How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

I just dropped $1100 on an electric scooter because my back-up ebike is cooked. No idea what happened to it, just won't turn on and nobody is willing to fix it except for maybe a guy who is 2 hours away and I'd have to take 3 fucking buses to get to who won't even guarantee that even he will be able to fix it, and even if he can, who knows how much the replacement parts will be plus labor. Dead at 3 years. I am baffled. I just recently got it a new tire and tube, drove the thing home and now that I needed it it's toast.

I don't want to waste any more time and money on it, so I'm taking the loss and replacing it, hoping that I have better luck with an electric scooter. This way, if this one breaks due to an electrical issue it'll be easy to get it fixed due to how much easier it is to transport. Needless to say I'm pretty pissed. I'm just glad I had enough money saved up for this disaster. ugh

The guys who would usually fix my ebike no longer work at my regular bike shop. They were the only ones who knew how to fix these kinds of issues.

If my other ebike bites the dust I might get them both fixed at the same time at some point. Hmm.
It hurts so much but I see the custom knee surgeon tomorrow for whatever bad news he has to say. It doesn't really matter 'cause I'm going to have to have it fixed. One surgery, twelve-teen, not trying for tranny levels and I'm not posting pics of my new knee vagina, sorry kiwi bros.
You have my sympathies. The worst I have to worry about is ingrown toenails. At least for now.
 
I.... might be pregnant. Or it might be a cyst or a fibroid or some other fuckery.
It shouldn't be a baby, the vasectomy worked, why would it fail now. There's no big fat positive pregnancy test. There is a shadow on the test. But it might just be cheap tests, I guess.
But something's going on, and I probably only get to ignore that for another week or so before I have to submit to investigations. I don't like being poked around so I am hoping whatever it is clarifies itself.
It is fair to say a sixth kid was not in our plan, hence the snip, but neither were three, four and five, so we can't say we weren't warned. I really am too old for this though. Four and five aren't even in school yet. >.<
From all my years chasing a Big Fat Positive, after 6 miscarriages, and being a member of so many TTC forums and communities, Usually even a shadow on a test means there is a hormone bringing the shadow.

Please test again every 2 days.

Sending you lots of love and support. I have no words of advice, because I only have 3 children and that is financially, psychologically and physically hard at times, so I am in so much awe and admiration of you for producing more humans than I.

You've got this.
I.... might be pregnant. Or it might be a cyst or a fibroid or some other fuckery.
It shouldn't be a baby, the vasectomy worked, why would it fail now. There's no big fat positive pregnancy test. There is a shadow on the test. But it might just be cheap tests, I guess.
But something's going on, and I probably only get to ignore that for another week or so before I have to submit to investigations. I don't like being poked around so I am hoping whatever it is clarifies itself.
It is fair to say a sixth kid was not in our plan, hence the snip, but neither were three, four and five, so we can't say we weren't warned. I really am too old for this though. Four and five aren't even in school yet. >.<
 
I.... might be pregnant. Or it might be a cyst or a fibroid or some other fuckery.
It shouldn't be a baby, the vasectomy worked, why would it fail now. There's no big fat positive pregnancy test. There is a shadow on the test. But it might just be cheap tests, I guess.
But something's going on, and I probably only get to ignore that for another week or so before I have to submit to investigations. I don't like being poked around so I am hoping whatever it is clarifies itself.
It is fair to say a sixth kid was not in our plan, hence the snip, but neither were three, four and five, so we can't say we weren't warned. I really am too old for this though. Four and five aren't even in school yet. >.<
Do have it checked out, my mom had an apparent pregnancy in her mid-40's, and it turned out to be uterine myomas (fibroids), which usually are benign, but in her case one was starting to become cancerous, and she had to have a hysterectomy.
The sooner you figure things out, the better, lass.

I wish you the best, whatever the situation may be.
 
I.... might be pregnant. Or it might be a cyst or a fibroid or some other fuckery.
It shouldn't be a baby, the vasectomy worked, why would it fail now. There's no big fat positive pregnancy test. There is a shadow on the test. But it might just be cheap tests, I guess.
But something's going on, and I probably only get to ignore that for another week or so before I have to submit to investigations. I don't like being poked around so I am hoping whatever it is clarifies itself.
It is fair to say a sixth kid was not in our plan, hence the snip, but neither were three, four and five, so we can't say we weren't warned. I really am too old for this though. Four and five aren't even in school yet. >.<
would you prefer it if it was a healthy baby or a fibroid or something? Or would you rather not answer as that could lead to regret if you were wrong?
 
would you prefer it if it was a healthy baby or a fibroid or something? Or would you rather not answer as that could lead to regret if you were wrong?
Tough question, honestly. Four and Five start school next month, so I've had in mind for a while that this would be a kind of shift in our family life, if you know what I mean? No longer having anyone at home all (school) day?
A number Six would effectively be hitting the reset button on that, which is... a thought. I think it just isn't anything I anticipated, so there's a mental gear shift around "oh this might actually happen".
There's also the very fucking sobering thought that I would be nearly 48 when hypothetical Six starts school. I mean, there's a point where you're really fucking old to be a mum of a toddler and we are definitely there. Husband definitely feels we are there. One through Five are all pretty close together in age, too, so Six would be very much the little one and it bothers me that they would be left not out, not in any intentional or malicious way, just they'd be very much younger and not going through things at a similar time to the big ones.
But, I have been besotted with every one of our children, and Six wouldn't be any different. It's not like I don't know the ropes by now. A healthy baby is a blessing, however they come. That in itself isn't guaranteed in a pregnancy at my age. That would break my heart.
I obviously don't want them to find some fucking massive cancer, but that's not particularly likely, so I'm not worrying about that.
If it's a healthy baby, I will count myself blessed, and if it's something else but readily fixable, I'm at peace with that.
 
Been down that road, potentially consider keeping an eye open for positions outside of your current business that align with where you want your career to progress and look to make that jump elsewhere if/when you feel ready to do so. Even if they're promising a promotion and you're hearing it from multiple people within the business, there's a very high chance that same cycle will repeat in 18 months time. Hell even if it doesn't and they do offer a raise/better position etc, internal promotions will almost always not keep you in line with market rate either, not to mention they potentially may keep piling more and more onto your workload as it's already an established process, and you are worth far more than that. That's a fantastic review preview though regardless, good stuff

Thanks!

I'm okay with the prospects at this point. I'm at a decent level, and there are people with the same title I have who've been in it for a decade+ and aren't being given (and/or maybe don't want!) the opportunities to expand, so at least I don't feel immediately fireable.

For me, I'm playing career catch-up after taking some years off for personal reasons. I've held higher positions, but that's history, and I am glad for this one. I legit work 2x+ what most do and have done for almost 2 years - bc I'm thirsty, bc it's new, and bc I've been given a lot of opportunity. And I know how it goes - 98% of my career has been with dysfunctional, terrorizing places that made you feel like you could be fired at any moment - and that was a 100% rational fear. And even if this place isn't the same brand of shark tank, corporate winds blow, and politics are politics, plus no guarantees of anything, ever.

If I start hearing budget this or promotion freeze that, I'll be looking. I've seen it play out, and I worked to be The One. But there's continuing, massive change - "efficiencies," market consolidation, and release of many - not even bc the company is doing poorly (the opposite), but for other reasons. We are all fungible.

I will say this: if the positive signals wane, I know that killing myself has enhanced my credible/marketable skills, along with my personal sense of capability, so if there are jobs to be gotten, I'll be better placed for them. I DON'T WANT TO BUT. And barring total fuckups by me or total disaster/ massive change of direction or RIFs, current position is an OK one - work's good, people are good, money's OK.

But I do basically (mostly) work as if (almost) everyday is squid game day, bc that's life in the big leagues CFL. I'll never be Superstar (tm) Tom Brady (goat), nor even Bo Nix (lady-in-waiting), just trying not to be Ryan Leaf (🌋) or Christian Ponder (🃏). Call me current-day Joe Flacco (🥉), if the stars align.

I.... might be pregnant. Or it might be a cyst or a fibroid or some other fuckery.
It shouldn't be a baby, the vasectomy worked, why would it fail now. There's no big fat positive pregnancy test. There is a shadow on the test. But it might just be cheap tests, I guess.
But something's going on, and I probably only get to ignore that for another week or so before I have to submit to investigations. I don't like being poked around so I am hoping whatever it is clarifies itself.
It is fair to say a sixth kid was not in our plan, hence the snip, but neither were three, four and five, so we can't say we weren't warned. I really am too old for this though. Four and five aren't even in school yet. >.<
Oh, my! Well, lady, I wish you the best and hope that everything turns out wonderfully, whatever that is for you.

I might suggest a different, good-rep pee stick before heading to the doc...or just get in there now and get a blood test (it's just a poke!) (ha,ha,ha, that's what he said...and now look! Sorry, I couldn't help it, I swear)
:feels:
 
I just got done helping my dad out with his move. The dude is working like a Hebrew slave on this shit and he almost crashed out on the road before he got his nap. Luckily, he's almost done with this crap and he won't need much more help anymore but he should really pace himself. People tell me that I shouldn't be as lazy as I am and that might be true but they also shouldn't strain themselves from 4 AM to midnight on big projects like that either. I might order a U-HAUL this weekend if he still needs help.
 
I was subjected to soccer today for the first time in a decade and holy shit it's so boring. The fact that people care as much as they do is nothing short of surreal. They kept showing a logo that looks like a hitachi on a pride flag:
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Anyway I have another blood protein test tomorrow and the results keep coming back low so I've eaten 43 chicken wings, if that's not enough I'm just going to lay down on the ground and shrivel up.
 
I just had a chest x-ray and pulmonary function test. But I have to wait until the 24th to see a doctor. And that's not even a specialist. i have to have a primary to get set up with anything further. I have no idea what's going on. I thought it was asthma. but the albuterol I got for the test didn't help much. There's always a pain on the left side of my chest and it feels like something is stuck in the middle of my sternum. I know I have scar tissue. But I have a bad history with pneumonia and my grandmother died of lung cancer. I seriously doubt I have that as I have never smoked and am too young. But practically my entire family smokes like chimneys and I have been breathing secondhand smoke in my whole life. That probably didn't help whatever is wrong.

Maybe it's just chronic bronchitis. I have no idea. I'm hoping I can get some pill or inhaler that makes it stop already.
 
Tough question, honestly. Four and Five start school next month, so I've had in mind for a while that this would be a kind of shift in our family life, if you know what I mean? No longer having anyone at home all (school) day?
A number Six would effectively be hitting the reset button on that, which is... a thought. I think it just isn't anything I anticipated, so there's a mental gear shift around "oh this might actually happen".
There's also the very fucking sobering thought that I would be nearly 48 when hypothetical Six starts school. I mean, there's a point where you're really fucking old to be a mum of a toddler and we are definitely there. Husband definitely feels we are there. One through Five are all pretty close together in age, too, so Six would be very much the little one and it bothers me that they would be left not out, not in any intentional or malicious way, just they'd be very much younger and not going through things at a similar time to the big ones.
But, I have been besotted with every one of our children, and Six wouldn't be any different. It's not like I don't know the ropes by now. A healthy baby is a blessing, however they come. That in itself isn't guaranteed in a pregnancy at my age. That would break my heart.
I obviously don't want them to find some fucking massive cancer, but that's not particularly likely, so I'm not worrying about that.
If it's a healthy baby, I will count myself blessed, and if it's something else but readily fixable, I'm at peace with that.
And, may I humbly suggest that the vasectomy gets checked out?!

Ask husband to request a sperm count/sperm viability test. If they ask why, just present your post-vasectomy children to the doctor with a flourishing "Ta-Dah!!!!"
 
Apparently mom accidentally let Bob and Beatrice outside. Im gonna be sick. If anything happens to them I don't know what I'm gonna do. My cats are one of the few good things in my life at the moment. If anything happens I don't know if I'll be alright.

Yes I know cats are smart and can find their way home, but that doesn't make it better, they're like my babies. I'm gonna lose my mind. I'm going to fucking lose it.
 
And, may I humbly suggest that the vasectomy gets checked out?!

Ask husband to request a sperm count/sperm viability test. If they ask why, just present your post-vasectomy children to the doctor with a flourishing "Ta-Dah!!!!"
Already booked, happening tomorrow :-/ He is not a happy man about this turn of events. It checked out clear post-surgery obviously. He got the usual spiel about "it can heal up" but like, that sounds like bullshit to me. There is no way it is a baby. I've got a private ultrasound next week to peek at what's going on in there.
 
My birthday is on Friday. I am not sure how I feel about it. Birthdays are usually an eh time for me over all. To many deaths in, and around, my birth date, you know? Either way, it's less exciting and more somber for me.

@isalaide Good luck and god speed, friend. I hope it's not anything malicious or deadly. Also, perimenopause/menopause itself can cause false positives on pregnancy tests too. You are in the right age range for it. So it could possibly be that. Either way, I wish you the best.
 
I give myself a very expensive asthma auto-injector drug that works unbelievably well, with a prescribed regimen of once every two weeks. After some unauthorized experimentation, I've found I really only need to take it once a month. If I admitted I was doing this, my insurance would stop paying for the drug because I'm breaking the protocol. I also have to receive another drug that I no longer need, because I'm required to take it to qualify for the drug that I DO need. It's such a wasteful clusterfuck - I now have over a year worth of this goddamn stuff taking up more and more space in my refrigerator every month because I'm only taking half the dosage I receive every month.

So I finally decided to go down to this Catholic church-sponsored free clinic today and try to donate my growing stash of medicines. I fully expected yet another nightmare of faggy medical bureaucracy. "Well, where did you get the drug?! Are you dealing it on the street? How do we know you've kept it refrigerated? How do we verify the chain of custody? Well, you'll have to sign these documents in triplicate and we'll get back to you in six to eight weeks after we've run a background check, conferred with your doctor, and had your home staked out by a private investigator."

But instead they just... took it and thanked me profusely for bringing it in. I didn't have to do anything or jump through any hoops. I hope they use that drug to help somebody as much as it helped me a few years back. The situation reaffirmed my faith in humanity just a tiny little bit.
 
But instead they just... took it and thanked me profusely for bringing it in. I didn't have to do anything or jump through any hoops. I hope they use that drug to help somebody as much as it helped me a few years back. The situation reaffirmed my faith in humanity just a tiny little bit.
I'd make a wild guess they know exactly what you did but do not give one single shit because helping people is more important.
 
So I finally decided to go down to this Catholic church-sponsored free clinic today and try to donate my growing stash of medicines. I fully expected yet another nightmare of faggy medical bureaucracy. "Well, where did you get the drug?! Are you dealing it on the street? How do we know you've kept it refrigerated? How do we verify the chain of custody? Well, you'll have to sign these documents in triplicate and we'll get back to you in six to eight weeks after we've run a background check, conferred with your doctor, and had your home staked out by a private investigator."

But instead they just... took it and thanked me profusely for bringing it in. I didn't have to do anything or jump through any hoops. I hope they use that drug to help somebody as much as it helped me a few years back. The situation reaffirmed my faith in humanity just a tiny little bit.

I once went to purchase medical equipment from a church thrift store that was kept behind the counter and I also worried that they were going to grill me about it and if I really needed it or not. They had like 5 cases for sale so I went to buy one. They asked if I knew these were the correct ones for me. I said yeah and I was surprised they had them. They gave me the other 4 cases for free :)
Probably saved me like 400 dollars.



Insomnia!!!!!
 
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