How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Catch The Rainbow]

I'm up late waiting for a cranky baby to go back to sleep and I'm pretty happy though tired. I had a weekend away from him and his mother due to circumstances but I didn't account for how much I would miss the little guy. It's amazing how a kid changes your sense of self. I obviously missed my wife as well but I was subconsciously worried about the little guy.

My elderly friend got hurt a while back and he's stuck in his room all day. Might take my laptop and work from his apartment to keep him company. Old age is frightening in how it messes you up and leaves you at others mercy. My friend did everything right and yet his son doesn't visit.

 

[Uncle Tom's Condo]

Well cool. Found out that one girl I coached in middle school is now a fent junky in Portland. She's circling the drain and it's going to end poorly. Her dad is a fuck up and her mom flew the coop after birth. Goddammit.

Working for these Keeeeds fucking sucks.

e: one of Fenty's cohorts I also coached is doing great and has a business with her dad, and her own side thing and is on the city council at like 28 or w/e. So it's not all shit and misery. Glad she's doing well.

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

I legitimately do not believe I deserve the amount of fucking hatred I receive from my family and the world at large.
Hell, I don't even think I should hate *myself* this damned much.

I'm sorry I'm a fucking sperg who is indeed intelligent, but can't hold down a fucking job for shit. Man, I'm just a fucking loser, I'm not the second coming of Mengele or whatever the fuck.

It just isn't right. I'm sorry I can't fucking work and I have my quirks with my bullshit broken ass brain... but man... Is being unemployed and on SSI really worse than fucking being a rapist? Is it really that fucking bad?

I don't know, I think I just need to accept my family hates me and I was never truly wanted. Probably one of my very earliest memories was my mom screaming at me in the car and telling me she just should have aborted me "like the other one".
The one thing that gives me any hope is recognizing that there is that sort of darkness in my heart and I do not want to act on it. Sure, I say edgy bullshit online here and there, but I think deep down I just want better for everyone. Very, VERY rarely do I ever not want that.

I'm all fucked up guys, all I hope is I'm at least funny and can try to not be a fucking prick. I just want a fucking bullshit remote sysadmin job so I can have some money for myself and maybe try to pretend to be an adult for a bit. I legitimately have a fucking encyclopedia level knowledge of various OS's, hardware, telecom/networking bullshit et cetera, I just cannot fucking prove it to anyone and I cannot find fucking work my autistic ass can handle. I genuinely want to fucking work and I hate myself for feeling like a goddamned parasite.

"I'm nuts nigga!" lol, fitting pfp I suppose.

 

[Agarathium1066]

Is being unemployed and on SSI really worse than fucking being a rapist? Is it really that fucking bad?

That's one hell of red hot take. Sounds like they're just trying to get to you by blasting histrionics and its clearly wearing at you. If you can in the moment remember that this is quite likely what they're hoping to do. Do not rise to their bullshit.

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

I legitimately do not believe I deserve the amount of fucking hatred I receive from my family and the world at large.

Maybe

I'm sorry I can't fucking work and I have my quirks with my bullshit broken ass brain... but man... Is being unemployed and on SSI really worse than fucking being a rapist?

stop

Man, I'm just a fucking loser, I'm not the second coming of Mengele or whatever the fuck.

saying

There was a Holocaust to survive?

dumb

NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

shit

Total. White. Victory.

in

I do these things. I am treated like a freak.

public.

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

Maybe

stop

saying

dumb

shit

in

public.

I do not say any of this shit in public, and all of that, was me either being factitious, or just venting frustration at stupid shit. Admittedly, I've gone off the deep end politically as of late and I do realize it doesn't come from a good place. I need to do better.

It's a shitty reactionary response and I'm aware of it I guess.

 

[Lukie]

I legitimately do not believe I deserve the amount of fucking hatred I receive from my family and the world at large.
Hell, I don't even think I should hate *myself* this damned much.

I'm sorry I'm a fucking sperg who is indeed intelligent, but can't hold down a fucking job for shit. Man, I'm just a fucking loser, I'm not the second coming of Mengele or whatever the fuck.

It just isn't right. I'm sorry I can't fucking work and I have my quirks with my bullshit broken ass brain... but man... Is being unemployed and on SSI really worse than fucking being a rapist? Is it really that fucking bad?

I don't know, I think I just need to accept my family hates me and I was never truly wanted. Probably one of my very earliest memories was my mom screaming at me in the car and telling me she just should have aborted me "like the other one".
The one thing that gives me any hope is recognizing that there is that sort of darkness in my heart and I do not want to act on it. Sure, I say edgy bullshit online here and there, but I think deep down I just want better for everyone. Very, VERY rarely do I ever not want that.

I'm all fucked up guys, all I hope is I'm at least funny and can try to not be a fucking prick. I just want a fucking bullshit remote sysadmin job so I can have some money for myself and maybe try to pretend to be an adult for a bit. I legitimately have a fucking encyclopedia level knowledge of various OS's, hardware, telecom/networking bullshit et cetera, I just cannot fucking prove it to anyone and I cannot find fucking work my autistic ass can handle. I genuinely want to fucking work and I hate myself for feeling like a goddamned parasite.

"I'm nuts nigga!" lol, fitting pfp I suppose.

You need to get out of the family home. No wonder you think you're fucked up when you have a Mother like yours. It's not healthy to be around toxic people so it's no wonder you're suffering.

Save up every spare dollar and cent and get the fuck away from her.

 

[Guntanator]

This is going to sound dramatic but I'm so tired of how fucking retarded I can be socially. I just wish I was invisible all the time. I don't know how to be normal and not talk so much it annoys people. If I don't just "act like myself" im quiet and miserable looking. I am so dumb and I hate myself so much right now. I am sorry to anyone I ever annoyed with my existence because I am nothing. Worthless. Annoying mosquito.

 

[-Jack-]

I'm doing as well as I can. My mum died two months ago, I don't know how long it will take to repair, I was and always will be a mummys boy. A faggot too, she was there when I had boyfriends, she told me they weren't good for me, we broke up, she was there for me to cry on her shoulder. She was ultimately my best friend,d and now I feel like I have lost my soul and life.

She was fucked over by the NHS and shitty paki doctors and I'm angry, but I know I can't change or do anything. She died peacefully without pain, surrounded by me, my sister and other family members. But I'm still a pussy gay boy who has nightmares and cries because I miss my rock, I miss the person to tell me everything is going to be okay.

 

[56 others]

Good.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

doin alright, got a lot of shit going on, but its managed. bought some psilocybin gummies on the internet and im gonna see how those are, my experience with psilocybin has been good so far as an antidepressant, even though i have not used it in years.

 

[Prophetic Spirit]

Yesterday my father tried to commit suicide.

My own father. The same which raised me as the man i am right now.

And i feel shit in this moment.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

I'm pretty sure my basement bathroom doesn't have enough ventilation for humidity.

 

[Nick Obre]

Yesterday my father tried to commit suicide.

My own father. The same which raised me as the man i am right now.

And i feel shit in this moment.

Brother, I know you're affected right now, but it's important you show him, now and always, how important he is to you, how much he's worth, and how much you still need him.

I don't know his story, but feeling unneeded by the world is one of the biggest things that drives men to suicide. Even other issues tend to be at least connected to that feeling.

He probably knows you love him, but he needs to know he's essential to you, and that there's much you still need to learn from him.

I also send you a hug, for whatever it's worth from a stranger. If you need to talk, I'm here and I'm sure other kiwis too.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

Yesterday my father tried to commit suicide.

My own father. The same which raised me as the man i am right now.

And i feel shit in this moment.

Just remember that it's not your fault

i personally saved my mother from several suicide attempts
shes a schizophrenic, but i dont want to make this about me.

Your dad is probably just going through a lot, so be there for them, be thankful they are still here and you have a chance to talk to them and maybe help them out a bit even if its just to be a shoulder to cry on.

 

[Overwritten Tapes]

Feel fucking great today. Ready to knock this 12 hour shift the fuck out.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

this thread needs some cheering up

I KNOW WHY IVE WAITED
I know why I've been blue
Praying each night for someone baby
Exactly like you
Why should we spend money
on a little show or two
When no one does the love scenes
Exactly like you
And you make me feel so grand *doodly opp*
Id like to hand the world to you *doodly opp*
You seem to understand
Each foolish dream im dreamin
Scheming and scheming
I know why mother
Taught me to be true
She made me fall for someone
Exactly like you

 

[Travis Touchdown (REAL)]

I’m on vacation right now and I haven’t thought about work for 2 weeks. Life is good

 

[DavidS877]

I'm pretty sure my basement bathroom doesn't have enough ventilation for humidity.

If you can't add ventilation then consider a dehumidifier. They will warm up the room but work great. I like the "Rotary Dessicant" type for small spaces, preferably with a hose if you don't use the room often enough to empty the tank manually. Usually hoses are gravity fed so they need to be above the sink or tub or wherever you drain it. You can get ones with a pump too, but those are usually much larger models. Also, get one of those cheap temperature/humidity meters to see what the numbers really are.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

If you can't add ventilation then consider a dehumidifier. They will warm up the room but work great. I like the "Rotary Dessicant" type for small spaces, preferably with a hose if you don't use the room often enough to empty the tank manually. Usually hoses are gravity fed so they need to be above the sink or tub or wherever you drain it. You can get ones with a pump too, but those are usually much larger models. Also, get one of those cheap temperature/humidity meters to see what the numbers really are.

I have a dehumidifier in the hall right outside the bathroom, but I should probably move it into the bathroom.