How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[#FreeRoss]

It'g going to be okay for you. I can't make you believe that, but the best thing my teacher says is that the only person you need to be better than is the you that you were yesterday. If you do that, everything else will eventually fall into place.

You're right; it's going to be okay. I feel better now. I went for a walk and ate. I was just in my head when I typed this post. P.S. I still think I might be bipolar.

 

[Betonhaus]

I got another cold. This winter has been extra rough on me. I can see that there's light at the end of the tunnel but it's still a long slog to get there. There's so many things I need to deal with but I don't have the money and the cold weather makes dealing with them difficult.

 

[Clitonium]

The slow realization that your dreams are unattainable and everything you've worked towards meant nothing.

“Meaningless! Meaningless!”
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”

Ecclisiates 1:2

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

Had a weird surprise today.
A relatively popular youtuber I follow made a video follow-up to a video he made earlier.
Essentially he made a video about not oversharing your feelings/depressive thoughts with others and how that will push people away but said it broadly enough to the point he sounded like he was saying never to share your problems with others. Me and couple other people made some comments saying how while it is a good point it could be a kind of toxic positivity when taken to it's extreme. It was only a couple comments, unless he deleted the rest.
He then releases this video indirectly blasting those complaints and giving a very kneejerk condemnation of the few people who took umbrage with the video, which would include me.

I don't know. Never had any situation like that really happen to me before and it's from one of the few youtubers I like. Part of me feels targeted and depressed, but compared to a couple years ago where I would have been losing my mind in some panic attack over what a youtuber thinks of me, it's not as bad as I thought.
I still think the video was kneejerk and reactionary, and he's had a habit of doing a couple of those before. So maybe that's why it doesn't sting so bad.
Still I think it's difficult to gauge how accurate that is. I have overburdened people before and still struggle not to do that now. You shouldn't overload the few people there for you with so much pain, even if it is your own. But I also see the flipside where the overwhelmingly "positive" people I see in life are either a) Mr. Beast-esque skinwalking faggots who legitimately have a decent enough life to never want to bitch or b) people who pretend everything is okay and ignore the main problems in their life for the sake of being "together" until the problems eventually boil over and become disastrous.

So yeah, I really don't know. I can't really measure stuff like that in modern day so I guess I'm going to mostly shut the fuck up around people if honesty about your life is enough to put people off of you.

 

[equinsu_ocha]

SSDD

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

He then releases this video indirectly blasting those complaints and giving a very kneejerk condemnation of the few people who took umbrage with the video, which would include me.

Can't find it right now, but I remember seeing a video where some MMA fighter tells after the fight that at 4 AM one hour before his weight in he got a call that his friend had committed suicide, so he urges people who feel like doing something similar to call someone and talk about their hardships, since having a call like this is better than having a call like the one he got. That youtuber is a faggot.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

Can't find it right now, but I remember seeing a video where some MMA fighter tells after the fight that at 4 AM one hour before his weight in he got a call that his friend had committed suicide, so he urges people who feel like doing something similar to call someone and talk about their hardships, since having a call like this is better than having a call like the one he got. That youtuber is a faggot.

The problem is he isn't though. I think he's one of the very few honest guys out there on that platform who isn't running a grift and I've loved his videos. And I think he had a point in his follow-up about not making your depression/problems your personality but it very, very reactionary because he didn't seem to clarify it in his video and has basically said similar things about how you shouldn't let your wife know about your problems because you're supposed to be her rock for her to lean on.
I think he's spot on most of the time but he's old and sometimes it shows.
It is weird to have a favorite guy I watch basically call me/a couple others out because I feel maybe there's some truth to it. But yeah in that moment he was very much being a dick.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

The problem is he isn't though. I think he's one of the very few honest guys out there on that platform who isn't running a grift and I've loved his videos. And I think he had a point in his follow-up about not making your depression/problems your personality but it very, very reactionary because he didn't seem to clarify it in his video and has basically said similar things about how you shouldn't let your wife know about your problems because you're supposed to be her rock for her to lean on.
I think he's spot on most of the time but he's old and sometimes it shows.
It is weird to have a favorite guy I watch basically call me/a couple others out because I feel maybe there's some truth to it. But yeah in that moment he was very much being a dick.

Yeah, whining all the time to everyone around won't help anyone involved, but stating that one should just shut up about his problems is just stupid. One cannot live under pressure all the time and of his friends only want to hear good things from him, then they are not good friends.

 

[Ratboy Genius]

i needed to see some of these today so maybe you do, too

Spoiler

i wonder how many guests read this thread each day? i hope one of them will like these

 

[huesofmercury]

forever meh as meh could ever be.

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

Imagine being told 'you're gonna be a carpenter like dad', being shipped off to the capital and then coming home to become dad's replacement as the town's carpenter. Good pay, bad pay? Who cares as long as the bills are paid. A simple life.

I think it's a matter of perspective. If you're a native citizen of the US (native as in WASP) or UK, yeah, you lost out big if you were born within the last 30 years and did not profit off of the tech, crypto and real estate bubbles. If I were born even a decade earlier, I would probably be a potato farmer working the shittiest soil in the world while hoping that the fertilizers and Roundup don't give me cancer by the age of 40. Alternatively, destroying my body at a saw mill in hope that I slowly lose the function in my arms over a longer period of time rather than in a single accident. Even getting into trades like carpentry was not possible for the most unfortunate part of society.

Being part of the rootless, cosmopolitan community seems much preferable to that kind of life. There's so much of the world to experience and so many things which you can create, all within your grasp provided that you have the motivation and perseverance to do it. There's so much opportunity for physical and mental stimulation that even the ability to travel anywhere, read any book, speak to any person or acquire any skill that you would desire seems mundane. I would not exchange this excess of opportunity for anything, especially being saddled with the neighboring farmer's daughter due to lack of choice and the geographical limitations of being a sustenance farmer.

To answer this thread's main question: Life's too good.

 

[Travis Touchdown (REAL)]

I am currently suppressing my inner orange cat.

 

[AnOminous]

The reality is more than likely I will one day wake up 30 years old, having never been to in-person college; I will still be fat and miserable and have nothing left to my name, no accomplishments, no achievements, just what could have been and regrets about my life.

I've talked some shit about you, but I legit hope you're okay. I didn't mean to be as mean as I was.

 

[CoffeeCup]

I received a text from someone in the UK who misses me really badly. Its nice to be wanted but its over.

 

[MARlNA]

The cold weather and general stress have made my depression significantly worse, but I have a few days off in a row from work finally so I am using the time to draw, game, and do some shopping. My mood is at least a little better at the moment.

 

[huesofmercury]

forever meh as meh could ever be.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

I received a text from someone in the UK who misses me really badly. Its nice to be wanted but its over.

Shirley 01:55 AM: "i misss uuuuu...kjj"

To answer this thread's main question: Life's too good.

You can do anything and have done not 1/10 of it. If your options were limited, 1/10 would be "visit the town twice over". I know what you're saying but at the same time the roof being 8 miles up makes each yard underneath insignificant. You can move anywhere, work anywhere, yet your happiness was two doors over, but you never got there cause you doomposted about Japan. Ask the Chad on the street what mark he has left on his immediate community and he'd be stunned; ask the broke local and they probably go to choir n shit.

I've got manageable debt, car, actively investing, young and spry, but because I got that international mindset, I feel like a loser. Don't earn enough, don't invest enough, but for what? A life above my means. Had I instead thought "kids if the question comes with a dame. Else, live at a profit and spend on passions". By god I wish I did. Extra pay and lower rent next month and it's all going to savings cause Ive no.. recurve bow to yearn for.

 

[AbyssGazer]

I like to drop in on this thread every now and then just to remind myself that everyone else is also walking around with that useless radio in their head that they can't turn off. It's indeed a part of the human condition.

It encourages me to meditate, which I usually have pretty bad discipline doing.

 

[#FreeRoss]

I've talked some shit about you, but I legit hope you're okay. I didn't mean to be as mean as I was.

It's all good. We were just arguing on the internet; sometimes it's easy to forget there's another person on the other side of the screen and not just a username. I forgive you.

 

[Scream Aim Fire]

Another one of my pets died today, a cat that we've had for quite some time; no idea what the hell happened, she was up and prancing around rather healthily, next thing we know she's dropped dead. No idea what happened; she was old, but she didn't seem to be slowing down at all. Needless to say, it's been a shock.

Writing's completely stalled; I've got the genre down for my current story - more or less - but figuring out what I actually want to write about is difficult. Meanwhile, wound up backsliding on character design once more; again, I got an idea on what I want to make, but figuring out the specifics is difficult. I'm hoping that the family trip I was going to be taking this weekend might finally give me an idea, but I'm not convinced; I've spent over a month working on this, and I can't really make any progress.