater sports" with us. On one hand, he is kinda cute. On the other hand, I hate the games he's making us do so I just bailed and went out for some fresh air and save my brain from short circuiting.

On the flip side, got a job interview tomorrow regarding the library stuff so I look forward to that. I also look forward to a slightly bigger tugboat next month now that I stopped paying church tax.

 

[The Feline Solution]

Damn you got those too? I've grown to fucking hate them. Some of them. Aesthetically we use old school and communal buildings so they have an old fashioned feel to them that makes me think of the time I visited Berlin and saw the old DDR facilities.

Yeah, we got them.
The buildings and the whole east Berlin aesthetic is nice, if you're ever here again i recommend you take a guided tour through the old Stasi prison in Hohenschönhausen for some real GDR feels, the guide doing these is an ex-inmate and talks extensively about his time in there.

Regarding administration, if you're not fucked in the head like I am, they feel very-prison like. Thankfully because I am fucked in the head, I can hold my meetings at home.

My patient file is enough to navigate through their bullshit, i can deny all their 1€-job bullshit low pay offers and they can't do shit when it comes to denying me benefits, God knows i paid enough in taxes in better times to claim my share of the pie. Doing that shit from home would be the cherry on top. When i lost my then-job in the first year of COVID they introduced phone meetings instead, i never bothered to pick up.

Edit: You say DDR facilities so you probably visited the Stasi prison already.

 

[Foxymophandlemama]

I am sick but I had an interview today and it went well, especially because it was in English and I'm not a native speaker. There will be another meeting tomorrow with them
This is the nicest Monday in months.

They cancelled the meeting, saying that would give more info later. No emails yet
Trying not to get bummed by it, really. And I'm still sick, had a fever and couldn't sleep so well. Despite everything, I'm still studying a few things that I wasn't able to when I was employed, due having no time and being tired all the time, and one of those is a new language. It's funny how English was really easy to learn and feels like it was just installed into my brain when I was younger, didn't need any classes aside from the basic teachings at school. I'm currently researching any media in the new language to get absorbed in the next few months so I can improve my learning
My mind is changing between absolute despair to optimism throughout the day. But it will pass.

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

Oh jeez what has he done now?

pedophile

 

[DenseDeerFather]

pedophile

That makes his rant about "MUH HECKING FICTIONAL SEXUAL ABUSE SUPER BAD" really fucked up in hindsight.

Edit: @The Feline Solution

My patient file is enough to navigate through their bullshit, i can deny all their 1€-job bullshit low pay offers and they can't do shit when it comes to denying me benefits, God knows i paid enough in taxes in better times to claim my share of the pie. Doing that shit from home would be the cherry on top. When i lost my then-job in the first year of COVID they introduced phone meetings instead, i never bothered to pick up.

Spoiler: Tugboat Tirade

Interesting because over here, they will sanction you and deny you benefits if you as much as sneeze the wrong way. I can see the reasoning behind it; deterring scammers and lazy folk.

Unfortunately, it tends to hit askew because we have a lot of "boxes" regarding what type of benefit you're eligible for and what kind of rules you're beholden to. So you hear stories about people ending up in the wrong box.

Therefore there are a lot of stories from people who are undergoing cancer treatment or are bedridden or have some other crippling ailment yet their case workers want them to work as much as possible when they really should be given early pensions. And when they can't, they get sanctioned. Or you got people who outright regress due to the stress of the situation and the fact that it takes a very long time for anything to start.

I'm lucky that I'm in the box where I'm allowed to have savings and the system recognizes that I'm a mess so I don't have to do full-time free labor and get my paycheck slashed because I'm under 30 and need to pay for medicine. I am also allowed to get tax returns - if I get them.

The system here is a mess and it's a growing problem as the government continues to ignore it and make new reforms to punish immigrants and the lazy ones without considering the people who get caught in the crossfire.

 

[Gangstalker #32194]

meh

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

That makes his rant about "MUH HECKING FICTIONAL SEXUAL ABUSE SUPER BAD" really fucked up in hindsight.

Yea like. I hate to be that guy but at least fictional shit is well, fictional. Especially when the guy ranting about was doing shit with a group of minors. Gods I hope Gabriel makes him shoot himself.

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

Turns out I have the flu, not a negative herbal reaction.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Okay I guess. Not as good as I used to be for sure. I no longer wish to be a NEET so I'm finally leaving the nest (and the state) come fall to go to university in person. I'm terrified. I hear that college-aged people are insufferable, but at least the professors I've had so far rock my world. I have no plans on making friends and will be making a beeline for home as soon as I get my degree. Dorms also sound like a horrorshow and god forbid I get holed up with a person of gender. Going to miss my buddies here, too. Flying to and fro for the holidays seems expensive and exhausting, but I'm sure I'll manage (plus I probably couldn't bear staying away from my family for long.) At least because of my poorfag status the schooling itself is relatively cheap. I'll try to apply myself as much as I can. Getting out more would probably do me a lot of good mentally, I just hope than when I get the chance to go out in public that the public isn't there (())

Other than that, the days now just seem to go one after the other. Mood is unstable, but I know it's probably just hormonal. Highs and lows have jumped from mild to moderate and are getting more frequent. Just have to trust that the brain juices will sort themselves out as soon as I hit my twenties. It's totally stifled my creativity, too. I often overthink everything now.

A smarter person would take a break from the farms and try to live a full life before the eternal summer ends, but my retardation knows no bounds.

Congrats on deciding on school! Don't assume it's going to be nothing but horrorshow peers - most places have a variety of types. Get to know your profs*, and find some activities (solo if you don't want to interact with people) that burn off a little physical steam for breaks in studying - it can help balance mood/energy swings, too. I'd encourage getting to know a few motivated people in your classes/following your study path, but if you really do better on your own or just prefer it, that's OK, too. But a few friends to relax with now and then might not be awful, too.

*most professors love engaged students, and as someone else said it can make a difference in the current class as well as things like research opportunities or input on path/career direction. Do office hours and come prepared with questions. One of my kids puts prof office hours in their calendar so they are always aware of the opportunity without having to go hunt for it in syllabi/class sites.

I have a talk with some corpo representative and have close to zero experience in field of business related stuff. I have some points that I know I should touch but do you guys have any hints on what should I investigate during this talk? It's kinda a big moment for me because the company representative I am meeting with might want to appoint me as a sole chief officer in significantly sized region.

I'd recommend doing as much research as possible on the field of business before you walk into the interview, and develop some specific questions around that.

Pretty bummed that we basically had no winter, but I've pulled the motorcycle out of storage 2 month earlier than usual, so that's nice

So tired tho I went to bed at 7pm

I took a day off work earlier this week - could barely keep my eyes open and spent the day in and out of dozing. I think it might be early spring allergies, even though I'm not sneezing or having typical allergy-type symptoms - we had basically a zero winter as well and this is really early for spring allergies, but it's the only thing I can figure that would make me feel that way.

Anyway, the grogginess and time off has now put me way behind at work and home and I'm feeling stressed and unfocused, so I guess a late night or 3 is in my immediate future, yay.

 

[Betonhaus]

My class got told to join a continent wide teams meeting where they are trying to impress in very clear detail to never ever mention on social media what Teleperformance's clients are, such as the fact that AppleCare support is done through them.

 

[DavidS877]

My class got told to join a continent wide teams meeting where they are trying to impress in very clear detail to never ever mention on social media what Teleperformance's clients are, such as the fact that AppleCare support is done through them.

Yes, very secret.

 

[Betonhaus]

Yes, very secret.
View attachment 5812412

Where is that from?

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

Okay I guess. Not as good as I used to be for sure. I no longer wish to be a NEET so I'm finally leaving the nest (and the state) come fall to go to university in person. I'm terrified. I hear that college-aged people are insufferable, but at least the professors I've had so far rock my world. I have no plans on making friends and will be making a beeline for home as soon as I get my degree. Dorms also sound like a horrorshow and god forbid I get holed up with a person of gender. Going to miss my buddies here, too. Flying to and fro for the holidays seems expensive and exhausting, but I'm sure I'll manage (plus I probably couldn't bear staying away from my family for long.) At least because of my poorfag status the schooling itself is relatively cheap. I'll try to apply myself as much as I can. Getting out more would probably do me a lot of good mentally, I just hope than when I get the chance to go out in public that the public isn't there (())

Other than that, the days now just seem to go one after the other. Mood is unstable, but I know it's probably just hormonal. Highs and lows have jumped from mild to moderate and are getting more frequent. Just have to trust that the brain juices will sort themselves out as soon as I hit my twenties. It's totally stifled my creativity, too. I often overthink everything now.

A smarter person would take a break from the farms and try to live a full life before the eternal summer ends, but my retardation knows no bounds.

Don't discount university students as potential friends. I have no idea how the Anglosphere works, but students come in all backgrounds even in my very leftist EU country. Some programmes even have a slight right-wing majority although do not expect anyone to flaunt that. Dorms can also be very fun and cut down on your living costs if your group has somewhat strict cleaning rules or is majority women. LGBT students also tend to hang with their own crowds so unless you visit the gay bar or theater group, they should be avoidable. This depends on your programme though since IT/CS are ground zero.

Remember that 80% of higher education's value comes from networking opportunities as you need them to pursue a PhD or get an easy start to your career. The slightly insufferable drunk guy that you meet at a party might just be your boss or business partner some time after graduation. Besides, university can be downright miserable if you're a shut-in as courses rarely feel rewarding by themselves and you never get to research what and how you want to do it.

 

[DavidS877]

Where is that from?

The Internet(tm)

https://www.glassdoor.com/Reviews/Teleperformance-Applecare-Advisor-Reviews-EI_IE9779.0,15_KO16,33.htm

Indeed(job site) also:

Also, Reddit:

Also, people posting on their LinkedIn Profiles:

 

[Yamamura]

I've come to a revelation that I shouldn't associate my mental state with the way my work is going.

Sounds obvious on paper, but easier said than done. Tried to take a more carefree attitude towards things. If something is out of my control then I should just let what I can't slide.

In many ways I admire the types of people who can manage to stay positive in dire situations. It's a really rare trait to have these days it seems. I realize their lives are not any easier than mine, but they manage to hum along.