How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
First head cold of the 2020s is crushing my sinuses right now. My mom had to go to the ER/hospital again so I'm sure some sick shit from the waiting room invaded my body for holiday fun, For PL reasons I got tested for flu, pneumonia and strep but noooo it's just a fucking head and chest cold. Even the prescription cough syrup is useless unlike the codeine stuff my mom would get us as kids. I made the mistake of asking for codeine syrup not too long ago and was shut firmly down about that. My bad for thinking someone might actually use cough syrup for, you know, coughing and not some terrible drank for getting high.

Happy New Year 2025! Please don't party too hard you wild autists!
 
  • Like
  • Feels
  • DRINK!
Reactions: Outer Space Traveller, Justa Grata Honoria, Rekeita's Kidneys and 2 others
I overloaded myself on college this fall and didn't prioritize it in lieu of bodybuilding, playing video games, and socializing with friends. Now I have to retake one class to graduate next month. Usually "D's get degrees", but this class I need a C or higher. I will say I did well in my other classes at least.

ONE percentage point away from a C and the professor wouldn't bump it up...

I got sick as hell with the flu after Thanksgiving that took me two weeks to recover from. When I finally felt better I strained my back so that put me out of commission for one more week. My house turned into a hoarder's buried alive episode due to not being able to clean.

On Christmas a cousin told me about something he witnessed that I totally repressed from my traumatic childhood. In middle school my dad was drunk and beating my mom so I called him a cunt and then flipped him out his wheelchair. The gun he had went off into the wall somehow. There's more terrible stuff similar to that event which I still remember. It did fuck with my head though... what else have I repressed to totally forget?

Finally able to sleep at night, I used to sleep all day so that's good. I worked nights for years.

Now I need to figure out what I'm going to do for work after I graduate. I get veteran benefits so I'm okay no matter what at least.
 
  • Feels
Reactions: Mesh Gear Fox, Outer Space Traveller and Juan But Not Forgotten
I am tired of ranting on here. I need advice on how to fix my shitty fucking life. I have zero friends, obviously no relationships (khhv) and I am on SSI.
I have literally nobody to speak to besides my useless fucking therapist and my cat and dog.

This shit is a complete mess and I am genuinely considering blowing my brains out by my next birthday as I cannot handle this fucking constant drain and no gain of my stupid fucking existence. All I ever do is just post stupid fucking memes online and try and fail to make friends on the internet.

Besides not lodging a half ounce 12 gauge slug into my skull, how do I even fucking fix this shit? Can it even be fucking fixed?

Legit I do not even give a fuck about power-leveling anymore since I have NOTHING left to lose.
 
  • Feels
  • Like
Reactions: Coral Apples, (((I am NOT a jew))), Friend of Dorothy Parker and 6 others
Rekeita's Kidneys said:
how do I even fucking fix this shit? Can it even be fucking fixed?
Click to expand...
Look up local recreation guides, there's usually some lightweight activities that are solely for getting people out and doing things as a group. Go do stuff that's completely out of your main interests, learn how to do some good ol' underwater basketweaving with other people who don't get out much.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Polystyrene Glioblastoma


I've been tired (because I've been drinking for the past 3 fucking days) but besides that im on my 2nd 3-day weekend of the next 4 weeks, so thats cool
 
@Rekeita's Kidneys, Have you considered having your testosterone levels checked? Mine were extremely low and causing me so many problems I had to get on TRT. The VA wouldn't cover my treatment so I had to go to private care for it though, luckily my new VA doctor still does my lab works which my private care receives so I don't have to pay for that part of it.

I am technically disabled due to my bad back, PTSD, and bum chicken layghs. I have gorilla strength arms and a nice chest though because I go to the gym. I've made some friends at my gym just by striking up conversation too.

I met my best friend two years ago and we became close as brothers in March of this year. I met him after he married my childhood girlfriend.

It sucks being single though, I know the pain. My ex hasn't talked to me in a year after I caught him on some bullshit that happened when we weren't even together, and hell, I'm still open to reconcilng as friends. It is incredibly hard finding a partner as a gay man due to most of them being retarded faggots or trannies nowadays.

Join local groups online to maybe see what you can get into. Don't be afraid to contact people who might be cool. Ask anyone you know to network with you. Playing video games is a stress reliever to me as well. Getting into skincare helped me with confidence as well to fix myself up a bit.
 
  • Feels
  • Like
Reactions: (((I am NOT a jew))), Clitonium, Mesh Gear Fox and 2 others
My new years resolution is to find a reason to keep going, or at least make it to the end of 2025 without attempting suicide again
By far this has been one of my most dramatic years alive, in combination with the end of 23. I'll really miss it, especially when things were good, because I'm really doubtful things will get better if I'm being honest. But I guess the only way out is through or something
 
Last edited:
  • Feels
Reactions: Two Hands, (((I am NOT a jew))), Friend of Dorothy Parker and 6 others
Internet Wizard said:
My new years resolution is to find a reason to keep going, or at least make it to the end of 2025 without attempting suicide again
By far this has been one of my most dramatic years alive, in combination with the end of 23. I'll really miss it, especially when things were good, because I'm really doubtful things will get better if I'm being honest. But I guess the only way out is through or something
Click to expand...
Trust me wizard friend I've made it to 41 being in considerable pain for over a decade.

Enjoy your youth, find love, a purpose and your life will become much more manageable I promise.
 
  • Feels
  • Optimistic
Reactions: Rekeita's Kidneys and Internet Wizard
I see a lot of people in here wanting to blow their brains out.

I had plans to kill myself about 12 years ago and obviously I did not go through with it, primarily because I did not want my family to find my body in the house or have to identified my body after it was pulled from a river or something. You have to identify things you can do to improve your mental health and/or your situation (which will then improve your mental health). This takes effort and is not easy. Fix your circadian rhythm, get 20 mins of sunlight every day, stop spending so much time online, fix your diet, etc. etc. If you can't pinpoint things in your life you can fix, might be time to seek an expert.

Making friends online is generally not a great idea. At least not as your primary socialization.

I've been snoozing/turning off my alarm in my sleep and thank God I haven't missed anything important but it's a matter of time. Got a sunrise alarm clock and so far I love it.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Rekeita's Kidneys, Internet Wizard, Juan But Not Forgotten and 3 others
Happy new year. At the moment what I have in mind for the year is to make it more eventful than the last which essentially felt the same as the last three and a half months of my 2023.
 
Went to a small gathering at a friends for New Years, then every one left when my friend, the host, had to take his daughter to the E.R. for a couple stitches from a broken glass. I cleaned up the glass, locked up their house, walked home, and had bit of libations.

Wooo! 25minutes to midnight as I sit here, and I'm feeling like this isn't the best omen for 2025. Whatever. I "stole" a tupperware with about a half pound of pulled pork bbq on my way out. I'll be okay.
 
  • Feels
Reactions: Polystyrene Glioblastoma
I do believe that this year was the worst one. But I do believe things will get better. We have reached the point where many flawed systems have failed, and they have no choice but to rebuild them better. Next year will be better, and the one after will be even greater. We prospered under Trump, we survived Biden, and we will prosper again under Trump.
 
  • Feels
  • Optimistic
Reactions: Rekeita's Kidneys, Outer Space Traveller, missnaptime and 2 others
Had to waste 31th on groceries and work in the evening, but hey, today I am free and also free to eat whatever the fuck I want, so I am gonna try to enjoy this day to the fullest.
Happy New Year, fellow farmers, let's hope we're gonna post mostly positive updates in this thread in 2025.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Outer Space Traveller, JustSomeDong and Polystyrene Glioblastoma
Feeling a bit wistful, I suppose.

As I age and feel like I gain a better perspective about the life around me, I am less inclined to react with rage and more with sad but calm acceptance. Sure, I still get pissed at minor things. They add up, after all. Seeing the people around me and the world at large by now just makes me feel like it's all out of my hands anyway. Why get upset?

The distinction that I am still grappling with, however, is that this calmness is not serenity. It's exhaustion. Physical, mental, and emotional. Maybe I'll cope better with another year under my belt.
 
  • Feels
  • DRINK!
  • Like
Reactions: BABANGUIDE64, Outer Space Traveller, Juan But Not Forgotten and 3 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back