How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Nick Obre said:
Ok. I'm gonna say it: you're being dumb about this.

Internet girlfriend, lives in a state far away from you, is an adult, is controlled by their parents, is dating you in secret, is very sick to the point of being unable to move for work or study, but is now on a vacation.
You kinda want to make a plan to rescue her from her parents and bring her to live with your parents. And you're emotional over her being gone for a day.

Have you even met her in person?
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She back. She convinced them to let her talk to me

Also, I'm fully aware I'm being dumb. I'm more so complaining because even though I know it's all irrational, my mind still shits itself over the littlest things.
 
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Shitted Scaredless said:
She back. She convinced them to let her talk to me

Also, I'm fully aware I'm being dumb. I'm more so complaining because even though I know it's all irrational, my mind still shits itself over the littlest things.
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Tough love time. Did I hear someone say you had an "internet girlfriend"? I'm gonna need you to be like 95% less fuckin' autistic about this whole thing if you're going to have a chance of having a normal life.
  • Women you meet on the internet aren't real. If you can't see her in the flesh, with your own two eyes, you shouldn't care.
  • If this an actual woman who you know and can see, but she won't let you touch her, you are being used as an emotional tampon and you need to move on--if she liked you, you would know by now.
  • If you can't see her, but she says that you will be able to see her one day in some vague, unspecified future, you are being used as an outlet for her BPD and you need to talk to girls you actually know in real life instead.
  • Making assumptions now, but nothing that happens during High School matters. Even if you do something absurdly embarrassing, everyone will chalk it up to being a dumb kid 5 years from now. Teenagers are enormously impressionable and you will be treated according to how you present yourself to the world. While this rule is generally applicable for your whole life, you will be expected to display social proofs in the future in order to back up your confidence, like a high paying job, a Rolex and a BMW--teenagers need none of these things to be perceived as cool and successful; they just need the confidence (and maybe they need to not be a fatty fat, but even then, you can get away with it if you're cool enough). Teenagers can literally shape their own social reality around them with the right attitude. Internalizing this while you're still a teenager is basically a goddamn superpower.
 
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DamnWolves! said:
Tough love time. Did I hear someone say you had an "internet girlfriend"? I'm gonna need you to be like 95% less fuckin' autistic about this whole thing if you're going to have a chance of having a normal life.
  • Women you meet on the internet aren't real. If you can't see her in the flesh, with your own two eyes, you shouldn't care.
  • If this an actual woman who you know and can see, but she won't let you touch her, you are being used as an emotional tampon and you need to move on--if she liked you, you would know by now.
  • If you can't see her, but she says that you will be able to see her one day in some vague, unspecified future, you are being used as an outlet for her BPD and you need to talk to girls you actually know in real life instead.
  • Making assumptions now, but nothing that happens during High School matters. Even if you do something absurdly embarrassing, everyone will chalk it up to being a dumb kid 5 years from now. Teenagers are enormously impressionable and you will be treated according to how you present yourself to the world. While this rule is generally applicable for your whole life, you will be expected to display social proofs in the future in order to back up your confidence, like a high paying job, a Rolex and a BMW--teenagers need none of these things to be perceived as cool and successful; they just need the confidence (and maybe they need to not be a fatty fat, but even then, you can get away with it if you're cool enough). Teenagers can literally shape their own social reality around them with the right attitude. Internalizing this while you're still a teenager is basically a goddamn superpower.
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I

I'm out of high-school. I've seen pictures of her.
I'm the one who suggested we meet
She doesn't have bpd, but autism
I am indeed autistic myself so I can't tone it down.



This is more about my fuck brain right now.
 
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Shitted Scaredless said:
I

I'm out of high-school. I've seen pictures of her.
I'm the one who suggested we meet
She doesn't have bpd, but autism
I am indeed autistic myself so I can't tone it down.



This is more about my fuck brain right now.
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I've seen pictures of her

I repeat my question:
Have you met her in person?

If not, you don't have a girlfriend.
At the absolute best, you have the prospect of a girlfriend.
You don't know what she's like, except through the tiny filtered window of a chat (because pictures of her implies you're not even talking through video, and being that she's keeping you a secret from her parents, I'm gonna bet you're not even voice chatting), and you're thinking of "maybe I should bring her here to live with me and me mum".

At worst, you're getting catfished.

Think a little, lad, please.
We shouldn't even have to say something like this to someone in the fucking Kiwifarms. That kind of shit is CWC lore.
 
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Nick Obre said:
I've seen pictures of her

I repeat my question:
Have you met her in person?

If not, you don't have a girlfriend.
At the absolute best, you have the prospect of a girlfriend.
You don't know what she's like, except through the tiny filtered window of a chat (because pictures of her implies you're not even talking through video, and being that she's keeping you a secret from her parents, I'm gonna bet you're not even voice chatting), and you're thinking of "maybe I should bring her here to live with me and me mum".

At worst, you're getting catfished.

Think a little, lad, please.
We shouldn't even have to say something like this to someone in the fucking Kiwifarms. That kind of shit is CWC lore.
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No I haven't. But I don't care. Even if I had, it'd end the same way. Deep down I know this is temporary, and even if we were in person it still would be, because that's what happens to me. She's my first and I don't care if I get hurt because I'm used to it


On a side note I'm not a lad.
 
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Shitted Scaredless said:
I'm out of high-school
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Is she?
Shitted Scaredless said:
She doesn't have bpd, but autism
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Autism is incredibly rare in women. Women who claim they have autism for twitter points, on the other hand...
Shitted Scaredless said:
I've seen pictures of her.
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You've seen pictures she told you were her.
Shitted Scaredless said:
I am indeed autistic myself so I can't tone it down.
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I'm not gonna pretend to know what that's like, but I'm pretty sure giving in to your worst impulses is not what the doctor ordered.
 
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DamnWolves! said:
Is she?

Autism is incredibly rare in women. Women who claim they have autism for twitter points, on the other hand...

You've seen pictures she told you were her.

I'm not gonna pretend to know what that's like, but I'm pretty sure giving in to your worst impulses is not what the doctor ordered.
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She dropped out of college due to medical leave. She turns 21 next month.

Well she's one of the few, and these aren't my impulses. I have more faith in people than you do, I guess. I'm not giving up on this even though I know how it'll end. I don't care at this point.
 
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I'm going back to a place with some fuckin' bad energy. The minesweepers I worked on were great for being a big fish in a small pond, but they're just bad places, and I don't want to go back. No documentation, no authority to do anything, and yet somehow the responsibility to be more combat capable than the goddamned frigates better for government PR and policy than the actual gendarmerie.

It's not even like they do anything useful. Not that the military does in general, but it manages to be worse than that, and yet there's always so much stress and pressure. But for what? I really don't want to go back. The nest does nothing but promote if not create mental illness. It's like it's a depraved experiment to see if you can establish and sustain pressure on people without any real destructible enemy or completeable task.
 
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Nick Obre said:
I've seen pictures of her

I repeat my question:
Have you met her in person?

If not, you don't have a girlfriend.
At the absolute best, you have the prospect of a girlfriend.
You don't know what she's like, except through the tiny filtered window of a chat (because pictures of her implies you're not even talking through video, and being that she's keeping you a secret from her parents, I'm gonna bet you're not even voice chatting), and you're thinking of "maybe I should bring her here to live with me and me mum".

At worst, you're getting catfished.

Think a little, lad, please.
We shouldn't even have to say something like this to someone in the fucking Kiwifarms. That kind of shit is CWC lore.
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People have never met their political idol (Biden, Trump) and yet devote their entire lives to them, defend them, donate to them, are entirely emotionally tired up with hem, lose friends over them and go to the grave for them.

And they get fucking nothing. So does he really have to meet someone for it to be real?
 
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Menotaur said:
People have never met their political idol (Biden, Trump) and yet devote their entire lives to them, defend them, donate to them, are entirely emotionally tired up with hem, lose friends over them and go to the grave for them.

And they get fucking nothing. So does he really have to meet someone for it to be real?
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You're not under the impression you're in a relationship with Trump or Biden, are you? You're not planning to bring them home to live with you, yeah?

In other words, what the fuck are you talking about?
 
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Been on a crew for this mid-budget Bollywood movie being shot in my state for the past week and I feel like death. I work 14 hours and wake up at like 5AM most mornings, and I don't even know how much they're paying me (only that I know I am getting paid, because the interns meanwhile aren't). I care more about having a production credit on a feature-length film to my name than the pay because the pay is probably gonna be shit.

I'm actually leaving the project a week early because I got penned in for another gig where I have more creative control, is being shot exclusively three towns away, is also a feature, and it doesn't require me to get up before dawn. I just gotta stay strong for the next four weeks.
 
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Lamenting someone else's foolishness. Yeah yeah I know, I know, it's not actually a productive activity. But I reserve it for profound foolishness, especially if I think things could have gone really, really well otherwise. Nothing to do but exercise and seethe.
 
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Horrible. Contemplated cutting myself and still depressed and on my period. Thinking of straight up lying to my therapist in upcoming virtual meeting tomorrow.
Also though last night that for a legal guardian my mom is a scumbag for threatening to send me to a one-way ticket to an institution I was sent to (and live in proximity to) for any minor inconvenience to her.
EDIT: Did my virtual therapy and it was meh.
 
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