How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Roommate and I have pooled resources because we are in a tight corner and we are out of options. We have bought basic staples and will be eating home-cooked for a the foreseeable future. I have found a new job and soon I will have health insurance again, which means, I will be back on medication soon and be less... present. Assuming we don't burn up in nuclear fire I optimistically estimate things will be better in 7 years.
 
This will hurt the nation on a long run, not only on birth rates, but on importing people who don't have a matching culture to our """nation""", since men will get weaker than they already are.
I don't know much about Brazil except the things a lot of people from there have told me. Had a coworker once that told me that while the nation exists there is not much of a concept and there is still a very strong sense of classism associated with skin color.
Any advice on how to be pleasant in a social setting that you don't want to be in and making a good impression on people so they don't leave you?
Bite your tongue, feign non interest and give non answers. So far it worked with me and my friend group.

They are huge leftoids and most of the time we meet they complain about the latest political spat out of the week or they gush about their current libtoid fixation like gay vampires or trannies in films. A lot of times they ask me if i watched X or played Y and thankfully i have the excuse that work doesn't leave me too much free time so i can tell them i'm out of the loop. In case of politics spats i answer when my opinions align with them. Else i just stay silent unless they ask me directly, which they rarely do out of politeness.

If they knew about my true political opinions they would banish me, which i would care little for.
I'm just complaining about commissioning artists. Out of the last 5 or so I have to send it back for revision every time
One question i've had for a long time is if commission artists are lousy in general or they just work like that. I know the process is slow but sometimes it feels like people do nothing but complain about them.
 
Doing really well. Got some new meds that are kicking ass and I feel clean and balanced. Trying to taper off alcohol cold turkey was definitely a fuckup and I'm finding I can enjoy social drinking a lot better with the new stack. Full focus for me is on avoiding isolation to curb my depression, making new friends, and being responsible with my vices. It's going to take a long, long time for my paranoia and stress issues to start to heal though, no matter how good meds are. Even in full sunshine mode the paranoia tickles my brain every now and then, I'm really not a fan of it but it still rises up no matter how hard the people around me assure me that things are OK. Hopefully that will heal in time.
 
This is why i think i could cut it as a Comms artist. I'm pretty diligent with my work but then i know sooner or later someone would throw a spat over me not drawing smut
If they do that then they're not a paying customer anyways, just ignore them.
my experience with comm artists is i have to check in with them like a micromanaging boss if i want things to get done. I commissioned 3 pics at jan 1 and I got 2 by last week but the last one is still not done yet. It's been 3 and nearly a half fucking months
 
If they do that then they're not a paying customer anyways, just ignore them.
my experience with comm artists is i have to check in with them like a micromanaging boss if i want things to get done. I commissioned 3 pics at jan 1 and I got 2 by last week but the last one is still not done yet. It's been 3 and nearly a half fucking months
Damn. I don't know what the fuck is up with people that work like that but tbh i would do a lot of checkups with my customer to make sure the drawing is doing well and also be expedient. After all, i did a pretty elaborate drawing in just 2 days. No colors but i did the shading. Quality is questionable but so are most drawings as well.
 
GERDs getting worse. Sometimes i feel like there's an elephant on my chest, burns like a motherfucker sometimes and i get trouble breathing sometimes. I'm getting fatigued often and it's even getting in my way during work

I'll have to go to the doctor. I'm not even old and fat, this is not fair
You need to get this checked out.
Any advice on how to be pleasant in a social setting that you don't want to be in and making a good impression on people so they don't leave you? Thanks
-dont drink, drive there.
-listen more than you speak
- deflect any libtard crap with changing the subject, denying you have any idea about it, or polite bafflement ‘oh, no I haven’t seen that’ ‘trying not to watch the news much tbh, world is a bit odd right now’ ‘oh how strange, no I hadn’t heard that.’ ‘Don’t watch much TV to be honest.’ Etc.
- most people just want to talk about themselves, and if you just smile and nod and make interested noises they seem to enjoy it.
- steer conversation to jobs, pets, families. They have a dog? Can you see a picture? Oh how adorable, etc. Oh you’re an accountant? I’d thought about that is the training process long, etc.
-leave before everyone’s drunk.
 
Sex is overrated and I think everyone (male and female) should try a month of celibacy and no masturbation. Not for religious reasons or anything, I don't have the energy right now to explain why I think it's beneficial but try it. And don't shame yourself too hard if you fail, masturbation is natural, but can easily become an addiction.
Edit: and no porn. seriously, no porn, ever
Eh, it's not the sex itself that plagues the incel mind, it's usually the lack of physical and emotional intimacy at all. Humans don't seem to be made to go without either for extreme periods of time. After enough years pass, it does erode your sanity and sense of belonging in the world. It's kind of like being rejected by the world and rejecting the world. And the longer it goes, the deeper you dig yourself in your hole.
As for the month of celibacy, I agree in a way. Although it may be because I'm a fan of imposing certain restrictions on yourself to either test your willpower or reset your dopamine receptors. I'm going through a water fasting period right now as it's something I like to do every year for ~5 days or so.
TMI warning: I also mess around with the whole "no nut november" stuff, kind of started as a meme many years ago but been doing it kind of "religiously" ever since. I think I only really went through with it all the way once. After 2-3 weeks my brain is just horny beyond belief. Idk how any male with a reasonable sex drive can really resist that long. Impressive are those that actually manage. Definitely agree on the no porn. Despite my posturing, I'm not a t&h nevergooner as I do appreciate the lewd female form. But one thing I can say for myself is that I never got into video porn. The thought of getting off by watching other people fucking always seemed depraved and cuckish to me and I just found it too repulsive. I always had a feeling that it would have a really bad impact on my mind, and seeing all the tranny stuff and other vile things everywhere, it makes me think that I was right.
 
TMI warning
I get you there. But i will say in my personal experience that quitting masturbation is more of a matter of being busy than being horny.

It was years ago when i got my first job and due to me being extremely busy i didn't even realized that i stopped doing it for 3 months. And honestly it felt great. To a lot of people 1 or 2 weeks seem almost impossible, but in my experience it is as long as you are not idle too much. Then you look for stuff to do and stimulate yourself and like many college students find out, your genitals are usually a good way to get stimulation.
 
Got a few more days off. Dropped off the car for summer tires, met a cute cat on the walk home, only to be told the trunk ain't working and the replacement part is like $200. I can pay that but like, damn. Just had it serviced thoroughly. I save a lot of my money and don't plan on kids or real estate, but still kinda sucks seeing big dips in savings, even if I never go into the red for the month.
TMI warning
I don't recall last I came (heh) upon two people having sex on cam. Onlyfans? A single clothed woman wiggling in 4:3 portrait mode. AI porn? A fox girl with a big dick stroking it. Hell, SFM porn is probably the closest to two people going at it for the sake of jerking off. I am around people who casually send porn back and forth, and if you take a step back it's lunacy. Neither party 'acts' upon it; it's just sort of a thing people normalized. Oh here's my fav vtuber; yeah they repost a lot of porn and goonbait. :)
After enough years pass, it does erode your sanity and sense of belonging in the world. It's kind of like being rejected by the world and rejecting the world. And the longer it goes, the deeper you dig yourself in your hole.
Sometimes I hear about old friends having had help moving, a couch to crash on etc. It's absurd to me that people can have access to such perks at no expense. External help solely from the kindness of their heart? Sounds borderline cult-like at this point. If both my parents kick it and I get into a bad situation, I'm fucked, whereas normal people got friends and family to rely on. I'd gladly help people out with my car etc, however bothersome, but I also know it'd be exploited and I'd get nothing in return most likely.
As a damn dirty fencesitter, I find I get a lot of mileage out of vague phrases that anyone would agree with and are technically the truth.
Even as our news drown with Trump and other such american politics more-so than our own, I can't imagine how it takes up such a large part of the yankee psyche, especially since the majority of you don't vote. It goes name, age, job and politics in that order. I see more people go "what if my date is alt-right?" more often than "- a bad person?". As if you literally just slot people in to one of two extremes and react accordingly.
 
Woke up very early by my standards, got ready and fed the dog, then walked to the forest. According to my garmin venu I walked 5km, but I know I didn't walk more than 3km max.
I got to see a lot of cute dogs that somehow remembered me despite it being like longer than 6 months since I last saw some of them.
I got good news, or at least optimistic news, about my tard wrangler situation - during my last appointment at the psych ward the nurse who oversees my treatment asked me about my being reduced from 2 hours a week to 1 hour a week, and whether or not I was upset with that change. Well, it seems that they have a social worker specifically on duty for when the system fails you, and I might be getting my hour back. We shall see, my next appointment is on the 20th.
As a treat, I got a banh mi and a salad for later.

I am tired, a little emotional, my hands are ice cold but I am optimistic for my near distant future. I still miss you, Cobes.
 
I am tired, a little emotional, my hands are ice cold but I am optimistic for my near distant future. I still miss you, Cobes.
Ice cold hands are a good sign of very strong chakra channels opening in the body. This is actually a pneumatic gateway into neural telepathy but multiple minds meshing through your brain can be very chaotic when it happens the first few times. The doctors call it schizophrenia but it's highly unlikely you have that disease if you're manifesting this, most schizo-targeted drugs will probably make you function worse. In those cases just be firm and assert that you refuse the specific drugs that don't work. Pneuma channels opening is something beyond what scientists have in their books currently, they focus on the material when the Spirit is prima materia.

You risk redlining psychosis if you can't chill out at that stage for sure though, I've been through it a few times. Make sure you're on your meds perfectly and don't fret about inpatient care if you need to be somewhere safe to process all the things you're going through. Voluntary commitment to a nice hospital is always better than involuntary commitment to a random one. I'm happy to hear about you getting that time back though! I still have to go fight the bureaucracy to make sure my new scrips are set after next month.
 
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I get you there. But i will say in my personal experience that quitting masturbation is more of a matter of being busy than being horny.
Bored men play with there dicks. What can you say?

I don't understand the people saying they don't like their "friends", they don't want to be around them and wouldn't care if they were cut off but still try to appease them.. Just don't? If you don't care if they like you and you don't like them then why are you investing in them?
 
My cat went missing two days ago.
I was trying not to freak out, because she's scrappy and has gotten out before.

I came home about midnight last night, and decided to walk the neighborhood to see if I could find her.

I did find her, she was hiding in a culvert.
After 45 minutes and some really really deep scratches (she did NOT want to go back to her "comfortable prison"), my husband and I managed to wrangle her back into the house.

During this process I ate pavement, and knocked my head against the curb.
No concussion symptoms as far as we can tell.

Owie.
 
Just don't? If you don't care if they like you and you don't like them then why are you investing in them?
They are friends of a friend and i think cutting them off will impact my friendship. It's not like i'm around much (4 months without meeting IRL) but i constantly think the impact that saying "i don't vibe with you, bye" will have with my best friend.

btw i got to study equality law today. I hate this shit and it's not because of the "muh equality" crap. It's because in the tests they ask parts of this law word for word so unless you memorize it you won't cut it on top of changing sentences by putting "must" "instead of "have to" and vice versa.

Preparing for today's lecture. Today it's going to be about radio system handling and international aviation alphabet. These topics are a lot better to handle than handicap law or equality law
 
The doctors call it schizophrenia but it's highly unlikely you have that disease if you're manifesting this, most schizo-targeted drugs will probably make you function worse.
Guy is schizo but he's right. If you're even semi functional do not take schizo meds. They're lobotomy pills meant to turn disruptive schizos into vegetable
btw i got to study equality law today. I hate this shit and it's not because of the "muh equality" crap. It's because in the tests they ask parts of this law word for word so unless you memorize it you won't cut it on top of changing sentences by putting "must" "instead of "have to" and vice versa.
That's just how law is. You can't paraphrase. It's exactly like what it's written
 
i think im going to shoot myself in the face....i did a test run on my tax return, and i owe nearly 8000 dollars...and i was like..how?? im not wealthy. im doing ok but not enough to OWE this much...so i looked, and im a retard..i filled out my 1099 wrong, and i havent been paying in anything, except for a pittance at best....i hate numbers. im incredibly bad at math or anything to do with numbers for some reason, and this is a very real life example of my ineptitude :stress:
im gonna take a wild guess that the IRS wont care about my lack of basic math skills and will still want their pound of flesh? ugh.
 
Went to my grandma after "work" today, my Ma told me she hasn't been doing good lately. Haven't seen her in a couple of months, she looked like she aged ten years since the last time i saw her. Also a noticeable decline in her cognitive abilities since that last time. I fear this might be the year where i/we might lose her and no matter how i try to arrange it in my head i can't find a way where i am able to cope with this. Sucks the big one. She's basically my second mom and i am, according to her very own words, her favourite grand kid. We had a nice lunch together, though it was the very first time in my life seeing her sitting at the table in her sleep wear, she also had to lay down pretty much directly after lunch. Hope she makes it at least to her birthday this year, hitting that nice and round 90.
 
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