How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Overwritten Tapes]

I'm dead tired because tendinitis keeping me awake all night. Then management decides to keep me on overtime today knowing damn well I'm falling asleep while standing.

 

[2mm and 99 others]

I got an intruder in my appartment through an open window and got my phone stolen. Now I am trying to come up with a fence that will tear the fucker a new one (literally) and castrate him simultaneously, if he tries again. I hope he spends the fairly unimpressive money he can get for that on krokodil and rots away.

It likely happened, when I was in the other room cleaning up, and the cat suddenly started acting as if she saw a ghost, but I did not hear anything and thought it's just cats doing silly cat things. The worst thing is, that my temporary illusion of a high-trust bubble shattered.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Internet was out for 30 min. Thought maybe someone hit a pole or something cause the siren for VFD went off followed by a bunch of fire engine sirens. But then after the fourth attempt at rebooting both the modem and the AP everything came back up. I'm working the on call desk for work through Wednesday AM so I was half expecting a major call or something. This time I got woken up at 4 AM Saturday for shared accounts locking but that;'s about it.

 

[Milk Mage]

 

[Medic]

Its been about two weeks since I am home caregiver, and its been preserving. I cleaned up my clients room and his bathroom today, wasn't much of a mess but I still had to make him comfortable. I do not want to go into too much detail, but he sleeps in a separate room from his wife cause he has dementia and strangle her twice in the last year. I cried to myself last week because there was just silence. I don't know what really made me cry, my thoughts, how I got here, the fact that my client hasn't showed in five days since the last time I saw him. My job in what I am doing is right, its a fragile process in taking care of people like that in their last parts of their life. I know I will fall short in life, I know will let myself, but I just got to keep moving and its fucking hard.

I have family that still loves me and want to stay at home were its nice and comforting, but at the same time I want to travel to some states and even some country's to fill something in my life. I know what I doing right, but I don't know if would make up for me just being on this world. I just need to focus on living my life the best I can towards humanity. I want to go back to my childhood church or some sort of congregation, I am broken and I want to be healed. Many people don't have God in their hearts and I have seen them in a downward spiral both online and off.

This job gave me a different point of view of life, and its precious. I should value mine as such.

 

[Betonhaus]

About to buy a beater car to drive to work. a bit of a pain as I have to sort things out with insurance then get a ride to the next town over, and i may have to leave it at my parent's place if it turns out to need even more repairs then I thought and i have to save up for them. But if all works out it'll be a nice car and I won't have to carpool with someone who keeps dropping me off just when my shift starts and have to take the bus home.

 

[Loris Yeltsin]

I just spent almost an hour trying and failing to fix an incredibly easy problem manually until I remembered there's an automatic way to do it in seconds which I had used a million times before in the past.

Now I'm slightly worried that I'm slowly mutating into a Pajeet like the guy from District 9.

 

[Señora Airi]

I’ve had to many bad fucking days in a row, it’s like something out of my control that’s bad happens to me, I’m so fucking pissed every night before I go to bed. I try to keep a positive mindset in my personal life but it’s just becoming overwhelming. I just need a win and it’s like everything is just falling apart.

I do pray God will lighten your yoke a little.

Tax: I texted the brother who contacted me out of the blue twice (once on the 4th and once last week) and he hasn't responded back.

 

[Lovely Kin]

Week is turning out slow, but I needed slow and boring after chaotic weeks

 

[obsdj]

Can't stop procrastinating on important things. Can't ass myself to care enough about the negative consequences of same. Depression shifting into high gear as the miserable heat and humidity of my area does the same. And as the cherry on top of the suck sundae that is my life of late, my allergies are wrecking me and I'm building up a tolerance to the benadryl again. (Yes, I have tried Claritin, it does not relieve my symptoms.)

 

[Imp]

Can't stop procrastinating on important things. Can't ass myself to care enough about the negative consequences of same. Depression shifting into high gear as the miserable heat and humidity of my area does the same. And as the cherry on top of the suck sundae that is my life of late, my allergies are wrecking me and I'm building up a tolerance to the benadryl again. (Yes, I have tried Claritin, it does not relieve my symptoms.)

Try Allegra, Zyrtec or Xyzal. My doctor told me years ago that any given antihistamine would grow to be ineffective and that I should rotate my brand every 6 months, give or take. I rotate through all four on some schedule. Right now I'm on Allegra after finishing a bottle of Xyzal last month.

 

[fist_of_khonshu]

Im miserable and lonely, but i know I'm insufferable to be around without my meds because I make shit up in my head and convince myself its real and start fights. Im trying to get my medication back but everything feels like it's just falling apart again. I'm tired, and im lonely, and I miss my friends but I know im just a stepping stone to better things for them. I just wanna be okay.

 

[Betonhaus]

Well I was getting ready to go see the car in the next town over and as far as i can tell I got ghosted by the seller. There were a couple better ones I found closer but I'm getting no response. Looks like I'll be going for my 6th option which is a '01 Dakota that burns a little oil but otherwise runs fine, if it can hold up for at least a year I'll be able to save up for a much better car.

 

[Elderly beef taco]

I feel completely helpless anymore. I thought i had my life finally under control, and part of that was having my mother (who financially, physically and mentally abused me for pretty much my entire life. It's gotten a bit better but she'll never admit what she did not ever 3 years ago) move out so i can live with my partner.
She's seriously waiting for a social assistance program to give her a 300/mo rental because she "can't afford" anything else. She has a job and could easily get a basement rental.
I almost hit my breaking point last night. I'm in a situation where it feels like my only way out would be to sell my own house to get her to leave, and even then she'd still try to move in with me again.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I feel completely helpless anymore. I thought i had my life finally under control, and part of that was having my mother (who financially, physically and mentally abused me for pretty much my entire life. It's gotten a bit better but she'll never admit what she did not ever 3 years ago) move out so i can live with my partner.
She's seriously waiting for a social assistance program to give her a 300/mo rental because she "can't afford" anything else. She has a job and could easily get a basement rental.
I almost hit my breaking point last night. I'm in a situation where it feels like my only way out would be to sell my own house to get her to leave, and even then she'd still try to move in with me again.

How about just give her the 300/month until her program kicks in? I realize that's like putting a big KICK ME sign on your back and depending on the type of person she is she may lie about ever getting assistance, BUT if you can afford it and it's a matter of being able to stand life and getting some peace, then worth it. Another alternative would be to front her 2-3 months' worth rather than an ongoing promise.

Oh, she's waiting for a rent that is $300 total as a result of assistance? Is that subsidized rent or is it special buildings? What's the likelihood of that, especially if she has a job?

If it's a subsidy and not special housing, is she looking for a place? Are you looking for a place for her? What is her timeframe for getting assistance/ can you help push that process along by doing paperwork for her or whatever is required?

Get all that information yourself. Consider giving her/ getting her to agree to a firm timeframe and hustle her toward exit. It's your house. You have some control here; don't make yourself more helpless if you don't have to.

 

[Umaibae]

I’m moving back to America to a hyper liberal city full of weeby troons and manchildren who want Asian wives 20 years their junior. (So basically, just like Japan!!)

As a hot girl who eats well, works out, has a fucked up sense of humor, is becoming more and more libertarian, and is unafraid to be offensive, I fear I am doomed. I downloaded a dating app for the first time in my life, and shit is B L E A K.

 

[WASR96]

I’m moving back to America to a hyper liberal city full of weeby troops and manchildren who want Asian wives 20 years their junior. (So basically, just like Japan!!)

As a hot girl who eats well, works out, has a fucked up sense of humor, is becoming more and more libertarian, and is unafraid to be offensive, I fear I am doomed. I downloaded a dating app for the first time in my life, and shit is B L E A K.

Good luck. Dating apps are completely unusable where I live. I'm out in the country so it still picks up all the winners from the city. Fags marking their profiles as women, the women who already have multiple kids from multiple different people, and women with no jobs/goals in life looking for someone to fund them.

 

[Umaibae]

Good luck. Dating apps are completely unusable where I live. I'm out in the country so it still picks up all the winners from the city. Fags marking their profiles as women, the women who already have multiple kids from multiple different people, and women with no jobs/goals in life looking for someone to fund them.

I have no kids and a successful career. I thought that’d make me a hot commodity. Instead it’s just jeets, men who can’t hold conversations, dudes who golf (ew), or people I just don’t find attractive.

Also, if you’re a man in your mid 30s and “don’t know” if you don’t want kids or not, fuck outta here.

Looks like more angry gym sessions with hardcore punk made for sad men blasting in my headphones is in my future.

 

[Elderly beef taco]

How about just give her the 300/month until her program kicks in? I realize that's like putting a big KICK ME sign on your back and depending on the type of person she is she may lie about ever getting assistance, BUT if you can afford it and it's a matter of being able to stand life and getting some peace, then worth it. Another alternative would be to front her 2-3 months' worth rather than an ongoing promise.

Oh, she's waiting for a rent that is $300 total as a result of assistance? Is that subsidized rent or is it special buildings? What's the likelihood of that, especially if she has a job?

If it's a subsidy and not special housing, is she looking for a place? Are you looking for a place for her? What is her timeframe for getting assistance/ can you help push that process along by doing paperwork for her or whatever is required?

Get all that information yourself. Consider giving her/ getting her to agree to a firm timeframe and hustle her toward exit. It's your house. You have some control here; don't make yourself more helpless if you don't have to.

She is also looking at other places but her main plan is to live in the subsidized housing offered by a specific charity in our area. They're willing to take her (she's on the wait list) but it could take years, and considering her current job is only until october there's concern that even if she gets a place she'll be demanding money from me for rent within a few months.

I'm going to help her find a place, and have offered to pay her damage deposit for her to make it easier. It's what i have to do to get her to actually make an effort, for the past 2 months she's just sat by waiting for a handout. But i shouldn't have to do shit like this for a grown-ass adult.

It's just so damn hard having to live with her and know she doesn't take the eviction letter i gave her seriously. Kinda a huge, near final straw moment (which is leading me back to being suicidal unfortunately) was her calling me while i was literally recovering from a surgery last week to whine that the internet was slow. She seriously expected me to call the internet company while in hospital, because she couldn't watch YouTube that morning.

I hate venting about this shit but i can't even talk to her about it. She always turns it against me or lies and says it never happened.

 

[Michael_Jordan_Peterson]

Cut down caffeine/alcohol use by about 99.99% for the last 2-3 months. Actually able to fall asleep at night and wake up feeling rested. Life is pretty chill. Been going way too hard the past 4-5 years and just taking it easy lately.
Its easy to see how much those things affect your quality of life when you have a bit of distance from them. I have the same energy/productivity and I guess I have reset now to the point where brain chemistry is mostly normal again and I can work/study/whatever without the caffeine.