My trauma reaps into almost every aspect of my life when I was a kid I asked for a buzz light year toy only for her to scream her head off at me about it making me cry onetime I asked for a bell for my bike and she screamed her head off at me this one hurt pretty bad because not too long ago I walked by the bikes in Walmart only to have a flashback to that day and I almost had a panic attack
Even now I'm afraid to ask for gifts because I might get screamed at and anytime I try to open up about this I feel an overbearing guilt knowing I'm hurting my family and embarrassing myself by revealing my trauma and what makes it worse is I know they are disappointed in their failure of a son
I was often mocked for not shaking hands or hugging because of my shyness often mocked for not looking people in the eyes because it almost brings me to tears then one of my most traumatic memories that still haunts me to this day the new years incident
My mom would always fight my dad on new years onetime she threw a knife and almost stabbed my dad and the worst one she broke a flower pot and my brother loudly screamed im gonna kill myself I burst into tiers thinking of this but I know the sad truth of my life
