I'm getting too old for this shit.

[peanus weenus]

It's not just Kiwifarms, everything is political nowadays. You go to reddit and entire frontpage is american politics. You go to twitter and it's one giant battlefield between politicans, influencers, celebrities and god knows who else trying to one up others with spreading awareness about various "issues". You go to 4chan and everyone is afraid about trannies ruining their next remaining hobby. Everything you can look at is an potential political platform you can use for your goals, whether is winning elections or gaining more followers that listen to inane shit you post on the internet.

My 10 years old cousin spent her time with me yesterday looking at cellphone and browsing memes about politicians. She should be looking at the boys or anime or whatever little girls are into. People are starting to do the polar opposite of escapism. It's the unhealthy obsession with the drama that occures within society, the extasy that they are in the middle of important changes they can be part of, not knowing that someone showers them with politics from every side of our everyday life exactly becuase they want them to get involved in misguided way.

Right now we're in the middle of important economical and social changes all around the world. The america is not the most important country and other countries aren't the not important countries anymore. As more people jump into the middle class, they start to look out for themselves and their families to get the biggier piece of cake. Is it wrong to ignore the change? Certainly. Is it right to be obsessed about it to the point it disrupts your everyday life, while you refresh front pages about newest happenings all over the world and posting/upvoting shit on reddit and twitter without proper research and looking at the bigger picture? Definitely.

 

[SenutiSolidus]

A solution I might have is if you ever wanted to shutdown the site, leave it in archive form forever. I wasn't around for METOKUR, but when Habermann decided to pull the plug, that site went down forever. I don't want to see that happen to this site.

 

[No Exit]

Null you can't really start a family with the ire of cancel culture bullshit constantly hovering above your head, especially the nuclear family style. I'm sure you have the talent to find a job good enough for it but you don't have the means right now.
If the political sperging bothers you that much just get rid of it, especially if it doesn't fit your image of what the site should be. You're already used to retards yelling about the site, what's a few more at this point?
If the age of the lolcow is over then what's the point of the site? As much as I like KF, the whole point is to catalogue and follow idiots.
Feeling distant from the site and not knowing the userbase anymore is a serious problem. I know you're busy but you could try and interact more with the people here. Post more in threads and just try to relax, or find more moderators and take a vacation. Maybe it would be good to try and see what your life would be like without the farms for a bit.

All I know is that what you're feeling seems pretty common for someone nearing the end of your 20's so don't sweat it so much.

 

[HOMO FOR LIFE]

I hate to see middle life crisis of someone impacting my spare time

 

[Staffy]

I get what null means and even if null didn't live traditionally during his 20's i'd say he still had a hell of a life compared to others thanks to running this forum.

 

[TheBlackVolga]

Null, I'm sorry you feel the way you do. This site is great - in no small part thanks to your courage.

Do what is best for you.

 

[Rokko]

Feeling like that is a fundamental part of most peoples life (not all, some are lucky enough to be stupid), feeling less joy included. This bad feeling wants to make you change your way of doing stuff.
Your mind is more powerfull than you might think. Some scientists think that depression is like physical pain: Its your brain that tells you to change something (like getting your hand of the hot oven plate).
When you feel bad, change something.

Overthink your life in silence.

Unfortunately, nobody can tell you what you have to change.

But if you want to have kids and a partner, you need to get outside (as in, be active, initiate contact, do something you´ve never done before.). If you want to have more friends, get outside. If you want to have a new job, get outside.
There is basically nothing else to do. Nothing will come to you in 99.999%. Going out increases your chance of feeling better by 99%

"Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action"

There is only one solution. Just do it. Don´t fucking waste your time. Thats an even more horrible feeling.

You´ll probably never conquer that feeling until you got enough of give up.

 

[Kay's Boiled Beef]

I turn 30 in a month and I am so fucking glad I am not sperging out about having a family, kids, a white picket fence and some other pedestrian values. My only goal is to actually own some plot of land somewhere where I can live my life and fuck around without being a wage slave for the rest of my life. Within another decade I should have that all fairly locked down. I have spent most of my life working with the mentally ill and making whatever positive changes I can in peoples lives in the same spirit that you outlined about leaving a mark on the world. It has not panned out the same way as I imagined and I am spending more time thinking about just making some money to be able to disconnect from society more fully. Society is sick and always has been. Especially if you don't march to the same drum as the masses of exceptional individuals. Life is all about the purposes you set out for yourself to resolve whatever feelings you have in your heart. Tons of people find having kids to be that one thing. Others have different values. Life is absurdity and that is about it. Just do what you want and fuck everything else. Do a couple nice things on the way and chill. Were all prisoners just making do with this mortal coil. None of us asked to be here and life is constantly asking of us to answer with purpose, but the majority of it is just pissing in the wind as our cells haphazardly stumble forward in time accomplishing its own goal.

Just find something you enjoy doing with your time and if it leads to more then great. If it doesn't then just go do something else again. This won't be the first or last time you come to a crossroads where you feel you need change. Many just stumble into being a parent resolving their previous feelings of discontent to just be in a new set of ones and then they deal with that one and on and on into death. If anything developing a state of being which can weather the perpetual storms is of more use than any specific change in life. Having good friends and connections with people is probably the healthiest thing anyone can have. With the way modern culture is finding those actual connections is much more difficult than it once was.

tl:dr life is ultimately meaningless, you create those meanings. Currently the meaning you are getting from things is unfulfilling cause you have changed as a person. Relationships mean a ton to us since we are social creatures and can be supportive and restorative. Talk to people, maybe that will help.

 

[Hapless Mailman]

Wanting a family is not a bad thing and I encourage you to go in that direction, many of us are. Just try to seek some help someway before you do anything major.

This, and I also second @Overlined Lips -- I know the fantasy of an idyllic family is tempting when you're feeling shitty, but try and get well first. Using a marriage as a way to try and 'fix' your life is an awful idea and unfair to your partner and potential kids.

 

[Irrational Exuberance]

 

[Alex Poulos]

Please do another merch run with shirts that have the St. Void design on them before you go.

 

[Coelacanth]

1. How do I move into stability and towards a more fulfilled person?
Take a break. Give yourself some time to mull over your thoughts and if necessary seek professional help. Mental illness is a shithole and once you're stuck in it it's a bitch to climb back out of, trust me on this one.
2. How do I refocus my efforts so my workload is more manageable?
I'm conflicted on this one because I have no fucking clue how to run a forum that has almost 50K members. But on the other hand you take a lot of stuff for this site - far more than one man should handle but as @Xarpho said before leaving it to a bunch of mods could be detrimental. Sorry I can't be more help here.
3. How do I have fun again?
I don't know about anybody else here, but de-fanging the A&H parts of the site is probably going to help bring a bit of joy back to the Farms. It's not really fun and while some ridiculous articles are good to laugh at the weens shit-flinging at each other over articles and happenings about politics is dumb and I'm sure it has driven many people away.

I've tried to keep it brief, but I hope I've been of some help. I love this place, but you don't need to suffer for us Null.

 

[CEO of Husbandos]

lol, imagine null and his void wife having sex in the bedroom, while the mini nulls play minecraft in the living room, that would be cute

 

[Queen Elizabeth II]

The problem there is, as he's mentioned in the past, his reputation from the association from this site has doomed him financially and vocationally. Unless he's willing to change his identity or get a nom de plume, any project he works on will doubtless be tarnished with "Evil nazi bigot white supremacist Joshua Moon."

That's not terribly difficult to get around honestly. Worst possible scenario is if you register a business, just do it in a close relatives/friend's name.

That and after a name change, you could even say "I had to change my name because I kept getting mistaken for this douche" if anyone ever asked.

 

[Zebedee]

The definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again, expecting things to change. Cliche quote I know, but it applies here.

Like Champthom, I’d hand over the reins to someone else willing to take it and has the energy to keep that same fire burning.

In any case, it takes a certain strength to admit when you’ve “lost” for lack of a better term, especially considering the shit that is about to collectively drop on us anyways.

Go start that family you want, personal happiness should always eclipse your ideals. Life is, and always will be a compromise in that regard.

 

[KiwiJoe]

Null should just open up a YouTube Travel channel and just document travels to all sorts of weird countries like Turkmenistan or something, a la Bald and Bankrupt or Drew Binsky. It would be pretty fun with his personality.

In all seriousness, I understand., though, it's Null's website, he can do whatever he wants at the end of the day. I'm in no position of changing his mind, and I get the feeling of getting too old for some shit. If KF were to end now or within the end of 2020, I wouldn't feel so bad. Not that I hate the site, but at least throughout its duration, it ended off and lived pretty decently, even though I didn't make an account earlier, I was still a lurker before ever since 2015 and the site as a whole has been through a lot as I can tell.

Chris, Deagle Nation, Yaniv, Internet Celebs, and now the Riots watching, etc. its been through a hell of a lot and at least the legacy of KF would be a pretty decent one. A site that documented lolcows (people who are entertaining to watch in terms of schadenfreude) becoming too big for its own good and losing its original spirit and deciding to pull the plug before it ends up like Something Awful. Not bad for a legacy if KF had to end right now. Although I do hope KF veterans can someday form communities across different sites and still keep the KF spirit alive. Something like those Confederate veteran associations.

I can't say the same for Encyclopedia Dramatica's legacy. I'd rather that site shut down than exist as the pathetic current state it is. I hope Kiwifarms never ends up like ED. Thankfully Null is no DeGrippo, and I haven't seen any OhInternet-tier events that could lead to anything bad happening, but you could never know. I started off as an edgy EDiot years ago and I can already tell ever since 2017 (when the first loss of pics happened and people didn't give a shit to fix it) that was when the site lost its way, though by then I already lost interest. I feel like KF is kinda what ED would've ended up as if the administration wasn't stupid, so good job on that.

Although ED, IIRC, never really suffered any 'political stuff' so maybe its not proper to compare the two. I also agree that political stuff can also be quite the double edged sword. In an increasing politicized world its hard to keep a balance between laughing at someone because of their politics or because they're just a retard who's funny to look at. Kinda ironic how I started my accounted because of that Fuentes thread since I got really invested into it, but I do long for a return (however doubtful) of mid-2000s style of apolitical lolcow...

Still, take it easy Null.

 

[Rotollo]

de-fanging the A&H parts of the site is probably going to help bring a bit of joy back to the Farms.

De-fang in what way? Personally I think maybe having a day limit since joining to accounts for posts is one of the only ways you could probably make a big enough dent in it, sorta to force new posters to lurk more. maybe put in tighter rules there compared to other OT boards.

 

[Leopold II of Belgium]

Hrmph, right in the feels.

Best of luck to you, Null

 

[buying gf]

lol, imagine null and his void wife having sex in the bedroom, while the mini nulls play minecraft in the living room, that would be cute

Nah, he'd have them sweepin' it up in SS13, not playing Minecraft

 

[Ketamine Kat]

After reading that I have no words and feel I understand a bit more behind the scenes of the farms.

Regardless of what happens Null, you deserve a salute for your hardwork and dedication to this entertaining and liberating small corner of the internet that has been demonized.