How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Very good chance that I'm gonna lose my job when the Jan. 4 deadline comes around. So I'm depressed.

Not depressed enough to not update my resume and mentally prepare to start job hunting at least. But it really sucks it has to come to this. Part of me hopes that things will turn themselves around, but I'm not betting on that.

It's all in God's hands now. Whatever happens, I gotta keep moving forward.

Until then, might as well enjoy the holidays. I still have my family.
 
Still here but maybe not for long. learned a lot of harsh lessons these past few weeks. Won't say or disclose anything about myself any more. may still linger around and lurk on here a while longer. At least till Chris's hearing on the 18th.


Don't even wanna talk to anyone or say anything more than needed.
 
Still here but maybe not for long. learned a lot of harsh lessons these past few weeks. Won't say or disclose anything about myself any more. may still linger around and lurk on here a while longer. At least till Chris's hearing on the 18th.


Don't even wanna talk to anyone or say anything more than needed.
It's like a broken battered abusive home you can't leave because where else can you go?
You'll be back.
 
I had those for a month or two. I can't imagine how someone copes with it on the reg.
After a while it's not so bad. I mean it still sucks, but you learn to handle them better and they become more of an annoyance. I know on nearly every level that everything is fine. But my lizard brain? It's convinced the world is ending. Why? I don't know.
 
After a while it's not so bad. I mean it still sucks, but you learn to handle them better and they become more of an annoyance. I know on nearly every level that everything is fine. But my lizard brain? It's convinced the world is ending. Why? I don't know.
Banging some hotties is great for the soul.

Everyting is fine dude. Just set that to repeat on your head jukebox.
 
A lot of what we consider free will is just neurons misfiring.

I went on SSRIs and came out a different person. An alarming experience. For a while I was terrified of everything.
My neurons are really quiet stupid then damn. Why are they so scared. Why am I permanently scrambled. I need a lobotomy or something to rescramble them. My brains fucked. I've many kinds of fuckbrain and at this point I need a factory reset.
 
I am tired of making my own problems. Nothing is really wrong by with my life and I don't want for a lot so I really just make up problems and worry about things that didn't even happen. I don't know how to stop and it feels so real. Is it stupid to just give myself different, higher quality problems? It seems like I just have to worry about something...
 
Here in Australia there's a species of lizard called the Bobtail or Shingleback Lizard (pic below). They grow to be a little over 30cm (12 inches) long and are pretty harmless creatures.
1636546208729.jpeg
They're also known as being quite sweet and romantic because they couple for life and if one of them dies the other will stay with the body for a while. The reason I mention this is because one of these lizards got run over near my house today and I found the mate waiting by the body. He (?) looked a bit rough himself and his mouth was full of blood, but he seemed ok to move. I moved him off the road to some nearby bushland and moved his mate's body over too, in case he didn't want to leave it yet. That was about 3 hours ago and I'm still feeling unreasonably angry and upset about it. I tried calling a wildlife rescue about it but their office was closed for the day. I wanted to help him but felt useless.
 
I'm suffering of cervical pain right now, so I'm cranky and in a lot of pain. Also I'm mightly pissed off because apparently my supervisor's daughter, who sometimes spends a couple of hours at our office after school, today is sick at home with something that seems full-blown covid. Last week the kid waited for her father in the same room where I and a couple of my colleagues were doing the usual paperwork, and of course we work in close contact with her father. If they have Corona-chan the whole department has to be closed and tested.

Not that I'd mind (I need a vacation), but I spent the weekend with my parents (both over 70) at my cousin's house (she and her husband have a toddler and an eight-year-old). If I'm infected, they'll have to be tested too. And if my parents are infected, I'll give my supervisor hell. He aways managed to circumvent the rule that says that only the personnel is authorized to enter the building, throwing a pity party about the fact that both he and his wife work and he doesn't want his daughter to be alone at home.
 
Back