I don't think you need to explicitly apologize, next time you hang out just be in the moment and enjoy her presence, without doubting her. She'll feel the difference
I love reading of people rejecting their degrees in a weird self-destructive kind of way. Mine was already wishy-washy but I'm so tired of apologizing for or explaining it. It's one thing to say "I got a degree in engineering but don't use it", it's another to choose a bad degree and then not use it either. I just saw a ex-classmate who 'stooped' to being a low-end health worker and I like that for her. A nice objectively good physical job that literally nobody can badmouth even if it means she 'wasted' a degree. Yet I don't think the same applies to me. Everywhere I look, I see proof that we should pursue comfort and life over wage and privilege- yet it only applies to other people. Not me.
Bro, how? You invited her out. If anything you came out of nowhere, how would she have preplanned that? Not to mention chances are that since she accepted such a random date, she's probably not the 9/10 extroverted baddie you see her as. She probably took the first and only chance she had at proving she's moving up in life to her social circle by inviting you, rather than going to yet another function as the soft-shouldered no-posture having ahh chick who'll never get laid.
Then put faith in her figuring these things out herself and busy her with other positive experiences that it doesn't simmer for longer. I tried making a smart remark to a girl at work that didn't work out, and rather than running to correct myself, I bumped into her in a few other contexts and quickly I stopped caring about having to correct that first thing, because she now learned that while I'm rather awkward I put in the effort to small-talk and ask questions. If I brought that first thing up now, THAT would be awkward.
I watched a video of two dudes hitching from the east to the west coast, only sleeping at strangers' places. It led to everything from meeting struggling families to mingling with literal 1% high-society folks. Granted, they met most of these people during summer night town festivals and other such one-off events, it really proved how much good stems from saying yes once in a while. Once I get a motorbike I hope I'll find and partake in random such events. My dad is a shut-in but he made tons of friends simply from riding around and being seen.
Same, my degree is in STEM so I feel like all these years spent studying instead of working will be a waste of time if I don't end up using it. But at this point, I think I'd rather be abroad working some random job, than here working in my field. I'd probably get paid better tooYet I don't think the same applies to me. Everywhere I look, I see proof that we should pursue comfort and life over wage and privilege- yet it only applies to other people. Not me.
the problem is that wherever you go, you’re there. The urge to move abroad and burn everything down is like the urge to cut your hair off - it’s a sign that you’re unhappy.
I've read of recruiters say they got their pick of PhDs to fill their factories and yet wondering why they don't find another job down the line, being worn to death after work. I self-harm by reading this Q&A type subreddit now and then, and likewise you'll see young people be like "Um... I'm gonna make 3x that of my partner, is that weird? :/". Yea, as if life doesn't come in the way of projected salaries. You can't find a job; your partner leaves you, you have to relocate, mom dies, you're broke. Suddenly that lowly sous chef hubby of yours had the long end of the stick. There's always a need for chefs and they of all people build a reputation bouncing between gigs and they can find work in any small town.
Whenever I see a picturesque location, I think "someone is on the verge of suicide from living here". Imagine living near and working at Google Campus. You may be rich but you're around people who're really rich. Though, the worst example is going on holiday in my own country. Driving through run-down empty towns only to see the most amazing lake and forest, knowing the only way anyone could feasibly live here is if they own the property since the 70s or work remotely in IT. Jobs are moving away from anywhere worth living to another concrete hellscape, and even the rich people who own houses in those amazing places are only there 8 weeks a year, a 4 hour drive each way.
This is something I have seen a lot in the region, where I am from, like 80% of young people dreaming to leave. You need to think it over properly. Like why? If your troubles stem from such things as loneliness, prices, shitty neighborhood, city to small / city too large - leaving your country probably won't help you. To feel yourself at home in a new place takes MUCH effort and social skill, plus knowledge of local language. If you suck at it at home, you will suck at it on your new place even more.
I have never felt at home here either, I won't miss anything or anyone for that matter
This is the mindset that I have tbh. If an illiterate rapefugee can make it then so can I
Look, I’ll PL here. I’ve lived abroad. In a sane culture.
All of those things you've described already apply to me right now
I dunno I'm not saying I'll move somewhere else forever, but I feel like experiencing living abroad for a couple years can't hurt me. If it ends up sucking then it will be one of those life lesson moments. Plenty of retards in my family that moved abroad and they're doing fine, why would I be any different?
I imagine it varies depending on where you are and who you’re with.Good Lord. Hard disagree. My experiences living abroad have been the opposite - glorious, exciting, and full of growth and adventure. Maybe I just didn't notice I was being hissed at by little old ladies!
Learn to cook. Being able prepare home comfort meals helps fight homesickness. Also McDonald's is a must. It's mediocre consistency globally is actually that places best feature. It's my go to breakfast place when abroad.
Hiss at them back.
As a genuine autist I had the opposite experiance. I struggled with social cues at home but being abroad allows me to cheat a little because I can just ask people questions about socializing and pass it off as cultural differences rather than retardation.
Ah I see you met the FILTH of my namesake. Go to an English exchange and just talk with locals you will have a better chance to make normalish friends than expat groups.
That is the hardest part of being abroad. I'm cool with being an antisocial hermit so the loneliness doesn't bother me and I keep up with my American friends with online games and bookclub. But plenty of expats cope with it unhealthily with booze, drugs, and whoremongering.
My whole family were telling me how surprised they were at how much I have grown in terms of my confidence and social skills, so being abroad has been a positive for me. As for exciting adventures medical visits are always something. The language barriers and rush to maximize throughput leads to a lot of fun and terrifying experiance wondering what the fuck is going on and why the dentist is grinding down two of your teeth to nubs when he said it was a cavity filling.Good Lord. Hard disagree. My experiences living abroad have been the opposite - glorious, exciting, and full of growth and adventure. Maybe I just didn't notice I was being hissed at by little old ladies!