Recently lost my friend to suicide a few weeks ago. Boyfriend broke up with me. My rapist is now walking free and is now mentally stabilized. I’m currently taking days off of work to just relax with you guys.
I guess for most of my life, after seeing so many people die, I still somehow feel as if it’s my responsibility to save othersl even when i’m not involved or it’s not anywhere near my fault. I always felt like since my life was a pretty bad experience. I should help others so that there’s never another me.
But I need a break from the world for awhile. I plan on going to get some therapy about what is going on with me, then visiting my friend’s grave. He was a good man. Always made crazy ass jokes and pranks. He tried making everyone smile. He was the best of us.
I’m not going to do anything stupid, I don’t think. As much as there is a quick way out of this, it’ll hurt everyone else more. And plus, I made a promise I’d live for him, help him see his future.
Sorry if this is a lot. It’s just. Gotten to me. Thanks for hearing this out.
TL;DR Almost all of my friends have passed away, I have lost my love, and now I’m trying to find the ways to do myself and them a great deal of peace and hope.