How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[KittyGremlin]

I have successfully stopped taking Venlafaxin and no longer feel withdrawal for the most part so I am feeling pretty good.

 

[Orange Tabby]

I hate where I live. Constant alarms and sirens, tweakers up and down the street, and the TRAINS. Also the tow yard right around the corner, plus the constant construction during the day.

I haven’t had a good, non medically induced sleep in like three years.

 

[keke]

Too much work to do and not enough time to do it. Shit might be fucked but the fact I’m trying at all is a admirable. I have hope.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

I deleted another social media account. I'd like to draw, but I'm too depressed. I even considered venting in another social media but I think it's stupid.

Edit: There is one tiny little good thing or two: my uncle visited us and had a good time and tomorrow is my grandma's birthday, but I already played for her "happy birthday" on the piano...

 

[Patrick Bait-man]

My desire to shitpost today is high.

 

[Neighborhood Curmudgeon]

With the way the world is these days, I'm forever grateful to still have my family. It's comforting to know there are people in my life who can say with a straight face that they love me.

I'm also grateful for the Internet, warts and all. I know that's really austistic, but I mean it. I am especially grateful for Kiwifarms because it's a rare place I can talk to like-minded people. Nowhere else lets me rant about the things we do here. Maybe 4chan, but they're mostly for fun. Relatively speaking, of course.

 

[♦️ King of Diamonds ♦️]

I was civilly married to my wife a few months ago (we're planning a separate religious wedding ceremony at a later date) and I've been extremely happy living with her after she moved in. I do somewhat lament that my increased responsibilities IRL- between a full-time job, graduate school, involvement with my church, volunteer work for a nonprofit, and family time has made it so that the time I can spend shitposting/browsing Kiwi Farms is nearly nonexistent nowadays.

I'll be able to post here once in a blue moon, and I'll occasionally listen to Kino Casino as background noise as I do dishes, vacuum, cook, or other housework- but my online activity has been completely crippled. This is stark contrast to my youth and adolescence when I was very much terminally online, admittedly, and heavily involved with trolling culture from a extremely young age as a "script kiddy".

I figure it's much better this way.

 

[Betonhaus]

I slept a lot today. I don't know what next week is going to look like and it scares me a bit. But I've made peace with it, over the past few years I've come to terms with my life being a write - off, but I'm still here. I don't know how my life will end - whether to sickness or injury. Will I have a heart attack? Will I die in a car accident? Be struck down by an airplane toilet? This will be the final mystery and I don't want to ruin it by forcing it.

 

[PaleTay]

I feel like dying, I hate where I live, I hate my job, and I hardly get to see anyone I like but at the same time I have a ton of friends people would love to have, just no time for each other in a working day. No new friends ever stay out here, there's no real job market.

 

[Shadfan666xxx000]

I swear I'm not depressed anymore but I still can't really be bothered to do anything. After a couple weeks of spring cleaning and conditioning workouts, I've found that I have energy but I don't want to spend it on anything. I guess I'm just plain jaded and lazy at this point because my idea of a good time is just going through dip and alcohol. I could probably stay in the house for the rest of my life and not care which isn't an attitude I permitted myself to have when I was 18-20 and wasn't a part of me from 21-23. I'm just done and I don't want stress.

 

[The Skeksis Emperor]

I'm in a process at work where I have to send several very polite emails to very important people whom I then have to ask for help, and my stress is through the roof because this makes me feel like a burden and I can't deal. I am cringing at myself 24/7 for how much of a pussy I am. But at least I know I am not autistic.

 

[Betonhaus]

mwhuuuuugh, I dink I god a cold

 

[Betonhaus]

mwhuuuuugh, I dink I god a cold

Ok I definitely got a cold. I want to be a big baby about it but I have classes I need to do even though concentrating is difficult right now.

 

[spaztocate9000]

I'm feeling a lot better. Working out does wonders for depression, and I've been riding my bike through the parks here now that it has warmed up.

Playing a lot of PSVR2, it has re-ignited my interest in video games.

Planning a trip in a few weeks, just a small road trip but it's nice to think about. I'm getting better at appreciating what I have, instead of dwelling on negative things and spiraling. /journal

 

[Betonhaus]

I'm feeling a lot better. Working out does wonders for depression, and I've been riding my bike through the parks here now that it has warmed up.

Yeah exercise does help. I might get a monthly pass to the pool so I can start swimming again.

 

[Yamamura]

I'm in a process at work where I have to send several very polite emails to very important people whom I then have to ask for help, and my stress is through the roof because this makes me feel like a burden and I can't deal. I am cringing at myself 24/7 for how much of a pussy I am. But at least I know I am not autistic.

I've sort of had this issue as well. I admit there are some part of the work I do where I only sort of know what I'm doing and have to ask. What worked for me is rationalizing to myself, "do I want to be a bother or do I want to be fired?". When putting it that way to myself it usually makes me feel a lot more at ease.

Unrelated:
Today I think I had an Office Space moment. You know that scene when Peter has his boss come over about forgetting to use the right covers for the TPS reports? That basically happened to me where I got sent an email as a "friendly reminder" that I forgot to fill in something. But the person sending it CCed a manager about it as well.

Normally this sort of thing would somewhat annoy me, but I think I've developed a new strategy for dealing with this sort of thing. Just say something non-committal like, "Ah I see, sorry I'll try to look out for that in the future".

 

[Testicular Manslaugther]

I fucking hate my job. I work for a pretty large company that you realistically might know, and everyone here are assholes, the company is cheap as shit about everything, micromanagement is abound, and I can't change jobs atm for legal and practical reasons.

I used to like it, too. I still do, occasionally. Unfortunately, my manager is a gigantic asshole and it sours everything. He doesn't let people succeed - targets are always set so high that you never succeed, you just fail less. It's demotivating, and I try to shield my team from it, but that usually means taking the beatings for them and fighting their fight in the boardroom.

At least I work remotely so I can sneed sneakily on the clock. Boo.

 

[419]

Spoiler: Hard TMI

Since the last time I posted in this thread about being tired and anxious, I've proceeded to see a psychiatrist in private. While I'm yet to be given a proper diagnosis for anything, I wound up being prescribed antipsychotic medication for various things that I brought up with the doc the first couple of times. Effectively, I've been all but fully diagnosed as a fucking schizo.

At first the meds did help, though now it's much of the same story; I'm constantly fatigued, and it's gotten worse now that my dosage of one medication has doubled and I can hardly function without needing to lie down or sleep in the middle of the day. Sure, I have less intrusive and pestering thoughts, though I seem to have much less thought in general, just more weight induced by the meds.

I don't know how much better things may be, but I hope to get off of these and get myself back in order otherwise after about three weeks when I see the doc again. This isn't working out well for me so far.

 

[Testicular Manslaugther]

Spoiler: Hard TMI

Since the last time I posted in this thread about being tired and anxious, I've proceeded to see a psychiatrist in private. While I'm yet to be given a proper diagnosis for anything, I wound up being prescribed antipsychotic medication for various things that I brought up with the doc the first couple of times. Effectively, I've been all but fully diagnosed as a fucking schizo.

At first the meds did help, though now it's much of the same story; I'm constantly fatigued, and it's gotten worse now that my dosage of one medication has doubled and I can hardly function without needing to lie down or sleep in the middle of the day. Sure, I have less intrusive and pestering thoughts, though I seem to have much less thought in general, just more weight induced by the meds.

I don't know how much better things may be, but I hope to get off of these and get myself back in order otherwise after about three weeks when I see the doc again. This isn't working out well for me so far.

Antipsychotics absolutely fucking suck for a long time. I've seen people turn into absolute husks until they find a regimen that works. Hang in there, my guy. Statistically, it gets better.

 

[glue eater]

I posted earlier how I was doing very well, moved close to brother and father and got a job in the new town. Things have only gotten better, I immediately made friends with my neighbours, and we have RPG tabletop (Twilight 2000) game night a few days a week. Also there are two new babies with shining blue eyes in the immediate Antikainen family. Feeling very blessed ngl.