How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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I've received word of a potentially interesting line of work that I need to save up for, and am desperately wanting to fast forward time so I already have the money I need. I've grown tired of being a freelance developer.

I'm stuck between wishing I was an unconscious normie or a detached megacapitalist. I just don't like contact and attachment.

I'm also constantly thinking about my relationship with other humans and what's wrong with me on a deeper level. Maybe I should see a shrink.
 
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I think I need to permanently stop seeing my family over the holidays. I have avoided coming home now and again in the past, but I’m at the point where I know I feel bad every time I’m around them and it’s doing more harm than good to maintain the connection.

The thing is that it also feels horrible to be alone on these days. And while I have a few pity invites from work for “anyone who needs a place” and my girlfriend’s family has offered, I know that it’s an uncomfortable favor to take up. Anyone I visit on that day is going to be acutely aware of my situation and it gets in the way of their ability to relax and enjoy themselves.

I need something to do on those days so that I’m busy and nobody else’s feels bad. I just don’t know what. Nothing is ever open at these times.
 
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Man, I'm just livin'. Got a pretty great job prospect, full benefits and great pay for somebody with nothing but a high school diploma and some trade school experience. I head in for orientation on Tuesday. Other than that my depression has been fucking with me lately. Everything's just a blur and I feel like this entire year went by with nothing happening.

If all goes well I could make a career out of this or something. Maybe actually go to college with the tuition reimbursement program they offer.
 
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Anybody have any recommendations on how to get rid of a charley horse in your calf muscles? I woke up with a bad one yesterday, and repeatedly lifting my toes to stretch doesn't seem to be working it out.
 
Hi. I've been doing better these past few days. I have mild spergs from time to time, conniptive reveries, and I regret them.

My life is a bit frustrating and chaotic at times, but I'm learning to slough off unhelpful headspaces and find things worth doing. Being a restive, slightly embittered shmoe is unpleasant and exhausting. I'm thinking of family and companions at this time of year.
 
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Probably going to have to put down my 15-year-old American Bulldog Hercules soon.

He has lived a good long bully life.

But I am going to miss him.

Edit:

He died this morning, he was ready to go.

He passed on his warm bed with a full belly listening to my family watch a football game and smelling dinner cooking.

He died well.
 
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It's been my birthday today and I've gotten adult gifts (read: things for my new house) this year. It's rather sobering to be quite honest how things have changed regarding celebrations and holidays. If there are any youngsters here below the age of 16, enjoy your birthdays as they are while you can. They won't last forever!
 
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neverendingmidi said:
Anybody have any recommendations on how to get rid of a charley horse in your calf muscles? I woke up with a bad one yesterday, and repeatedly lifting my toes to stretch doesn't seem to be working it out.
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I've had this for years. Sometimes on mornings and often during swimming. The key is to really stretch out your leg, push the toes as forward as possible. Alternatively you can also man up and stand up through the pain and lean towards wall face first, leg with the cramp extended behind you, foot and toes firmly on the ground. It will hurt more for a while, but fix it much faster. Try it out now, if you feel your calf muscles stretching, you are doing it correctly. This is of course not an option while swimming in deep water - there you have to use 1st slower option, and not panic - this has worked 100% of the time for yours truly as evidenced by this posting being made.
 
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This past week went a lot better than the last two; the bulk of my class group projects are finished and all we need to do is put together our final presentations! I also learned how to create a Gantt chart (mainly for a mock campaign), which is a really nifty project management tool for businesses. It was confusing at first, but there was an easier way to construct one on Excel.
 
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Something my friend sent me, on the way to doom here.

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