Culture How to hide a promiscuous past from your new man - Sometimes the sex is so slammin' you can't risk scaring him off. Here's what you gotta do.

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How to hide a promiscuous past from your new man- https://archive.ph/uZnLn

Sometimes the sex is so slammin' you can't risk scaring him off. Here's what you gotta do.

February 27, 2022 by LULZ

First of all, let’s make one thing perfectly clear: There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a slut. The fact is that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince, and in this year of 2022, people are free to experience sex no matter their color or creed.

Also, your current partner is the only person it could possibly concern, and that means that a wild ride is by definition the past.

In an ideal world, men wouldn’t care about our Number whatsoever. But seeing as this is still a White Supremacist patriarchy, we’re going to go ahead and assert that men absolutely will find issue with a woman having scored numbers on the higher end of the slut spectrum.

Related: 11 warning signs that a guy is an insecure beta

And sometimes the sex is so good you can’t risk scaring him off. This tutorial is for those times. Here’s what you gotta do.
#1. Try to find out the number of people he has slept with!

If it’s more than what you’ve bagged so far, chill. You don’t have to say anything.
#2. Lie. It’s that simple.

IMPORTANT: And then, follow up with an almost virginal act — but don’t overdo it.
#3. Tell all, if you must — but with a twist!

Like promoting a couple of bonks to an old boyfriend status… that way you can get down to telling tales of about two or three men in total.
#4. Tell the truth? MAYBE…

Some men are actually not bothered by a woman’s ‘lively’ past. But before you tell all, be sure that you are dating one such. How do you find out? Well, is he HAWT?
#5. Pretend past lovers were terrible.

And even if you have decided to reveal everything, remember that when you did, you didn’t enjoy it very much either. It’s not that it didn’t mean anything…, it’s just that with him it means so much more. So tamper your truth-or-dare with a bit of “baby, you’re the best”… always goes down well.
#6. And say they abused you.

Don’t let your man think too critically when you’re being creative with the truth. Toy with his emotions by hinting, or even saying outright, that a lot of these old “boyfriends” abused you.
#7. Do your cyber op sec and do it right.

You already knew to prune any evidence from your social media, but I bet you didn’t know you should also create a plausible cover story for missing information or blocks of time.

Blaming it on an ex hacking and vandalizing your accounts after a bad breakup is the good old trusty, but you can really cook with your creative juices here. The more elaborate and preplanned the story, the harder it will be to crack for your new dude’s prodding questions. Have an answer to every question. Most importantly — have fun!
#8. And finally: always bring trusted friends in on the conspiracy.

One more thing, make sure your friends are briefed. You don’t want to be in a social situation where one of them suddenly blurts out, “Do you remember when we were in Ibiza and you did it with three men on one night?” in front of your man.
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Hadn't realized how short this article was with the graphics removed.

 

[Kuchipatchi]

"Women should be allowed to be as promiscuous as they want!"
"OMG!! Why do incels exist?"

 

[Ruin]

Can you guys seriously not recognize satire? The banner image is a white that surrounded by BBC.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

Can you guys seriously not recognize satire? The banner image is a white that surrounded by BBC.

the real world killed Satire.

 

[BelUwUga]

I'm suspecting this is bait. People (mainly men who aren't having lots of/any sex voluntarily or not, who have more reason to care about this and be worried about the strategies mentioned here) will call this out for how very evil it is, and then the women who made this article feel justified in laughing about how easily such men will be attracted to things that confirm their biases-- and they get more rage clicks.

...then again, it could actually be a stupidly honest r/FemaleDatingStrategies regular-- I dunno, maybe I still have faith that people that think like this aren't common.

I don't know man. I had a friend in college, sweet girl, very attractive, and unless you knew the rumors that trailed her, you'd have no idea she had a >220 body count in under 18 months. I'd been to her dorm room, her bed was still made, with the "welcome students" flier on it, and a thick layer of dust. This was at the end of the semester. She showed me her serial-killer like spreadsheet where she detailed her exploits. She went to med school in a different state and ended up marrying a neurosurgeon who she convinced she was a virgin. She'd be the first person to tell you people like her only exist in incel's imaginations.

 

[FierceBrosnan]

I love that satire shitposting sites spark more thoughtful conversations than anything in the MSM. This is what the world has come to.

 

[babaGAReeb]

I don't know man. I had a friend in college, sweet girl, very attractive, and unless you knew the rumors that trailed her, you'd have no idea she had a >220 body count in under 18 months. I'd been to her dorm room, her bed was still made, with the "welcome students" flier on it, and a thick layer of dust. This was at the end of the semester. She showed me her serial-killer like spreadsheet where she detailed her exploits. She went to med school in a different state and ended up marrying a neurosurgeon who she convinced she was a virgin. She'd be the first person to tell you people like her only exist in incel's imaginations.

sheeeeiiiiiiit

how many diseases had she collected?

 

[BelUwUga]

sheeeeiiiiiiit

how many diseases had she collected?

I considered it to be a vital matter of public service to shuttle her to clinics/pharmacies since otherwise she'd be too busy whoring. Shocking fact of the matter is she was not on BC nor a fan of condoms so she popped Plan B like PEZ. Even more shocking every test I'm aware of came back clean. I'd rub my dick on the elephant's foot in Chernobyl before fucking her though. The tests may say one thing but common sense says otherwise.

 

[Pentex]

This article smells strongly of bait.

The raw nerve it touches is that many men either know someone these things have been done to or been subjected to them personally.

Satire is supposed to be an exaggerated truth, not a verbatim report.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

I don't know man. I had a friend in college, sweet girl, very attractive, and unless you knew the rumors that trailed her, you'd have no idea she had a >220 body count in under 18 months. I'd been to her dorm room, her bed was still made, with the "welcome students" flier on it, and a thick layer of dust. This was at the end of the semester. She showed me her serial-killer like spreadsheet where she detailed her exploits. She went to med school in a different state and ended up marrying a neurosurgeon who she convinced she was a virgin. She'd be the first person to tell you people like her only exist in incel's imaginations.

Well--

How do you even...

...how can one hope to succeed at avoiding that? Will it become commonplace for men to hire PIs to investigate the background of the people with whom they're looking to be in a committed relationship?

I considered it to be a vital matter of public service to shuttle her to clinics/pharmacies since otherwise she'd be too busy whoring.

At first, I thought of blaming you for abetting her whoring, but... what could anyone even do if she-- and the >220 people who slept with her-- had so little self control that they would still all have sex with her? From the way you make it sound, even if you propagated the rumors to the point that it'd be as common knowledge as the location of the library, nothing would change.

 

[BelUwUga]

Well--

How do you even...

...how can one hope to succeed at avoiding that? Will it become commonplace for men to hire PIs to investigate the background of the people with whom they're looking to be in a committed relationship?

Well I currently live a hermetic life about on par with Master Roshi. So I will recuse myself as an authority on providing a good solution here.

At first, I thought of blaming you for abetting her whoring, but... what could anyone even do if she-- and the >220 people who slept with her-- had so little self control that they would still all have sex with her? From the way you make it sound, even if you propagated the rumors to the point that it'd be as common knowledge as the location of the library, nothing would change.

I have complicated feelings about the endeavor, but all things considered I believe I made the right choice. Driving all over earth and creation was already a daily part of life for me and she always paid for whatever herself/sometimes bought me food. It started with one of my good friends who lacked self-control like you described, ignored my counsel, and left her in his room to go to his 8am class. She casually mentions she should probably get plan B, but she's too lazy to go to the pharmacy, so she might just leave things to fate. Even though my friend's stupidity annoyed me I'm not about to do him dirty like that and Plan B is one of those "the sooner the better" type things. This had already solidified in my mind that she was a personal lolcow worth following and as I thought about things I realized I owed it to my fellow man to intervene in cases where coincidence may not make them as lucky as my friend. I can't stop her bad decisions but I can stop it from ruining another life and creating another to potentially ruin.

 

[Mukbang Influencer]

Those dang LULZ.com investigative journalists. Western society put in the penalty box yet again.

 

[Mukbang Influencer]

Edit: nevermind, after some more browsing this looks real

 

[Some JERK]

This seems to be an unpopular opinion, but unless you're packing an STD your sexual past isn't anyone's business but yours. Being upset about a partners body count usually comes from insecurity about your own. If someone asks me about my past I don't answer it other than to assure them that they have nothing relevant to worry about, and I sure as hell don't ask about theirs.

 

[Tuxedo_Zemus]

I'm surprised that no one has invented a swab test kit that can tell you how many partners a woman has had. Wasn't it discovered years ago that women store a trace of the DNA from the semen of their partners? If that's the case, you should be able to see the race of those men as well.

It would be worth it to publicly announce that you've invented such a thing just to watch the nuclear meltdown that would follow. If you remember the MakeApp fiasco, this would have 100x the fallout.

 

[Ser Prize]

Well I currently live a hermetic life about on par with Master Roshi. So I will recuse myself as an authority on providing a good solution here.

I have complicated feelings about the endeavor, but all things considered I believe I made the right choice. Driving all over earth and creation was already a daily part of life for me and she always paid for whatever herself/sometimes bought me food. It started with one of my good friends who lacked self-control like you described, ignored my counsel, and left her in his room to go to his 8am class. She casually mentions she should probably get plan B, but she's too lazy to go to the pharmacy, so she might just leave things to fate. Even though my friend's stupidity annoyed me I'm not about to do him dirty like that and Plan B is one of those "the sooner the better" type things. This had already solidified in my mind that she was a personal lolcow worth following and as I thought about things I realized I owed it to my fellow man to intervene in cases where coincidence may not make them as lucky as my friend. I can't stop her bad decisions but I can stop it from ruining another life and creating another to potentially ruin.

How does a woman even come to desire that sheer level of sluttery?

 

[BelUwUga]

How does a woman even come to desire that sheer level of sluttery?

Unmedicated bipolar (doctor later confirmed, I'd dx a few other disorders), an inappropriately close relationship with her brother, abject lack of attention from her father, and a jealous mother determined to part a girl from every bit of her self esteem. Her "classic" manic episodes were getting naked and consuming inhuman amounts of alcohol. Oh and college was the first time she wasn't watched like a hawk.
Edit for fun: she's a psychiatrist and mother now.

 

[Michael Janke]

isn't it basically impossible to hide it now?
back in the 80s and 90s, a girl could just lie or skip town if she didnt want to be exposed, but now in the age of internet and social media, a dude just has to look through her facebook and instagram posts. if you see her with a bunch of different guys, you know how it is.
what if she deletes her social media, you ask?
if you date a girl and she all of a sudden Nukes her social media, that's a red flag, so get out of there.

 

[TurdFondler]

Girls are so fucking dumb sometimes i swear to God. Like, is anyone falling for this? You know right away if someone's been around because they know what they're doing.

They can pretend all they want but if she gets down to business with the same ease and precision as grandpa shifting the old Buick into drive, you know she's got a double digit body count. And tbh, if you have to hide your past the relationship is probably doomed and you're just gold digging.

 

[Ser Prize]

Unmedicated bipolar (doctor later confirmed, I'd dx a few other disorders), an inappropriately close relationship with her brother, abject lack of attention from her father, and a jealous mother determined to part a girl from every bit of her self esteem. Her "classic" manic episodes were getting naked and consuming inhuman amounts of alcohol. Oh and college was the first time she wasn't watched like a hawk.
Edit for fun: she's a psychiatrist and mother now.

What sucks is she gets her happy ending after duping that guy. What a world.

 

[WonderWino]

I don't know man. I had a friend in college, sweet girl, very attractive, and unless you knew the rumors that trailed her, you'd have no idea she had a >220 body count in under 18 months. I'd been to her dorm room, her bed was still made, with the "welcome students" flier on it, and a thick layer of dust. This was at the end of the semester. She showed me her serial-killer like spreadsheet where she detailed her exploits. She went to med school in a different state and ended up marrying a neurosurgeon who she convinced she was a virgin. She'd be the first person to tell you people like her only exist in incel's imaginations.

That neurosurgeon isn't nearly as smart as he thinks he is i'd say. Its also a bit concerning that somebody in that field is that stupid. I'm not sure i'd want him digging around in my head

That said, anybody fucking that many people and keeping autistic tier spreadsheets about it is doing so for a reason, not just to brag about it. Thats the kind of thing a person does when they're planning to set somebody up for blackmail at some point or do something manipulative with them. Speaking of which, i'd say shes setting said idiot doctor up to divorce him for some major money. It fits with that kind of behavior, and i'd also say thats a best case scenario for her intentions

If that guy has any sense at all he'll get a lawyer to dig into her background real quick, get a restraining order and buy a gun the moment the inevitable happens and she files divorce papers, just in case. thats predator tier shit

I have complicated feelings about the endeavor, but all things considered I believe I made the right choice. Driving all over earth and creation was already a daily part of life for me and she always paid for whatever herself/sometimes bought me food. It started with one of my good friends who lacked self-control like you described, ignored my counsel, and left her in his room to go to his 8am class. She casually mentions she should probably get plan B, but she's too lazy to go to the pharmacy, so she might just leave things to fate. Even though my friend's stupidity annoyed me I'm not about to do him dirty like that and Plan B is one of those "the sooner the better" type things. This had already solidified in my mind that she was a personal lolcow worth following and as I thought about things I realized I owed it to my fellow man to intervene in cases where coincidence may not make them as lucky as my friend. I can't stop her bad decisions but I can stop it from ruining another life and creating another to potentially ruin.

Fucking red flag. Thats predatory manipulative behavior right there. Thats not a 'too stupid/lazy to get the pills' situation that was intentional manipulation to make people think she was. She's playing those around her like she does with the people she has sex with. She was testing your reaction to see how you would respond to it to see if she could get you to do what she wanted, whether you'd put up with it and whether you suspected anything was off about it. I'd bet money on that woman being a legit psychopath that had you doing exactly what she wanted you to

This seems to be an unpopular opinion, but unless you're packing an STD your sexual past isn't anyone's business but yours. Being upset about a partners body count usually comes from insecurity about your own.

No, its about a) knowing whether you should expect said partner to be a walking STD factory and therefore put your health at risk by believing anything they tell you, b) knowing whether they have a questionable history that might come back on both of you sooner or later, like some psycho ex showing up to start something and c) whether you can trust said partner to be honest with you at all. and no, none of that has anything to do with someone being 'insecure.' When you started that relationship you made it their business

If someone asks me about my past I don't answer it other than to assure them that they have nothing relevant to worry about

That kind of response has the opposite effect to any sane person. Its strongly implying you are hiding something relevant from them that is worth worrying about. People who hide things from their partners have something to hide

and I sure as hell don't ask about theirs.

Then you're being foolish and putting yourself at risk

It would be worth it to publicly announce that you've invented such a thing just to watch the nuclear meltdown that would follow. If you remember the MakeApp fiasco, this would have 100x the fallout.

......don't give me ideas. i'd probably do that just to see what happens