How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[obsdj]

Then I just stopped cause I thought, I look like a dork

You'd be surprised what people think about you if you realized how seldom they do. Most people IRL are caught up in our own shit and our own problems.

I did it, I called them.

Good for you. You DO deserve to feel better.

 

[Lukie]

Finding myself more emotionally dysregulated by Ozzy's death than expected.

I'm glad you came home for your passing.

Better than your kike wife complaining about there being too many tea shops in England. You got your wish Sharon, now there's just kebab shops and rape.

 

[Harambe]

See, didn't even cross my mind because what poor person ever invested money? Questionable if the amount i have is high enough to make it worth it but anything is better than letting it rot in a savings account i guess. I got a not-too-distant relative who is an investment banker (or was, we haven't seen each other in years), guess i shoot him a call in the coming days.

If you put every spare dollar you have into an index fund even in partial shares you will be so so glad you did. Schwab has very low fees. Get a brokerage account with them. Half of the bitching about the world and politics here is people with no clue about the world and money to match. Invest passively and into big funds, you will not feel wronged or miss the money. Do not wait or time the market, dump money into blue chips and index funds and vanguard funds and shit like that. Your future depends on creating passive income by getting enough money working for you. Pick a thing and invest like you have no curiosity or desire to win big. The stock market is a casino where on a long enough time scale you and the house win.

 

[Orchestral Hit]

I was recently shot down out of a job after an interview. This one stung a lot more because I had a reference inside the company and a bit of relevant experience for a job that didn't require any experience. This just makes me want to stop trying entirely. I've been looking after deciding that my last job really wasn't for me. Apparently that may have been the worst mistake of my entire life because I've now been unemployed for two years and no company wants me. I feel like a burden to my parents, and that I'm wasting away my prime years unable to do anything.

 

[666NASTYFUCKINGFREAK666]

eating 3 am steak and drinking rn. pretty swaggy.

 

[fist_of_khonshu]

Not great. I got fired yesterday and spent the rest of my day applying to new jobs. Got into a fight with my friend and then started drinking.
Ive been just kinda having the worst go at it since I lost my meds and the last job I had laid us off due to budgets. This job was shit but it makes me feel like more of a failure than I already did.

 

[THE URANUS SPOTTER]

I got fired then I was trying to applying to new jobs, had my servere alcohol addistion allowed me to.

 

[Lingering butter taste]

Sorry for posting here so much, I’m doing it for accountability. I talked to my therapist and she’s gonna get me on meds, I was very hesitant at first cause of that hurdle that I’ll seem retarded but when she laid it out for me I realized she was right. I could finish school, get a job, move out. The main thing hindering me from all of these was how unstable and schizo I was, meds could fix all of that. I’m weighing it between people judging me and me actually living my life, the latter sounds more important I guess.

I’m nervous but I think I’ve got this, I’ve been medicated before and it’s how I graduated high school, it’s how I had the drive to make genuine friends, it’s how I felt the need to go outside. I don’t know if they’ll prescribe me Prozac again, but I can hope that whatever they prescribe it’ll be ok.

 

[Señora Airi]

Talked with my grandma again today. Found out her aunt is at the end stage of Alzheimer's.

 

[Canoodler]

A mix of fear and sadness. My computer monitor's screen is flickering and I think need to buy a new one.

 

[GoysGoneWild]

What belt are you up to?

Just working my way through white. I am getting the sense that this is the hardest one to work through, in that it requires the biggest jump up in your mentality, fitness, nutrition, etc. 80% of people who start don't make it, so I'm taking this pretty seriously. I do primarily do no-gi though, I wish it was the primary style.

I’m hesitant to contact the psychologist, mainly because I’m still worried I’ll look gay getting mental help. I’d ask for someone to goad me on but that sounds even gayer

"Therapy" is a mess, but so is everything else. Don't listen to internet personalities who say its "feminine" or gay or fake or whatever, and that your solution is to just lift weights, or join rob rundo in giving each other brain damage out in the woods.

At the core of it, you can avoid a lot of the negatives of it by simple ignoring pop-therapy, getting a legit therapist, who is fundamentally someone that is paid to 1) look at your problems in a dispassionate, third perspective and 2) with the goal of improving your outlook on life and mental processes that are standing in the way of your success.

If you engage with the process in a goal-oriented, honest manner, where you are an active partner in your own success and give the therapist what they need to make suggestions on changes, your chances of success go through the roof.

 

[Lingering butter taste]

"Therapy" is a mess, but so is everything else. Don't listen to internet personalities who say its "feminine" or gay or fake or whatever, and that your solution is to just lift weights, or join rob rundo in giving each other brain damage out in the woods.

At the core of it, you can avoid a lot of the negatives of it by simple ignoring pop-therapy, getting a legit therapist, who is fundamentally someone that is paid to 1) look at your problems in a dispassionate, third perspective and 2) with the goal of improving your outlook on life and mental processes that are standing in the way of your success.

If you engage with the process in a goal-oriented, honest manner, where you are an active partner in your own success and give the therapist what they need to make suggestions on changes, your chances of success go through the roof.

You actually came at the perfect time. I just got done doom scrolling pop therapy and “If you eat junk food you will get schizophrenia AND aids” content, and I think you’re right. I think it just makes me feel more shit and want to die more. I think I should just listen to what my therapist has to say and ignore all the other voices. I don’t drink alcohol so I’ll have a soda to have my “stare solemnly in the window and think about the future” moment now.

 

[Mouthwash Enema]

Based on the pattern of where my job has been sending me out to work the past couple of weeks then to now see that I'm just suppose to report to the office/shop for work tomorrow leads me to only think they've either got their priorities screwed up and think "boy the shop really needs to be cleaned up and the fatfuck shop manager can't be asked to do it" or they might just tell me I'm laid off since work has been "slow". I'm already in a pretty shitty mental state because of my stupid ass getting a speeding ticket. I'm also having to now replace the tail lights on my car after they both decided to stop working. On top of that, I'm also dealing with the car's AC not blowing cool air and being terrified that it's something more serious than a coolant leak, and finally, having to give up a house and return to the shit ass apartment life in the coming weeks. So yeah I'm pretty strapped for cash as it is not mentioning some other bullshit I have to sort out.

I really think if the worst comes to pass tomorrow I might just end up in a looney bin or worse.

 

[Señora Airi]

I ended up somehow stabbing myself today in the pointer finger on a fillet knife. Not even at work, just by doing dishes at home.

Spoiler: Hand Check (Yes I know I'm Fat)

 

[Borplesnort]

I am steadily realizing that I was robbed of my childhood and teen years, now that I'm watching my own kids grow up. At least my kids will have a better chance than I did.

 

[ModerateRock]

Pain in my left ear, assume its an ear infection but I don't wanna say for certain. Just gonna wait it out for a couple of days. If it doesn't get any better, then I'll go to a doctor.

 

[JustStopDude]

The move to Utah has been weird. I've been with this new company for about two months. A month and a half of that has been working on industrial sites in Texas. I literally signed a lease for a one bedroom apartment and then got on an airplane.

I got a three bedroom house on the East Coast that I have done fuck all to pack. I'm gonna have to leave most of my shit.

New job is kind of weird. Like they gave me a work truck to use, but when I looked into the compensation, it looks like I'm in for a tax bill based on any mileage not charged to a project. Didn't even warn me about that. And I got to immediately get the tires fixed, the oil changed, and an emissions done, which is where I'm at, just so I can get the registration renewed.

Like my coworker was like "you want a ride back to the office?" And I said no since it was only going to be an hour. "Okay make sure you take PTO".

Lol. That ain't happening. I'll just stay late tonight.

I keep getting calls and text messages from former coworkers asking for assistance since I trained the vast majority of them over the last ten years. I keep telling them I can't.

Oh, I got a certified letter from the legal department of my old job. They want me to sign a non compete, to be back dated, to 14 years ago, stating I can't work with low and medium voltage without prior approval.

The way it's written, I wouldn't be allowed to operate a fucking TV in my apartment. Even if I was retarded enough to sign it, it would not be enforceable. Even more annoying, despite the legal department threatening me, the fucking field engineering unit is bugging my new company to employ me as a contracted field engineer. They have no one left. They fired everyone making over $90k regardless of what they did or their experience. So the only people left are engineers who are around 3 years out of college or H1 visa holders.

It's fucking unreal how in a five year period, this international company has imploded itself by bringing in external experts in HR and efficiency.

 

[obsdj]

Oh, I got a certified letter from the legal department of my old job. They want me to sign a non compete, to be back dated, to 14 years ago, stating I can't work with low and medium voltage without prior approval.

Your old company has been displaying remarkable retardery ever since they let you go. Is the new company actually going to work out for you, or do you need to start putting out feelers, maybe keep your old house that you loved so much? Telling you to take PTO so you can hang around not getting paid to fix THEIR truck seems questionable.

 

[Foxymophandlemama]

Sorry for posting here so much, I’m doing it for accountability. I talked to my therapist and she’s gonna get me on meds, I was very hesitant at first cause of that hurdle that I’ll seem retarded but when she laid it out for me I realized she was right. I could finish school, get a job, move out. The main thing hindering me from all of these was how unstable and schizo I was, meds could fix all of that. I’m weighing it between people judging me and me actually living my life, the latter sounds more important I guess.

I’m nervous but I think I’ve got this, I’ve been medicated before and it’s how I graduated high school, it’s how I had the drive to make genuine friends, it’s how I felt the need to go outside. I don’t know if they’ll prescribe me Prozac again, but I can hope that whatever they prescribe it’ll be ok.

Happy for you! The meds will help stabilize you so therapy can really start working its magic. Please don’t stop seeing your therapist. In the beginning you might feel amazing and think you don’t need therapy anymore, but that’s exactly when you need it: to heal what’s hurting you and guide you through the new challenges ahead.

Thread tax:
My manager told me I’ve been doing fantastic work. It felt great to hear, especially with impostor syndrome kicking my ass lately. I honestly didn’t think I was delivering good results, turns out it was just my inner saboteur screaming at me.

 

[Cemetery Support]

Love my job but i fucking hate it at the same time.
Don't have any time to organize anything and everyone is operating on some arcane system of organization that doesn't make any goddamn sense and im constantly interrupted and Im constantly running into minor tech issues that grind whole afternoons to a screeching halt and im too new to make any suggestions on how to fix the fucking place.