How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Done with my 4th round of chemo. I've never felt shittier in my life. Markers all look normal but there's still residual mass' that didn't go away. Doc said 2 more rounds is a possibility they'll consider but the thought of doing this shit 2 more times is dreadful to me. Surgery to remove them or radiation are other options, I have no clue which will feel less shitty in the end. VA was real quick to deny any of this being service related, haha. Figured that would be the response and that the base burn pit registry would prove useless in that regard.
 
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Finally reached the point of not giving a fuck anymore. I've finally been broken. Shit has been bad for so long and I'm so tired. Just found out the place I'm moving to in less than 2 weeks won't let me bring my two dogs. They're the only thing that's kept me from blowing my brains out the last year. They're all that got me through my mother's death and all the fucking shit I've had to deal with with my pos family. I'm done.
 
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Mesh Gear Fox said:
Finally reached the point of not giving a fuck anymore. I've finally been broken. Shit has been bad for so long and I'm so tired. Just found out the place I'm moving to in less than 2 weeks won't let me bring my two dogs. They're the only thing that's kept me from blowing my brains out the last year. They're all that got me through my mother's death and all the fucking shit I've had to deal with with my pos family. I'm done.
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I'm sorry fren :(
Did they say anything about the dogs prior to this recent notification?
 
Have an important meeting tomorrow, I've never been to that building before and I don't know who I need to look for. So that's great.

Was also waiting for another professor to schedule a different meeting but I'm pretty sure he forgot. I saw him today but only noticed after he was far away. I fucking suck. I could've asked, if I wasn't so distracted by my phone.

But to sum it all up: I need to choose between a 'meh' professor in a good lab that focuses on humans, or a really good professor with great reputation, but in a slightly shittier (but still good) lab that mainly focuses on aquatic sciences. What would you do fellow kiwis?

So that's how I'm doing: conflicted, confused, anxious, worried.
 
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Been throwing around an idea in my head of either going to trade school (I have no idea what trade I want to do)

Or going back to college apparently New York has a system where they pay for your associates degree. I could get something like computer science or something fun in film.

I dunno know other than that I've been shitposting on the Farms. Got some people angry at me, my account probably won't last. Oh well.

Been thinking about streaming in my free time.

I have this bizarre feeling that I'm wasting my potential and that I could do some good, crazy shit for the world. Maybe I'm crazy, delusional, or narcissistic. CD Projekt Red has a pretty cool intern program where just about everyone can get in on the fun.

I'm a young man, I have my whole future before me. Like untamed rolling glades.
 
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Mesh Gear Fox said:
Finally reached the point of not giving a fuck anymore. I've finally been broken. Shit has been bad for so long and I'm so tired. Just found out the place I'm moving to in less than 2 weeks won't let me bring my two dogs. They're the only thing that's kept me from blowing my brains out the last year. They're all that got me through my mother's death and all the fucking shit I've had to deal with with my pos family. I'm done.
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doit.webp
I am asking you to stay. Not because you want to, but because you have to.

Clitonium said:
Been throwing around an idea in my head of either going to trade school (I have no idea what trade I want to do)
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Electrician and plumber are always safe bets to apprentice into. People like having the lights on and indoor plumbing.
 
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I finally got the housekeeping job I have wanted for years and now i can finally be trained on it so I can add more to my resume, currently in retail wanting to swallow buckshot, adding to this people finally started responding to me wanting to do odd jobs around town so hopefully I can make lots more money, the downside is I can't read the site as often. Better than living off freezer food and cans for the next 2 years.
 
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Mike Patton Official said:
Have an important meeting tomorrow, I've never been to that building before and I don't know who I need to look for. So that's great.

Was also waiting for another professor to schedule a different meeting but I'm pretty sure he forgot. I saw him today but only noticed after he was far away. I fucking suck. I could've asked, if I wasn't so distracted by my phone.

But to sum it all up: I need to choose between a 'meh' professor in a good lab that focuses on humans, or a really good professor with great reputation, but in a slightly shittier (but still good) lab that mainly focuses on aquatic sciences. What would you do fellow kiwis?

So that's how I'm doing: conflicted, confused, anxious, worried.
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I'd go for the better professor if you don't care about the human vs aquatics. Is either one closer to your major focus?

For the meeting tomorrow, go a half-hour early. Better to wait a few minutes than be stressed and rushed.

Can you send an email to the professor you forgot to ask about the different meeting?

And do your best to stay engaged in whatever/ wherever you are. Phone shit will always be there. Don't beat yourself up over it, but practice staying aware.

Don't beat yourself up!
 
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annoyed at having to watch bing bang theory for a minute while waiting for wrasslins
they might have misquoted goofy time which pisses me off on a number of different levels
 
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Friend of Dorothy Parker said:
I'd go for the better professor if you don't care about the human vs aquatics. Is either one closer to your major focus?
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They both focus on the programming side of biology, so the major difference is the institution and the professor. I guess I'd prefer human stuff since that maybe has more of a demand? I just want a job, not interested in academia or learning as a passion.
Friend of Dorothy Parker said:
Can you send an email to the professor you forgot to ask about the different meeting?
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I'll send the other professor an e-mail today during the afternoon, didn't send one before mainly because there was a chance he could've scheduled at the same time as this other meeting.
Friend of Dorothy Parker said:
Don't beat yourself up!
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I don't know man. I've been feeling hella irresponsible, though I know it's not because of a lack of care - it's major anxiety over talking to people that are much smarter than me, and in a position of power.
 
Girl meat seller said:
First off, Congratulations! It is a very hard transition period. You will get it down, just expect it to take time to adjust!

Edit: My English was a terrible fail
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Thank you, comrade. I just got my first test and I'm feeling decent about it. I prepare for the next one. It's a condensed course, so I was not expecting this much reading whatsoever.

Wish I didn't need all this side-hustle bullshit and I could get to the good stuff, but colleges need to waste my time and make their money somehow...
 
Core Theorist said:
Thank you, comrade. I just got my first test and I'm feeling decent about it. I prepare for the next one. It's a condensed course, so I was not expecting this much reading whatsoever.

Wish I didn't need all this side-hustle bullshit and I could get to the good stuff, but colleges need to waste my time and make their money somehow...
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It is a little dumb, but monies are important.
But depending on what you are going for, you will miss these easy classes.
 
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Ive been really really struggling the past month with my new job. as dumb as it is im a janitor and Im having panic attacks in my sleep over it. I keep waking up in the middle of the night and thinking im at work, im not in dress code, I had fallen asleep at work, i am late and I need to fix all this NOW

I love my job but.. I feel like I dont know if my supervisors are being sarcastic or angry at me when they talk to me and its so stressful.
Ive been trying to fix it but theres so much going on its hard to tackle all these problems in a timely manner
 
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