I asked ChatGPT To Create A Lolcow - Introducing Gregory Wiffles

[Runch]

To calculate this, we need to compare the surface area of the moon with the area of the Amazon rainforest and consider how much cardboard is produced from that area.

I assumed it was a flat cutout, like how if you get a life size cardboard cutout of Trump it's not going to be 3D and encompass his entire surface area.

 

[Cats]

including a life-size cardboard cutout of the moon.

that's like 100 million dollars worth of cardboard or ~$500 trillion if it was converted into magic the gathering cards

 

[Echo_Doge]

A "Moon Truther" seems so wholesome and quaint compared to the troons and assorted degenerates most modern lolcows seem to be.

My turn.

This is accurate enough that I'd believe it was real if I read it in Proving Grounds.

 

[turkey lurkey]

the cheese pizza incident

 

[Obstacle]

that's like 100 million dollars worth of cardboard or ~$500 trillion if it was converted into magic the gathering cards

Depends on the set, tbh.
Unless you derived that figure from blind boosters.
But you could spend far more on cardboard if you insisted on using rares from out of print sets.

 

[Zemblan Physics]

The Ultimate Alarm Clock: A rubber chicken duct-taped to a doorbell.

Ngl, I’d buy it.

 

[dick brain]

I assumed it was a flat cutout, like how if you get a life size cardboard cutout of Trump it's not going to be 3D and encompass his entire surface area.

Circle with the radius of the moon = 102,080,660,052,709 square feet of cardboard

17 trees = 1 tonne of cardboard = 20,600 square feet of cardboard = 1211.76... square feet per tree = 84,241,321,403 trees

Amazon has 390 billion trees

Amazon can make four and a half moon standees

Or I'm retarded, who knows

 

[Brahma]

I assumed it was a flat cutout, like how if you get a life size cardboard cutout of Trump it's not going to be 3D and encompass his entire surface area.

Shit yeah, ai really is going to steal my job, I can't even instruct the fucking thing properly.

Divide by 4, I think and that's our number

 

[Travis Touchdown (REAL)]

even Zane hates dirty, conniving ratatouille rats

 

[ye's Official KF Burner]

This is accurate enough that I'd believe it was real if I read it in Proving Grounds.

I tried to generate beef with Dong Gone as well but it was being too nice to him so I scrapped it

 

[Runch]

Just the mental image...

Zane wakes up
it's dark out
his clock says it's noon though
he can't see anything out his window
he gets up, steps outside
actual size cardboard moon standee is sitting in his driveway, extending upward to impossible heights, disappearing into a haze of ozone
someone has depleted a dozen rainforests worth of wood to craft this, the earth's ecosystem is beyond damaged forever
his phone buzzes, Twitter notification
a simple message, "trolled, lol bam gottem"
camera pans out as we see him ranting, flailing his pudgy arms and stomping in front of the impossibly large cardboard moon

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

Just the mental image...

Zane wakes up
it's dark out
his clock says it's noon though
he can't see anything out his window
he gets up, steps outside
actual size cardboard moon standee is sitting in his driveway, extending upward to impossible heights, disappearing into a haze of ozone
someone has depleted a dozen rainforests worth of wood to craft this, the earth's ecosystem is beyond damaged forever
his phone buzzes, Twitter notification
a simple message, "trolled, lol bam gottem"
camera pans out as we see him ranting, flailing his pudgy arms and stomping in front of the impossibly large cardboard moon

This was Zane's medallion up the ass moment and it nearly split the website in half.

 

[sanguiduct]

NYPA faggot

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

Zane waking up to see the moon standee

 

[Neodanthril]

Mark Zuckerberg eat your heart out

 

[Endangered Species List]

Interested in hearing specifically what you guys are asking ChatGPT to get these kinds of results. Wondering how it has interpreted certain keywords you guys may or may not have included in your prompts.

Spoiler: Sperg

These are just my personal opinions, of course. It’s rambling so please take it with even less than a grain of salt.

Gregory Wiffles has a very try-hard-y vibe, like if you asked an edgy high schooler to make up someone “cringe” (leaning into the caricature of chronically online degenerates as used in discourse, which sharing traits with does not necessarily constitute a lolcow) and not a generative AI that should have access to actual lolcow content and thus be able to replicate at least some of the “nuance” of popular cows.

Maybe I’m just a retard who missed the memo, but how many popular/heavily-discussed cows have had such a major obsession with moon theories that ChatGPT makes it such an emphasized feature of the lolcow they are asked to create? What are the concepts, phrases, words, etc. associated with “lolcow” in the data with which the AI was trained? No mentioning of troonery? No brony stuff? Like I said, feels like less of a “lolcow” and more like a caricature of chronically online degenerates.

But at the same time… was the specific term “lolcow” even used in the prompt? The resulting character is going to be different depending on the query, and even words that may seem like equivalent substitutions between each other are going to make their distinctions clear when viewed on the mass-scale of scraped data on which AI is trained.

 

[Niggs Monaghan]

Can we make Zane our lolcow mascot?
He's not real so he won't eventually turn into a pedo tranny mother raper or murderer or whatever else other fun lolcows eventually turn into.

 

[Travis Touchdown (REAL)]

I think it'd be funny to make up enough zane lore for a massive thread to be made about him for the express purpose of fucking with newfags and convincing him that he's real

 

[Runch]

What are the concepts, phrases, words, etc. associated with “lolcow” in the data with which the AI was trained? No mentioning of troonery? No brony stuff?

Remember ChatGPT is part of the sanitized corporate hellscape. Troonery would be seen as a touchy subject and could potentially be making fun of a marginalized group. Brony stuff would be mentioning a specific copyrighted property which could upset the copyright holder.

Same situation with the female cow someone made, it picked the lamest, least controversial traits, just being a general bad bitch e-girl and thinking she's a martial artist. ChatGPT is not gonna dream up revenge porn scandals and tampons stuck to the wall.

 

[ye's Official KF Burner]

I think it'd be funny to make up enough zane lore for a massive thread to be made about him for the express purpose of fucking with newfags and convincing him that he's real

Kiwifarms Glup Shitto Lore