BrettStevens
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2025
How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check
- Thread starter Milk Mage
- Start date
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2023
My nervous system is pretty much obliterated.
I didn't expect rebuilding my confidence to be easy after the shit past few months I had, and I'm trying to take the victories where I can get them, but man, I just want to be comfortable.
I'm getting my shit back together, but god damn it, I feel like the tiniest setbacks are ringing alarms left to right. Stuff like getting my ass chewed out for a circumstance that wasn't my fault (which I can chalk up to a well-intentioned mistake), or having to audibly talk myself through shifting gears during a motorcycle lesson because even though I'm a smart woman, my muscle memory is retarded and I release the clutch too fast.
These things are not catastrophic when I get them wrong. My rational brain knows this. But my emotional regulation is in the dirt and everything seems like a crisis. The only rational cure is not giving the fuck up. Still marching, god knows why.
Hopefully, my friends will get their act together and I can take a nice trip to the mountains next month. I could do it by myself, but I'm just not in the mood for going on vacation alone.
I didn't expect rebuilding my confidence to be easy after the shit past few months I had, and I'm trying to take the victories where I can get them, but man, I just want to be comfortable.
I'm getting my shit back together, but god damn it, I feel like the tiniest setbacks are ringing alarms left to right. Stuff like getting my ass chewed out for a circumstance that wasn't my fault (which I can chalk up to a well-intentioned mistake), or having to audibly talk myself through shifting gears during a motorcycle lesson because even though I'm a smart woman, my muscle memory is retarded and I release the clutch too fast.
These things are not catastrophic when I get them wrong. My rational brain knows this. But my emotional regulation is in the dirt and everything seems like a crisis. The only rational cure is not giving the fuck up. Still marching, god knows why.
Hopefully, my friends will get their act together and I can take a nice trip to the mountains next month. I could do it by myself, but I'm just not in the mood for going on vacation alone.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2019
I blame my boss(es) for my emotional response levels being out of whack, picking at the least important things thinking they're keeping me on the straight and narrow when it's just forming a kind of PTSD that now interferes with my inner monologue. I never had any catastrophic mistakes but I received the same bitching as people who have, so I think it really messed with my head over time.
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2023
I had the same problem. It was a cascading avalanche of shit where I was basically a PowerPoint engineer, and the little I had to do was getting nitpicked to fuck. Also, my supervisor created a hostile work environment that led me to the not-unsupported belief I was a DEI hire. Felt like the kiss of death for my career, and sent me spiraling into a deep depression. I suspect that killed my last relationship (he was too much of a pussy to give me the real reason, but men don't go looking for "new experiences" when they're satisfied with who they have).
I haven't been able to find more than one lawyer to take on the case, so it probably means I don't have one, but damned if this job didn't literally wreck me as a person enough to merit compensation.
