How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Sorry, I think the describing of it as "voodoo" scared me. Grew up in a very Christian household and that's exactly what my mom said and why she wouldn't let me get mental help, "Therapy, pills, they're all from the devil. Jesus will heal you, why look to humans to do it?". Ig it brought me back. Idk, I should be less sensitive and have my head screwed on straighter. Not your fault.
I didn't mean "voodoo" as some sort of racist dog whistle, and I don't even have any particular hostility toward voodoo either, I just meant that psychiatry is barely medicine and is largely based on nonsense. But it worked for me, apparently worked to some extent for you (that is up to you), and if it works for you, it works for you.
 
I'm still missing the friend I lost. It's hard, but I know these things take time.
Otherwise I'm feeling ok and grateful.

Have a good weekend, everyone
 
I feel as the universe is reaching out, and going: "hey, how you doing over there Motherf*ucker?
So I've reached out to that one friend and we've been slowly catching up, which is great!
Another long-time friend I've been terrible about keeping up with, texted me and we talked for almost two hours, which I so needed because I needed to unload.
Yesterday a neighbour had put things to the curb, and I picked out a bag I liked--today I found two crisp $50 bills in the pocket of that bag.
My head is fucking boring, I feel like I should give the money back or at least put it towards bills.
 
We finally got the drunkard downstairs to stop blasting music, but now a new upstairs cunt is doing it instead. 2AM RnB, so it's not just drunken noise but an actual cunt thinking to himself "Music at 2am is fine, it's a holiday after all".
It really is still voodoo
I read of a cyclist with permanent spine damage and he somehow learned to think the pain away. On one hand, it seems reasonable that we invent medicine that replace organic processes in the body to FLESHSHAPE our existence. The other, we literally fall victim to placebo. Everything is made up.
The gymcel life is the life for me, I don't know why I'm doing it because I'm just a sperg with no future.
The gym meme is meant to be an easy and approachable way for losers to get used to progress, building confidence and then springboarding into other things. But they don't. Most gym-go'ers are socially active and strive to achieve things, you'd think it easier to meet such friends at the gym.
I did get utterly raped by it financially though,
It's free here, including the food, so half the slots go to people who bounce back because they can't afford their meds or because they're homeless and want the free housing and food.
 
I'm just going to assume (hope) that you no longer mean that "You're a stunted baby" thing anymore now that you understand I was calling out pedophiles.
Yeah, that was a misunderstanding on my part. That said I still disagree with your statement on a purely practical level.

My one experience with a psych ward was highly positive. Of course I had an absolute Cadillac health care plan at the time, so it was more like a resort than a ward.
I paid NOTHING for being in a psych ward because at the time I was a kid who overdosed etc. Admittedly the food was great, I had a safe place to sleep for a while, and the other kids in the ward were nice to me too. Everything was free.

That said I still despised it because I was unable to leave and that felt very very claustrophobic like being arrested and thrown in a jail cell I guess. The psychiatrists felt entitled to knowing your past trauma and prodding at your brain in a way that felt violating, and they were all assholes tbh.

When I returned to the system as an adult I said no to any therapy because to me it feels like mindrape. The government now gives me sedatives paid for by taxpayer money so I can live a normie life. Success? Maybe.
 
Yeah, that was a misunderstanding on my part. That said I still disagree with your statement on a purely practical level.
That's cool, from my view when these types of people are close to death they like sort of exasperate their efforts to groom, so it's sort of like a ticking time bomb where ya when it blows up they'll die but so will everyone else. But I get how the way I'm saying it probably sounds a bit absurd and confusing.

I'm not gonna pl too much about my experience in the ward but essentially I was at a point where ya I just couldn't be in society, I was an active danger, the ward felt more like timeout to me. I was like 18 and I really did not feel a difference in my life if that makes sense? Like my life outside is mostly me getting up, eating, reading in my room, taking a walk outside, talking to friends on the phone, arguing with my parents, and then sleep. The ward was literally just that minus the "arguing with my parents". Another difference was when I had my schizo meltdowns, instead of destroying the entire room and banging my head against the wall till I'm drooling, they injected me with sedatives and I kinda just stopped caring about whatever I was hallucinating about. So for me it was just my normal life except the only differences in it were either positive or neutral. The only thing I really missed was school, I kinda missed having homework? Weird, right?

When it came to the psychiatrists, they were like whatever. If I didn't wanna tell them something they'd just go "Ok." and the session would end there. My sessions were never long cause apparently "I mean, it's obvious you have this" and hey I guess she was right cause every other professional I've seen has been like "Ya, this is definetly like what you have, it's textbook". Other patients complained about the psychiatrists being mean but I personally never got mean vibes, just like. Kinda straight-faced.

I really loved the therapist they set me up with but I lost contact with her unfortunately. For me the real mindrape was when I came back home and told my family about how much better I felt and they were like "Nooo it didn't help! Cause if it helped then why did you have to be away from us? We CLEARLY make you happier". Ugh. Whatever
I didn't mean "voodoo" as some sort of racist dog whistle, and I don't even have any particular hostility toward voodoo either, I just meant that psychiatry is barely medicine and is largely based on nonsense. But it worked for me, apparently worked to some extent for you (that is up to you), and if it works for you, it works for you.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=6lFTD9O-XMw
Oh no no no, I didn't take offense to it cause of anything racial! It's just that growing up in a Christian household, the word was only used as an insult, a heavy one at that. Like not only was it garbage, but you were actively immoral for participating in it. I wasn't calling you racist dw lol! I just grew up with the idea that "nonsense"/"unpredictability" = bad and evil to partake in. It's something I have to unlearn
I read of a cyclist with permanent spine damage and he somehow learned to think the pain away.
Holy chad.
 
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