How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

My life is weird blur I've always felt I have minimal control over and my only consistent answers to everything are stupid jokes online and a limited hedonism.

A lot worsens as I keep aging but some things have gotten better if just a bit.

Sometimes hitting rock bottom is the best thing that can happen to you. Some self reflection mixed with a few positive actions can make all the difference. Hang in there kiwi
 
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Reactions: Animosa
I need my hearing to do my job. I don't just need to hear, but hear very well. I have spent years doing ear-training exercises and autistically protecting my hearing. Do you know how much it ruins the experience to go to gigs or club nights with earplugs? A whole lot. I've been doing it for two decades so I can do my job.

Yesterday I learned that I am slowly going deaf, and my tinnitus is incurable and both problems will unavoidably get worse. And it's all genetic, so all that hearing-protection autism was a waste of fucking time.

On the plus side, Covid has killed the music industry stone dead anyway so I guess it doesn't matter.
 
I think i'm doing alright.
Honestly I should work on this paper that's due after spring break so I don't freak the fuck out. On top of that I need to work on getting more comfortable behind a wheel. Honestly I've been feeling like a failure because I get scared shitless sitting in a drivers seat but I had some wafflehouse today so that makes it's good.
 
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Reactions: Cowboy Cat
After four days of hardly being able to look after myself because I was so depressed following a breakup, did a high dose of shrooms last night and found peace and understanding. Woke up this morning feeling at ease with the world and not like my life is over — if anything I woke up feeling confident (albeit with a massive headache but can’t win em all). For the first time this week I feel like I’m gonna be okay.
 
I have conflicted feelings.

The country I live in shut down 'all non essential' stores again - but our big boss wants us to come in, open up and work like normal anyways. I just have a horrible gut feeling about all of this, not even because of the 'roona but because I'm basically participating in illegal activity...?! If I didn't need the additional money I'd probably just quit on the spot.
 
Good news - I can spend entire day drawing and that makes me feel fantastic. Bad news - doing it with my current skill and a mouse instead of a tablet is pure cock and balls torture without cock and balls. I hope they will send me a replacement next week. Take care, people.
 
Good news - I can spend entire day drawing and that makes me feel fantastic. Bad news - doing it with my current skill and a mouse instead of a tablet is pure cock and balls torture without cock and balls. I hope they will send me a replacement next week. Take care, people.
You could always use pen and paper to practice :) Or learn to enjoy CnB torture.
 
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Reactions: knobslobbin
If I'm gonna be honest, I cant really tell how I'm doing anymore. There's days I feel okay and then theres days where everything feels exhausting.
 
Every day is still Groundhog Day, but Spring has sprung, and I've got some projects to start. But I just have no motivation, now. I can find motivation to work on side stuff with friends. One of my friends and I are rebuilding a Bronco for mudding, and I can put in 10 hours+ a week working on that, but I just can't find the will to work on projects for myself. I got some of the big stuff done before the whole COVID shitshow, like my roof, and new driveway and patio, but the smaller stuff, that I can do myself, or with a friend, nothing.
 
I was lazy today even though I have a lot of unpacking to do. I regret nothing, it was everything I thought it could be.
officeSpaaaaace.jpeg
 
Feeling at work like my female friend is Pepe le Pew and I’m the cat with a stripe of white paint on my back.
 
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Reactions: McMitch
Had to put my 16 year old dog down this morning. I have had her since high school, I found her in the parking lot and she was mine from then on.

She was in renal failure and went down hill so fast...I thought I had more time. I know it was mercy but its still been hard. Most of the animals I have had just old and slip away in their sleep.

Its been hard, I found a little black kitten in the bushes a few years back and he became her “baby”.

He keeps looking for her, meowing for her to come to him.

My sweet Peg, say hi to Herc for me when you cross the Rainbow Bridge.
 
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