Get a "professional" job which is more of popularity contest
Explain, please.
"Work on yourself" to the point you either become some swole millionaire who's shallow or become a hermit drawing away from everything society celebrates. Fill your life with empty shallow shit that doesn't solve the issue.
Disagree these polars are the only options.
Fill your life with empty shallow shit that doesn't solve the issue.
Agree, useless. Temporary balm, at best. Doesn't mean that every physical thing is useless - some people prefer rooms full of books to seeing the world; others are the opposite. Which is better?
...Trick question!: it doesn't matter what any of them do or have or care/don't care about.
I feel like we're in the late 90s again, where people are just tired and having a somewhat realistic nihilism about the world they're inhabiting.
The late 90s were fucking fantastic. No lie. For all the change, it was a massive growth period and highly optimistic. (And I mean economically and every other way.)
Main difference is things are all a bit worse
Quite a bit.
and we don't have any shows/music agreeing with us and telling us to wake up.
I love democracy, but the democratization of media and flooding of people's inputs by unfiltered, unmanaged "creators," both formal and informal (informal meaning online communities, twitteridiots, etc.) is a pox.
Oh and one more thing. I said it before and I'll say it again:
"Wherever you go, there you are" is fucking retarded. There are certain places that absolutely cause higher levels of depression, addiction, crime and despair, almost by design. I'm in one of them. I know as soon as I get the fuck out of here, I'll be great. Just making it through that time without eating a bullet is the hard part.
The original point of that statement was essentially to say "be here now."
.... Somehow it became revised to "if you're the problem, face & deal with that." Then third-tier interpretation has become "you're always the problem."
Wrong.
The original point was about being present, checked in, not "nothing ever changes, there's no point in trying to find a place that works for you, you just suck, or you think wrong."
Beyond that, no
sensible person worth listening to has ever said, "it's stupid to move away (literally and/or figuratively) from terrible things, awful people, or places that throttle you."
I mean, plenty of naysayers, maleficents, and sourpusses - or mere skeptics, and even some well-wishers - will say, "oh, you can't" or "why would you do that."
But the overall ethos (of America and many places) is "go, do!" That's what all of emigration, all of creating America in the first place, all of people moving to "the big city" (whether that's tcotu or just the nearest 10k person town) to find opportunity is all about. You go places and do things because you have either specific goals or just a general sense that place X is loserville (or just limited, maybe) as far as you and your aspirations are concerned.
I encourage you and everyone on Earth NOT ever to look to the internet for inspiration or interpretation. Ironically, the internet, which connects us to more of the world than ever possible in human history, has narrowed ideas and perspective incalculably. Not typically a slogan slinger, but RESIST.
I'm convinced most people are happy as pigs in shit. They're fine with empty, hedonistic lives full of drama and vice.
If I really wanted to, I could get rid of everything and just leave. Just go. At a certain point, things own you more than you own them.
I don't want to be the equivalent of some trustfund/6 digit salary guy who "bravely" quits their job and gets an RV or any stupid shit.
Kind comment: don't worry about other people and what they are doing, what they have, what they care about, how shallow or genuine they are, their peccadilloes, crimes, or achievements. Sure, of course, pay attention to economics and paying for what you want, but what other people have or do really is not relevant to and shouldn't shape your life.
It's a weird societal gaslighting that's gotten prevalent over time. Which is hilarious considering it completely obfuscates a lot of the situations that they would be responding to.
"Um sweety, it doesn't matter if you grew up in an abusive home and that predators often seek out people with low self esteem. Negative feedback loops totes don't exist. If everywhere you go smells like shit, maybe it's time to check your shoes, hmmmm."
"Oh you can't get women to date you? It's because you're an obvious weirdo giving them the ick. Women never choose shitty partners ever! Oh but you gotta have confidence and love yourself, by the way."
It's the modern day equivalent of "What were you wearing?"
You're right, and that's why getting away from/ reducing exposure it is a good thing to do. That and not relying on watered-down (mis)interpretations of every freaking thing as telling you what "is" or what to listen to.
Yes, sweaty,
sometimes even non-evil people unknowingly contribute to their own suffering. They do; doesn't make them "equally at fault" in some moral sense. People victimized and fucked up aren't accountable for things that shitty people do. Shitty people are 100% responsible for the bad things they do. No victim "made" a shitty person do anything.
BUT. If we know we tend to do [X thing not for our own good], we ideally start fortifying ourselves against that vulnerability. As a matter of survival and growth and self protection and all those other self- things I yammer on about, someone who does somehow see a little more clearly, starts shoring up their own borders, or creates the beginnings of a free self needs to stay focused on those things that benefit them.
An abused/used/poorly-treated person is never "responsible" for what someone did to them - if it's bad, it's bad, objectively. But we can do better for ourselves once we see through them. And in the game where no one is keeping score but you and your life, it's not about who was more at fault**
**
big caveat here: I'm talking about
adults and
adults, number one. And two, not adults with people who have abused them since [childhood / youth], just the people they encounter later and after they've understood the patterns. And three, independent adults - not dependent on an abusive person for survival or so warped by bad influence that they are incapable of living independently.
"Who is at fault" can be extremely useful in understanding the patterns of one's life - so again I'm not saying it's a mistreated person's fault that people shit on them. I'm just saying that at a certain point of life and awareness, people who unfortunately attract or keep running into bad actors are very well-served to learn those red flags and why they might be susceptible to them or to ignoring them, and to get tf out of dodge when encountering them later on.
* (It's the title of a book on meditation by Jon Kabat-Zinn, and one site described the key points as:
- People tend to go through their lives without ever truly being present.
- Mindfulness, or living in the moment can help to make a person’s life more fulfilling.
- Anybody is capable of living in a mindful manner. It just takes practice.
- Meditation is not an activity solely practiced by cults. Its positive impact is backed up by scientific evidence.
- You do not need to be a Buddhistto practice meditation.
- The practice of mindfulness may be simple, but it is never easy.
- There is no correct way to meditate. Different techniques work for different people.
- There are many roadblocks to meditation, but with a little work, these can be turned into helpfultools.
