How is the kiwi above you in bed?

The softest hands I've ever had touch me, bar none.

Shame they were jammed inside me with such force.
 
Expands and retracts considerably, but at random. A solid 8 out of 10.
 
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Was very aggressive at first but then chugged a bottle of vodka and became a lot more chill.
Great cuddler.
 
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I knew shit was going to get weird when the bottle rockets came out and it took doctors about 3 hours to remove the baseball bat from my ass. Was a great time but now I think I'm on about 10 different watch lists.
 
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Totally made me forget about my phantom third testicle and nipples until he started playing with them. ... Wasn't half bad.
 
I can't remember anything from that night besides taking a dose of LSD and waking up with a nihilistic, perpetually depressed doll rammed up my colon... That was a fun trip to the ER.
 
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If I said something, Chris Hanson would be here, asking me why I know the performance of a kid from Earthbound.
 
She was pretty fucking hot.
Best teaser and knows how to get it on.
10/10 would fuck again tomorrow night.
 
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He wouldn’t take off the airtight helmet, which probably explained the disappointing climax. It left my face bruised, too.
 
It was exactly as their name suggests - brightly coloured, cloyingly sweet, very sticky, and finished very quickly.

8/10 - would do again, especially that bit with the pineapple cup and the little party umbrella.
 
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Reactions: Pina Colada
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