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Full body hives
Enjoy your benedryl nap.


Very recently I discovered that there's an entire world and community devoted to selling post-surgery care products.... for a surgery I had years ago and white-knuckled with a single pill of vicodin, a lot of baby wipes and a shaved head, and back to work two weeks later. I know everyone is different but these people act like it's fucking mandatory to buy this supportive pillow, this accessible shirt, and fifty thousand pieces of post-surgery gear. One of the specialty stores sold bullshit 45 dollar essential oil candles in their "must have post-surgery" list. It ticked me off.

I guess I can't really knock it -I am shopping for post-surgery products years down the line- but Jesus Christ, gauze pads and medical tape are cheap. It feels gross that people are selling shit at giant markups because it's "for your recovery!!!" And 90% of it is obviously targeted to women, despite the fact that it's not really a gendered condition. From what I know about the whole "pink" breast cancer awareness stuff, it's really profitable to sell to sick women like that, so they don't sell that stuff towards men even for a non-gendered condition.... because you don't actually need 60 dollar special pillows, a rolled up towel is probably even better.
 
I kinda forgot what it feels like to have (good) friends, until a colleague (close colleague? almost friend? is there a term for that?) from work called me yesterday evening just to talk, because we haven't seen each other for over three weeks now. We've talked about everything & nothing for two hours; ever since then I feel like I'm carrying a weird, warm ball around in my chest that makes everything feel just a little bit lighter & better.
 
I saw a white hair pop up in my head. Seeing the genetics from my father and how much we are physically similar, I will have to deal with the fact that I will have totally white hair by the time I'm forty. Cool stuff. If it's good enough for Frank Drebin, I guess it's good enough for me. And don't call me Shirley.
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In the 20 minutes it took me to grab a few things from the store this afternoon, I saw a shirtless tweaker carrying a machete screaming that he “fucking hates you!” and “will fucking kill you!” to anyone he saw, another tweaker trying to get money from me “so he canz feedz his fambilly n sheet gnomesayin dawg” and another methbilly passed out in front of the store in a puddle of his own piss and vomit.

Can we please send in an army equipped with flamethrowers now? Please? It’s almost my birthday you can make it my present and I’ll love you long time.
 
I do not enjoy living, it's all just bullshit 24/7. All that I ask is I'm allowed to suffer in peace.

It's possible to suffer and not spread said suffering and I try my damnedest to not spread my deep seated unhappiness.
People enjoy the opportunity to help others, permitted they have the means. Talking to somebody or accepting help can be a win-win even if it doesn't seem like it.
 
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People enjoy the opportunity to help others, permitted they have the means. Talking to somebody or accepting help can be a win-win even if it doesn't seem like it.
The problem is I am just genuinely tired of trying to deal with other human beings. It's so incredibly fucking draining.

I just want to be alone and bother nobody, does that make me bad?
 
The problem is I am just genuinely tired of trying to deal with other human beings. It's so incredibly fucking draining.
I completely agree with you because I feel that way too. I wish it were easier to just walk away from society.

I just want to be alone and bother nobody, does that make me bad?
Nope! That's how I feel too.
 
Wasn't raised religious and only the last couple years started reading and taking theology seriously. Anyone have any favorite passages or verses to look up and meditate on?
The imprecatory psalms are some of my favorite. There's also that cool one where the angel hits a guy and gets him eaten by worms. That was kind of cool.
Tax: I'm doing ok. I've been getting back into this gacha game lately and I'm fairly certain my family house will belong to me soon or at the very least the mortgage won't be a problem. Life could have been WAY better had I been more mature and made some better decisions here and there but life goes on. I'm glad that I at least didn't get into drugs or fall afoul of the law.
 
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Work has been maddening. It's all but confirmed my job is a dead end with the megacorp no longer allowing transfers or hires that aren't in the office (in another state) and I don't want to go to the fucking office. I've been demoted, which I'm very unhappy with, but that should have been the end of my boss giving me bullshit, but now she's whining about what I wrote in my quarterly performance review not being good enough. To make things worse our team is supposed to meet in person next month. I really don't want to have to see her in person, nor do I want to travel to their stupid office. I'm also just plain dreading Monday and the workweek in general.

I haven't been able to get a new job despite interviewing for over 6 months. Should I start lying on my resume? Just throw a bullet point saying I did some AI work or something at my last job?

2 days is not fucking enough for the weekend.
 
It's honestly crazy how different my life is from 2 years ago. Two years ago, we were still reeling after a miscarriage, wondering when or even if we'd try again. Today, we celebrated the baptism of our son, after less than two weeks ago, a rather serious health diagnosis he had been given less than a month after birth was reversed, as they determined it was a recessive variant and he is only a carrier. God is good, and miracles do happen.
 
In the 20 minutes it took me to grab a few things from the store this afternoon, I saw a shirtless tweaker carrying a machete screaming that he “fucking hates you!” and “will fucking kill you!” to anyone he saw, another tweaker trying to get money from me “so he canz feedz his fambilly n sheet gnomesayin dawg” and another methbilly passed out in front of the store in a puddle of his own piss and vomit.

Can we please send in an army equipped with flamethrowers now? Please? It’s almost my birthday you can make it my present and I’ll love you long time.
Sadly, I witness and experience shit like that too.

I get sick of dealing with mentally ill homeless people too. I hate how my community, like so many others these days, puts homeless people on a pedestal and refuses to do anything about them. At one point in my life, I took pity on the homeless and did volunteering in an attempt to be a "part of the solution" as the left likes to say. It was 4 years wasted on nothing but hopeless broken ingrates who have no prospects. Many homeless are fine with staying that way because that's how they get free shit. If they improved their lives, then they couldn't be perpetual victims doted on by activists anymore.

I hate that I can't even visit my nearby downtown anymore because of the crime caused by the homeless. The activists treat the homeless like children making innocent mistakes instead of as adults making bad decisions. I'm being very generous when I say that most homeless people should be spending their lives in mental hospitals. For their own good and everyone else's. The worst of the worst should either be in prison or dead. Very few of the homeless are normal people down on their luck. That's an outdated myth that needs to die.

What a lot of pro-homeless activists either don't realize or outright deny is that no matter how much money, benefits, jobs, and, ironically, homes you give to the homeless, it will never truly fix them like they think it will. They make a huge miscalculation in assuming that the vast majority of homeless people are just normal people who need things to be happy. That drug-addicted mentally ill homeless guy who's threatening or assaulting you is still going to be a drug-addicted mentally ill homeless guy even if you throw money at him.

Recently, I got into a brief arguement with one of my coworkers about the homeless. She insisted that she's "used to it." As if tolerating such people makes it okay. She didn't like it when I pointed out that people like her must think it's cute and funny when a homeless person terrorizes normal people. The truth often hurts.

Sorry for the long autistic rant. I just had to get that out of my system. Naturally, I agree with you too.
 
Very few of the homeless are normal people down on their luck. That's an outdated myth that needs to die.
You see this from the "anti homeless" side for lack of a better term. "Meh they should get a job. Why don't they get a job?"

When the issue is, as you mentioned, severe mental illness and addiction. Indeed it would just be best to throw them into a mental facility and at the very least either keep them there for their own and everyone else's safety or try to make them functional enough to roam society unsupervised.

Anyway foster mom called and I didn't answer. Then she called a second time and I gave into pressure despite being NC.

She jokingly complained about how difficult it is to contact me and I kinda closed myself off mentally and socially. When I get into conscious defense mode, I tend to be standoffish and aloof.

I guess she noticed that? Idk but anyway she was here to tell me about the family friend that died. I told her that I already knew and she seemed baffled that others had told me before her.

She then went on brag and grandstand about how she totes called first so she was way ahead and how she actually called when he was alive!

Which is basically impossible considering the timeline of phonecalls so she just lied to my face. But regardless why does that even matter?

What sociopathic fucking untermensch feels the need to brag about telling someone that a person has died first?

I was angry and irritated and disgusted for the rest of the day and just flatout blocked her number after that. Pressure and guilt be damnded.

Now I'm off to the store. I want to make a tuna salad
 
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