My brain train has derailed. I'm losing it psychologically. I'm turning feral. I'm not sure I can identify with other people anymore. Pop culture is so foreign to me. Covid and culture shock resulted in me just being lost in my own little world of music, music miscellenia, odd male fashion indulgences, ancient history, the occasional video game, and occasionally weirdo avant garde cinema. I'm not intrinsically anti-corporate, but I don't like entertainment being controlled by the same big media conglomerates. I don't like how "culture" is now cartoony intellectual property characters. So I try not to let my thoughts take root in all that, and therefore am an outsider and it's driving me crazy. I still do some things, but I don't define myself by any of it. I like exotic, fascinating things.
And talk about walking on eggshells! When you've got your finger on the pulse of the geist of the times as well as I think I do, you have a good idea of what everyone thinks. Because everyone believes in the same prepackaged nonsense, you just gotta figure out which package that person is subscribed to, and play a part to appease their biases. It's so exhausting, but you gotta do it to survive! Because we're so political that people will sabotage you or disassociate with you if you have a different outlook on the world.
Everything is horrible, human interaction is so fucking painful, and it's taking a serious fucking toll on my sanity.
