How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Even with overdosing on vitamins and remedies, I've gotten sick again due to public transit from the airport. This is the fourth time over the past two years I've gotten sick through someone on the flight next to me or right behind me coughing up a storm with no attempts at minimizing their infectiousness. Armenians, anyone in their sixties, Romanians, and various types of frijoles are the worst offenders.

If you're sick on public transport without a mask and you're coughing and sneezing into the fucking air, you deserve to be killed. I fully support lynchings for this selfish and retarded behavior.
 
I’m better now. I move on quick, but that wasn’t easy. Part of the reason I was so terrified to move on is because once I lose feelings, they’re gone forevermore.

A few ago, I hit that realization that I could do anything I wanted. I could start making fursuits (a bit tough since i’m not a furry), I could start selling crack and make a killing, I could go back to school and achieve my dreams of being a medical examiner and autopsy bodies for the rest of my life until I too end up belly open on that cold slab of steel.

The world is my oyster. Or rather, it’s Humbert Humbert’s. I’ve missed channeling him to do morally bankrupt things on the internet. Something in this stirred him, like a bear from hibernation in the spring.


Humbert Humbert started off as a joke until it wasn’t anymore, I take this shit serious. I hate to break it to you but some part of me doesn’t even consider it roleplaying, it’s a seamless transition from good, sweet, innocent young woman to horrible monster.

The world is my oyster, and I decided to let Humbert Humbert take the reins. It’s good to be back.
Do you find yourself slipping into humbertposting irl? The guys in the pat tomlinson thread have been talking recently about moments where they let "stalker child" slip in casual coversation.
The person that was going to buy my Switch changed her mind as "her nephews wanted a PS5 instead." no comment. Went to my physio appointment, but was turned away as they didn't accept my insurance and i couldn't pay up front. I did text my old boss to get an update of how things are going there, and I have a meeting with an employment assistance program later today. it finally snowed so i can't safely drive until i get newer tires that I can't afford. I'm just tired, I don't want to do this anymore.
this too shall pass, stay safe brother

@CoolFool, I wouldn't worry about it. I'm here because my public mask is a goofball sillyman and I can't bring myself to let that crack. Even if its anonymous, its good for you to be able to lay out the things you feel in some manner.

As for me, I finished christmas shopping finally so I'm glad I don't have to worry about that. I'm excited that I will finally get to spend some time with my sister's boyfriend as weird as that sounds, because they seem pretty serious but I haven't really gotten the chance to talk to him much and I'd hate it if he suddenly becomes my brother-in-law and I barely know the guy
 
Every time my supervisor fucks up (which is often), he doesn't have to face the music, I do and my coworkers do. He always has an attitude like "Oopsie! Gosh darn! Whoopsie, g'daw, I'll do good next time!" and every time I hear it I get closer to flipping my lid.

These aren't "Oopsie doodles" problems. These are "I've made a mistake and I'm now going to step it up to help fix it, and I'll immediately correct my behavior" problems.

Last "Oopsie doodle" involved me working 14 hours straight with no break and missing an appointment, because despite the severity of the situation he literally cried and went home early for me to handle it all rather than step it up. In my book you get fired for that.

"Oh bliblblbl! I know YOU can handle this!"
If you can't, why are you my boss? <this is what I always have to bite back.

My coworkers repeatedly tell me they want me to be in his position, but I don't feel ready. I think it's going to happen in the next year kiwi frens, but I don't know how I feel about it. This has all been a lot.

The higher up bosses asked me to get some more advanced certifications- this is definitely a sign they are considering me for those positions.

I've never had these sorts of issues before, never had these sorts of oppourtunities and choices to make, and no one in my family has worked in this sort of high turnover industry.
 
The higher up bosses asked me to get some more advanced certifications- this is definitely a sign they are considering me for those positions
Is there any way for you to hint this to your boss?
Like not tell him directly that this is going to happen, but make it clear that this is work that he's supposed to be doing and if he pushes it all into you he might find himself out of a job, and lacking the expertise to keep a similar job in the future.

At the bare minimum time to grow some balls a little and learn how to lead, offer to teach him how to do certain tasks and so on.
 
I recently moved states and am staying with my grandma until I find a job and I absolutely love her to bits, don't get me wrong, but the second we're together wether it be in a car or going out for diner she just talks incessantly like a machine gun. I like to call it LOPS (Lonely Old People Syndrome).

Is there any way to address this without coming across as a complete arsehole? Thanks lads, otherwise the job hunt is doing well and I'm liking it here :)
 
I'm great in so many ways. Top of mind tonight, though, is
A young person I know and love more than anything in the world other than my other progeny (all equal) tried to zoomer-splain the internet to me tonight. As in telling me how some people take edgy positions online unironically/satirically-but-sort-of-not, particularly gen zs who've all been brought up highly attuned to race issues/bias/etc. And how I just probably don't understand memes. Memes! I was like,

1702099733060.png


It was all I could do not to drop the name of certain places online I might or might not have spent time on in my life or now, nevermind that I was around for the damned stupid, stupid dancing baby in 1996 and every most every meme and gif since. Since before they were born, gosh.

I sound annoyed and I'm not, but golly early 20s people can be so absolutely certain. I shut my mouth and listened, then got critiqued for smiling and nodding. Probably blinked too much.

1702102923118.gif

:lol:

Then later these hearts-of-my-heart went for a drive nearby to see a house nearby that every year lights up a literal forest of Christmas trees and stopped at the liquor store before heading back, acting nonchalant (obvious) as if I didn't know or as if I cared/they needed to hide it. They are over or near drinking age, and though I don't typically serve for various reasons, it's not a situation where I've said it isn't allowed or that I forbid it. But I can't bring it up bc then they'll know I stalked them on find my when they were out. And though they stalk me all day long, it's not allowed if I do bc that's just way too annoying and invasive. :tomgirl:

Carping bc I got (unfairly! hmph!) boomer-boxed aside, I'm delighted to have a full house and doing Christmas stuff before 12/24, which has been my m.o. for too long, for reasons. Tomorrow we get to see one kid in action, then it's off to get fresh garland and spruce tops and wreaths and porch deco, then a tree on Sunday! Maybe some nog or cocoa, and cookie-baking. Coming up with a list of holiday stuff to do the next few weeks. It's looking like I likely won't have anyone home next summer (:_( (:_((:_(so I want to blot that out make all our time be really festive and special.

I recently moved states and am staying with my grandma until I find a job and I absolutely love her to bits, don't get me wrong, but the second we're together wether it be in a car or going out for diner she just talks incessantly like a machine gun. I like to call it LOPS (Lonely Old People Syndrome).

Is there any way to address this without coming across as a complete arsehole? Thanks lads, otherwise the job hunt is doing well and I'm liking it here :)
Lol, funny this "what do I do about annoying old people who are so eager to connect with me" comment came while I was whining about my kids disregarding my cool mom in my own mind status. :story:

I'd say: it's a compliment, and one that shouldn't be taken for granted ...but it's ok of you take out time for your own quiet/non-social time. Go to bed early or be absorbed in whatever or go elsewhere to have some quiet. And when it's time to interact - errands, dinner - be present and chat with her. Then when home you can go off on your own again. If you switch your mind to "present" when with her, you might enjoy it more - less "blah blah blah" and more opportunities for real conversations. But you may feel more like engaging with her in those times if otherwise you do set some limits/boundaries on time in common areas/space.
 
I recently moved states and am staying with my grandma until I find a job and I absolutely love her to bits, don't get me wrong, but the second we're together wether it be in a car or going out for diner she just talks incessantly like a machine gun. I like to call it LOPS (Lonely Old People Syndrome).

Is there any way to address this without coming across as a complete arsehole? Thanks lads, otherwise the job hunt is doing well and I'm liking it here :)
They get worried this is their only shot to talk with you, or anyone at all.

Intentionally saying "let's listen to music on the drive" etc can help. Make it less "free time" if that makes sense. Or lead the conversation yourself rather than letting grandma just start a'rolling. The more structure the better. Instead of coming home from work and grandma immediately ambushes you at the door to talk about her BM habits and upcoming doctor appointments, tell her you want to get settled so you can talk about your days over coffee/snacks/etc- and invite her to settle in to talk too, so you're not just saying "wait!" (They never like to wait)

Also just be assertive when you have to leave. The more times you stick around a little longer when you're trying to leave, the more frustrated and angsty everyone involved will get, and the stress sure adds up.

offer to teach him how to do certain tasks and so on.
He has decades of experience and is supposed to be training ME, but instead I literally came in to a piece of paper taped to the door "I trust that you got it!" instead of any training. Because he was too hungover to come to work.

I don't think there's much I can do: it's a personality issue.... and alcohol problem. I think part of why he treats massive fuckups as "whoopsie!" is because acknowledging it's a big deal means acknowledging that the drinking is a big deal- and he isn't ready for that. All of that is beyond my pay grade.

Upper mangement is weird and says we can't take any actions around the clear hangovers because he hasn't admitted he has an addiction so it could be discrimination or.... something. He never says he's drunk, so if it's actually some illness and they fire him for it they could be sued, is apparently the reasoning. I don't think this really adds up but what do I know? Well, I know that it was hard enough for them to find someone to take this job at all and so they're very reluctant to admit it's not working out.....

Things always work out one way or another.
 
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Even with overdosing on vitamins and remedies, I've gotten sick again due to public transit from the airport. This is the fourth time over the past two years I've gotten sick through someone on the flight next to me or right behind me coughing up a storm with no attempts at minimizing their infectiousness. Armenians, anyone in their sixties, Romanians, and various types of frijoles are the worst offenders.

If you're sick on public transport without a mask and you're coughing and sneezing into the fucking air, you deserve to be killed. I fully support lynchings for this selfish and retarded behavior.
Pretty sure that me getting the flu for the first time in years was because of these fucking idiots open mouth coughing in the break room at my job. (I know some of these troglodytes don't wash their hands after they use the bathroom either.) I want to submerge myself in bleach when I'm at work; everyone is so goddamn disgusting.

The person that was going to buy my Switch changed her mind as "her nephews wanted a PS5 instead." no comment. Went to my physio appointment, but was turned away as they didn't accept my insurance and i couldn't pay up front. I did text my old boss to get an update of how things are going there, and I have a meeting with an employment assistance program later today. it finally snowed so i can't safely drive until i get newer tires that I can't afford. I'm just tired, I don't want to do this anymore.
So I've never been able to afford four brand new tires right off the bat, what I've done is utilize a credit card that doesn't charge interest as long as you pay off the purchase within six months. Can I afford $600 tires? No, but I can afford to split that into six $100 payments. (I usually pay it off within four months depending on how well my finances are going.) I don't know if this is a viable option for you, but if it is, I hope its useful information. Also it doesn't hurt to shop around and get price quotes from smaller shops. I had to use this one shop multiple times because someone kept sabotaging my tire and that particular shop had tires for $75, along with cheaper options for slightly used tires.
Just when I thought I had my money in good working order, a giant metal thing in the road fucks up my car. It was late and dark, so I couldn't see the obstruction until it was too late. Evasive maneuver for the win, though, as I managed not to spin out despite fucking up the left side. There were some other people that hit it who didn't have good control of their cars, unfortunately.

Problem is, now I have to go pull my deductible out of my ass when things this month were already tight. Due to the extent of the damage, I can't just keep going with it as is, because I'm not entirely sure that the obstruction didn't catch on something under the car and rip something there. I'm more mad at the timing than anything else, because this is not the month where I can typically afford unexpected expenses.

Oh, and my Indian manager is up everyone's motherfucking ass even more than usual. I know we're just numbers to him and the holiday season is a bitch, but his attitude is killing what little morale we had left at my workplace.
 
...

is there anything stopping you two from being anonymous pen pals and seeing where that goes?
Aside from my concerns about doxxing, my possibly irrational fear of glowniggers, and the fact that if we hit it off and then she turned out to be ugly, I'd feel bad about it?

I'm sure there are a few normal kiwis on here but tbh most are spergs and there are even a few unironic nazis and troons on here, so uhhh I think I'll pass on using KF as a dating site lol
1. I live in a very rural area...

2. ...rural area and love a lot of aspects of it, there's also aspects I don't like or agree with...

3. You'd think that the guys from the city would have what I'm looking for, but that sadly hasn't been the case...

4. The last point is a problem I have seen with both rural and city guys, because this is a huge societal problem: being overweight or out of shape...
I don't think I'm that much of a sperg. That said, your points here actually made me want to respond just because it sounds like we come from similar backgrounds.

1 - I grew up in a very rural place like you describe, and yeah, it was just like that for me too. Nearly everyone I went to school with ended up married to someone they knew when they were in school. Most people didn't exactly go far from high school either, I doubt even half of them have even been out of the state in their lives.

2 - I'm not a Christian either, so that becomes a bit of a problem for me too. I am religious (not wacky about it or anything) but mine's not a common one around here so the people I tend to share values with tend to be the Christian types, but they only want other Christians. And I also don't care for the hunting/fishing type activites, never touch alcohol/tobacco/drugs, and don't like country or rap, which is what's hip with all the youths today. Everyone's a rap-loving pothead these days.
Funnily enough, it makes me want to move somewhere more rural again just to get away from all the people. Only thing really stopping me is that the place I want to move to would be far away from my parents, so they don't really want me to.

3 - The city girls are an absolute nightmare, that's where you find the "I demand the 6666 but I'm a single mother of kids from multiple men with nothing to offer" stereotypes. And that's even common in the low 20s these days. The ones that don't have kids hate kids and have replaced them with dogs, whereas I love kids, and have always wanted to have kids of my own and be a dad.
I think I take pretty good care of myself, always look decent when I'm out, unlike everyone these days in their sweatpants and lack of basic hygiene. Most city girls can't even cook, and I mean with a recipe. They can't, or rather don't, clean anything, or take any kind of responsibility for themselves. They can't even hold a basic conversation about anything, you have to do all the talking. They have no family values whatsoever, no love or respect for their parents, especially their fathers.
Can't really address the porn thing, I have plenty of hobbies, so I doubt I have a problem there, but I guess it's subjective.

4 - If you're actually in shape, I can understand wanting someone who's also in good shape, but you probably will have a hard time finding a guy in excellent shape that hasn't become obsessed with it. It's not very easy to be muscular unless you're really going all-in. As for me, I'm not obese or anything, but I am kind of overweight (working on it) but I've been lifting for about a year, with some decent results. I don't think my life revolves around the gym (I like the results, not so much the process) but I also do all my workouts at home.
Can you be a gym freak if you don't actually go to a gym?
 
Things are okay. I'm getting by and trying to stay positive. Its easy for me to get depressed during the winter season. I've also been forcing myself to socialize a bit more than usual this week to keep myself occupied. Started taking 5000IU of vitamin D to help as well, because I work overnight and get very little sunlight this time of year. It was alright for a few days, but I realized I need a lower dose as it began making me vomit after taking it.

My life is stable. I can afford things. Life isn't much of a struggle in terms of day-to-day survival these days. I feel like I shouldn't be struggling with sadness as often as I am.
Perhaps its a sign that I need to find the next thing. My thoughts have drifted to the future and I'm really not sure what I want from life. Unlike other periods of my life, though, I do have a generally positive outlook nowadays. I have options to explore and I'm still young.
 
I'm still extremely bitter about a particular group of former friends who royally screwed me over in a particular unceremonious way during my extremely nasty titanic clusterfuck of a "quarter-life crisis" years ago.

I consider my faith in Jesus Christ to be the foundation of my worldview and testimony nowadays... my religion is crucial to the stability and happiness in my life and has helped me overcome an insane amount of adversity- so I know it's extremely hypocritical of me to keep thinking this way, especially since I've had no contact with any of them whatsoever for years now. My mind keeps tearing itself apart between boiling resentment and playing Matthew 18:21-35 on loop- I know it's both sinful and unhealthy at this point. I don't know whether to talk to my Bishop or if I need to see a shrink at this rate.

I'm just beyond exhausted of this- I just want my mind and soul to move on and be grateful what happened wasn't worse (I very well could have ended up pushing daisies) and be thankful for the blessings I have in my life right now- including a family I've founded since then. I can't help but feel it's unfair to them for me to keep on this way.

Tl;DR - want to stop being an asshurt faggot over prehistoric shit and be a better Christian
 
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I consider my faith in Jesus Christ to be the foundation of my worldview and testimony nowadays... my religion is crucial to the stability and happiness in my life and has helped me overcome an insane amount of adversity
As someone who lost a group of friends when I hit my rock bottom, I didn't choose faith but I choose professional help which has helped me.

I think because of your closeness and comfort in your religion, talking with your bishop is the first step before professional help considering you feel so close to it. Which I was the opposite, which is why professional help did wonders for me. If that makes sense. It takes a lot of effort to hold hurt and resentment in your heart and takes away emotion you could have for others in a positive way. Hang in there.
 
Aside from my concerns about doxxing, my possibly irrational fear of glowniggers, and the fact that if we hit it off and then she turned out to be ugly, I'd feel bad about it?
Tale as old as time. Occasionally I have the fear of what if he looks too good to boot. I look very average and don't want to shoot above my paygrade.

My mind keeps tearing itself apart between boiling resentment and playing Matthew 18:21-35 on loop
I spent a lot of time and energy hating my ex-husband. But after some time and seperation, I am coming out of it. I pray for him now and his mother. I can't fix or change him but God can if He wants to. But I had to get away from him, unfortunately to do this.
 
Got overexposed to them online?
I made the mistake of browsing reddit. Unironically there's a scary amount of communists there and they are real people. It's awfully hard not to fedpost when I think about Gen Z/Millennial communists and how I'm unable to physically hurt them
 
I made the mistake of browsing reddit. Unironically there's a scary amount of communists there and they are real people. It's awfully hard not to fedpost when I think about Gen Z/Millennial communists and how I'm unable to physically hurt them
Oh, going to Reddit was your main mistake. Especially possibly going to a political or nerd culture related part, those are unbearable. I wouldn't mind them if they were communists or whatever, the problem is they have no other personality than their "politics" and faggot shit. That's all. It's all they can talk about, it's the only context they will ever consider. That is why they are extremely boring, predictable and tiresome.
 
Feeling much better, my lungs are still having a hard time at night but the flu-like symptoms have resolved. My MIL wants to take the kids to a Christmas event at the country club soon so we're thinking about accepting and then just napping during those few hours to speed things along.
I'm always very thankful for my family, but reading so much about dating woes is really strengthening my gratitude that we found each other before things were so fucked. I can't imagine dating now, the stories I hear even from friends are harrowing. It's so comfy to be married to the person I've loved and admired most in the world, to have built a stable and strong marriage, and to have had children who we now also love more than anything in the world and who we get to see grow up and reflect this or that trait or idiosyncrasy either one of us has.
I'm really chimping out on Christmas this year, last year I had a very young baby, a toddler, and a preschooler so there's a few things that had to fall by the wayside, but they're all older now and we've adjusted to life with the changed dynamics every time a new baby is born so I'm going crazy again with creating memories for the kids and making sure everything feels special and festive. We do at least one thematic craft every day, we do a holiday bake from around the world once or twice a week, and I've been looking for free Christmas activities whenever the weather is nice. I feel great about the presents I chose for everyone since my husband leaves it up to me, and can't wait to see them opening them. Work is crazy for my husband so it's my way as a SAHM to match his energy once the chores are done and everyone's happy and fed, lol.
 
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