How is the kiwi above you in bed?

[Ntwadumela]

WRONG

I ended up murdering Barb and throw her corpse off a bridge. I stayed Muslim and we didn't have sex either

 

[Meat_Puppet]

He hijacked a plane, tied me up and strapped me into a bomb vest and used me the entire plane ride home. Would do again. 10/10

 

[Ntwadumela]

He hijacked a plane, tied me up and strapped me into a bomb vest and used me the entire plane ride home. Would do again. 10/10

While we were on the plane, we used various techniques from the Kama Sutra. It enlightened me greatly

 

[Warden Cross]

The lion sat in the corner and watched, which added a certain dangerous thrill to the whole situation.

 

[c-no]

Good enough to stand out my door, leering at my peephole.

 

[MistressCaridad]

We didn't get any further than the full length mirror in my bedroom. He just stood in front of it and flexed for two hours. I gave up and went to sleep. When I woke up, he'd left and taken the mirror with him.

 

[Zim]

I mean her profile pic is her "O" face so how do you think it went?

 

[c-no]

Lewd enough for me not to bully.

 

[Burgers in the ass]

Dick so long that it penetrated my mouth and asshole

 

[Meat_Puppet]

I thought hey this guy wanted to take me out for dinner, what a sweetheart. We go to this fine dining establishment and he orders ten goddamned burgers. I couldn't help but think to myself "Boy he sure must have an appetite.". 30 minutes later our order arrives. And no sooner does it arrive that my date decided to stand up on his chair, drop his drawers and ram all ten burgers up his ass. Each one he rammed up there he let out an orgasmic moan while everyone looked on in absolute horror. I wanted to so desperately leave, but my curiosity got the best of me. Sure as fuck he got them all up there. And then we were promtly kicked out. There was no cuddling, there was no sex. Just a man standing there alone with ten hot meat patties cooking in his ass. 0/10

 

[ShittyRecolor]

She cleaned her dishes, took a bath and washed her teeth without backtalk. She was in bed by ten, I read her a couple pages of The Little Prince and she was fast asleep like an angel. I switched her favorite Super Meat Boy nightlight on and quietly stepped out of her bedroom, closed the door and went on to do my papers before watching some soccer and going to sleep myself. 15\10 great bedtime manners!

 

[MistressCaridad]

He went to sleep really early and started squawking loudly at an ungodly early hour in the morning . 0/10 to the soup pot with him, bones and all.

 

[Pina Colada]

Her POC card wasn't the only thing I took...

 

[DrJonesHat]

Got to look under that mask. 1000/10 if you look at her, you're dead. SHE'S MINE.

 

[I'm Just A Human Bean]

Sadly would not use the whips.

How quickly will you sick fucks post after this avatar is presented?

 

[Ntwadumela]

We forgoed the beans because we didn't need involuntary farting and just went straight to sex.
Simple and to the point

 

[c-no]

Sleeping with a lion is nothing but heresy before the Lord thus is terrible.

 

[Robot Gentleman]

I couldn't tell if he enjoyed the sex or if he was just really, really constipated.

 

[Another Fellow]

More than a little mechanical, but at least he was a gentleman about it.

 

[ShittyRecolor]

He was pretending to groom me while our owners were watching, but as soon as they looked the other way he was nibbling at my comb and wattles. Chasing each other around the house was pretty fun, though. All things considered it could've been worse.